Friday, 22 June 2018

Dreams 925 - 940

My dreaming has lapsed A LOT over the past few months. This is for a variety of reasons in my personal and private life, which I may discuss at various points in my Blog posts, but generally it suffices to say here that all of these circumstances have had a massive impact on my mental and emotional resources. I therefore was unable to concentrate on my dreamwork alongside other responsibilities and since I wasn't concentrating on dreamwork, I wasn't Blogging, and because I wasn't Blogging, I had no impetus to concentrate on my dreams...it became somewhat of a viscious cycle. I have learned enough about myself that if I lapse on something I find it really hard to start again, as if the project (or whatever it may be) is flawed beyond repair. It takes a while for me to break that apathy and malaise and jump back into things. Today, that breaking point was writing up the very few dreams I managed to recall and record during my hiatus. Oftentimes, I might not write any notes upon waking, so my dream recollections are poor due to struggling to recall details later in the day. I did not date my dream records, so I am only able to state which month the dreams occurred in with any certainty. I have chosen not to do any analysis or additional notes (even though there was plenty of material such as Day Residue and Dreamsigns which I could have included) as I thought that would be too overwhelming a task for my first multi-dream Blog post in such a long time. 

Dream 925
'Attempted Theft'
Date: April 2018
Scene 1: An Unknown Nightclub/Bar Interior - Time Unknown
I was in a dark bar or nightclub - I cannot recall where it was, or if it was daytime or night. I was sitting on a stool at a curved bar area at the back of the venue, and a short distance away was a small group of dream characters - all male, some white and some black. Someone (I cannot recall who) said: 'That's KU's girlfriend' [referring to me]. I wondered why they were discussing my business. Something made me leave my seat and get up to walk a short distance away. I left my purse and my mobile phone on the bar. I then realised this, as my back was turned. I went back to collect my forgotten belongings, just in time to see a male dream character (no details recalled) about to steal them. I dashed over and snatched them up just in time. I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Dream 926
'Kitchen Conversation'
Date: April 2018
Scene 1: My Kitchen, Norwich - Day
I was in my kitchen in my flat in Norwich, with my Mum (who has never actually been inside my flat in real life). My Mum was standing at the kitchen counter and we were discussing things - I think we may have been arguing. I then walked over to the wall and crouched down beside it (facing the wall, with my back to my Mum) to make a telephone call - either to KU or abou KU. There was some indication that he had been arrested - or perhaps it was my Mum, behind me saying/asking about police arrest while I was on the telephone. I ended the call and felt reassured that everything would be OK. I told my Mum about the telephone call, but I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Dream 927
'Potatoes & Sweetcorn'
Date: April 2018
Scene 1: My Nan's House, Sheringham - Day
I was in my Nan's house in Sheringham, in the living-room. KU was with me, and various family members were present, including my Nan and my cousin HM. I was stressed as KU and I were meant to be travelling somewhere, but there was some issue - either we were going to be delayed, or there was some uncertainty with our plans. This was the background to why I felt stressed in the dream. I think we may have been waiting for a taxi to arrive. I recall looking out of the window and noticing that the weather was sunny or at least bright and dry.

My cousin HM was cooking some food. I saw a close-up of the food she was cooking - she was boiling water in a pan and put in some whole new potatoes and emptied in some cans of sweetcorn. I go angry with her and asked her why she was cooking the potatoes and sweetcorn at the same time, as the potatoes needed a lot more cooking, and the sweetcorn would only need to be heated lightly. HM started arguing with me, saying that her way was right. This descended into shouting at one another, My Nan then stood up and took HM's side. I was even more angry now. The taxi arrived outside. I said to KU (sitting in an armchair near the living-room door, not involved in the family dispute) that it was time for us to leave. There were some suitcases. I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Dream 928
'Unwanted Baby'
Date: April 2018
Scene 1: A Hospital Interior(?) - Time Unknown
I was in a room was quite dark, but appeared to be a hospital setting. I was standing with another (unrecalled) dream character, in front of a red table top which was adjacent to a wall. On the table was a range of magazines, aimed at expectant or new mothers. The front covers of the magazines depicted pregnant women or women holding babies. I was then told by the unrecalled dream character that I was due to give birth in 3 weeks. I checked my body and discovered I was actually pregnant and this made me very anxious. I asked if I could avoid giving birth, but I was told that this was impossible. I did not want the baby and I did not want to give birth and then have the baby adopted, so I felt stuck in the situation. I then saw my cousin HM sitting on top of the blue covers of one of the many beds lining the other side of the room. She did not seem unwell or in distress, so I felt calm, but wondered why she was there (in the hospital? my location wasn't clear even then). I cannot recall anything else about this dream. 

