Viva La Ghash!

Tuesday, 15 September 2015

Dream 499

'The New Chucky Doll'

Dream date: 12 September 2015

Day 5 of 14-Day Dream Incubation Experiment - Kurt Cobain Dream

This is Day 5 of my 14-Day Dream Incubation Experiment. Click on the red link to access the article which explains the experiment and contains all relevant links.

Scene 1: Outside the Drama Studio at University - Day
The majority of this dream took place in the area directly outside the Drama Studio at my university. It was a short dream and I cannot recall much of it because I was drunk when I went to sleep and I woke up with a slight hangover. Alcohol affects your ability to recall any dreams you may have while under the influence.

It was a hot sunny day and the sky was very blue. I was aware that a company was remaking the Good Guy Dolls - in particular, one called 'Chucky' - I was thinking about the Child's Play movie franchise, and even though I knew (in the dream) that these were just movies I was incredibly uneasy about the idea that Chucky was going to be made into an actual doll and sold to children. I was handed one of the dolls in a box - by a male dream character in a business suit, who worked for the company producing the new Good Guy/Chucky Dolls. He came from the Drama Studio, which was the headquarters for the factory making the dolls. He said: 'They don't need batteries now, they are digital'. This made me feel even more uncomfortable, as I felt that this might lead to the Chucky Dolls coming to life. I then looked at a bush, to the side of the entrance to the Drama Studio, and saw one of the Good Guy/Chucky Dolls standing amongst the leaves. It was clearly alive and seemed to be acting with free will as it saw me looking at him and waved - and was moving, or at least able to move autonomously, as if it were alive. The businessman dream character asked me what was wrong, and I said: 'Chucky's alive!' to which he said: 'No, it's in the box'. I told him I did not mean the one I was holding - and pointed to the one in the bushes, but it was no longer there. The businessman (who had obviously not seen the alive doll in the bushes - he was standing on the steps at the entrance, so was slightly behind/to the side of the bushes) said: 'Oh, that's just the way they are programmed'.

I cannot remember anything else about this dream.

TIME: 02:30 - 10:50 hours (I am not sure when this dream took place)

LUCIDITY: NO

SPECIAL NOTES: 14-Day Dream Incubation Experiment:

I drank a considerable quantity of alcohol prior to going to bed and having this dream

Dream Information:

I used to have a real fear of Chucky from Child's Play, because I watched the movies when I was too young and found them disturbing. My Masters (LLM) thesis was on the lasting legal legacy of the James Bulger Murder - one aspect of this case was the fact the Childsplay movies were blamed as one of the triggers for the horrific crime which was committed by 2 10-year old boys, Robert Thompson & Jon Venables who were said to have committed acts (not all revealed in the public domain due to their sensitive nature) which were influenced by the killing of the Chucky doll in Child's Play 3 (1991)

Dreamsigns:

The fact Chucky from the Child's Play movies appeared in this dream

Recurrent Dream Themes:

I have had previous dreams throughout my life involving Chucky from Child's Play

Potential Day/Dream Residue:

I cannot quite remember correctly if someone recently told me that there is a forthcoming remake - or sequel - to the Child's Play movies

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
I didn't really have any strong emotions regarding this dream as it was not particularly scary - unlike previous dreams which have involved Chucky from Child's Play. I would not define this dream as a nightmare, although in the dream I was disturbed by the presence of the Chucky doll and disliked the fact it was being produced.

Interpretation/Analysis:
This dream does not seem in any way related to my dream incubation experiment or Kurt Cobain!

Monday, 14 September 2015

Dream 498

'There's No Shoes For Sale!'

Dream date: 11 September 2015

Day 4 of 14-Day Dream Incubation Experiment - Kurt Cobain Dream

This is Day 4 of my 14-Day Dream Incubation Experiment. Click on the red link to access the article which explains the experiment and contains all relevant links.

I had no recalled dream on Day 3 of this experiment.

Scene 1: A Shop/Market Stall - Day
I was in some kind of shop or indoor market stall (like those in Camden Lock - see images below) looking at some shoes being sold. I wanted some red velvet Doc Marten Mary Janes (see image below) and was looking for them in the racks of shoes. I was with a male - someone I know from real-life, but I cannot recall who. He was helping me look. The shop/stall manager/owner came over and said that he had some better shoes on another rack and directed me over. He was a middle-aged white man with a normal face and thin grey hair. He was wearing a white butcher's apron over a maroon shirt. This rack of shoes were all 'alternative' and 'grungy' and was positioned by the side of a large glass display cabinet of other shoes. I saw the shoes I wanted - secondhand - and decided I wanted to buy them. The manager/owner held them up for me to inspect, and seemed keen to sell them to me. I told the manager/owner I would come back to buy them in a minute.

