Dream 596 (SHORT FALSE AWAKENING)

'Going to NYC x 4'

Dream date: 27 March 2016

This is Day 28 of my Dream Incubation Experiment. You can read the details and methodology of my latest Dream Incubation Experiment by clicking HERE. 

At the start of this dream I had a brief false awakening. I had been attempting to have a WILD (Wake-Initiated Lucid Dream) when I first fell asleep and had managed to start the process of hypnagogia and sleep paralysis. My body had started to feel heavy and disconnected, so that by focusing my mind from my body I was able to no longer perceive it. I must have fallen asleep, because I then 'woke up' to the sound of my doorbell - although the sound of the doorbell was a 'ding-dong' rather than the broken buzzer sound of my actual real-life doorbell. I thought (lucidly): 'This is a false awakening' - I used the sound of the doorbell, and the fact I had been writing on this topic just before I fell asleep, as a dreamsign. I then heard a noise - which sounded like claws scratching - coming from inside the built-in wardrobe at the bottom of my bed, and felt worried about what hallucination I might experience. I must have fallen back to sleep properly again, because I then entered a normal non-lucid dream.

Scene 1: An Interior Scene (Location Unknown) - Time Unknown
I was in an interior scene with NN, my friend from school. We were trying to dress Barbie dolls. I picked up a skirt - a black and white tartan mini-skirt, which resembles one I own in real-life, but which no longer fits me. Now it was Barbie-size and the act of dressing the Barbie 'represented' me dressing myself. I thought that the skirt would be too small for the Barbie, but I was surprised to find that I could pull it up over her hips and fasten the buttons at the back, meaning that it did fit. I felt happy.

Scene 2: An Interior Scene (Location Unknown) - Time Unknown
I was then with 2 young adult female dream characters - one was Caucasian with brown hair (name unrecalled) and the other was Chinese and her name was 'Morag'. Both these females were my friends in the dream. Morag in particular wanted to be a stand-up comedian or actress and was hoping to get 'her big break' soon. All of her acts revolved around her doing a monologue about her ill health - she just had a viral infection or the flu, but every single piece of comedy or acting she did involved her sitting on a chair, tilting her head back and crying because she felt unwell and 'needed a tissue!' (she would scream this line out at the audience). 

Scene 3: 'New York' (actually: High Street, Sheringham) - Day
I was then told by my Mum that she had a friend who would let me use her 'studio' in New York to work in. The 'studio' in New York would be empty for half of the week because my Mum's friend (in the dream) worked as an actress with a big show, and had to travel to do gigs. I was very excited by the prospect of visiting New York regularly. 

My Mum's friend 's New York studio was actually located in Sheringham High Street. It was where my Mum's real-life friend, MF2 used to work, in a small lingerie shop called 'Bloomers' (see Google Street View image, below). The studio was relatively the same (very small) size of the shop, but it also had an open fireplace in it. I found myself sitting by the fireplace, performing a task related to my use of the 'studio' (I am not sure what it was, but it was a creative task). At some point in the evening, I decided to 'travel back' to the UK from 'New York'. This journey was just a short car journey. 

Scene 4: My Nan's House (Sheringham) - Day
I returned to my Nan's house. EB and another male dream character were there waiting for me. We were in a room which was not one that exists in the house in real-life. EB forced the other male to leave so that he could be alone with me, but I was not happy. I was aware that EB was 'trying to win me over'. He took off all of his clothes and I found that his mid-section (torso) was wrapped in silver tape. He was wearing blue tartan boxer shorts and was getting ready to have a shower - there was a shower in the room we were in. He started to profess his love for me, but I didn't want to hear it. I definitely did not want to have sex with him, and this seemed to be the implication - that he wanted me to shower with him and have some kind of sexual relationship. I was refusing and he was trying to plead with me to stay with him there, at my Nan's house. EB then showered alone. I decided that it might be easier to stay there with EB, but wondered if I could get RBA to come along instead (EB and RBA used to be friends when they both lived in my local area - i.e. before RBA moved back to Scotland). EB and I then went into my Nan's back garden and EB was excited and happy. Seeing him in this mood made my hostility towards him cool a little and I started to enjoy his company more. This felt significant in the dream.

Scene 5: 'New York' (actually: High Street, Sheringham) - Day
I decided that I had to leave to go back to the New York studio, and I found myself there. It was daytime, but quite dark outside. I looked out of the window and saw that the town clock (see image) was now made of some kind of brown rocks or ice - as was the street around it. No cars could use this section of the road anymore - it was pedestrian only. The purpose of this new town clock was to get people to stand there, naked in the street, so they could be 'liberated'. A male dream character was standing, arms raised, completely naked outside the town clock. I thought that I would love to experience this 'liberation' and decided to go out and take my clothes off too. I walked out of the shop, which was only a couple of metres away from the town clock (as it is in real-life). I noticed that the naked dream character male - now dressed - was my American Facebook friend, SS, who I care about a lot. I was so pleased to meet him and was excited. I told SS that I now had a studio in New York so could hang out with him regularly. SS also seemed pleased and excited by this prospect and we hugged.  My Mum then appeared in the doorway of 'the studio' and said we had to leave. I discovered it was night. I thought: 'I left my phone in the studio [I could picture it beside the fireplace]...I bet it's been stolen!' However, when I went into the studio, to collect my belongings, I found my phone was exactly where I left it and was relieved. 

My Mum and I then drove (my Mum driving, me in the passenger seat) up to the top of the town, by the roundabout - as if we were going to my Nan's house. See the image from Google Streetview, below - and note the railings on the left of the picture. When we reached this part of town, my Mum informed me that I could not use the New York studio anymore, as her friend had to end her tour early because she didn't have enough entertainers to perform. She would be returning to use her studio full-time. I looked at the railings (to my left) and saw my Mum's friend behind them, surrounded by what looked like a huge billboard with flashing lights, advertising her show. The friend said (so that we could hear this from inside the car): 'I haven't got an impressionist for my act...' - I looked and noted that my right of the billboard was an empty space for the photograph of the impressionist. I said (to my Mum and her friend at the same time, as we were just parked by the railing, or waiting in traffic, so not moving): 'My friend Morag could be the impressionist!' My Mum and her friend thought this was a great idea and agreed that Morag should go on tour with the friend. I then saw a scene of Morag performing her 'illness' sketch while sitting on a chair, her head tilted backwards, while she wailed: 'I want a tissueeeeeeeeeeee!' This act was very successful and I felt overjoyed to have solved the problem for my Mum's friend and maintained my access to the New York studio. 

Scene 6: The Kitchen in my House (Norwich) - Day
I was then with my Mum and a number of male (unrecalled) dream characters in my kitchen in my house in Norwich. I was leaning on the work surface, with the males standing nearby. My Mum was crouching on the floor. I told the males: 'I've been to New York 3 times this week'. The males (I think there were 3 - 4 of them) were denying this was possible and telling me that there was no way I could have gone to New York that many times in one week. I looked to my Mum to back me up. She raised one hand and counted on her fingers, saying: '1, 2, 3, 4 - she's been to New York 4 times this week already!' The males seemed to accept that my Mum was telling the truth and I felt vindicated. 

Scene 7: An Interior Scene (Location Unknown) - Day
I was then with my Mum, EB and some other male dream characters. We were going to present a model we had made - a scale model of a house/building. I was holding this, and was apprehensive, because it was made simply of paper and was very fragile and I thought I might break it somehow. We were standing in front of a table. There was nothing much going on in my field of vision, but I was aware of some action happening behind me, as we were in a busy room. My Mum told me to be careful with the paper house. I then placed it down on the table, but the table was wet with water, and the paper house absorbed the water, became wet and collapsed slightly. I was annoyed and shouted: 'I don't want the responsibility for this anymore!' My Mum was surprisingly OK about the fact I ruined the paper house model (even though there was the implication that we were to present it for some form of judging or competition). She didn't seem annoyed with me. One of the males then showed my Mum a 'double-ended cigarette' and my Mum was fascinated by this 'new invention' (even though she doesn't smoke anymore). 

I cannot recall anything else about this dream, but I feel that I may have forgotten some of the details.

TIME: 22:30 - 07:30 hours (I woke up from this dream)

LUCIDITY: LUCID DURING FALSE AWAKENING

SPECIAL NOTES: NONE OF NOTE

Dream Information:

• Just prior to going to sleep, I had been writing an article on hypnagogia, false awakenings and sleep paralysis. I also attempted to induce a WILD lucid dream
• EB is my former male best friend

Dreamsigns:

• My skirt was now Barbie size, and dressing the Barbie represented me trying to dress myself
• The 'studio' in 'New York' was actually in a shop in Sheringham High Street - a shop which is no longer there in real-life. The town clock in Sheringham was now an area where you could stand naked in the middle of the street. 'New York' was a short car journey away from Sheringham, in the UK
• My Nan's house appeared differently in the dream
• I met my American Facebook friend, SS
• The scene with my Mum's friend and the giant billboard at the roundabout, Sheringham

Recurrent Dream Themes:

• The concept of thinking clothes will not fit and then finding that they actually do - see Dream 594 - 'Going to America!'
• America - which appears to be Norfolk in the dream - see Dream 594 - 'Going to America!'
• EB is a ginger male who was wrapped in silver tape - like the Chucky Doll in my previous dream - see Dream 592 - 'Don't F*ck with the Chuck!' in which a male friend who I was angry with in the dream (thought to represent EB, based on my associating him visually with Chucky) and I wrapped the Chucky Doll up in electrical/masking tape to keep it safe
• A huge billboard - see Dream 594 - 'Going to America!'