Dream 929
'Abandoned at a House Party'
Date: May 2018
Scene 1: A House Party - Night
I was at a house party in an unknown house, which was familiar in the dream. There was a booth-style seating (red) lining one of the walls in front of a window. It made me think I was in a lounge. I cannot recall all the guests, but KU and R3A were present. Both were ignoring me and pretending I wasn't there when I tried to speak to them. I felt abandoned. KU was laying on the booth-seating. R3A was sitting alone in a different corner of the room. I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Dream 930
'Ms Flat Booty'
Date: May 2018
Scene 1: A Bedroom - Time Unknown
I was in a bedroom, which was not my own or one I recognise from real life, but in the dream it felt familiar to me, as if it was my bedroom. I was posing for some nude photographs - I think I may have been modelling while someone else took the photographs. I saw myself in third-person perspective and realised my (usually curvy) hips and butt were completely flat and non-existant. I still had thick thighs and a lot of cellulite, but standing in profile, by butt was almost concave. The rest of my appearance seemed to be as it is in real life, as far as I can recall. I felt very unattractive and ugly and wondered how I would be able to pose for the nude photographs when my body had changed so much. I saw myself looking in a full-length mirror on the front of a wardrobe. I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Dream 931
'Tooth Hole'
Date: May 2018
Scene 1: An Unknown Interior (Unrecalled) - Time Unknown
I was in a house with my Nan and some other (unrecalled) members of my family and/or dream characters. I did not recall the location of this scene, other than it was a house and may have been my Mum's flat or my Nan's house in Sheringham. My Nan was cooking a large piece of meat for us to eat. However, I was aware that I had a large hole in one of my lower front teeth - it was on the front of the tooth, so very visible. It looked like a large black cavity. I was really anxious and concerned about my tooth as I have a phobia of dentistry, so never ever go to the dentist. I did not want to eat the meat with such a large hole in my tooth. I saw my open mouth and the problem tooth in close up, third-person perspective (I do not think I was looking in the mirror). My teeth (and the hole) was much larger than real life, as I could fit my index finger in the hole and turn the finger in the space. I kept fiddling with my tooth until it fell out, which was almost a relief as I did not have an ugly hole, and the gap was more acceptable to me than a bad tooth. I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Dream 932
'Kittens'
Date: May 2018
Scene 1: A Hospital/House - Night
I was in a house which was also like a small hospital. At some point I realised that this room was in my Nan's house in Sheringham, as it led through to her kitchen and back porch area. However, at this stage in the dream, it appeared to be an unfamiliar room, with an operating table in the centre. There was a body laying on he table, covered up and a number of (unrecalled) dream characters (surgeons? doctors?) standing around, as if about to operate/treat this unidentified body. I was then aware my Mum was with me, standing near this operating table. We were discussing a small child - a male dream character, who was a toddler (18 months - 2 years) and in my care. He was not my son, but I was responsible for him. I then realised that the child was now missing, which set me off into a panicked state. I told my Mum that the child was lost. I then saw (a flashback? memory?) of the child climbing over the body on the operating table and jumping down onto the ground. I realised he had run away. My Mum tried to calm me down and say that we could easily find a small child, but I was not sure. I wanted to call the police, but my Mum said we should 'check the kittens'. We walked out of the room, which led to my Nan's kitchen and we exited the backdoor, leading to the porch area. There was a small wooden table, almost waist height. On this table were 3 kittens - 2 were pure black and the other was ginger, and slightly larger. The ginger kitten was the 'male child' (albeit transformed into a ginger kitten, an event which I did not question or find weird in the dream). I was pleased to see the 'child' and told my Mum that he must have wanted to find the black kittens. I picked one of the black kittens up and snuggled it. I knew I wanted to keep it. My Mum said I should keep boh black kittens as they were 'twins'. I was pleased. I no longer had interest in the child now that he was found safely and I had kittens to play with.

Dream 933
'Infiltrated by Colleagues'
Date: June 2018
Scene 1: My Flat, Norwich - Night
I was in my flat with my best friend, AS. It was night and we wanted to go and smoke some cannabis outside. We either rolled some joints or we had already had them rolled. The scene cut to us coming back in from smoking, although in the dream I cannot recall us actually being outside/smoking the cannabis. As we come back into my flat we noticed that our boss (DT) and colleagues were all in my flat. DT told us that it was a work party (so not strictly a social event) and they had decided to host it in my home. I had not given permission for this and was annoyed to see my flat filled with nearly 40 people. It was crowded and AS and I just waned to hang out with each other and not deal with anyone else, especially not our boss, given we were stoned. I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Dream 934'
'Throwing Him Out'
Date: June 2018
Scene 1: My Flat, Norwich - Time Unknown
I was in my flat in Norwich, with KU. I am not sure if anyone else was present. I told KU everything that I think about him in real life, things that I have told him in real life, but which I do not think he has actually taken on board. I told him to leave and was firm about it. I cannot remember the specifics of the conversation, only the general content and tone. 

Dream 935
'Sex with ASF'
Date: June 2018
Scene 1: An Unknown Interior - Night
I was with ASF, who is a 'friend' of KU. In the dream there was some vague notion of going somewhere to meet ASF and not quite being sure of what was going to happen. There was a sense (my recollection is poor) of getting to know each other during a conversation and me then being somehow persuaded in my own mind that I wanted to have sex with him, and asking him to accompany me to one of the bedrooms in the house. I do not remember any sex scene from this dream. I cannot recall anything else about this dream either, other than it seemed to be much longer than this report would suggest.

Dream 936
'Lions/Tigers(?) on a Bridge'
Date: June 2018
Scene 1: Outside Location - Day
I was in an outside location - it looked very much like the countryside or suburbs - so perhaps quite like my own city of Norwich in Norfolk. There was a lot of green grass and perhaps some buildings, although I cannot specifically recall seeing any in the dream. It was daytime and I was standing in front of what appeared to be a bridge, or some kind of high wall made of grey stone. I was with other dream characters who I cannot recall. We were watching 2 lions/tigers (I cannot recall) walk towards each other, in the direction of the centre of the bridge/wall. I felt quite anxious even though they were at least 5 meters above me and would not be able to reach me. 

Dream 937
'Old Familiar Bookshop'
Date: June 2018
Scene 1: A Secondhand Bookshop - Day
I was in a secondhand bookshop and felt so pleased to be there. I was staring at a floor-to-ceiling shelf, containing thousands of old books. The wall was also a sliding door, disclosing another room full of books. The elderly white man who ran the bookshop (a dream character) was seated to the left. I wanted to find the horror section (this being the section I used to head for in real life when I was a very young child visiting the secondhand bookshop with my Nan on a Saturday). I went up some stairs. While not lucid, I started wondering which bookshop this 'represented'.  I guess there were elements of dream deja vu and pre-lucidity, as I thought: 'I have definitely been here before, but I can't remember which secondhand bookshop this is'. Upstairs I entered the room which I knew to have the horror books. It had a lot of low level (waist height) pale brown shelves, but they were mainly empty. The majority of things for sale seemed to be dried flowers or potpourri. I was very disappointed. I wondered if the outside of the secondhand bookshop was a Tudor-style building. I wandered around this top floor, but then realised it was useless as there were no books there and nothing I wanted. There were only a few other dream characters browsing this fairly large space. I went back downstairs and began looking at books on the copiously-stacked shelves on the lower floor.  

