Sunday, 16 August 2015

Dream 470

'Everyone's a Hater, Except Jay-Z'
Dream date: 7 August 2015
I am returning to my former method of dream reporting, where I break dreams down into separate, labelled dream scenes.

Scene 1: 'Cromer Road, Sheringham/Broadway, New York', -Dusk/Night
I was in NYC - I think I was on some kind of school/university trip, but had walked off on my own. The road I was on was apparently 'Broadway' but it was a composite of Broadway (where I have actually visited many years ago) and Cromer Road, in Sheringham. I was walking towards the town and was nearly at the Tescos store, when I turned around and looked at the opposite side of the road. I saw Jay-Z, who had been riding a bicycle, but had stopped (he was sitting on the bike, with his feet on the floor). He was turned around, watching me and I was aware he was attracted to me and was pleased, because he is one of my favourite musicians. I kept turning round to look at him and saw he was constantly looking back at me. I saw there were different buildings - taller ones than are present on Cromer Road - making the scene appear to be a composite of the small town and the big city at once. I noticed there were other dream characters (pedestrians) and cars in this scene, which I do not think I noticed at first. 

Scene 2: My Bedroom, Norwich - Time Unknown

I was in my bedroom in Norwich with my academic supervisor, IE, who is a youngish man, although older than I am. We were sitting on my bed, discussing something to do with my PhD thesis. I mentioned Muslim women being subjected to 'acid attacks' and my supervisor stood up and started shouting that I was 'a Republican'. I said that I was a left-wing liberal and British (i.e. not a right-wing American) and we engaged in a heated argument. IE was stood by my desk/window, gesticulating at me (i.e. waving his hands and pointing) and his voice was raised throughout. I was unable to passify him or change his mind about me. I felt both angry and affronted by my supervisor's behaviour and accusations towards me. I decided the best thing to do would be to contact my university and ask them to give me a new supervisor on the basis that my relationship with IE had broken down beyond repair.

Scene 3: A Posh Party in a Mansion with a Large Garden - Dusk/Night
I was then in a party which was held in a house with a massive ballroom. The ballroom was crowded with dream characters, all of whom were wearing formal black-tie dress and masquerade masks covering half of their faces. Most of the female dream characters were dressed in white or pale coloured ball gowns. Classical music was playing. Everyone was drinking from champagne flutes. I wandered around the ballroom and then decided to go outside. In the garden, I could see it was dusk. The garden was just one massive lawn with some lights, which looked like street lamps. There was a structure in the garden, which looked like a flight of stairs - although this led to nowhere and I could not see what was at the top. Underneath these stairs were some dream characters, sat on the grass. With them was DL. I knew all of these persons, even though I cannot recall who the other dream characters were. DL was saying to me: 'Where are the party tickets?' and he seemed angry. I am not sure if I replied or just walked off. 

I went back inside the ballroom and DL eventually came up to me. He was saying that the party was rubbish as there were not enough guests there (there seemed to be lots of guests there!). He was moaning at me and seemed to blame me for him not having a good time. I was annoyed at his behaviour and felt he was being unfair and ignorant. It transpired that I had 2 tickets to the party and he wanted to buy them from me for £15. He was reluctant (because the party was 'rubbish') and I was keen to sell them. DL then bought the tickets (which were A4 pieces of paper) from me. I decided to go back to Broadway, New York to try and find Jay-Z. I was planning to seduce him.

Scene 4: Broadway, New York - Night
I was in a car, although I am not sure who was driving. We were on Broadway, New York, but this time it looked much more like it does from memory (I have been there before) and from media images I have seen of it. I was looking out of the car window to try and spot Jay-Z. I eventually saw him standing by the side of the road with some male dream characters who were his friends. I was excited and knew Jay-Z would be pleased to see me. 

I woke up.