Potential Day/Dream Residue:

• Themes from my previous dream, Dream 594 - 'Going to America!' seem to have influenced this one - including clothes which seem like they may not fit, and going to 'America', but 'America' being a seaside town, like areas I am familiar with in Norfolk
• A ginger male wrapped in tape mirrors what happened in Dream 592 - 'Don't F*ck with the Chuck!'
• Several days before this dream SS had told me that he was going to move to New York and would eventually like to come to the UK - and meet me!
• The day of this dream I watched an episode of The Office (S02E01) in which David Brent (Ricky Gervais) makes a bad joke about how his parents 'had a paper shop until it blew away' - note that the shop, Bloomers, which appeared in my dream was owned by the same family who also owned 'the paper shop' (i.e. the newsagents) next door
• The day before this dream I had been watching an episode of Human Remains (S01E06 - 'More than Happy') in which Rob Brydon and Julia Davis play a weird couple who have moved to Brighton (a seaside resort) and run an unsuccessful shop - which sells ladies' lingerie, but has no customers

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:

This dream was not related to my Dream Incubation Experiment. 

However, it was really interesting to experience a false awakening just after writing about the topic and having an unsuccessful WILD experience. I had written in my article about how failed WILD lucid dreams often trigger a false awakening. I had also written about the common auditory hallucination of hearing a doorbell while in the hypnagogic state. The rest of the dream was also interesting, as it seemed to involve a lot of recent recurrent dreamsigns, although I did not recognise these within the dream. 

I found this dream really enjoyable and it felt significant when I woke up from it.

* I think that I may have forgotten some aspects of this dream. If I recall anything else later, I will record it below.

Dream 595 (NSFW)

'Trying to Win Back the Ex'

Dream date: 26 March 2016

This is Day 27 of my Dream Incubation Experiment. You can read the details and methodology of my latest Dream Incubation Experiment by clicking HERE. 

Scene 1: An Interior Scene (Location Unknown) - Time Unknown

I am not sure whether this dream took place all in one place, or in multiple locations, as it was not clear in the dream. The one scene I do remember was an interior of a house. It was a normal house, which wasn't exactly modern, but may have just had some retro features, as it reminded me a little of a 1970's style interior - the furniture, smoked glass and light wood, and the fact everything was in brown, orange and green colours. It was quite an attractive house.

In the first scene I was with an unrecalled dream character and my Mum was making us food to eat - it seemed to be ice cream sundaes, as the food was presented in tall, cut glass ice cream dishes. The ice cream was in fact an image of a galaxy in the sky - stars and other cosmic bodies. We were eating the ice cream galaxies with long spoons. I am not sure what they tasted like - maybe just ice cream!

There was a reference to education and textbooks. I am not sure what it was. This took place in the same location in which we were eating the ice cream. 

I then heard/discovered from someone that my ex, PS and his male friend, LRB (see Dream Information, below) had been 'showing flowers' to a group of girls. I felt jealous and wanted to see PS myself.

The interior scene seemed to also be where PS lived - his family (not his family in real-life, just dream characters - all female and white, despite the fact PS, his elder half-brother (different father) and one of his younger sisters are all mixed-race). They were sitting at a breakfast bar in the living-room/kitchen area of the house.

PS and I went off into a different room. We laid down on the ground and it appeared that we were naked. There was a lot of heat and sweat, and our bodies were intertwining in an erotic way, although there was no sexual acts that I could identify. The position we were laying in could be described as 'a 69'.

PS then wanted me to give him a blowjob (oral sex). His 'penis' was the size of my leg - or bigger - really long and wide. I could not put my mouth around it, so I was reduced to just licking it up and down the shaft, which in itself was hard work, as I was still laying on the ground, and the penis was at least 1 meter long. Suddenly, lots of black, waxy slime came dripping down PS' penis. PS was (breathless, in sexual pleasure), saying: 'Lick it! Lick it!' meaning that he wanted me to lick up the black slime. It had a bitter taste and I didn't like it, but wanted to pleasure PS. I thought: 'If I give him the best blowjob he has ever had, he will get back together with me', so I continued to do so, putting in lots of effort. I am not sure what PS was doing to me at this time, I had no sexual pleasure or arousal from the situation whatsoever. I was shocked and disgusted by the size of his penis and the black slime dripping down it, which became huge globules which collected on the shaft if I did not lick them away in time.

I was then standing, with a huge piece of paper (about A2) and a pencil. I wanted to write a note to PS to try and win him back. I used the pencil to write a long letter to him, the essence of which was stating I would be a better girlfriend than I had been and that I would not get jealous of the girls he was 'showing flowers' to (with LRB). My writing resembled that of a child - very messy and uneven - but I am not sure if I was writing in real words or if my writing was typical of the kind of distorted 'dream speech' in which real words are supplemented for weird dream ones. I knew that I could read and understand what I wrote, because I 'checked' the letter after I finished and then drew a flower on it. I took this letter through to find PS' 'family' were still sitting around the breakfast bar in the house - having just finished a meal. I showed them all the letter I had written to PS and said: 'I'll never be jealous again'. No-one wanted to see me get back with PS, but his 'sister' (in the dream) said: 'He'll end up falling for that'.

I cannot recall what else happened in this dream. I woke up.

TIME: 22:00 - 09:30 hours (I woke up from this dream)

LUCIDITY: NO

SPECIAL NOTES: NONE OF NOTE

Dream Information:

• PS and I ended our romantic relationship a number of years ago, but retained communication and contact, which is never advisable if there are still unresolved issues or emotions. I made the decision to just leave him to follow his education, career and relationships without me being in the background. Who knows what will happen, as other than just one of my exes who I don't speak to - I am in contact with all of my exes (even SL, who I dated at the age of 18 years)
• I am not even sure if PS and LRB (another hip hop artist) are still in regular contact, but their friendship did impact on our relationship when we were together as PS would spend the entire night, several times a week at LRB'S flat, leaving me alone in PS' family home, where I lived with him in London. It used to annoy me that PS would go round to LRB's house at, say 22:00 hours and not return to 05:00 hours, meaning if I had manage to get to sleep, with my insomnia, he would disturb me when he came in. I was also suffering from mental health problems (to the extent of feeling suicidal almost daily) at this time, and him going out several times a week to just sit around LRB's flat with LRB's female friends (who would go round to smoke cannabis) made me feel abandoned and lonely, and reflected in my anxiety responses and frequency of panic attacks. I often wondered why he needed to go out to LRB's to do the exact same things he would be doing at home anyway. I was always told I could go with PS, but it just seemed like LRB would rather have PS there by himself, so I'd save my dignity and say I had writing to do instead. That is partially how this Blog came into existence! LRB is mutual friends with a lot of my Facebook friends, and - like PS admitted to me subsequently - he is argumentative and unable to see things from other people's viewpoints, meaning he is often coming into conflict with other people and becoming hostile in the way he expresses himself. I have to add here: I do not hold any residual blame in relation to PS and what I have described here. It was my responsibility to look after my own mental and emotional health, and if I felt trapped, it was because I was living a reckless and damaging lifestyle in London, when I should have taken control earlier and moved back to Norfolk. PS made me very happy and was a brilliant boyfriend, who - despite never being able to express my affections well - I will always love very much. He will never know how deep my feelings for him were, because I never ever said 'I love you' to him during the course of our 4 year relationship, as that isn't the type of person I am. I wish I had been a softer person, rather than constantly seeing myself as a warrior having to wage battle against something which was going wrong in life. If you focus too much on the negatives, negativity slowly becomes part of your character, your behaviour and the way you interact with others. The problems in our relationship never originated from PS himself, just all the chaos and disorder which surrounded us, and dragged us in. My biggest regret is not making it clear what an outstanding man I think he is

Dreamsigns:

• The ice cream was space - galaxies and cosmic bodies
• PS's family were different to real-life
• The size, dimensions and actions of PS' penis

Recurrent Dream Themes:

• Galaxies and stars in the night sky - see Dream 594 - 'Going to America!'
• Eduction and schooling - see Dream 594 - 'Going to America!'