I then wandered off and started talking to my cousin HM, who was looking at some racks of clothes on another stand in the same shop/stall. I noticed this part of the shop/stall was much darker than the part where the shoes were. The racks of clothing were low - below my waist as I had to bend to look at them - or mounted on the wall, very high up. There were other female dream characters browsing in the clothing section. It seemed the clothes were all vintage or second-hand. This would be typical of Camden Lock markets, which are famous for these types of clothing stalls. I hadn't realised she was also here with me until this moment in the dream. HM was looking at some camouflage-print clothing. I was looking at a baby blue 1960s housedress - a kinderwhore style one with a white Peter Pan collar (see image of Courtney Love, below, where she is wearing clothes related to this dream). My cousin then picked up a two-piece outfit of a cropped bra-let top and some hotpants, which were white with blue stripes and looked like a retro bathing suit. She went to try it on, and while she did, I looked at other grunge-style dresses on a tall rack. She came back - from a red curtained off area next to the rack I was looking at - and said the outfit didn't fit and was too big for her, so I said I would buy it instead and was pleased!

I went back to the manager/owner of the shop/stall and asked about the red velvet Doc Marten Mary Janes I had been looking at. He said that he never stocked any of them. I said: 'You just showed me them!' and he denied this and said he hadn't showed me any shoes. I said: 'You showed me the shoes!' but again, he said he had not shown me any shoes and he was not selling any of those description. He and I argued over this for a moment. I was frustrated, as he was basically implying that I was lying or had some kind of mental lapse. I went over to the rack of shoes I had been looking at and found the shoes I wanted - the red velvet Mary Janes. The manager/owner just sold me the items I wanted, without further question.

TIME: 02:00 - 07:50 hours (I do not know when this dream took place)

LUCIDITY: NO

SPECIAL NOTES: 14-Day Dream Incubation Experiment:

Dream Information:

HM's husband is a soldier in the Armed Forces

Dreamsigns:

The behaviour of the shop/stall manager/owner was odd - a weak dreamsign

Recurrent Dream Themes:

My cousin HM - and discussion/themes of our comparative body-shape/type/size

Potential Day/Dream Residue:

I have a pair of the black and a pair of the white Doc Marten Mary Jane shoes (see images below) - which I associate with Courtney Love
On the day of this dream I was sitting on my front step thinking about finding some more Mary Jane style shoes for Autumn

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
I didn't realise the significance of some of the dream themes in this dream until I came to analyse it for this post. When I then thought about it, it made me excited about my dream incubation experiment - see below!

Interpretation/Analysis:
I associate Mary Jane shoes with Courtney Love - and also the blue dress - in the image below, she is wearing both. At first I didn't have any particular mental connection between this dream and my dream incubation experiment, but then I looked further into the dream. I love the Mary Jane shoes and thought the dream reference was simply the emergence of day residue - see above), but then I thought closer about the association of these particular shoes and the Courtney Love idea came to mind. I first bought the black Mary Janes (from Camden Lock Market!) because I wanted some grunge shoes and something of a more 'girly' alternative to the Doc Marten or biker-style boots I also wear. Therefore, although it is quite subtle, clearly, the seed for my dream incubation experiment - a dream about Kurt Cobain has been planted and I continue to get indirect references to him in my dreams, albeit those expressing the way his wife has inspired me in some way connected to identity, style and fashion!

Thursday, 10 September 2015

Index Page for My 14-Day Dream Incubation Experiment - Kurt Cobain Dream

This is an Index Page for easy navigation for those of you following my 14-Day Dream Incubation Experiment - Kurt Cobain Dream. You can find the initial post for my dream incubation experiment, by clicking on the title above (red text in the main body of an article is a hyper-link which will open in another window).

Here is a list of the Dream Journal Reports relating to dreams experienced during my 14-Day Dream Incubation Experiment - Kurt Cobain Dream:

Here are 2 previous dreams about Kurt Cobain (one non-lucid with an interesting narrative, the other a spontaneous DILD - Dream-Initiated Lucid Dream - with elements of lucid dream sex): Dream 478 (My Favourite Dream Ever) (the non-lucid dream) & Dream 488 (the lucid dream).