TIME: 03:00 - 10:30 hours (this dream took place just before I woke up)
LUCIDITY: NONE
SPECIAL NOTES: 

Dream Information:

  • My PhD thesis is on 'third-party child anonymity' - it is about how human rights (privacy and freedom of expression/open justice) are balanced in cases where a child will suffer significant social or psychological harm if the media published details of their parents who are suspected/charged or convicted of serious criminal offences

Dreamsigns:
  • Cromer Road in Sheringham was experienced as Broadway in New York (C - Context/ F - Form)
  • I saw Jay-Z and he fancied me (C - Context)
  • I would never sit on my bed with my academic supervisor and the conversation we had in the dream would never take place in real-life (IA - Inner Awareness/C - Context)
  • Strange structure like a flight of stairs (F - Form)
  • I was able to get to Broadway, New York, without having to travel there by crossing the Atlantic (A - Action)

Recurrent Dream Themes:
None of note

Potential Day/Dream Residue:
  • On 28 July 2015 I wrote a Facebook status about how I think Jay-Z is becoming more attractive with age
  • The Republican Party has been in the news a lot recently due to publicity relating to the campaigns ahead of the US Elections in 2016. I oppose everything the American Republican Party represents
  • On 5 August 2015 I had a meeting with my supervisor in which we discussed politics - namely how the Conservative Party want to repeal the Human Rights Act 1998, which will render my PhD thesis more difficult since I am analysing cases decided under this piece of legislation

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
This dream confused me for 2 reasons; the fact that I saw a dream scene location which was a composite of Cromer Road, Sheringham and Broadway, NYC - which look nothing alike; and the scene with my supervisor, IE. I found the latter aspect of this dream quite unsettling, as I have never had a disagreement with my supervisor before and in the dream he was accusing me of holding a political opinion/stance which is ideologically opposed to my own (I am anti-gun ownership, pro-choice, believe in a complete separation of church and state, and advocate complete equality for all, irrespective of race/ethnicity, gender, orientation etc). 

Sunday, 9 August 2015

New Youtube Video - A Complete Guide to Remembering Your Dreams & Dream Journals

Here is my latest Youtube video, which presents a complete guide to remembering your dreams and keeping a dream journal. 

There is a relevant article included in my Lucid Dreaming for Beginners Tutorial Series - 'Dream Journals, Dreamsigns & Reality Checks' and you may wish to check out my recent article on 'Day Residue & Dream Residue' (click on the red links to be taken to the appropriate posts, which will open in a new window).


Please like my videos by giving them the 'thumbs up' and subscribe to my channel! You can find the Tallulah La Ghash Youtube Channel by clicking on this link! 
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Friday, 7 August 2015

Dream 469 (FALSE AWAKENING)

'Chippenwood Bow'
Dream date: 6 August 2015 (Afternoon Nap)
The first part of my dream is not recalled - although I remember it was all in black/white/grey tones and I thought this was odd while in the dream itself. I thought: 'I never have black and white dreams'. This is the only memory I have of this dream scene - that there was no colour and I was able to recognise I was experiencing a different kind of dream than normal (I was Pre-Lucid or Semi-Lucid).

I then saw a house which was 2 storeys high and narrow. There were no surrounding houses. It was made of red brick and looked like a typical 'new build' starter home which you tend to see on many housing estates in the UK. There was a sense of emptiness looking at this house. I have created a visual representation of the house, below.

It was daylight and everything was very yellow, as if this was in the desert or a sandy area. I did not feel as if I was part of the dream scene or in this dream environment, it was more like I was looking at an image from a distance - viewing it remotely. I was telling someone (unseen) that I needed to find a name for this house and was thinking of options. I then 'realised' (suddenly) that the house was in London. I kept thinking of the name 'Saltham', which is a fictional town/city I devised for my (real-life) novel (which has a dreaming theme). I then reminded myself that 'Saltham' is not in London, so this house was not part of my fictional town/city. I started thinking about my novel and the fact that my main character needed a fictional part of London to visit (this is not actually true of my novel - my main character does not visit London and I had no plan to write a scene where she does). It then occurred to me that the house was called 'Chippenwood Bow' (I do not know what this phrase relates to or whether I have heard of it before). This dream scene was speech/thought-based with no action or movement.

I then had a false awakening. There was no sleep paralysis or anything to indicate it was a false awakening. In the false awakening, my bedroom seemed normal, as it does in real-life, although it was much darker than it should have been, which I did not acknowledge at the time, as I had taken an afternoon nap when it was light, but had not set an alarm clock to wake me, so had no notion of what time it might be. I looked at my mobile and noticed that it was 22:00 hours (when I actually woke up later, it was 21:13 hours, so this confirmed the false awakening. I also had a text from PS - which was sent around about 21:00 hours, and probably woke me up). I then heard voices of children outside my window - I am not sure if they were really there and I heard them through my sleep or whether they were part of my dream.