Potential Day/Dream Residue:

• My previous dream, Dream 594 - 'Going to America!' may have influenced the content of this dream - thinking about writing down the details of my previous dream may have made it become 'day residue'

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:

This dream was not related to my Dream Incubation Experiment. 

I did not really like this dream - I am not prudish and am very open about my sexuality and sex life. I would not be ashamed to perform a sexual act on a current or previous sexual partner, let alone in a dream where it is part of a subconscious imagining - and perhaps based on a memory of doing the same act in real-life. However, the fact I was trying so desperately to get back together with my ex, and giving him oral sex (which felt disgusting in the dream) seemed like my best option to convince him - as well as writing apology letters promising to behave differently - all felt wrong. I am a strong independent woman and over the years I have come to accept that sometimes relationships or friendships end and to save your dignity or emotional well being you have to accept situations you have no control over and move on. In this dream I felt weakened and desperate, like I had to 'prove myself' which is not something I would be willing to do in my real-life. I just didn't feel like 'me in this dream. 

The dream also made me think about a previous relationship on a deeper level than I perhaps wanted to. Although I have come to terms with my previous relationships, and moved on, thinking specifically about my relationship with PS is the one which hurts the most, because this relationship took place when I was very unwell from bipolar disorder, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks and anxiety, which all but obliterated my ability to live a normal day-to-day existence without something causing drama or chaos. My greatest fear was being sectioned (held under a Mental Health Act order, so I could be restrained from leaving a hospital), and so I felt like I was constantly 'fighting' treatment and medical attention rather than getting the right help. I tried various medications, but the side effects meant I never lasted the course with any of them. I smoked cannabis constantly, and drank alcohol regularly, but didn't even think to reduce either for my own well-being, because they were a form of self-medication on one hand, and on the other - well, our entire social circle did the same and those of us who weren't in employment (PS ran his own business from home and I was a student) just did these things because we lived on a London council estate and it killed the time and gave us something to do. 

PS was 6 years younger than me as well - although had been encouraged to adopt the role of 'man of the house' from his childhood years, so was very mature and responsible. However, I managed to discount the pressures and influences on him from his environment and peers, and almost 'judge' him for sometimes acting like a 'roadman' or average 20-something young man in an urban council estate and at those times, I wouldn't see the bigger picture and value the aspects of him which transcended the not-so-desirable aspects of our relationship. 

This dream made me think back to a past life, which I do not want to forget, but want to categorise as a valuable past experience, which no longer defines who I am. I think the dream made me re-evaluate the aspects of myself which contributed to the breakdown of our relationship, and this coupled with the dream forcing me to try to 'win' PS back with sexual acts made me feel like I was prostituting myself over issues which should remain in the past. It's almost like my dream was taunting me, saying: 'You still have feelings about these things...' and wanted me to either feel guilt about my own actions, or try to find guilt in PS's actions. I would rather have not had this particular dream.

* I may have forgotten some aspects of this dream. If I recall anything else later, I will record it below.

Dream 594

'Going to America!'

Dream date: 24 March 2016

This is Day 25 of my Dream Incubation Experiment. You can read the details and methodology of my latest Dream Incubation Experiment by clicking HERE. 

This entire dream was one big confusion as I am not sure if it was a single dream which took place at one time, or several dreams. My only clue that it was a single dream comes from the fact that there was a female dream character who appeared in multiple dream scenes.

Scene 1: An Interior Scene (Location Unknown) - Time Unknown

I was in an interior location and I was discussing a dream I had experienced earlier - it wasn't a 'real' dream, it was a dream within a dream, but I did not experience 'dreaming' it - just the fact it had previously happened. The dream within a dream was just an image of stars in a night sky. Present while I was discussing 'the dream' was a mature female dream character (unknown in real-life) and my Mum and Nan. 

Scene 2: A School - Time Unknown

Without leaving to to go anywhere, I found that I was in a school area - there was a desk where students (some of whom were people I had attended high school with) were handing in just-completed assignments. The teacher was the mature female dream character from the previous scene. I had just handed in my Psychology and Art coursework. I then saw JF - a girl I went to high school with, who was extremely unacademic and badly behaved at school, and just wanted to start having babies as soon as she became a teenager (which is what she and her sisters in fact did). She was handing in English and History coursework. I then realised that I had not been able to study English and History, 2 subjects I was very good at. I asked the teacher why I had not taken these classes, as I wanted these qualifications. The teacher told me that there had been no space in the class for these subjects and I could just enrol for them now, for the new school term. My Mum came over and asked if it would be possible for me to repeat a year of my education so that I could take English and History, and then graduate the following year. The teacher said that this would be possible. I was annoyed that I could not take these subjects the first time around, as I was the 'star pupil' and would have got the highest grades in the class.

Scene 3: An Interior Scene (Location Unknown) - Time Unknown

I was in an interior scene which I am unable to describe, as I recall very little about it. My Mum and Nan were there, as was the female dream character. I was packing a suitcase, but all my clothes were those I would have worn as a teenager - extremely baggy, grungy clothes influenced by the fact I used to skateboard and go to a lot of hardcore/screamo shows. The clothes were mainly long baggy shorts. I wondered if they still fit me. I picked up a pair of mustard-coloured denim shorts and tried to put them on. At first it seemed that they were too small in size, but then I thought: 'I always used to buy clothes several sizes too big' and noticed that indeed, the shorts did fit me and were very loose and baggy on the waist and hips. I wondered if I could still dress this way, but realised I could not. As a teenager, I used to wear my trousers/shorts very low, so they fell below, or halfway down my butt - as a fully grown woman, with a large butt (which also gets a lot of male attention, due to the popularisation of 'big booty'), I could not wear such fashion items and they did not flatter me. I did not change out of the shorts (but I also do not remember if I continued wearing them) and continued to pack the suitcase. 

There was some reference to cannabis - I may have found some in my suitcase, or been given some - I cannot recall. I do remember the cannabis scene definitely happened at the same time I was packing my suitcase. 

The female dream character then showed me a copy of Heat magazine (a very popular UK celebrity-based magazine - the most popular of its kind). On the 'Spotted' section, I saw a picture of my ex-boyfriend, SL, out at night drinking. In the photo, his he wa standing in the street and had his head tilted back. I wondered if SL was now a celebrity. It wasn't clear. I was then shown some more pictures in the same magazine, by the mature dream character. She flicked through the pages of the magazine while I was still holding it, and then pointed to the picture she wanted me to look at. This picture was also taken at night. It showed a pavement which was made of grey concrete and was sloped like a very steep hill. The photograph was taken from the top of the hill, looking down. It appeared to be a street. At the bottom of the hill were some broken metal railings. Halfway up the hill, a group of people I went to high school with, were posing for the photograph. One of them was CM, a boy who is on my Facebook. I said to the female dream character, showing me the photo: 'I recognise that place' to which she said: 'Of course you do, it's Sheringham' (it wasn't a real-life place in Sheringham). I doubted whether it really was Sheringham.

I decided to send a message on Facebook to RBA. I used my mobile phone to find my Facebook friends on chat. I only ever have my chat showing me as 'online' to 2 friends - DL and RBA (the only 2 people I am happy to get a message from at any time, hence why I appear offline to my 1,000+ other friends on Facebook). Neither of the 2 contacts shown in my chat contacts were DL or RBA, and this confused me. The 2 friends shown were random names. I searched specifically for RBA, found his profile, and messaged him. I am not sure what my message said.

Scene 4: A House (Location Unknown Initially) - Day

I was then in a house with the mature female dream character. The house resembled that of my Mum's friend, CC (a guest house in Sheringham), especially the back garden. The female dream character was renovating/redecorating the house - or at least assessing the house so she could do so, later. There were other dream characters - I think the inhabitants of the house - present. I cannot recall anything about them, but there was conversation between them and the female dream character. When it was time to leave, the female and I went outside, into the garden. The sky was dark and grey - it was day, but looked like a storm was coming. We were going to leave via the back gate, which would take us into the residents' parking lot. I saw that the 3 - 4 concrete steps down from the back entrance to the patio were in a weird formation - they zigzagged and had red arrows painted on them to show where to place your foot. Each stair was narrow (only about the width of an average adult foot) and therefore, these steps seemed dangerous. I was glad I didn't have to navigate them (I was already standing in the back garden, watching the female dream character descend). I wondered where we were, and she said to me (as if reading my mind): 'We're in America'. 

We got into a car and started driving - the female in the driving sear on the right and me in the passenger seat, on the left. We were on a long, winding road. It was still day, but the sky seemed brighter now, and not stormy. There were many dream characters, and it seemed like a tourist area. On either side of the road were pavements (sidewalks) where these dream characters were walking. On one side (my right), were huge billboards, which stretched high into the sky and extended the entire length of the road. The billboards were only coloured red and white and had the same adverts repeated: for fast-food establishments and electrical goods shops. On my left was the sea/beach and other seaside tourist attractions. I wondered if this was really America, as it did not 'look like America' to me. 