Here are the methods I am following for this Dream Incubation Experiment:

Perform the MILD Technique for lucid dreaming on a daily basis. If this dream is a lucid dream, it will therefore be a DILD (Dream-Initiated/Induced Lucid Dream).
Incorporate elements of Tholey's Combined Technique for lucid dreaming, which has been reviewed as the most successful (cognitive) method for lucid dream induction. I will adapt the key steps of critical reflection, intention and auto-suggestion so that I not only encourage myself to become lucid, but use these as a way of incubating my desired dream theme.
Use visual aids - such as photographs relating to my dream incubation theme - as well as immersing myself in material relevant to my dream incubation during my waking hours. I will also keep the written prompt for my dream incubation under my pillow and make sure I read it before going to sleep each night.
Where possible, I will perform the Wake-Back-to-Bed method.
Incorporate my chosen dream theme in both my daily reality checks (10 - 15 per day) by thinking clearly and positively about my incubated dream theme after each reality check.
Train myself to spot dreamsigns when reflecting on my Dream Journal entries each day following a dream - then hopefully, if my dream incubation is successful, recognising the dreamsigns within the dream (i.e. meeting a dead celebrity would be a dreamsign in the context of this experiment) and reality checking will trigger me to become lucid.
Meditate on my incubated dream theme for at least 10 minutes before sleep and perform specific affirmations alongside the normal MILD Technique/Tholey's Combined Technique ones ('I will lucid dream about [incubated dream theme] tonight, and I will remember it') - this should also encourage successful dream recall.
Use Dream Visualisation before sleep - using my previous dreams based on the incubated dream theme as inspiration.

Youtube videos relating to my 14-Day Dream Incubation Experiment - Kurt Cobain Dream:

Dream 497

'My Kurdish Ex-Boyfriend'

Dream date: 9 September 2015

Day 2 of 14-Day Dream Incubation Experiment - Kurt Cobain Dream

This is Day 1 of my 14-Day Dream Incubation Experiment. Click on the red link to access the article which explains the experiment and contains all relevant links.

Scene 1: My Nan's House in Sheringham - Day
The majority of this dream took place in my nan's house in Sheringham - there may have been other dream scene locations prior to Scene 1 as recorded, but I cannot remember them. One of my ex-boyfriends - a Kurdish guy from London was in the dream, and we were back together again, although in the dream we had not split up. I was using both his real first name 'Serkan' and his nickname, 'Adam' when referring to him in the dream. I was happy - although it seemed that Serkan/Adam was actually PS, another ex-boyfriend (also from London) - who I much preferred. I cannot recall much of this scene, other than the fact that on my birthday I would be turning a year older than my real-life age, and someone (I cannot recall who) was pressuring me to make a decision regarding starting a family or having children, which was making me feel anxious.

Scene 2: My Former Workplace - a Criminal Defence Law Firm - Day
I was in my former workplace, with a former colleague, a female named RG. RG was showing me a piece of paper, which somehow related to a legal case. The legal case was about someone (I am not sure who) who had a family - and somehow this family was connected to me, although it wasn't my family. I feel that some of the forgotten aspects of this dream would offer an explanation as to who the family were and why they were involved in a legal case. I think I had visited the family earlier in the dream (unrecalled) - and there was some link to Serkan/Adam, food (a birthday cake?) being served and a garden with white objects in it. There may have also been a package or box of some kind. These themes seemed relevant to my memory of the dream.

In any event, I felt that I should be handling this legal case as I had some intimate connection with the people involved in it, who were all male. I persuaded RG that I would take over the work on this case from her. I took the piece of paper from RG and examined it closer. Her boss, AS (a senior lawyer) had been handling the case prior to her getting the work on her desk. He had drawn a picture in pencil, which I could not make out - other than the fact it contained an image of some plastic 'Goody' barrettes in the shape of bows (I own some of these in real-life). I said: 'I want more of those!' meaning the barrettes. The barrettes were in a 'garden' in the pencil drawing - and white - which may have represented the white objects in the garden in the forgotten part of this dream. I think I had visited this garden in the dream - with the male members of the family I was handling the legal case for. Everything seems confused and vague as I try and recall/record this dream.

TIME: 21:30 - 10:40 hours (I woke up from this dream)

LUCIDITY: NO

SPECIAL NOTES: 14-Day Dream Incubation Experiment:

Dream Information:

I dated Serkan/Adam for a few months, but split up from him because I wasn't particularly in love with him and didn't see the point of prolonging the relationship. I would not get back together with him now
I dated PS for 4 years and was in love with him

Dreamsigns:

Serkan/Adam and PS were the same person - or a composite dream character and I was aware of this in the dream
I was a year older than my real-age

Recurrent Dream Themes:

My nan's house as a dream scene location
PS as a dream character

Potential Day/Dream Residue:

The day of this dream I had been telling a friend about my former job in a criminal defence law firm
The day of this dream I had been discussing the post-room/packages with a friend at university

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
I feel very frustrated that I have forgotten a lot of this dream, as when I woke up from it, I felt that some of it was quite significant and left me feeling a bit empty - I know the forgotten aspects did not include any further references to Kurt Cobain or Nirvana, but I still wish I had better recall as I definitely experienced some dream action prior to Scene 1 and between Scene 1 or 2 which made the dream narrative more clear, meaningful, cohesive and interesting to me.

Interpretation/Analysis:
I associate Goody Barrettes with Courtney Love - Kurt Cobain's wife. This is another positive indication that the 'seed' for a successful dream incubation has been planted. I feel that my dreams are presenting me with subtle clues that I will soon have a dream about Kurt Cobain!