I then entered another dream scene. In this scene there was something happening involving me, other dream characters and some suitcases or boxes. I cannot recall any of this in any detail, so it remains hazy and mainly forgotten. In the midst of this forgotten action, I was kneeling in front of my wardrobe in my bedroom in Norwich. I was looking for any cannabis which might be in the wardrobe. My wardrobe had a wooden shelf, about a foot of so from the floor. This is not there in real-life. On the shelf there were small pieces of hash, which I was collecting, hoping there would be enough to roll a joint with. I then saw there was some cannabis (skunk) wrapped in some cellophane, but only a tiny bit. I was fiddling around with these small fragments of cannabis/hash while talking to someone (an unseen or unrecalled - not sure which) dream character who was in my room. I unwrapped the cannabis from the cellophane and noticed that there was much more than I had first thought. It seemed to get bigger before my eyes. 

I cannot remember anything else about this dream.

TIME: 18:30 - 22:00 hours (I think this dream happened towards the end of my sleep, based on the above observations)
LUCIDITY: YES - Pre/Semi-Lucid as I was able to recognise (partially) that there was something odd about me dreaming in black and white. I did not recognise the false awakening, however
SPECIAL NOTES: 

Dream Information:
None of note

Dreamsigns:
  • I knew it was odd that I dreamed in black and white (IA - Inner Awareness)
  • The house in the desert-like location was actually in 'London' (IA - Inner Awareness/F - Form)
  • My wardrobe had a shelf (F - Form)
  • The cannabis grew in size while I was looking at it (A - Action/F- Form)

Recurrent Dream Themes:
  • Suitcases/boxes
  • Cannabis
  • My wardrobe

Potential Day/Dream Residue:
None of note

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
This dream left me with a weird feeling - it wasn't experienced the same way as my 'normal' dreams - there was a feeling of remoteness and disconnection and this left me with a sense of unease and incompleteness. The best way to describe it is that something was left unresolved in the dream and I feel as if I forgot some important or significant aspects of the final scene which might shed some light as to why I woke up thinking this. I was quite depressed when I woke up from this dream - and I assume it was as a result of dream residue.

* I am aware that I have forgotten some aspects of this dream, but if I recall them, I will record them below.

New Youtube Video on Day Residue & Dream Residue

Here is my latest video which is on Day Residue & Dream Residue. You can find my accompanying article on this topic by clicking on this link: 'Day Residue & Dream Residue'.


Please like my videos by giving them the 'thumbs up' and subscribe to my channel! You can find the Tallulah La Ghash Youtube Channel by clicking on this link! 
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You can also interact directly with Tallulah La Ghash (me!) by commenting on the Facebook Page. I will try to respond to everyone who joins my online community and wishes to engage with me!

Also remember you can follow/tweet @TallulahLaGhash on Twitter.

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Thursday, 6 August 2015

Day Residue & Dream Residue

Day residue is a concept which featured in Sigmund Freud's psychoanalytical theory of dreaming, outlined in The Interpretation of Dreams (1900). 

To read my previous articles on Freudian dream interpretation, please click here and here.

Freud initially argued that the interpretation of almost every dream was based on the idea of 'wish fulfilment' and the content of dreams is influenced by 'day residue' - the events of the previous day ('the dream day'). These events may be trivial - ordinary everyday events or trains of thought which stimulate preconscious associations to various themes and issues, leading to the arousal of repressed, subconscious wishes and desires.

In young children, dreams appear to be straightforward wish fulfilments aroused by the 'dream day', but in adults, the situation is more complex, as the symbolism of the dream is significantly distorted. The 'manifest content' of the dream is a heavily censored (by the ego as a form of 'defence') and symbolised derivative of latent dream-thoughts which exist in the subconscious mind of the dreamer. This distortion and censoring conceals the true meaning and nature of the dream, making it unrecognisable. These resistances prevent the repressed wishes of the subconscious from entering the conscious, and it is only through dreams which they find their expression, albeit under a 'veil of disguise'. 