It became night suddenly, and we were still driving down this road. The road was filled with a number of dream characters, all standing in the way of the traffic, which was coming from both directions. Directly ahead of us were 3 young males (teenagers), who were playing in the road, carelessly, and did not seem to be moving out of the way of the car. The female dream character pressed a large button on the dashboard of her car (which said 'Brown' and was printed in brown lettering) and told me: 'We just have to run them down' - preceding to drive straight through the boys in the road, killing them. I wondered if we would get into trouble for this hit-and-run, but the female dream character seemed unconcerned and I quickly decided that everything was fine.

Scene 5: Meeting Room at Work, University (Norwich) - Day
I was then in a work meeting for my university job - present were all the colleagues on my team and my boss, DT. DT had a brochure. The brochure had been designed by the residents of B6, a block which my friend DC supervises. The brochure was printed in pink and white and had photographs in it. DT explained that B6 students had come up with ideas of how to improve the environment inside residences, and one of these ideas was that an SR (my colleagues and I are known as SRs) should cook them a group meal every night. DC protested - as SR for this block. It would be a massive commitment. I said: 'I could do it...' and DC started to say something along the lines of: 'But you cook foreign food', so I interrupted and said: 'I cook one-pot dishes which would be ideal'. Our boss, DT said: 'Yes, that would be perfect' and I said: 'I'd make spaghetti bolognese and curry and stew...' (listing the foods I thought would appeal most to British palettes). DT was excited and clapping his hands at the prospect that I would become the 'in-residence cook' for B6.

I cannot recall what else happened in this dream. I woke up.

TIME: 22:00 - 07:40 hours (I woke up from this dream)

LUCIDITY: PRE-LUCID

SPECIAL NOTES: NONE OF NOTE

Dream Information:

• My only non-European holiday was when I went to New York with SL in 2004
• The 'hill' (which appeared in the photograph in Scene 3  was a lot like my experience of the streets of Glasgow, which to me - coming from the flattest county in the UK - were like insurmountable mountains which had to be climbed or descended carefully and seemed to appear every few steps, making walking around very tiring and precarious (to me). I had said to RBA that I didn't know how any Glaswegian could cope dealing with the hills in the city centre, especially women in high heeled shoes)
• House B6 has experienced a number of very serious issues within it this academic year

Dreamsigns:

• Seeing an image of stars in a night sky represented the fact I had had a dream (within my actual dream)
• The photograph of 'Sheringham' did not seem like it was really located there - an awareness I also had in the dream
• We drove into 3 boys playing in the middle of the road, killing them

Recurrent Dream Themes:

• Cannabis
• A brochure

Potential Day/Dream Residue:

• Stars in a night sky are associated in my mind with dreaming, as I use an image of such for the background of my Blog
• The day before this dream I had been telling DL about my former Art teacher and how he had tried to persuade me to study Art further, after high school, and how he wanted to give me the Art prize for my high school achievements, but had been pressured to give it to another student, who was going to continue to study Art in higher education, bearing in mind I had been awarded achievement awards in all of my other main subjects, and the student to win Art was one of the highest achieving students, but had not won any awards herself, which made it more fair for her to win at least one. The Art teacher had told my Mum I was his best student, because I had a conceptual and aesthetic brain. I went on to study English, History, Psychology and Theatre & Film Studies at A-level, hence the subjects referred to in this dream. 
• The day before this dream I overheard a conversation between 2 female students - one was saying: 'This is my second time doing first year [at university]'
• The day before this dream, JP had told me that my friend LD2 had retroactively intercalated on his postgraduate, meaning he would graduate later than initially planned, but be able to remain working on campus
• The day before this dream, DL and I had been discussing the clothing I used to dress in as a teenager. I had also thought that I should go to my Nan's house and clear out all my old clothes from storage that I will no longer wear. I started this process a while ago, but it was too much work. I had also been telling JP, separately, about 2 days before this dream that I would be unable to fit in a lot of clothes that I have in storage, so should just throw them out
• The day before this dream I had watched an episode of Ricky Gervais' Extras - S02E01 -  where the guest celebrity star, Orlando Bloom is looking at his own photograph and says words to the effect of: 'Everyone reads Heat'
• Once, about 6 years ago, SL randomly offered to take me out for a meal. I had not seen him for a number of years prior to this, so it was out of the blue. In short, it was because of a bet which I had made with him when we were university undergraduates (so in about 2000 - 2003). The prize for winning the bet was to be taken out for a meal by the loser. I had bet that a person we both knew would train to be a doctor in the future, and he had bet that this person would not be able to complete medical training. I won the bet - and SL had seen the person post about their graduation, hence him contacting me to fulfil his obligation to buy me the meal. We went to a Japanese restaurant in Camden and while in there, I saw Nikki Grahame, a contestant on Big Brother, Series 7 (2006) - note I had a dream which related to Big Brother, the day before this dream: see Dream 593 - 'You Don't Inject Cannabis'. In the restaurant toilets, Grahame had been talking on her mobile phone and was in a complete state, screaming and crying hysterically, very clearly distressed by something. I had said to SL that we should contact Heat's 'Spotted Section' as this was the first celebrity I had actually recognized while living in London - I subsequently decided not to, given that Grahame had been in such an upset state and had been trying to hide away in the toilets, which didn't really make it fair for me to try and profit off her distress. Note also, that Grahame suffered a childhood in hospital as a result of an extremely serious case of anorexia nervosa - one of the worst witnessed by her doctors - which had been publicized
• On the day before this dream, DL and I had talked about my ex-boyfriend (SL) in the context of a wider conversation - I mentioned how he loved eating a diverse range of foods and would also drink heavily (and always had). I think the conversation was about metabolism and health and how some people can eat/drink what they want and stay relatively healthy, whereas others - like DL's friend, also referred to in the conversation, have to make better lifestyle and diet choices because of the negative impact on their health. In the course of this same conversation I referred to Kate Moss and said that although she was skinny, I did not understand why she had been demonized in the media as promoting eating disorders, because she wasn't underweight and is clearly a very naturally slim woman, like my cousin HM (who, as a child, resembled the adult Nikki Grahame - both had long straight blonde hair and doll-like facial features) - I believe this conversation cemented the elements of SL, Heat magazine and drinking alcohol into a dream narrative
• In the same conversation described above, I had mentioned my friend, JL (a former colleague at my university job) - who is African-American and has a similar body shape to SL (this was the context in which we were discussing him)
• The day of this dream DL and I had been playing a 'thought game' where we were pretending to be producers for a new UK-based soap opera which had to be set in a seaside town - we were describing the premise and which actors we would hire to play the main roles
• I dreamed of a brochure which was part of a police crime report in Dream 592 - 'Don't F*ck with the Chuck!'. In my university job, writing reports is one of our main duties. In a conversation with JP, I had mentioned that Security (who also write reports) are often ex-police officers and probably write reports very much like police write witness statements (I read a lot of police witness statements and reports in my work within Criminal Law) 
• DL, RBA, DT and DC all have the same first name!

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:

This dream was not related to my Dream Incubation Experiment - although there was an act of killing 3 males all at the same time, However, I was not responsible for their deaths and it wasn't within the context of a serial killing. This was a very weird dream - I cannot put it into words, but the entire dream had a very strange feel about it, like I was anticipating something happening, or waiting in some respect. Also, the fact that many of the scenes took place at night (or involved photographs depicting night) or in very grey, stormy day time weather, felt quite claustrophobic or depressing in a way which I also cannot describe. I woke up with this dream firmly on my mind and causing me confusion as to why it felt negative and significant at the same time.

* I may have forgotten some aspects of this dream. If I recall anything else later, I will record them below.

Dream 593

'You Don't Inject Cannabis'

Dream date: 23 March 2016

This is Day 24 of my Dream Incubation Experiment. You can read the details and methodology of my latest Dream Incubation Experiment by clicking HERE. 

Scene 1: An Interior Scene (Location Unknown) - Time Unknown

I'm not really sure where this dream took place, other than it was an interior. The dream was experienced from within this interior, and involved action in the room I was in, and also on a screen I was watching, but it wasn't always clear which dream characters were in the room with me, or which ones were on the screen. 

I was watching a TV show which seemed to be based around the concept of Big Brother - other than the contestants pictured on the screen, the only colour I could see was white - so I think the contestants were laying on a white sheet. They were all naked, or partially covered with white sheets, and were laying in a big, entwined pile, none of them really moving. I was with some dream characters watching this 'show' (there was no action). I pointed at one white male with black hair and said to the dream characters watching with me: 'That's my friend' (he wasn't someone I know in real-life). I then became aware that this 'friend' would be joining us later. 

I noticed that the room I was in had computers and seemed like an IT room at a school or university,  but it wan't. My Nan was present. Some events/conversations took place, but I cannot recall what. My memory is very unclear. 