* I know I have forgotten quite a lot of this dream - I did recall more of it upon waking, but while I was consolidating the dream memory in my mind, I was disturbed by a workman who had come to fix a hole in my bedroom wall, so the dream memory quickly faded. If I recall anything else about this dream, I will record it below.

Dream 496

'My Friend, the Rockstar'

Dream date: 8 September 2015

Day 1 of 14-Day Dream Incubation Experiment - Kurt Cobain Dream

This is Day 1 of my 14-Day Dream Incubation Experiment. Click on the red link to access the article which explains the experiment and contains all relevant links.

Scene 1: An Outside Rock Show (Location Unknown) - Night
There was some action preceding this scene, but I cannot recall it. I then found myself at an outside rock show at night - with a male dream character, who was a friend in the dream. We were in the middle of a large crowd, watching the main act, which was a grunge band, much like Nirvana in the type of music they were playing. It was an all-male band - the lead guitarist and singer was my friend, FV - who I am not sure can play an instrument or sing - and I am not sure is even into this genre of music. The stage was brightly lit with flashing lights and the audience was screaming and waving their arms in enjoyment of the gig. In the dream, FV was a rockstar and not my friend - he was unknown to me.

Scene 2: A Gym Changing Room - Time Unknown
I was then in a gym changing room - FV was there and now it appeared that I knew him quite well. A female who I had gone to school with in Sheringham, but not seen since I left school was there, saying to me: 'I don't know why you find FV attractive as he has very square hands' (he doesn't - I checked after the dream). She then started to push me towards FV. FV responded by kissing me on the neck, which I found very erotic and exciting.

Scene 3: A Common Room at my University - Day
I was then in training at university. My friend, AMC - who attended at my first university in York, but is not a student in my current university and does not know any of my friends at this university - was sitting in a seat next to FV. AMC was wearing a pale grey jumper and her hair was in a ponytail. I asked AMC if she would mind moving to another seat so that I could sit next to FV as I had enjoyed our erotic encounter earlier in the dream. She obliged and I went over to thank her as she had moved to a separate table. The tables were filled with buffet food and we were all eating.

I then fell to the floor and realised that I was naked from the waist-down. This did not make me anxious or uneasy - in fact I felt completely calm and comfortable in this situation. FV started having sex with me, in front of all our peers/colleagues. This was a 'wet dream' and I had a sexual response. I woke up.

TIME: 22:30 - 07:00 hours (I woke up from this dream)

LUCIDITY: NO

SPECIAL NOTES: 14-Day Dream Incubation Experiment:

Dream Information:

FV and I do the same part-time job while we are studying for different post-graduate degrees. We are currently in a training programme for this job, which takes place in the common room seen in the dream

Dreamsigns:

FV was a rockstar
AMC would not be in training as she does not attend my university or do the same job as me
I was naked in a public place and FV started having sex with me

Recurrent Dream Themes:

Lower body nudity

Potential Day/Dream Residue:

I had been in training - in the common room which appeared in the dream - with FV, on the day this dream took place
The day of this dream I had been discussing Irish accents - as 2 of my friends in the same job as me are Irish. AMC is also Irish

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
I enjoyed this dream a lot, like I do with most sex dreams - but I felt like it might make FV uncomfortable if I described it to him, as there is no sexual or romantic relationship between us in real-life, we are platonic friends, colleagues and neighbours! I was also very excited that this seemed like a positive start to my dream incubation experiment!

Interpretation/Analysis:
I think this dream reflects the fact that the 'seed' for my dream incubation experiment has been successfully planted! I was watching an all-male 3-piece grunge band play to large audience - this may have been a coincidence, but basically the theme of the first scene was remarkably relevant to my incubated dream theme!

14 Day Dream Incubation Experiment - Kurt Cobain Dream

I am conducting a new Dream Incubation Experiment! Following 2 dreams I had about one of my icons, Kurt Cobain, one which was non-lucid - Dream 478 (My Favourite Dream Ever) and one of which was a spontaneous Dream-Initiated Lucid Dream (DILD) - Dream 488, I had a strong desire to incubate a further Kurt Cobain dream, which may or may not be lucid.