Dream 938
'Failed Exam'
Date: June 2018
Scene 1: A University - Day
I was at a university. I am not sure if it is my own university or another, as I cannot recall any details which would indicate. I had to sit a number of exams. Some of my peers from high school were present, yet I knew this was university not schooldays. Everyone - including those pupils who had been very poor educationally and sometimes had learning difficulties - seemed to find the tasks we were set and being assessed on incredibly easy. I could not figure out what was required of me, and this made me frustrated, as I was the only student who could not complete the assigned task. In fact I was unable to even start it. It appeared to be some form of history test I think, but also involved some aspect of 'employment' or 'office work' - it is just a vague recollection (in real life I had mentioned that my A-level history exam was the most difficult to revise for based on the sheer amount of detailed material to remember). I was told that I could do the assignment again, after everyone else completed their own. I did this. I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Dream 939
'Laptop Problems'
Date: June 2018
Scene 1: A Domestic Interior - Time Unknown
I was in a domestic interior, which is unrecalled, but which felt familiar in the dream. I was really anxious and upset because my laptop was broken. It was broken in a really weird way, as first, I lifted it and half the screen fell off (in the same way my toilet seat had in real life just prior to this - the screws holding it in place came loose). Then the other side fell off as I tried to fix this. Then the laptop sort of splintered into a number of pieces, all strange geometric shapes, and in much greater quantity than would form a laptop. My Mum said she would fix the laptop and was trying to calm me down. I said that she would not be able to fix the laptop and I wanted her to take me to get it repaired, but she seemed to think there was no need. I then realised - after the fact - that my laptop had been intentionally vandalised by a young woman ('Chloe' in the dream) who had been staying at this house with me/my family. I 'remembered' she had also stolen some money from me, and - I assumed, although was not sure - a quantity of cannabis from my room. I went into a different room, which was supposedly my bedroom, but looked much more like an industrial storage unit or warehouse, with silver metal shelving units. In the room there was an older male dream character, who appeared to be dressed as a scientist in a white labcoat. He was white, with balding grey hair and glasses and was approximately 55 years old. He handed me a glass jar of cannabis and pointed to a bedside cabinet (which looked like my own at home in real life) that did not appear to be beside a bed. On top there was a leather wallet with lots of banknotes inside - my cannabis and money had not been stolen. My reaction was to think: 'I don't keep my money in a wallet'. I did not think this lucidly, however. I still wanted to seek revenge against 'Chloe' for the broken laptop, but my Mum was intent on fixing it and not trying to find where she had fled to. 

Dream 940
'Back at the Law Firm'
Date: June 2018
Scene 1: My Former Law Firm - Day
I chose to return to work in my former law firm, however the office looked very different - bigger and much more modern, yet still minimalist and stripped down. Note that I had recently been considering returning to a particular job in legal practice (criminal defence law), which puts this dream into context. JA was there and she seemed surprised to see me, asking why I had wanted to return to work there. She did not seem unhappy to see me though, as I would expect (based on real life events), and she appeared to be in the position of my boss. She said that I could get on with my work. I cannot recall what happened in this dream as there was a lot more which I am unable to recall, involving discussions with many of the people I used to work with and some content which would be relevant to the context of working in criminal law, because I do remember I was looking at a number of case files which had been left on my desk and had found the first few to be motoring offences (my absolute least favourite type of criminal case). I also recall that there was some point in the dream when I noticed everything was washed in a blue light, which I found odd for an office.

Wednesday, 14 March 2018

Dream 924 (LUCID DREAM)

'Jenna Marbles'
Date: 4 March 2018
Time: Unknown
Type of dream: Vivid/Lucid dream
Dream recall: Strong recall 

This dream was part of my current Dream Incubation Experiment - Anakin Skywalker Dream. Please click HERE for my post on the Dream Incubation Experiment, the Methodology I am using (with instructions for those who also want to attempt to incubate their own dream) and links to my previous Dream Incubation Experiments and previous Star Wars-themed dreams. On that post you will also find an Index for all recorded dreams which take place during this experiment.

Scene 1: A Hotel Room - Night
It was night and I was in a hotel room, which looked pretty standard, although it was dark in the room. I was alone at first, but I was expecting other people to join me. I walked over to the bedside cabinet where my phone was, charging. I got a videocall on my phone - it was Jenna Marbles. I answered the call and started to talk to Jenna. I then realised that this must be a dream, as I was being videocalled by a famous Youtuber. I was therefore fully lucid. I told Jenna that she was a dream character in my lucid dream and the videocall was not happening. Jenna started laughing at me, telling me that this was reality, not a dream and she did not believe me. I lost lucidity. 

Jenna then arrived at the hotel. There were some other dream characters who we knew in the dream - I think there were 2 females. Jenna and I started bouncing up and down on the hotel bed. 

Jenna, the 2 female dream characters and I then went outside the hotel. It was very dark outside and we stood outside the building on the side of the road. I started wondering if we were in Cromer, Norfolk. This was never confirmed. Everything seemed like a mess - we were trying to decide what to do next, but were never coming to any firm plans. We were all drinking alcohol out of plastic cups and at one point one of the females was sitting on the concrete ground and would not get up. This was confusing. 

Scene 2: A Hall - Time Unknown
I was then in a large hall which appeared to be a composite of my high school assembly hall/canteen and a large meeting area. I was with someone, who I am unable to recall, but I think it was someone from my family. I could see that KU was sitting at a table in the corner, with a woman who represented his mother and another who was his ex-partner and mother of his children. They were having a drink after coming back from shopping and there were a number of shopping bags with them. There was some dispute going on and I knew that it would not be a good idea to make my presence known. KU's mother said something about 'what his life used to be like' (as if it was better than what it was now, looking back to the 'good old days' of the past). I saw this in flashback - KU was a club promoter and very rich and successful and in the dream everything had gone wrong. I saw a scene of KU in a nightclub, using a microphone to address the crowd. It was dark with strobe lights (and presumably music as people were dancing). 

I then heard/knew/perceived that the ex-partner was American and had 12 children. I found this to be odd and then I realised that KU was trapped by the 12 children. At this point I had a visualisation of a tall urban building, which may have been a bridge or a clocktower. It seemed to be part of the London skyline (KU is from London). It was like I was looking at this while finding out the information.

I sat down at a table a short distance away. I could still see KU. At this point, the room looked very much like my high school assembly hall/canteen. I was sat opposite a large white female dream character who was a nurse. She was reading a magazine and I could see that the page folded towards me was an article about KU's situation. 