I then discovered that I had several bags of cannabis, and that the male friend I had watched on the screen had been and brought them for me. I was pleased, as there was a large quantity (well, a large quantity for a recreational smoker to get for free - maybe an ounce or so). The bags were all wrapped in different coloured scraps of polythene shopping bag, which had been ripped down to size, so the various cannabis amounts could be contained within them, with the tops of the plastic tied. This is a common way to wrap individual 'draws' if the dealer doesn't have baggies. The plastic bags were orange, grey and white. I noticed at this point, that I had been taking the wraps of cannabis from a khaki canvas bag on the floor, by my chair, and I looked inside the bag and found more and more cannabis there. Someone (I cannot recall who) said to me: 'He left all of that for you...' and I was pleased. The 'he' was still the 'friend' I had watched on the screen, although I cannot recall him coming into the room and delivering the bag of cannabis wraps at any point (maybe I forgot this part of the dream, or maybe it was just the way the dream logic worked). 

There was a female dream character in the room. I don't think I had been specifically aware of her before, although there had been a number of people in there, using computers or just talking and chilling out together, so she may have been there the whole time. She was white, with long blonde-brown, straight hair, with a very long, blunt fringe. She was tall and very skinny. She reminded me of a friend from school, AP, but it was not her. My Nan was nearby. The female dream character said to my Nan: 'You have to inject cannabis'. This really upset my Nan, who then accused me of injecting drugs. I said to my Nan: 'No! You smoke it! You've seen me do it!' I had a real-life memory of this, which my dreaming mind was able to access - see Dream Information, below.

My Nan was panicking and would not listen to me. She kept saying: 'Injecting drugs makes you a junkie!' I was saying: 'You smoke it, not inject it!' 

I then went up to the female dream character who was still sitting, using a computer. I took hold of her shoulders (standing behind her) and shook her very violently, screaming: 'Tell my Nan the truth!' The female seemed nervous and shy, but was refusing to tell the truth. I said: 'I'll show you then!' and reached over her to use the computer. I uploaded onto the screen a picture of cannabis leaves - or a number of cannabis plants (the image filled the screen and it was just a very close up image of green plants). I was still screaming, very angry, pointing at the computer screen, saying: 'You fucking smoke this, not inject it!' I got the impression that the female - who was not saying anything - wasn't of a normal intelligence level and didn't understand what trouble she had caused. I said: 'Are you going to tell the truth?' and kept asking her this, but she wasn't responding. I was poking the screen with my finger, angrily, while trying to make her tell the truth to my Nan. This scene seemed to be repetitive and long, and it was frustrating, because the female was just not seeming to engage with what I was saying. I grabbed her shoulders again, and started shaking her violently. She began to cry - loud sobbing. I could not see her face, as I was still behind her. I screamed: 'If you don't do what I want you to do, I'll shake you to death!'

I cannot recall what else happened in this dream. I woke up.

TIME: 21:00 - 06:30 hours (I woke up from this dream)

LUCIDITY: NO

SPECIAL NOTES: NONE OF NOTE

Dream Information:

• In the dream, I knew that in real-life memory, my Nan has seen me smoke cannabis, either at family parties, in the garden, or in my former house where I was able to get away with smoking inside. I have never ever hidden my cannabis smoking - or any other negative or wrongful behaviours from my family. Some of my friends have said that it is 'disrespectful' to expose your family elders (well, parents, grandparents etc) to your vices or bad behaviour, because you should protect from from the knowledge that you do things they disapprove of. Now, my family is divided on the issue of cannabis - many of us, including my uncles, aunts and cousins, smoke. I always smoke a joint with them when I am at a family gathering. My Mum and Nan will know exactly what I will be doing, because I say: 'I want to get some weed tonight and go for a smoke with [X]' and if someone else is smoking, my Mum is likely to say: 'Tallulah will want to get some of that...' My Mum doesn't approve of cannabis, but she is realistic and would much prefer me to be completely honest and open about what I get up to, because I am an adult. Even as a teenager, I never ever hid the fact I smoked weed from her -what was the point? I wouldn't have quit because my (lenient) family disapproved or tried to stop me - what would that achieve for them, given I had a lot of independence and I earned my own money? I would have just hidden it from them and lied. So I appreciate that my family have never tried to control me, and have accepted me for who I am, even if they don't approve of a choice I make. Everyone who meets my family always say they are shocked and jealous by how candid we all are with each other. I am usually shocked about how many of my adult friends still lie to their parents and other relatives about the 'real' them. It must be stressful and limiting to have to be secretive with people who are supposed to love you unconditionally. But I do of course appreciate all families are different. My respect towards my family is demonstrated by the fact I trust them to know the whole, unedited picture, not just the pleasant or positive aspects of my identity and lifestyle I think presents the best version of myself

Dreamsigns:

• The whole dream was a dreamsign, really

Recurrent Dream Themes:

• None of note

Potential Day/Dream Residue:

• The day of this dream I read about Jade Goody, the controversial 'star' of Big Brother Season 3 (2002), who died from cancer on 22 March 2009 - the media was paying tribute to her on the anniversary of her untimely death
• The day of this dream I had told DL about my teenage experience of getting cannabis - it used to get given to me in the old camera film cases, and I often used to get some free from someone who my Mum knew. I also told him the story of how my Mum found a homemade bong or bucket in my wardrobe when I was about 15 or 16 years old, and how she took it to her workplace (the pub) to show her colleagues, so that they could have a laugh at it (it was made from a plastic bottle - but then my Mum's colleague/friend, CC recognised that the bottle had come from her kitchen, so she knew her son had been involved). I had told my Mum how stupid it was to take the bong out of the house and down to the pub, because that meant she had been walking around with drugs paraphernalia - smelling strongly of cannabis - in her bag and might have been stopped by the police, then she'd have to explain how she came to have a bong in her possession. DL had said: 'You were even like a defence lawyer back then...' and we laughed about it 
• The day of this dream, one of my Facebook friends, FD had posted a status saying that when in his high school drugs awareness education, he had been given the impression that drug dealers would approach people and offer them drugs - meaning that weed would always be available. I commented saying that the 'Just Say No' campaign should be interpreted as 'what the 'greenman' says when you ask him to drop you a draw on a Sunday evening' (i.e. it's the drug dealers who are the ones just saying 'no' because they can't be bothered to supply you at inconvenient times), which got a few 'likes' because other people could relate to the fact that schools and drug prevention programmes make it seem a lot easier to find and buy drugs than it actually is! This probably made me think of 'moral panics' about drug use
• The day of this dream, one of my friends and neighbours, JP had asked if I had ever tried vaping instead of smoking a joint, to which I said, yes - but had never considered switching to this method
• The day before this dream I had watched a documentary on the iconic supermodel, Gia Carangi (1960 - 1986) - AN AMERICAN GIRL: The Self-Destruction of Gia (2003), which details the meteoric rise of Gia as a top fashion model in the late 1970s and her tragic fall into heroin addiction. Gia is rumoured to be the first famous, high-profile female to die of AIDS, which she may have contracted from sharing communal needles in shooting galleries, or from when she was raped. In the documentary, makeup artist Sandy Linter (a woman with whom Carangi became infatuated, eventually being persuaded to have a relationship with her, despite being heterosexual) said she knew Gia smoked heroin, but was shocked when she found out that she was injecting it intravenously
• A couple of days before this dream I had explained to DL what 'shaken baby syndrome' is - prompted by a reference on the TV. DL did not know what it was, but as a criminal lawyer, I had read cases on this

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:

This dream was partially related to my Dream Incubation Experiment -  since the beginning of this experiment, I haven't really experienced a dream in which I was actually physically violent towards a dream character. In this dream I was both physically violent and made threats to kill. It seems that this dream, when taken with my dream from the day before - Dream 592 - 'Don't F*ck with the Chuck!' presented me with scenarios whereby dream character 'friends' or acquaintances in the dream act towards me in such a way to give me reason to get angry and vengeful in some way. 

I had noticed that in earlier dreams I was avoiding violence, or had negative reactions to the violent behaviours of others, and I was wondering if my subconscious was blocking me from being violent in a dream for some reason. It is true to say that in my waking life, although I am a confrontational and aggressively outspoken person, who would physically defend myself if necessary, I am not in any way violent and I don't really 'hate' anyone. There are people I dislike intensely, but rather than project negativity towards them, I tend to cut them out of my life and refuse contact with them, as it is less hassle. This is even the case with some former friends who have wronged me in significant ways. I used to be quite an 'angry' person, but nowadays I am pretty laidback and calm and avoid engaging with negative emotions triggered by other people. 

It seems that my dreams may be creating opportunities for me to get so enraged by dream characters that I am able to express my anger and frustration at them in a way which seems justified in the dream. My subconscious is perhaps reflecting the fact that I have no 'reason' to be violent towards anyone in my real-life, so I need extraordinary events to take place in a dream to lead to these actions. 