I have had some successful and unsuccessful previous dream incubation experiments, which you may like to read:

The 14-Day Dream Incubation Experiment - The 'Dream Town' Dream - which was successful on Day 14 and involved a lucid dream - Dream 430
The Marilyn Monroe Dream Incubation Experiment (this link takes you to an Index Page for this Dream Incubation Experiment which I also summarised in Youtube videos) - which was initially intended to be a 7 day experiment, but was extended to 14 days and was successful on Day 13 following a lucid false awakening - Dream 325
The Freudian Therapy Session Dream Incubation Experiment - which was unsuccessful, but was outlined in another Youtube video

I will do the following to incubate my chosen dream theme:

Perform the MILD Technique for lucid dreaming on a daily basis. If this dream is a lucid dream, it will therefore be a DILD (Dream-Initiated/Induced Lucid Dream).
Incorporate elements of Tholey's Combined Technique for lucid dreaming, which has been reviewed as the most successful (cognitive) method for lucid dream induction. I will adapt the key steps of critical reflection, intention and auto-suggestion so that I not only encourage myself to become lucid, but use these as a way of incubating my desired dream theme.
Use visual aids - such as photographs relating to my dream incubation theme - as well as immersing myself in material relevant to my dream incubation during my waking hours. I will also keep the written prompt for my dream incubation under my pillow and make sure I read it before going to sleep each night.
Where possible, I will perform the Wake-Back-to-Bed method.
Incorporate my chosen dream theme in both my daily reality checks (10 - 15 per day) by thinking clearly and positively about my incubated dream theme after each reality check.
Train myself to spot dreamsigns when reflecting on my Dream Journal entries each day following a dream - then hopefully, if my dream incubation is successful, recognising the dreamsigns within the dream (i.e. meeting a dead celebrity would be a dreamsign in the context of this experiment) and reality checking will trigger me to become lucid.
Meditate on my incubated dream theme for at least 10 minutes before sleep and perform specific affirmations alongside the normal MILD Technique/Tholey's Combined Technique ones ('I will lucid dream about [incubated dream theme] tonight, and I will remember it') - this should also encourage successful dream recall.
Use Dream Visualisation before sleep - using my previous dreams based on the incubated dream theme as inspiration.

Here is my Dream Incubation Experiment prompt:

Here is a Youtube video I have made in relation to my 14 Day Dream Incubation Experiment - Kurt Cobain Dream:

And here is another Youtube video I made about my non-lucid Kurt Cobain Dream:

Tuesday, 8 September 2015

Dream 495

'Sexual Abuse of a Dream Cousin'

Dream date: 7 September 2015

Scene 1: An Interior (Location Unknown) - Day

The first part of the dream was confusing, as I was a passive spectator/observer of the action, and not really involved in it. There was a husband and wife (dream characters), who seemed to have a relationship which was very controlling on the part of the husband. The female told the husband that she was pregnant. They were standing in an ordinary kitchen. The wife seemed very keen to please her husband at all costs and was 'submissive'. I then realised that the husband and wife were made out of biscuits. I am not sure what other action took place in this scene, as I felt quite disconnected from it and uninterested in what was happening in relation to these dream characters.

Scene 2: Sheringham High Street - Day

I was in Sheringham High Street with 2 of my female cousins, HM and CAJ. Both of them were their younger selves - and maybe I was also. We were outside a bakery (see Google Maps image, below), but the general area looked slightly different from real-life. I was balancing between 2 waist-high brick walls outside the bakery - using my hands (one on either wall) to lift myself off the ground (the way gymnasts use pommel horses). My cousins and I were discussing our different body shapes. My cousin HM is very slim with narrow hips, whereas I am curvy with wide hips. In the dream she was wearing tight white shorts. I was telling HM that I sometimes wish I had her slender frame. She was saying she wished she had a bigger butt like me. I noticed it was quite dark, even though it was daylight - and it was raining lightly. My cousins and I were waiting for 'adult' family members (i.e. our mums - who are 3 sisters - and nan) to come out of the bakery.

Scene 3: My Nan's House, Sheringham - Day

I had come to my nan's house to collect some cannabis before going somewhere in relation to training or a course of some kind. I think there was part of the dream in which my intended destination and activity was clear to me, but I have since forgotten this. I know I was on a tight schedule as I was expected elsewhere soon.

RR was laying on a single bed which (in real-life) used to be in my bedroom (there used to be 2 single beds on either side of the room, now there is only one). RR was naked from the waist down. I looked in the mirror of my dressing table, which was behind me. I saw I could also see my own naked body. My butt was normal colour, but I had a deep tan from my waist upwards. My butt looked round and well-defined, unlike RR's which was quite flat. I asked RR to sell me some cannabis. I could see a small pile of cannabis on the pillows of the bed. She said I should help myself. She then asked me if I would have lesbian sex with her. I refused, on the basis that I am not a lesbian or interested in a same-sex experience with her. She then covered her face and started crying. I stroked her hair to comfort her, and noticed she was wearing earrings which were pale green gems stones with diamonds round the outside. She then asked me: 'Did he penetrate you?' I asked who she meant and she said: 'Our granddad', indicating that we shared a common grandparent - I then realised she was my cousin. I said that I had never been sexually abused by my/our grandfather - and this upset her even more, as she was his only victim and it made her feel ashamed and guilty.