Extra Information: 
No Vitamin B6 taken (forgot)

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • None of note

Dreamsigns: 

  • I knew/was meeting Jenna Marbles (used as a Reality Check)
  • The situation with KU - including the ability to visualise the past and see various images linked to thoughts

Day Residue: 
  • On the day of this dream I had been watching Jenna Marbles videos on Youtube 
  • KU came back to my local area after some time away
  • I had been discussing a person I know who ran/promoted events which often take place in venues like a club
  • I had been watching a documentary on the high-profile 'kidnapping' of Shannon Matthews. The commentary focused on the fact her mother, Karen Matthews (who faked a missing child scenario and was eventually convicted of criminal offences after fooling the general public, police and the media) had 7 children with 5 fathers

Waking Reactions: 
This was a really weird dream and seemed significant. I am impressed with the fact that my mind very quickly ascertained I was dreaming based on recognising Jenna Marbles as a dreamsign, however the period of lucidity appeared to last for less than a minute and then I lapsed back into a normal, non-lucid dream. 

Dream 923

'Lion Panic'
Date: 1 March 2018
Time: Unknown
Type of dream: Normal dream
Dream recall: Weak recall 

This dream was part of my current Dream Incubation Experiment - Anakin Skywalker Dream. Please click HERE for my post on the Dream Incubation Experiment, the Methodology I am using (with instructions for those who also want to attempt to incubate their own dream) and links to my previous Dream Incubation Experiments and previous Star Wars-themed dreams. On that post you will also find an Index for all recorded dreams which take place during this experiment.

Scene 1: An Unknown Interior
I was with a dream character who was a composite of RBA and another male who is known to me in real life, but I cannot recall who. It may be PS or KU. I was being told that I was being abandoned and I felt unhappy and rejected. The other person was unmoveable from their position and I could not convince them to not abandon me. There was some discussion about the situation, which I am unable to recall. I think this part of the dream took place in a room during the day as everything was light in colour.

We then went into another room which appeared to be empty and made entirely of grey concrete (walls and floor) with no features or furnishings. There was just an open doorway/passageway in front of me. I was with the male dream character, standing in the room. Suddenly a number of lions ran into the room. There were about 3 - 4 of them. The lions looked much smaller than they should - about the size of medium dogs and they were low to the ground, as if they were crouching while running. I was panicked. The male I was with managed to control the lions and send them away.

Scene 2: A Seaside Area - Day
I was then in a seaside area, which appeared to be like a typical seaside resort, like those in my local area. There was some kind of seating area where a number of dream characters were sitting and enjoying the location at wooden benches or some other kind of outside seating. I was walking from a hotel or bar out to this area when I saw the lions again, now jumping over a small brick wall into the area where the dream characters were sitting. They jumped out of the way in panic.

Scene 3: My Kitchen, Norwich
I was standing at my kitchen counter looking at the knife holder which is there in real life. Everything seemed normal, except one particular knife - a large one with a long, thin blade, was not there. I wondered where it had gone and assumed someone had stolen it. I then wondered if I was mistaken as to it ever existing and just imagined it. This was such a vivid scene that when I woke up in real life and was standing at my kitchen counter, it seemed like a real waking memory, rather than a scene from a dream.

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Extra Information: 
No Vitamin B6 taken (forgot)

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • The seaside

Dreamsigns: 

  • The composite dream character
  • The lions

Day Residue: 
  • None of note

Waking Reactions: 
There is not much to say about this dream. It was not a nightmare, despite the fact that there was a lot of panic in the dream.

Tuesday, 13 March 2018

Dream 922

'Snow Beach'
Date: 26 February 2018
Time: Unknown
Type of dream: Normal dream
Dream recall: Normal recall 

This dream was part of my current Dream Incubation Experiment - Anakin Skywalker Dream. Please click HERE for my post on the Dream Incubation Experiment, the Methodology I am using (with instructions for those who also want to attempt to incubate their own dream) and links to my previous Dream Incubation Experiments and previous Star Wars-themed dreams. On that post you will also find an Index for all recorded dreams which take place during this experiment.

Scene 1: A Beach - Day
I was on a beach - there were loads of dream characters present, but no-one who I recognised specifically. The sky was grey and overcast and it may have been raining. The sand on the beach was very weird - it was like sandbanks/dunes and was very pale in colour. It crunched underfoot in a really strange way. I was walking up the beach from the sea. I could see a large ship was docked on the edge of the water and a number of dream characters were looking over the side of the deck at me as I was trying to get up the sand of the beach. The ship was made of wood and looked liked an old-fashioned pirate ship. My feet were sinking int the sand as I tried to walk, making it nearly impossible. It felt like I was walking on heavy snow. I wondered if I could eat some of the sand - I went to scoop some up with my hands, then realised it was too dirty to eat and had the texture of spun sugar/candyfloss. 

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Extra Information: 
No Vitamin B6 taken (forgot)

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • The sea

Dreamsigns: 

  • The texture of the sand
  • The ship docked on the seashore
  • The fact I decided to try and eat sand

Day Residue: 
  • At the time of the dream there was heavy snowfall - the snow was nearly up to my knees and I had to walk across a field, which was really difficult. The feeling of sand under my feet in this dream was exactly the same as how it felt to walk across the snow

Waking Reactions: 
The sensation of walking in this dream appeared to be directly influenced by my Day Residue.

Dream 921

'Gangrene Feet'
Date: 26 February 2018
Time: Unknown
Type of dream: Normal dream
Dream recall: Normal recall 

This dream was part of my current Dream Incubation Experiment - Anakin Skywalker Dream. Please click HERE for my post on the Dream Incubation Experiment, the Methodology I am using (with instructions for those who also want to attempt to incubate their own dream) and links to my previous Dream Incubation Experiments and previous Star Wars-themed dreams. On that post you will also find an Index for all recorded dreams which take place during this experiment.