Although this dream wasn't particularly interesting - or clear in terms of what else happened (I know there was more action than what I have recalled here), it is an exciting development in my Dream Incubation Experiment.

* I have forgotten some aspects of this dream. If I recall them later, I will record them below.

Pregnancy & Dreaming

Many pregnant women report drastic changes in the nature and the content of their dreams, which sometimes causes alarm, anxiety and confusion. This article addresses the theme of dreaming in pregnancy and attempts to offer some explanations for this phenomenon. If you are pregnant and have any worries about your health and wellbeing, please do not ignore them. My bottom-line advice is to always seek professional medical attention for your own peace of mind. 

Often, pregnant women claim that their dreams are more vivid, intense and bizarre than usual, and strangely, there are some types of dream which seem to commonly occur in pregnancy. Fathers-to-be (or non-male partners in LGBT+ relationships where one partner is pregnant and the other is not) will also be likely to experience changes in their dreams - reflecting their mental and emotional processes as they prepare for a life-changing event, and perhaps some of their anxieties and concerns about the pregnancy and wellbeing of the mother and child. The nature and content of the dreams of the non-pregnant partner may depend on their gender and life experiences, so each dream experience, while some generalities can be drawn, will be unique to the individual.

However, in pregnant women, the changes in dreaming may also be caused by physical reasons as well - the dreaming mind is responding to changes in the body of the dreamer as much as their psychological or emotional state at this very significant stage in life.

Why does pregnancy cause changes in dreaming? One potential reason is that pregnancy causes huge disturbance in the normal sleep cycle, and therefore impacts on dreaming. 

Dreams mainly occur in the REM (rapid eye movement) stage of the sleep cycle. REM sleep is a light form of sleep, where you are close to waking. Here is an illustration of the normal sleep cycle: 

In an average or typical sleep cycle, you will see that you go in and out of REM sleep periodically, with the longest period of REM sleep taking place just before you wake. This is why we tend to remember the dreams which happen just prior to waking up far better than those which take place at earlier stages of REM sleep in the sleep cycle. Dream recall is linked to to the recency of the dream: if you wake up while in REM sleep, you tend to remember the dream you just had better than if you had sleep through the night. 

The more times you wake up, the more times you will enter REM sleep, as each stage of the sleep cycle is repeated. The average person spends 20 - 25% of the sleep cycle in REM sleep and the dream state. This means that waking during the night increases the change of experiencing and recalling more dreams - this has been shown through research into sleep and dreaming. Additionally, pregnant women often require more sleep, and may be taking more naps in addition to sleeping for longer periods at night.

In pregnancy, many things can disrupt sleep and cause you to wake periodically during the night (body temperature; discomfort and cramping; movement of the baby in the womb; frequent need to urinate; general anxiety or stress etc) - all of these things will lead to increased periods spent in REM sleep and increased chance you will wake from a dream and remember it more clearly. Some research suggests that an increase in the hormones oestrogen and progesterone may be responsible for vivid, bizarre and memorable dreams during pregnancy. 

Additionally, it may be that certain vitamins, supplements, medicines, dietary changes etc, may be responsible for causing noticeable differences in the quality or content of the pregnant woman's dreams. If the woman has for example,  quit smoking (and is using nicotine replacement therapies which are known to have a huge impact on dreaming and the potential for nightmares) or recently given up drinking alcohol, or using recreational drugs, these lifestyle changes which accompany a healthy pregnancy, may cause an alteration in dreaming, just as they would in a non-pregnant person. 

'There is a greater amount of actual dreaming and dream recall when a woman is pregnant than at any other time during her life', says Patricia Garfield who has authored a book which covers this topic, Women's Bodies, Women's Dreams (1988). Garfield, who is a co-founder and former president of The International Association for the Study of Dreams (IASD), states that 'the dreams will relate to her condition of pregnancy, the trimester she is in, and what is going on in her body at the time'.

All of the vivid, weird and bizarre dreams women report experiencing while pregnant can be a way for them to come to terms with their new role as a parent. Tore Nielsen, director of the Dream and Nightmare Laboratory at the Hopital du Sacré-Coeur de Montreal, in Canada, states that this is all part of the normal 'mental remodeling process'. In fact, some dream analysts and experts who work with pregnant women have suggested that discussing the themes which occur during pregnancy is a very useful stimulus for raising underlying issues related to the pregnancy, such as changes in the body or anxiety about their relationships or ability to cope with a new baby. 

The psychological state of a pregnant woman is undergoing a process of change and growth, which parallels what is happening physically to her body: 'Pregnancy dreams are nature’s way of assisting the woman through the process of transformation from woman to mother' claims Raina M Paris, author of The Mother-to-Be’s Dream Book (2000). Dr Nadia Bruschweiler-Stern a physician at the University of Geneva, Switzerland, is in agreement, claiming that the 'mental pregnancy' a mother experiences is just as profound as the physical one.

Obstetrician, Dr Gerard DiLeo explains that dreams act as a form of  'clearing-house' to help expectant mothers come to terms with both the physical and emotional transformation they are experiencing. He states: '[f]or first-time mothers especially, the bizarre dreams are a very real acknowledgement of the emotional investment of a pregnancy...This responsibility can weigh a bit heavy. I explain to my pregnant patients that strange, anxiety-producing dreams are simply the psyche’s way of processing all that the conscious mind is already rationalizing'.

There is a strong correlation between the stage of pregnancy and general themes which occur during this period:

First Trimester: 1 - 3 months

Conception

Nature / fertility / fecundity

Water

Second Trimester: 4 - 6 months

Changed architecture/buildings reflecting growth of body

Journeys and travel

Animals

Third Trimester: 7 - 9 months

Specific dreams about labour, birth and the baby

Common dream themes for pregnant women:

• DREAMING ABOUT CONCEPTION - dreams about conception are very common in early pregnancy. The conception may not be depicted as an act of sexual intercourse, it may be much more symbolic and metaphorical than that. Many women report seeing fish implant themselves into the bed of a stream, for example. A very common dream theme is for the woman to dream of being penetrated by a snake, or having a snake or serpent-like creature entering her body in some way. This about the symbolic significance of a snake - it is a very phallic object and likened to the male penis. The dream is one reflecting the process of sexual intercourse and conception. See also ANIMAL DREAMS, below.

• DREAMING OF LABOUR / GIVING BIRTH - this seems obvious: your mind and body is preparing for the event of birth. Anxiety dreams or nightmares about birth are very common in a first pregnancy, or where a woman may have experienced a previous traumatic pregnancy or birth. Some birth dreams will show unrealistic or morbid interpretations of what birth will be like, for example, the baby's limbs emerging from the woman's body suddenly, when she is in a public place, or the baby bursting through the flesh of her abdomen, like an alien. The dream is not a prediction of what the birth will necessarily be like, it is just a subconscious projection of something which naturally you are anticipating or even fearing. Desire and hope for an easy birth may be reflected in a dream where the baby simply pops out spontaneously, or appears from nowhere. Remember, that dreams may have the advantage of preparing us mentally, or providing some kind of psychological practice or training for something we will be facing in our waking life, so dreams about labour and birth may be a very positive occurrence for this purpose. Research has drawn conclusions regarding women who experienced short labours v long labours. A strong connection was found between dream content and length of labour. The results found that 94% of women who gave birth quickly had been assertive in at least one dream about birth, reflecting their self-confidence and mental empowerment. Of those who endured long labours, 70% had suffered nightmares about birth where they felt like victims who were inadequately prepared for the process of birth.

• DREAMING OF GIVING BIRTH TO ANIMALS OR INANIMATE OBJECTS - dreams of giving birth to animals or inanimate objects is very common. In Freud's The Interpretation of Dreams (1900), he reports of a woman dreaming of giving birth to a seal. Other common animals in pregnancy dreams include litters of kittens or puppies; laying an egg, or having a snake/serpent-like or reptilian creature emerging from the body. It may cause concern for the pregnant woman, who fears that dreams of giving birth to non-human offspring - or even monsters/alien-beings is a sign that their unborn baby is deformed or something terrible is going to happen, but this is not the case at all. These dreams are preparing the pregnant woman for the unknown, and usually the animal or object seen in the dream is a dream metaphor for the human baby, overlaid with the natural anxieties of the pregnant mother, who fears the unknown. The fact that some animals - especially baby mammals - cause instinctual nurturing feelings in humans should also be considered. The dream is preparing the pregnant woman for her role as a carer and protector of her baby (see ANIMAL DREAMS, below also).