TIME: 23:00 - 09:00 hours (I woke up from this dream)

LUCIDITY: NO

SPECIAL NOTES: NONE OF NOTE

Dream Information:

RR is a girl from Sheringham who I went to school with. I am not friends with her. She is married, but separated from a male who I rejected romantically recently. RR's father married my cousin's aunt - making her my cousin's cousin, but not my cousin

Dreamsigns:

The husband and wife dream characters were made out of biscuits
My cousins were their younger selves
Sheringham High Street looked different from real-life
I had a recent dream in which I saw RR naked from the waist down - and realised she had a deflated butt cheek
In the dream RR was my cousin
My grandfather is dead - and although he was emotionally distant and verbally/emotionally abusive to my nan and my mum (as a result of mental illness) when we all lived together in this house, he was not sexually abusive at all

Recurrent Dream Themes:

The bakery in Sheringham as a dream scene location
My nan's house in Sheringham as a dream scene location
RR as a dream character
RR's naked butt looking deflated
A sexually abusive grandfather character

Potential Day/Dream Residue:

Two days before this dream, I had a discussion with my friend, an international student, who was telling me about the relationships between husband and wives in his home country - women are submissive to men and have no rights of their own
The day before this dream, I was playing Sims 3 and used the interaction 'announce pregnancy' for my female Sim in a conversation with her husband
The day before this dream I was sitting in a classroom with my friend and he had a bag of biscuits to share. I said: 'I am not a fan of biscuits' and told him he didn't have a good selection (he hadn't bought them, he had got them from the communal kitchen, in case this sounds like I was rude to him!)
The day before this dream I tried to do a 'plank' on a table, but found I had insufficient upper body strength to balance in this way
Two days before this dream I had been discussing female body shapes with DL - after telling him that Cheryl Fernandez-Versini had ranted on social media about skinny-shaming and how it should be made illegal
I am currently undergoing training at work - which is within my university
The day before this dream, I met a new colleague who looked similar to RR - and we discussed elderly people as she is aiming to work with them in her career
The day of this dream DL had joked that a woman I met and described to him may be a lesbian who fancies me, which I denied
The day of this dream I had looked at a pair of earrings I own - pale green gem stones surrounded by fake diamonds and considered whether I should wear them or not - I decided not to
I have watched a Vice documentary on Youtube called 'Teenage Heroin Epidemic' (set in Swansea) in which one of the participants - who looked strikingly similar to RR related the sexual abuse she had suffered at the hands of her mother
Prior to sleeping I had watched some true crime documentaries - some of which referred to familial abuse of females by male relatives - I had also read a news article about sexual abuse of a girl by her elderly father and his eventual conviction after years of the system failing her
On 5 September 2015 I had Dream 494 in which I experienced a rape

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
Although this dream had a theme of familial sexual abuse, I did not experience it as a trauma-inducing or emotional dream. When I woke up, I didn't have any specifically negative or troubling thoughts of emotions linked to the content - I was more concerned about remembering the forgotten aspects of it, so was trying to focus my mind on the dream narrative as a whole and recall lost details

* I have forgotten some aspects of this dream - action which took place between Scenes 2 & 3. If I recall anything further, I will record it below.

Sunday, 6 September 2015

Dream 494

'Anal Rape in a Pub'

Dream date: 5 September 2015

Scene 1: PS's House, Edgware, London - Time Unknown
I was with PS in his house in London, although it looked different from real-life. His mum, CJS was present. PS was getting ready to go to university. There were some dream characters (male and female) present who were his peers and they were encouraging him to go with them, but PS was hesitant and wanted to stay with me. CJS was making biscuits in the kitchen.

Scene 2: The Crown Public House, Sheringham - Night
I was in The Crown pub in Sheringham - and it was filled with real-life local people and also dream characters, all drinking and enjoying themselves. I was standing by the bar, chatting to a 'friend' (not a real-life friends, but a male dream character - older than me, white with black hair). I cannot recall what we were talking about. Suddenly, this dream character's friend came over - he was also a dream character, not a real-life person. He was in his 50s and had scraggly grey hair and a beard. Without saying anything to me, he stood behind me and (I must have been wearing a skirt), put his hand into my butthole. This was so painful I screamed out and fell facedown on the floor. The dream character then got on top of me from behind and raped me anally.

I was crying out for help (and in pain), but no-one would do anything to help me. When it was over, I got up from the floor and asked the male I had been conversing with to help me, but he said: 'I can't, that's my friend!' I walked over to the corner of the pub (which looked slightly different from real-life). I saw SW and another male known to me in real-life (who I cannot remember). I asked if SW could help me - I asked if he could take me back to his house. He said he could not as the rapist was his friend. I was walking around the pub asking various local friends if they would help, but none would - they were all friends with the rapist. I found PP standing in the middle of the pub and he said he would help me. I then met my mum and told her, but her advice was not to take any action and just forget it happened.