Scene 1: Location Unknown
I was in an unknown interior with various members of my family, including my Mum and my Nan. We were getting from one part of the building to the next via a very dark passageway which had 3 sides to the walls - so one side was open, therefore meaning it was not actually a passageway at all, but more like a dark part of the room. I recall looking at my Nan and vividly wondering if her health was OK (given she is due to have a mastectomy for breast cancer soon). I wondered what side of the body it was (I have not asked this question). My family members were planning what should happen next when I looked down at my bare feet. The skin was very white and looked as I had been in water for a long time - wrinkled and softened. The bottom of my feet showed that the entire heel was peeling off. Underneath dark, rotten holes. They were round and the size of 5p (like a beehive/wasps nest), reminding me of one of the images used to explain trypophobia

I wondered what had happened to my feet and if I could get medical treatment to cure the problem. I was told by a member of my family to stop worrying about it because it could be fixed. 

I cannot recall what else happened in this dream.

Extra Information: 
No Vitamin B6 taken (forgot)

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • My family as dream characters

Dreamsigns: 

  • My feet

Day Residue: 
  • Around the time of this dream my Nan had told me that my Mum had a problem with fallen arches in her feet
  • On the day of this dream I had been in a shop with KU when I mentioned something about gangrene on feet (because I had been walking through snow and my feet were wet)

Waking Reactions: 
There is not much to say about this particular dream as there are many aspects of it which I am unable to recall. 

Dream 920

'Fleshlight Knickers'
Date: 24 February 2018
Time: Unknown
Type of dream: Normal dream
Dream recall: Weak recall 

This dream was part of my current Dream Incubation Experiment - Anakin Skywalker Dream. Please click HERE for my post on the Dream Incubation Experiment, the Methodology I am using (with instructions for those who also want to attempt to incubate their own dream) and links to my previous Dream Incubation Experiments and previous Star Wars-themed dreams. On that post you will also find an Index for all recorded dreams which take place during this experiment.

Scene 1: An Unknown Interior - Time Unknown
I was in an unknown interior with RBA and another male dream character, who I cannot recall, but who was white, with blonde hair. It may have been someone that I know from real life. I cannot recall much of what happened in this dream, but the action became sexual - with both RBA and the blonde male dream character. There was a bedroom with a double bed with white bed covers on it. We were on the bed and I was about to have a threesome with the two men, when I saw some underwear on the bed. This was a pair of knickers which had a  3-dimensional vagina on the crotch, which appeared to be some kind of fleshlight (like a strap-on vagina). The fleshlight part appeared to be made out of plastic. I knew the knickers were intended for me to wear so that the men could have sex with the fleshlight part of them rather than my own vagina. I wondered why this was necessary.

I cannot recall anything else that happened in this dream.

Extra Information: 
No Vitamin B6 taken (forgot)

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • None of note

Dreamsigns: 

  • The threesome
  • The vagina fleshlight knickers

Day Residue: 
  • Around the time of this dream I saw an online article about fleshlights

Waking Reactions: 
There is not much that I can say about this dream as I cannot recall much of it, other than the sight of the fleshlight knickers, which was a vivid image in the dream. 

Thursday, 22 February 2018

Dream 919

'3 Bad Things'
Date: 21 February 2018
Time: 04:30 - 11:00
Type of dream: Normal dream
Dream recall: Normal recall 

This dream was part of my current Dream Incubation Experiment - Anakin Skywalker Dream. Please click HERE for my post on the Dream Incubation Experiment, the Methodology I am using (with instructions for those who also want to attempt to incubate their own dream) and links to my previous Dream Incubation Experiments and previous Star Wars-themed dreams. On that post you will also find an Index for all recorded dreams which take place during this experiment.

Scene 1: My University, Norwich (?) - Day
I was in a room which appeared to be within my university - it was a room with various items of furniture, although I only recall some blue sofas lined against a wall These sofas looked exactly like those in my own home (which is on campus). I was with DL (who also works at my university). There were some other dream characters present, although I cannot recall them.

I was waiting to get an email from my supervisor telling me that my request for a retrospective intercalation for personal reasons had been authorised. I did receive a message on my phone and I walked a short distance away to a brightly lit area on the other side of the room to read the message. I remember that there was some kind of table or shelves in this area and it reminded me of somewhere I know in real life, but I cannot recall exactly where this was. I read the message.

My supervisor's email referred to 3 really bad things I had done while teaching last semester, and for which I was being 'investigated'. My supervisor has no input into my teaching work typically, and in fact we are not really supervised in our role as long as we do the job properly. The email listed the 3 bad things as being: 
  1. Referring to a trans person named Peter as 'Dude' in class (this is a dream character who does not exist in real life and in the dream was a FTM transman)
  2. Possessing a disturbing and scary image of a baby which was 'illegal'
  3. Making a firefighter cringe because of how bad I was at explaining Star Wars in class
I was really worried about these matters, so I decided to call my supervisor IE and defend myself against the allegations. I had an actual visual image of Peter in the classroom (short white man with short brown hair, wearing a green jumper) and the firefighter, sitting in the classroom in his full uniform and pulling a cringing, embarrassed face). I saw these as if they were flashbacks/memories in my mind's eye. I used my mobile phone to call him, while standing beside the blue sofas. IE answered the phone and said a series of weird words, which sounded like: 'Boogle, woogle, oogle oooh'. I said: 'It's me, not your girlfriend' as in the dream I assumed the words he was saying were 'romantic' words intended for a lover. I said to IE that 'Peter' had only complained about me after they failed the class and decided that they wanted to find a reason to find fault with the teaching. I said this proved I was not in the wrong. IE referred to Peter as 'her' or 'she' and I immediately said: 'Peter is a transman, so using feminine pronouns is misgendering him'. I said calling them 'Dude' was not transphobic or misgendering as it is masculine/neutral and used for all genders. In response to the allegation about the image of the baby, I explained that this was in a book called 'Amazing' which was a monograph of the artist Damien Hirst (this book does not exist in real life). I said I could prove that the image was not illegal in any way, although it was 'disturbing'. In response to the firefighter allegation, I just said I had been nervous when teaching that class and I was allowed to be anxious without having it used against me. IE seemed to accept my explanations. 

After the phone call I walked back to DL and told him what had happened. We were going somewhere, although I cannot recall where or why. I managed to find the Damien Hirst book, which had an image of spilled tomato ketchup on the front, and was actually called 'Awesome', not 'Amazing'. I found the image of the baby (which was just a normal image, not at all disturbing or scary) and showed it to DL and a couple of other dream characters, all of whom were standing in front of a large window, proving that the image was not illegal. 