• DREAMING OF THE APPEARANCE, TRAITS, GENDER OR NAME OF THE UNBORN BABY - many women will experience dreams in which they are able to see their baby and identify certain physical or personality characteristics. Some women report that the physical or personality characteristics are negative or undesirable and this causes fears of anxiety. This is a natural dream response to a fear of the unknown, and not a prediction of the future. While some women can see the gender of their child, others may not be able to clearly identify whether the baby is a boy or a girl, or what it looks like. This is again, the dream reflecting the natural, expected anxieties of the unknown. Dreaming of the baby's gender simply reflects that gender is a theme which is on the mother's waking mind - especially if the gender has not yet been revealed by an ultrasound scan. Dreaming of the gender may also reflect a latent preference to have a baby of that gender. However, dreams are not like looking into a crystal ball and  predicting the future, so any dream in which the baby's gender is apparent should not be seen as 'evidence'. Some women may dream of a name for their unborn baby. In some cultures, the name which appears in the dreams of the pregnant mother hold significance and are deemed to be a sign that this is the correct name for the baby, but for others, the dream is just a process of the imagination, and the names which occur in the dream have no special meaning.

• DREAMING OF A GROWN-UP CHILD - some pregnant women dream that their unborn child is grown-up. It may be because the mother is concerned that she will be soon responsible for a vulnerable and needy newborn, and the dream presents her with a matured child, who is less 'demanding' - showing her that she has the capability to raise the baby and protect it. If the mother is planning to return to work after the birth of her baby, the dream of grown-up children may reflect a worry that she will miss out on some aspects of her baby's growth and development.

• DREAMING OF YOUR PARTNER CHEATING - this is a common dream theme, especially in the second trimester, when the body is undergoing (sometimes drastic) changes and the frequency or nature of sexual relations and intimacy with a partner may be adapting. Many pregnant women have a loss of confidence in their body and sexual attractiveness, and waking concerns that their partner may be turned off by weight gain, or beginning to perceive them as a maternal mother-figure rather than sexy. These concerns are being reflected in dreams about the partner cheating or having an affair, and should not be taken as evidence that this is happening in reality. Instead, the pregnant woman having these dreams should attempt to discuss them with her partner so that he might be able to offer her some support and reassurance. 

• DREAMING OF DEAD RELATIVES - dreaming of dead relatives is a way of connecting the past (the family heritage or lineage) with the present and future - i.e. the new life about to begin with the birth of the baby. Pregnancy commonly causes dreams about the cycle of life, birth and death, because they are all concepts which are present in the conscious, waking mind as well. 

• DREAMING OF CHILDHOOD HOME / FRIENDS - dreaming of the past may be a reflection on the past self, in preparation for the new adventures of motherhood and changes which are coming with it. The pregnant woman may be saying 'goodbye' to her old identity, as she approaches her new one, as mother. It is not surprising that a new mother may reconnect with her own childhood self in her dreams, or even see herself as a child again.

• DREAMING OF MURDER / DEATH - as horrific as it seems, themes of death or violent murder often feature in the dreams of pregnant women. This isn't something to be alarmed about. Death in dreams should never be taken literally as a sign of actual death. Usually, death dreams are interpreted as signalling an ending or change in something. 

• DRIVING / VEHICLES - vehicles, on a basic level, symbolise a journey or the process of moving forward in life. This reflects the situation facing a new mother and therefore dreams of driving are common for pregnant women. Also consider the fact that vehicles may carry cargo or passengers - symbolically this reflects the physical state of the mother, who is carrying precious cargo, in the form of her baby. Dreaming that you are driving unsafely or in some form of accident may indicate natural anxieties and concerns about the child in the womb - the mother is like the 'vehicle' for the baby who is a 'passenger' in her body, and the 'safe driving' of the mother is necessary for the protection of her child. If the vehicle in the dream is difficult to steer or maneuver, it may be a reference to the changes in the woman's body, which make it physically harder for her to move freely

• JOURNEYS / TRAVELLING - again, the symbol of the journey can be interpreted as a possible indication of the life-changing journey the pregnant woman is embarking upon, either becoming a mother for the first time, or adding another child to her family. The journey may present itself as easy and taking a fast, direct route; or be a confusing, directionless or strenuous journey, where the mother dreams of being unprepared (not having packed a suitcase, unable to find travel documentation etc), getting lost or being confronted with obstacles. It is likely that the dream is reflective of her mental and emotional state at this time - she might be positive and optimistic and 'taking everything in her stride' or alternatively, weighed down, burdened and 'lost' in the enormity of the forthcoming adventure, unable to see which direction she is supposed to be travelling in. This is because everyone reacts differently to life's challenges. It may not necessarily be the prospect of motherhood which is causing anxiety in the dream, but other aspects of the mother's waking life, which is impacting on her stress levels. This is again a normal response, but if the pregnant woman has any concerns over her mental, emotional or physical well-being, the best thing to do is to seek medical advice to be on the safe side. It may just be that the woman requires some simple reassurance that everything is fine, or that she needs to reevaluate what it is in her waking life which can be changed to minimise and reduce her stress levels and help her relax in preparation for the arrival of her baby.

• BUILDINGS / ARCHITECTURE - pregnant women often dream of buildings. The building which appears in the dream may be a simple room or a huge soaring skyscraper. The building may be a factory or workshop of some kind, as these are common types of buildings which occur in the dreams of pregnant women. Think about the symbolism of the building and what it might represent - a factory is a place where things are assembled, put-together and produced - reflecting the process of growing a baby inside the womb. The factory is symbolic of the act of creation. Also consider that a room or building is a place where people can be contained within. The room or building may be symbolic of the pregnant woman's womb. It is also very common for pregnant women to dream of much larger, taller buildings as their bodies changes and grows in later pregnancy.

• BEING TRAPPED / SUBMERGED UNDER WATER - Often these dreams can reflect the fact that the pregnant woman is identifying with her unborn baby, who is trapped in the womb (in the amniotic fluid), but they may also indicate that she is feeling 'trapped' by the physical constraints - and pressures - of the pregnancy, or feels overwhelmed by the experience. The pregnant woman is aware that motherhood - to an extent - represents a loss or reduction in freedom; another human being will be dependent on her for survival, protection, support and care. It is unsurprising that this will provoke anxieties which are reflected in dream content. This shows that the pregnant woman is consciously aware about her forthcoming responsibilities and taking them seriously.

• WATER / SWIMMING - this is a common dream theme during pregnancy, especially in first trimester dreams. Think about how we all start life - in the amniotic fluid of the mother's womb. It is therefore also common for pregnant women to dream of water-dwelling creatures - such as fish. Tadpoles - symbolic of the developing foetus - are also very common dream themes in early pregnancy. As the pregnancy progresses, many women report dreams of swelling oceans, crashing waves and flooding. These dreams may relate to the changes in the female body at this time, or simply anticipations of 'waters breaking' - a sign that labour and birth is imminent. Swimming is an incredibly common pregnancy dream theme as well, as the uterus and other parts of the pregnant body fill with fluid.

• NATURE & FERTILITY SYMBOLISM - in the first trimester, it is very common for a pregnant woman to dream about symbols of fertility and fecundity. These dream symbols may manifest as gardens with flowers or plants in bloom, or ripe fruit. 

• BLOOD - this is a theme which frequently occurs during menstruation or pregnancy. For a pregnant woman, blood may represent the new life she is carrying. It may also be an indication that she feels exhausted, or emotionally drained. On a more literal level, given that pregnancy causes an increased blood flow, it may be that the dream is reflecting the woman's awareness of the changes within her body, or perhaps the fact she associates blood loss with the birthing process.

• DREAMING OF HAVING A NON-PREGNANT BODY - many women have dreams in which they are not pregnant - or they are, but show no physical signs to indicate this. These dreams may just be based on pre-pregnancy memories (we all dream about our earlier lives, such as regressing to childhood or previous situations we have been in), or simple anxiety about the changing shape of the pregnant body, and a normal desire to regain your former figure.

• ANIMALS - dreaming of animals, especially baby animals is another very common theme. These animal dreams can be either cute or threatening for some pregnant women. The nature of the dream and the animals which appear in it may be influenced by the woman's waking thoughts and feelings about pregnancy, her partner and her unborn child. Nurturing animals in a dream occurring during pregnancy may reflect the motherly instincts and protective qualities of the woman. This would also be the case if the woman dreams she is defending a vulnerable animal from an attack of some sort. A dream about a threatening animal may simply be a reflection of the woman's anxieties about the arrival of her child. In the first trimester, metaphorical babies may be represented by small animals that grow (during the course of the pregnancy) into larger animals. Siegel states that: '[i]n a way you can look at [these dreams as] almost as having an evolutionary value because the 9 month pregnancy is when the member of the species prepares to protect and take care of their offspring that’s coming...Part of this growing prenatal psychological attachment that begins [in dreams] continues on when the child is born'. As stated, above snake dreams appear to be incredibly common during pregnancy. Snakes generally relate to instinct and intuition, and during pregnancy, women tend to be more intune with their instinctual side. This may be why snake dreams occur at this time - it is a sign that the woman should listen to and respect her natural intuition.