I was holding a piece of paper which said: 'Trigger Event' which I knew referred to the rape incident and the fact I would be recording it on my online Dream Journal. I thought I should include the words 'Trigger Event' on my Blog post (I debated in my head whether 'Triggering Event' sounded better) in case any rape victims might read the dream and it trigger memories (i.e. reliving their own experiences as happens in post-traumatic stress disorder situations).

TIME: 19:00 - 00:50 hours (I woke up from this dream)

LUCIDITY: Pre-lucid - I was aware that I would be recording the rape incident in a Dream Journal (this Blog), which indicates I was semi-aware that this was a dream, not reality, although I did not become fully lucid

SPECIAL NOTES: NONE OF NOTE

Dream Information:

PS is my ex-boyfriend
SW is a male friend from school who lives in Sheringham - I am still in contact with him
PP is a male friend from Sheringham who I have known since I was about 13 years old - and PP was a number of years older than me, which made him seem 'cool' (he was pretty popular back then, so being friends with him and other older boys gave me and my school friends a bit of status). He is still a friend on Facebook

Dreamsigns:

PS's house looked different
The male (rapist) dream character's hand went into mybutthole
I was raped in a public place filled with friends - and no-one was willing to help me

Recurrent Dream Themes:

PS as a dream character
PS's house in London as a dream scene location
CJS and food linked in a dream
SW as a dream character

Potential Day/Dream Residue:

PS is starting university this month
The day before this dream I was watching true crime documentaries some of which included sex crimes
A few days before this dream a Facebook friend had said he didn't have any respect for women who won't have anal sex. I also read a recent magazine article about anal sex disaster stories from women who engage in this act. I have never had anal sex and never plan to as I am scared of the potential pain and the hygiene implications
I was sexually assaulted many years ago and a number of my friends know the man who did it because they socialise in the same circles (the real-life incident did not involve anal sex). I did not report the incident because I did not want to be involved in criminal proceedings which would divide my local community and social group (in a small town) or give evidence in court (because I was not psychologically prepared to do so) - by the time I opened up about the incident sufficient time had passed for me to have developed coping strategies
The day of this dream I was sexually harassed by a non-friend (a member of the Lucid Dreaming page I participate in) on Facebook. This male was removed from the page for his inappropriate sexual behaviour and I was asked to be a moderator for the page

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
This was a horrible dream - I was violated in it and I felt great physical pain. It also reminded me of a real-life incident - so I guess the dream was a 'trigger event' for me as well.

* I have forgotten some aspects of this dream (in relation to Scene 1 and a further part of the dream after Scene 2), but if I recall anything further, I will record it below.

Dream 493

'The End of the World'

Dream date: 4 September 2015

Scene 1: An Airplane - Time Unknown
I was in an airplane with some other people known to me in real-life, who I cannot recall. We were being told what will happen when the world will end - although there was no indication that the world was ending any time soon. I think the flight was just to teach us about the end of the world - rather than being transportation from one location to another.

The airplane flew so high that it was possible to see the Earth as a sphere - i.e. we went into space.

The information was being given to us via a screen, The presenter was a black female dream character. She explained that before the end of the world, humans would evolve so that they became 'one with the seasons' (i.e. adapt for the climate of each season). When she said this, her skin turned colour in the following sequence: green (Spring), red (Summer), purple (Autumn) and black (Winter). We would then join with technology to become 'superbeings'. She then said that if we looked out of the window now, we would see what the end of the world would look like. She described it as a 'horrifying nightmare'. Everyone looked out of the window, but I covered my eyes so I didn't witness it, as I thought ignorance was bliss in this situation and I did not want to be scared.

TIME: 20:00 - 08:00 hours (I am not sure when this dream took place)

LUCIDITY: NO

SPECIAL NOTES: NONE OF NOTE

Dreamsigns:

The whole scenario for this dream was an impossible situation

Recurrent Dream Themes:
None of note

Potential Day/Dream Residue:

The day before this dream DL had told me that some people still believe that the Earth is flat and that all photographs of the Earth (and other objects in space) have been photoshopped as part of an agenda by NASA - I said that these sceptical people could sign up for the Virgin Galactic space flight to see for themselves and DL said they would probably just argue (in the way conspiracy theorists do) that the curvature of the earth as seen from the windows was a projection onto a screen rather than being the true view from the windows
The day before this dream I had watched a Youtube video about what would happen if the Earth was consumed by a black hole
The day before this dream I watched a video narrated by a black female - who looked a lot like the female dream character in this dream - who was outlining the difference between institutional/structural and individual racism in order to dispel the myth of 'reverse racism'
In the days prior to this dream I had been playing Sims 3, which has the Seasons expansion pack included

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
I thought the scenario of this dream was incredibly scary, although it wasn't actually experienced as a nightmare. I also reacted in this dream exactly how I predict I would react if this happened in real-life.