I cannot recall anything else that happened in this dream.

Extra Information: 
No Vitamin B6 taken (forgot)

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • Star Wars as a dream theme

Dreamsigns: 

  • The allegations against me
  • The language used by my supervisor

Day Residue: 
  • On the day of this dream I received an email from the PGR office of my university confirming that my intercalation request was being processed
  • On the day of this dream I had commenting on Facebook tag page/group posts - which usually end up in conflict. On one thread I was arguing with a woman who said she was not willing to refer to transpersons as 'they' and will use 'he' and 'she' depending on whether she perceives them as male or female. She referred to herself as a 'grammar Nazi' despite her own comments being incredibly poorly spelled with atrocious, incorrect grammar. I was poking fun at her hypocrisy of saying 'singular they' is incorrect grammar and her being a grammar Nazi means she is unable to respect trans rights, yet was making so many ironic errors. On another thread we were discussing the actions of a page member who was self-congratulating and virtue signalling for not harassing a woman who had told him his unsolicited messages were making her feel uncomfortable. He posted screenshots of him not being abusive when she asked him to stop texting her weird, creepy messages about staring at/being distracted by her in class and indicated that he was a 'nice guy' for not abusing or insulting her for rejecting him. He said that other men should follow his example. Most of the commenters were calling him out for wanting to celebrate normal, basic human decency and setting the benchmark for male behaviour towards women far too low. One woman (Bonnie) was defending him, saying that she gives praise to all men who are 'nice' to women. We were asking her to stop being such a male apologist and rewarding adults for not being abusive (which should be the default, not the goal). She referred to his actions as 'amazing' which I pointed out to her as being ludicrous. Eventually another woman on the thread exposed the man as having sent her unsolicited sexual message on Facebook, which meant all his apologists/allies/supporters soon backtracked and began to see why he was being problematic, including Bonnie. Note that when I was little I used to have a baby doll named 'Bonnie' 
  • On the day of this dream I had been watching 2 Youtube channels - both of which referred to babies. The first was Grav3yardgirl - I was watching Bunny show a haul of antique baby dolls and doll parts, which she refers to as 'creepy'. The other channel was Scaretheater - I watched his video on 'The Grifter' which is a popular Creepypasta which originated on 4Chan. The thumbnail of Scaretheater's Youtube video is that of a baby (a screenshot from the alleged 'Grifter' video, which is so horrifying it supposedly causes viewers to go insane. experience nausea and nightmares or commit suicide. The myth has been thoroughly debunked and the images used in The Grifter have been traced back to a movie, Little Otik (2000). I also watched a Scaretheater video about a strange Facebook profile called 'Ahenobarbus Henocied' which allegedly targeted children and young people, sending them disturbing images, some of which are thought to have been pornographic and illegal. I have included images associated with 'The Grifter' and the Ahenobarbus Henocied profile (the original profile has been removed from Facebook for violation)
  • A week before this dream DL and I had been discussing gendered pronouns in a conversation about Justin Trudeau, the Canadian Prime Minister, who was recently ridiculed for correcting a woman who used the word 'mankind' (he said we should use the term 'peoplekind'). DL and I agreed that this was unnecessarily pedantic as 'mankind' is not a gendered word in itself when used to refer to humans. I did say that I prefer gender-neutral job titles such as 'chairperson', 'police officer' and notably 'firefighter' 
  • On the day of this dream I had been playing Sims 3 and while I was scrolling the map, noticed that the home of an NPC sim was randomly on fire. I wondered if it was possible to summons a firefighter on behalf of an NPC, but then decided to just allow the game to determine the fate of the house/sims
  • When creating the poorly edited image for Dream 917 - 'I'm a Person, and my Name is Anakin' (Dream Incubation Experiment Success) I actually thought the fisherman's yellow waders reminded me of firefighter uniforms
  • Last semester I was teaching a class in which Star Wars and Jedi were the theme of a problem question about religious discrimination
  • Last week a student emailed me to inform me that they had failed their exam and asked for my advice
  • Approximately a week or so prior to this dream DL and I were discussing Damien Hirst. I am a fan of almost all contemporary 'Young British Artists' who emerged during the 1990s (and own very many art books on this era of art), while DL is not a fan of Hirst. He was telling me about Treasures from the Wreck of the Unbelievable (2017), which is a fake documentary (mockumentary) about the (falsified) discovery of precious antiques and artefacts from a shipwreck and the mythology and legends surrounding it. Conceptually, I think this is an excellent piece of art, as did DL. I have included an image from the Hirst documentary below - mainly because I have a 'phobia' (or 'anxiety' may be a better description) of seeing images of humanoid statues underwater, particularly partially submerged ones. I may have mentioned this elsewhere on this Blog. When I was younger I used to lay in the bath and imagine the bath water was an entire ocean (i.e. all the oceans of the planet together) and I was a huge statue or giant. Whenever I moved and splashed water, I'd imagine I was causing floods (well, tsunamis, but I didn't know that word at the time), killing all the people in the world. I would then freak myself out and have to get out of the bath because the idea of being a partially submerged giant statue in the ocean was terrifying, even if I was 'safe'. I particularly hate seeing a partially submerged Statue of Liberty. This anxiety extends to images of swimmers/ships on the surface of the ocean with large submerged objects under the water, showing the scale (see image below). I have gone into detail about these issues as this is one of the weird similarities I share with Bunny Meyer (Grav3yardgirl) - at least she says she has a phobia of seeing man-made objects submerged under water. We have a lot of very specific things in common, which is one of the reasons I feel extremely connected to her as a person and am constantly amazed at how much I can relate or identify with her, her personality and her tastes/favourite things. I think Bunny's antique baby dolls and Damien Hirst's fake antiques became intertwined in this dream

Waking Reactions: 
This dream represents a fairly complex interweaving of various strands of Day Residue into quite a simple and coherent narrative. 

I think this dream reflects my anxiety about my studies, but also generally my career prospects and performance. I am anxious about many things currently, so this is just one aspect of my life causing me stress, but it seems to be surfacing in my dreams. 