• GAMES / SPORT - dreaming about games or sports is extremely common. This is symbolic of the excitement and thrill of pregnancy. Towards the end of the third trimester, many women report dreaming of boredom or waiting - especially waiting for a score or result. This is a reflection of the natural impatience for the arrival of the child. After 9 months of gestation, there is no wonder the pregnant woman is keen for the arrival of the baby, and bored of waiting in anticipation!

• CONTROL & POWER - many pregnant women dream of scenarios where they are required to be assertive and take control. This may be within the context of a nightmare, where they have to fight off an enemy or negative force, or a more pleasant dream where they acquire superpowers which they are able to use in imaginative ways. This is a sign that the woman is preparing for the birth of the child, and the challenges of being a mother. Taking control and gaining power are positive symbols of motherhood, preparing the woman for becoming the protector and carer of her vulnerable baby. These dreams may sometimes seem scary or daunting, but it is a sign that the subconscious is responding to forthcoming changes in the woman's life and the role she will be taking in relation to her child.

• EROTIC / SEX DREAMS - many pregnant women report an increase in erotic or sexual dreams while pregnant. There may be a psychological or a physical reason for this. Firstly, the woman may have some anxieties about her changing body and how pregnancy/birth/motherhood will affect her sexual attractiveness, relationship with her partner and sex life. A reduction in the amount of sex the woman experiences at this point in life, may lead to a compensation in the dreamworld - the sex dreams are 'making up' for what is not happening (or happening less frequently or with less intensity) in her waking relationship. Another reason is the fact that there is increased blood flow in the lower body and the growing baby is putting additional pressure on the pelvic area of the pregnant mother, which can lead to sexual dreams. Note that in non-pregnant women (and men!), laying on your front while asleep is known to increase the likelihood of erotic or sexual dreams due to blood being directed into the pelvic area and the pressure on the sexual organs/genitals from laying in this position.

• ACCIDENTALLY HARMING / ABANDONING / FORGETTING THE BABY - pregnant women may dream that they accidentally drop a baby, or that the baby they are holding in a dream breaks into pieces. Some women dream of losing or forgetting the baby - such as leaving it in a public place. These anxiety-dreams are also common after the baby's arrival. This is because the woman may be dealing with the overwhelming feeling of being responsible for protecting and nurturing their child, and fears and concerns about performing this task well are reflected in their dreams or nightmares. Dreams should not be taken literally at face value, but it is true that dreams also do reflect underlying concerns and worries, so if the pregnant woman has any doubt about the health of herself or her baby, she must consult a doctor, who will be able to check the situation and provide reassurance and advice. Nielsen suggests that dreams about accidentally harming, breaking, abandoning or forgetting a baby may be a sign the pregnant woman does not feel adequately prepared (psychologically) for motherhood. In interpreting the meaning of such dreams, attention should be paid to emotional themes, rather than the content. It is the underlying emotions which reveal more clues as to the meaning and significance of the dream, and unlocking these underlying emotions will enable the pregnant woman - or new mother - to discuss these issues and access the right support for her and her baby.

• DEFORMITY / MISCARRIAGE / STILLBIRTH - please try not to worry if you have nightmarish dreams of deformity in the foetus/baby, miscarriage or stillbirth. These are common dream themes, reflecting normal fears of the unknown and concerns about safeguarding and protecting your baby. There is no expectant mother who doesn't at least once, avert their mind to the worry that their unborn baby is at risk: every mother wishes for a healthy and happy child. The first thing to do, if you have dreams of this nature, is to seek medical reassurance. Doctors are typically very sensitive to the instincts and intuitions of pregnant women and will be able to act on  any real concerns, whether it be performing a health check on the mother or baby, or providing additional support which will help put the expectant mother's mind at rest. The other thing to remember is that dreams are not always reflective of reality in a literal sense; they are symbolic and complex in meaning. They are not an accurate prediction of the future or determinative of what is actually happening in waking life, even if they do correspond with real-life events and experiences. 

• GENERAL NIGHTMARES - nightmares tend to happen when we are at our most emotionally vulnerable or experiencing stress and anxiety about something in our waking life. Therefore nightmares which occur in pregnancy are completely natural, and may reflect a range of concerns faced by the pregnant woman, such as changes to her body; the pain of birth; coping with a new baby; or her relationship with her partner.

Common dream themes for expectant fathers:

There are 3 types of dreams which seem to be most common amongst expectant fathers, although of course, this doesn’t mean there are no other popular dream themes which may occur at this time:

• FEARS THAT FATHERHOOD WILL COMPROMISE MASCULINITY - during the first few months, men with pregnant partners are likely to have many more sexual dreams than usual, according to an intriguing study conducted by psychologist Alan Siegel in Berkeley, California. At the same time he is having an unusual number of sexual dreams, an expectant father often dreams of protecting and caring for his mate. The sexual dream theme usually reduces in frequency as the mother-to-be progresses into her second trimester. Early in their partner’s pregnancy, the fathers-to-be in his study dreamed of having sex with their partners, with other women, with prostitutes, or sometimes with other men. Siegel speculates that the protective feelings a man develops toward his partner and unborn child may be threatening to his masculinity. His sexual dreams and other traditionally ‘macho’ visions (such as triumphs on the football field or in warfare/fighting) may express a need to be more ‘masculine’ and offer subconscious reassurance. This research is premised on ‘traditional’ notions of masculinity, which is a perspective which comes under challenge in gender debates. Whether the father-to-be has anxiety over his masculinity and how this presents itself in the dream would largely depend on variable factors, such as socio-cultural contexts and whether the man identifies with traditional notions of masculinity or gender stereotypes in the first place. 

• FEELING EXCLUDED - during the second trimester, an expectant father's dreams become less dominated by sexuality and more protective and nurturing. He may find himself thinking and dreaming about his family or heritage. It is often common for the expectant father to experience himself being pregnant and giving birth in the dream. Although he recognizes the female’s unique role as child-bearer, these dreams may reflect his desire to share the experience and process of pregnancy and birth on a more physical level. Expectant fathers often feel left out at this stage of their partner's pregnancy. More than half of subjects studied in Siegel’s research dreamed of feeling excluded and alone. Confiding troublesome dreams to one's partner can help men overcome feelings of loneliness and keep the couple in touch, while trading happy dreams can increase confidence and intimacy. 

• ANTICIPATING / CELEBRATING FATHERHOOD - a father-to-be will often anticipate the birth of a child in his dreams just as his pregnant partner does. It is common for fathers dream of finding babies or of being given them, sometimes during elaborate ceremonies or rites which appear to have deep symbolic significance. While a woman may be dreaming of the work involved in her forthcoming labour, her mate may be concentrating on dream celebrations of the baby's birth. Dreams of this kind indicate acceptance and valuing of the child whose arrival is imminent.

ADVICE & GUIDANCE

Nothing in this article replaces the need to seek professional medical treatment if there are any concerns as to mental or physical health and wellbeing. Always trust your instincts and obtain proper advice if in any doubt. However, pregnant women may consider a few additional pointers on how to deal with the changes in pregnancy. 

First, take opportunities to communicate and discuss any issues - or dreams - with your partner. This can help in re-establishing intimacy and trust, and encourage your partner to share and empathise with changes emotional, psychological and physical changes during pregnancy that they may either be unaware of, or simply lack understanding in. Remember, this may all be just as scary or overwhelming for them, and being open and candid can help them feel connected to the experience and encourage them to provide support and care. 

Obviously eating healthily and wholesomely, taking regular, gentle (and medically-endorsed) physical exercise, staying hydrated and ensuring you are getting the right vitamins and minerals in your diet are all starting points for pregnant women. Consider adding regular meditation sessions as well - this will assist in relaxing and re-focusing the mind and reducing stress and anxiety levels at this crucial time. Meditation need not be complicated: if you are unable to participate in a guided meditation session in a group environment, find some Youtube videos which will teach you some basic techniques, or act as a guided session in the comfort of your own home. Alternatively, you could just play some relaxing music or other sounds and take some time out from your busy day to settle into a comfortable position, with your eyes closed and clear your mind, focusing on your breathing. A simple technique, such as this, can do wonders for your stress levels. 

Treat yourself to a spa session, specialising in pregnancy massage and/or aromatherapy treatments. It's always pleasurable to pamper yourself and escape from the stresses and strains of everyday life, but pregnancy can cause extra tension, both physically and mentally, whether it be aching muscles, water retention, exhaustion or just the result of hormonal fluctuations taking their toll on emotions. Indulging in enjoyable and relaxing treatments can be beneficial for the mind and body, and gives a pregnant woman an opportunity to focus on herself before the arrival of her baby. Involving your partner in massage tailored for pregnant women (with the assistance of a book or kit) can also help with intimacy and getting your partner to feel more involved.

It is essential that pregnant women get enough restful and restorative sleep. If you are having difficulty sleeping, consult your doctor, and ask about natural sleep aids and remedies which are safe to take during pregnancy.