Dream 492

'Yellow Staircase'

Dream date: 3 September 2015

Scene 1: My House, Norwich - Time Unknown
I was looking in my kitchen cupboard at a large pine cone (which is there in real-life - I collected it because of it's huge size). As I looked at it I thought: 'This isn't as big as I thought it was' - the dream version of it was more average in size than in real-life.

Scene 2: An Unknown City - Day
I was in a city (perhaps London) with some others - people I know in real-life, but I cannot remember who they were. I think my mum was there. We were on some kind of tour, being shown buildings of interest. We were shown one building on the high street which had ornate, posh decoration and furniture and a large red staircase. We were told (by the tour guide, I cannot remember anything about him/her) that this location was special because a celebrity (I cannot recall who) had visited it.

We then visited another building, which was similarly ornate. This one had a large yellow, curved staircase which led from the foyer up to the first floor. We were by the tour guide that this staircase was extra special because Kate Moss liked to regularly have her photograph taken on it.

TIME: 19:00 - 00:30 hours (I am not sure when this dream took place)

LUCIDITY: NO

SPECIAL NOTES: NONE OF NOTE

Dreamsigns:
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes:
None of note

Potential Day/Dream Residue:

I have read some recent news articles (in the week prior to this dream) about Kate Moss and her alleged split from musician husband Jamie Hince

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
I had no specific waking thoughts or emotions relating to this dream which was quite ordinary and banal.

Thursday, 3 September 2015

Dream 491 (MULTIPLE FALSE AWAKENINGS)

'Multiple False Awakenings'

Dream date: 2 September 2015

I woke up in my bed. My bedroom appeared as it did when I fell asleep - the light was off, but the door to my bedroom was opening, with the landing light turned on, illuminating my room. My laptop - showing a Youtube video selection page (the one at the end of a video, where it shows related videos) was beside my bed. The video selections appeared to be those which I had seen just before I went to sleep - thumbnails for serial killer and true crime documentaries. I was completely paralysed (sleep paralysis) and realised this was a false awakening. No matter how hard I tried, I could not move a single part of my body. Only my voice worked. I shouted: 'Move!' to try and prompt some movement which would allow me to get out of bed and transform this into a full lucid dream (this is known as the 'OBE-Exit Induction Technique'). I still could not move my body. I forced myself to wake up. I felt very tired.

I tried to fall back asleep, but as soon as I was falling asleep, I felt my body going back into sleep paralysis - vibrating and starting to sink into the bed. I was fighting it, but must have fallen asleep again - because I woke up in another false awakening. I looked around my room - and everything looked normal again. I was worried that because my bedroom door was open (in real-life and the lucid false awakening) that I might have bad thoughts which would trigger some nightmarish event to take place, especially as I had been watching documentaries about serial killers before I went to bed. I screamed: 'Wake up!' and tried to move. I could now just about move my right foot, and I forced myself (with will power) to wake up.

I tried to fall asleep again, but felt the sleep paralysis start. This was so frustrating. I had my third false awakening. I thought that I should just attempt the OBE-Exit technique, so tried to visualise a dream scene which did not work. I could not move from the sleep paralysis this time. I started calling out: 'Kurt!' because I hoped to invite the Kurt Cobain dream character into a lucid dream again, which would make it more pleasant - especially since my last lucid sex dream with Kurt Cobain (Dream 488) had been cut short. Nothing happened. I tried multiple times, but with no success. I decided to try and wake up. I woke up, but upon falling asleep again, found the sleep paralysis starting almost immediately, which scared me even more as I felt trapped in a cycle.

I had a fourth false awakening - paralysed again and completely unable to move or use my voice. I felt someone/something get into bed with me - on the side of the bed which is closest to the wall. I was terrified of who/what this might be. and woke myself up. I had to check I was fully awake, because this incident was so traumatising, even for me who has experienced natural false awakenings with sleep paralysis and fairly horrific hallucinations and night terrors since I was a small child. It was the fact that they kept occurring in a cycle which I was unable to escape. I decided to just get up and drink some coffee to wake up as I was too disturbed to try to go back to sleep.

On each occasion that these false awakenings occurred, I was fully lucid and my room looked completely normal - there was nothing odd, bizarre or different, even down to the Youtube screen on my laptop as mentioned above.

TIME: 19:00 - 23:30 hours (these false awakenings happened right at the end of this sleep cycle)

LUCIDITY: YES - Fully-lucid

SPECIAL NOTES: NONE OF NOTE

Pages

Tuesday, 15 September 2015

Monday, 14 September 2015

Thursday, 10 September 2015

Tuesday, 8 September 2015

Sunday, 6 September 2015

Thursday, 3 September 2015