You may have read my previous dream (which took place during the currency of this Dream Incubation Experiment), Dream 908 - 'One Big Confusing Day' in which I was with Youtuber Sam Chapman of Pixiwoo and we met my Nan who told me she had been with my Mum who was unwell and had to visit the doctor. In the dream my Nan told me she had been 'keeping me away from my Mum' while my Mum was unwell. I had analysed the Day Residue which may have influenced this dream and assumed that the reference to my Nan keeping me away from my Mum because my Mum was unwell could have been because I had watched a Pixiwoo video in which Sam Chapman described her depression following her stepfather's recent death from cancer. This made sense because Sam featured in my dream, linking the themes explicitly. I had also noticed that I had even less contact with my Mum than usual. This is where everything becomes more odd, and has made me feel very anxious and depressed recently. In fact I have been 'scared' about dreaming. On 16 February 2018 (so 12 days after I had Dream 908, my Mum phoned me at night and told me that my Nan has been diagnosed with breast cancer. My family have been aware of the problem and attending all the hospital appointments for a while, but were keeping this secret from me so that I did not worry. Now she has been diagnosed and the surgery is scheduled, they had to tell me. My Mum said she was driving right past my house (on campus) to take my Nan to the hospital on so many occasions, yet I knew nothing about it. The majority of my family (although not necessarily my cousins, who I believe were told by their respective parents on the same day as I was) knew about this. I am not suggesting Dream 908 was a precognitive dream in the paranormal ESP sense of me predicting the future - I think maybe I subconsciously picked up on cues (lack of contact with my Mum) and just happened to have correctly guessed the reason, if only by complete coincidence. There are a number of other weird things about this dream. In that post I referred to dream deja vu and linked an old post I wrote on that topic (because I thought I was experiencing dream deja vu in relation to a secondhand bookshop location). That post covers both dream deja-vu and precognitive dreams - in fact it is entitled 'Deja vu & dream precognition'. Again, this could just be one of those strange coincidences which it is easy to interpret as meaningful. I would go into more depth about the oddities I have spotted while re-analysing this dream with the hindsight of knowing about my Nan and her illness, but in all honesty, even writing about it in this post is making me feel depressed and anxious. I just wanted to record it here while it could be somehow linked in to the current post. I may write on this topic again when I feel mentally and emotionally stronger. 

I guess this dream had a subtle Star Wars theme, which is positive, although unsurprising given how much Star Wars related material I come into contact with on a daily basis, even without attempting an Anakin Skywalker Dream Incubation Experiment. 

Screenshot from ''The Grifter' video which are attributed to scenes cut from the movie Little Otik (2000)
The profile picture used by the Ahenobarbus Henocied Facebook account - this was used in a Creepypasta entitled 'Gurgles & Bugman', but is thought to originate from a Japanese online imageboard
Scene from Damien Hirst's Treasure from the Wreck of the Unbelievable (2017)

Tuesday, 20 February 2018

Dream 918

'Bad Fruit Salads'
Date: 20 February 2018
Time: 14:00 - 17:30 (Afternoon Nap)
Type of dream: Normal dream
Dream recall: Normal recall 

This dream was part of my current Dream Incubation Experiment - Anakin Skywalker Dream. Please click HERE for my post on the Dream Incubation Experiment, the Methodology I am using (with instructions for those who also want to attempt to incubate their own dream) and links to my previous Dream Incubation Experiments and previous Star Wars-themed dreams. On that post you will also find an Index for all recorded dreams which take place during this experiment.

Scene 1: Location Unknown
I cannot recall the first part of this dream clearly, although it seemed pretty vivid while I was dreaming it - and was bordering on being a nightmare, albeit because there was a creeping sensation of dread, as opposed to something explicitly nightmarish happening. 

There was something to do with my teeth being very rotten in the back. This is a huge fear for me because I have an extreme phobia of the dentist and have not been since I was 11 years old. I was looking in the back of my mouth (perhaps using a mirror, perhaps seeing this in third-person perspective) and could see lots of black holes in my teeth. I felt worried and stressed about this. 

There was something to do with aliens also, and the switching of one for another. This seems very vague, but I just remember that one thing was being selected/replaced and these 'things' were very tall beings, which within the dream I knew were not human. I have referred to them as 'aliens' but they may have been cyborgs/robots/animals etc, I just cannot recall precisely. This was making me feel overwhelmed and frustrated, although I cannot recall the reasons why. There was a notion of magic/supernatural or at least something so out of the ordinary, that even in the dream I thought it was odd/bizarre and unexpected.

Something to do with travel - perhaps by train? I have a nagging memory that this dream involved trains or public transport of some kind.

My friend CEC was involved in the dream somehow - I cannot recall what was happening. There was something to do with 'possessions' or 'belongings'. 

There was some kind of violence - I think there was also something to do with being trapped/held hostage and that is why violence was necessary. I remember punching someone/something and someone else (a dream character or someone I know from real life) telling me to punch it harder and me trying, but finding it  really hard to swing a strong punch. Eventually whatever I was attacking either succumbed to the attack or I was able to 'win' in some way. There was something to do with a key/unlocking a door.  

Scene 2: A Canteen - Day
I then went to a canteen with my Stepdad. In the dream I knew the previous scene had just happened a short time ago, so there was chronology and a sense of normal passing of time. We were getting breakfast and my Stepdad was able to choose easily, but I was really indecisive. There was a variety of foods available, but my Stepdad was trying to convince me to select toast, which was one of the more boring things. The selection of breakfast foods was vast, but I felt that everything was sterile and dull and just put there for show. I cannot recall any 'cooked' foods either - more like items associated with 'a continental breakfast'. I didn't really want to eat anything. I felt like I had used up all my energy in whatever happened in Scene 1, which I was still thinking about when we went for breakfast. I can't really explain, because I cannot recall Scene 1 enough to describe it, yet I recall Scene 2 really vividly. It was as if I had just experienced/witnessed something magical/supernatural and now here I was stuck in a boring canteen, trying to select a breakfast I didn't really want to eat when I still felt drained and exhausted from whatever happened previously. There was the sense of some overhanging threat or unfinished  business from before which meant I could not really focus on choosing food. 

I saw there was a coffee machine, but the cups stacked nearby were really small - like standard teacups made of cheap white china. I looked at the display to find some larger mugs, and saw there was a stack of larger mugs a short distance away. These were white with blue stripes. I then looked in the fridge and saw there were 2 packs of pre-cut exotic fruit on sale. I saw one which had strawberries, apple, garlic cloves and seeds and was about to select that when a young male dream character from behind me leaned over and took it from the fridge. I then saw the second pack of fruit - also with a reduced price - but this was also taken by a male dream character while I was making up my mind. The 2 packs of fruit had been resting on top of some other boxes, which were filled with rubbish/dirt - or at least something I thought should not be in a fridge used for displaying food for sale to the public.

I stepped a short distance away and saw some more packs of fruit, at the normal price. These also had strawberries in them, and some weird white cone-shaped fruits which I did not recognise in the dream. I tried to read the price tag and had difficulty in understanding what it said, but as I focused on it, was eventually able to read that it was £3.95. I thought this was very expensive for a small pack of fruit, but reasoned that I would be paying for healthy food, so it might be worth it. I picked up the fruit, but then saw that the bottom of the pack was filled with beans in a savoury sauce, which I thought was weird and unappetising, so I left it. 

I wandered over to my Stepdad who was standing at the cash register, talking to a young woman who was in the queue next to him. I recognised her as a member of staff from my university, so I introduced them properly. I cannot recall what else happened at this point. 

Extra Information: 
No Vitamin B6 taken (forgot)

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • My family as dream characters

Dreamsigns: 

  • 'Alien-beings'

Day Residue: 
  • The day before this dream I had been playing Sims 3 and found an alien outside my sim's home, looking in through the window. I got my sim to kill the alien by hitting it with a metal stick
  • On the day of this dream I had been in my university shop looking at items (including packs of fruit) in the reduced/on sale section of the fridge
  • On the day of this dream DL told me he would be buying cereal to eat for dinner
  • Recently when I was staying at a friend's house, I told him I never eat breakfast as I do not have an appetite when I first wake up (I only eat one very large meal per day, and rarely eat snacks in between)

Waking Reactions: 
This dream seemed really long and complex while I was dreaming it. When I woke up from it, I felt as if the dream had been more interesting than usual, although it was - as far as I can recall, based on the record written above - unconnected to my Dream Incubation Experiment. However, I did wake up with a strong sense of having something important or exciting conveyed to me in the dream, so it is frustrating that I cannot remember exactly what led me to feel that.

I am most frustrated that I cannot clearly recall the aspect of the dream which involved violence, as I believe that this is key to me understanding this dream better. 

I think this entire dream could be a reflection of my current mental state, which is characterised by depressed moods, stress, anxiety and frustration. I will post separately on this in due course, as this does have a strong link to previous dreams I have experienced during this Dream Incubation Experiment.

As I recalled more about this dream immediately upon waking, I think that I will probably remember more detail if something is able to successfully trigger the memories. If I do recall anything else, I will record it below. 

Dream 917 (DREAM INCUBATION EXPERIMENT SUCCESS!)

'I'm a Person, and My Name is Anakin'
Date: 19 February 2018
Time: 02:30 - 08:45
Type of dream: Normal dream
Dream recall: Normal recall 

This dream was part of my current Dream Incubation Experiment - Anakin Skywalker Dream. Please click HERE for my post on the Dream Incubation Experiment, the Methodology I am using (with instructions for those who also want to attempt to incubate their own dream) and links to my previous Dream Incubation Experiments and previous Star Wars-themed dreams. On that post you will also find an Index for all recorded dreams which take place during this experiment.

Scene 1: Sheringham - Day
Unfortunately, given this was a successful Dream Incubation Experiment dream, I have forgotten many elements of this dream and can only remember a few details. I forgot the majority of this dream upon awakening, which is not surprising to me as I have recently received some bad news which has had a significant impact on my mental and emotional health, including my sleep. 

I was in Sheringham and there was some kind of celebration taking place, but it was quite underwhelming. A large bank of television screens had been set up in the town, near the seafront. I am not sure what purpose this was to serve, but I think I did know in the dream. I was with various members of my family. I remember the weather was overcast and cloudy, but it was supposedly summertime. 

A short distance away there was a group of dream characters, who I think were local residents of the town, but who I cannot recall specifically. Amongst them were some fishermen who had some musical instruments with them, outside on the pavement. I recall a piano/keyboard and a cello, but there were more. A small child was with the fishermen and I realised that it was young Anakin Skywalker, looking and dressed exactly as he appears in Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999). I did not become lucid when I saw Anakin - my strongest emotion wa disappointment that it was young Anakin, not adult Anakin. I started complaining about this to someone - I think it may have been my Mum. Anakin overheard me and became upset at the 'rejection'. I approached him and found that I was standing beside the sea wall on the promenade. He said some words which were all out of order and unintelligible, but I knew he was saying/trying to say: 'I'm a person, and my name is Anakin'. I am sure that he mentioned that his name was Anakin before he said that he was a person, so the quote may have been back-to-front. My response was: 'You're an annoying person'. I said it in an angry way. Anakin was crying, but he had no tears. He just made a high-pitched wailing sound and his face looked very red. The fishermen (2 of them, both old white men wearing yellow waterproof waders and other items of clothing associated with their profession) told me that I was evil to reject Anakin because he was just a child. I said I did not care and walked away to rejoin my family.

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Extra Information: 
No Vitamin B6 taken (forgot)

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • Star Wars as a dream theme
  • Sheringham as a dream scene location
  • My family as dream characters

Dreamsigns: 

  • I met young Anakin Skywalker

Day Residue: 
  • I fell asleep watching a comedy review (Mr Plinkett via RedLetterMedia on Youtube) of Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) which obviously features a lot of footage of young Anakin Skywalker and includes the scene where Anakin says: 'I'm a person, and my name is Anakin'
  • On the day of this dream I had been playing Sims 3 - 2 of the 4 instruments sims can learn to play are a piano and a cello. My sims got married in a ceremony which took place in a venue with a stage with these instruments in place on it

Waking Reactions: 
This was a successful Dream Incubation Experiment as I had a dream which featured Anakin Skywalker. However, even within the dream I was disappointed to meet Anakin as a young child - my aim is to meet the adult Anakin. Nevertheless, this was an exciting dream, signalling some progress in my Dream Incubation Experiment, which I will be continuing for the near future.