According to Freud, the elements of dream-work include the following processes:
  • Condensation – Two or more latent thoughts are combined/spliced into one manifest dream character/scene/situation
  • Displacement – Instead of the directing the emotional response – i.e. fear/desire onto towards the intended person/object, it is transferred onto meaningless/unrelated persons/objects
  • Symbolism – Complex or vague concepts are converted into a symbolic dream image. The concept may be converted semantically (similar sounding words) or less intrusive/intimidating visual images. Freud viewed most dream symbols as having a latent sexual meaning – elongated, erect, inflated objects were thought to symbolise the male penis, whilst concave or vessel-like objects represented the female. Castration was also another theme used by Freud – represented by symbols such as amputation, hair/tooth loss etc.
  • Secondary revision – this is the stage during which Freud stated that the dream would lose ‘the appearance of absurdity or incoherence’ – by reconciling contradictions and attempting to re-organise the dream into a pattern consistent with the subject’s experience of life.

Freud believed that dreams are compromises which ensure that sleep is not interrupted - if presented in their true form, the subconscious wishes would be too arousing or disturbing to the dreamer and would wake him up. Freud also described 'screen memories' - memories which function to hide - and derivatively express - other subconscious mental material. Freud described 3 kinds of 'screen memory':
  • A childhood memory 'screens' or conceals another childhood event which is contemporary to it
  • A later memory which represents a 'screened' childhood event
  • A childhood memory represents a later event

Freud termed the latter type, a 'retrogressive screen memory'. Academics often suggest that day residue and screen memories are linked - they are closely related elements of the dreamer's past and present experiences which are displaced from his more central instinctual concerns.

The 'first dream' of Freud's psychoanalytical theory of dream interpretation - which inspired his sub-theory of wish fulfilment was that of 'Irma's Injection' (click on the red link to be taken to my article on this dream). Freud used the dream as a template to show how he used the manifest content of the dream to trigger associations (thoughts, memories, emotions etc) to decode the latent content. He used this dream to explain how day residue operates in relation to his theory of wish fulfilment. Freud stated:

You entirely disregard the apparent connections between the elements in the manifest dream and collect the ideas that occur to you in connection with each separate element of the dream by free association according to the psychoanalytic rule of procedure. From this material you arrive at the latent dream-thoughts, just as you arrived at the patient's hidden complexes from his associations to his symptoms and memories... The true meaning of the dream, which has now replaced the manifest content, is always clearly intelligible. 
[Freud, Five Lectures on Psycho-Analysis (1909), Lecture Three]

Dreams are therefore full of 'day residue' which are the leftover thoughts and feelings from the 'dream day', and conversely, we often experience 'dream residue' when we wake up. Dream residue is the leftover thoughts and emotions from our dreams, even if we fail to remember exactly what we experienced. Dream residue often feels like a 'dream hangover'. 

Esoteric thinkers often refer to this as 'astral repercussion', but this idea falls within the more spiritualist theories of dreaming and has no place in my own dream practices. 

The 'Vigilance Theory' of dreaming, forwarded by Antti Revonsuo, states that in dreams, the brain rehearses patterns of challenge and opportunity, preparing the dreamer to act and think more effectively when certain real-life situations arise in the future. This is a biologically and psychologically important function, regardless of whether we remember our dreams or not. 

Dream residue is responsible for the phenomenon of 'dream deja-vu' - although we often fail to comprehend this is taking place and may interpret it as being some form of extra-sensory perception or psychic ability. In fact, it is likely that we have experienced something similar to a waking event in an earlier dream.

Day residue is often overlooked or ignored - dreamers may notice scenes or associations to their waking lives and consider them to be a less interesting aspect of dreaming than more fantastical dream content or themes. Many dreamers who are interested in analysing and interpreting their own dreams discard the day residue elements of their dreams because they seem unimportant, uninteresting and easy to recognise as relating to waking life events. Instead, focus is placed on the more bizarre or obscure elements of the dream. 

In fact, Freud would argue that almost all of our dreams are composed almost entirely of day residue - if we define day residue as being the accumulation of our waking experiences and memories. It is debated as to whether you can ever dream anything completely original which has not been influenced by a waking memory or event. Day residue is endlessly interesting - especially the way our dreams weave together sensory snapshots of our waking lives into new, complex and highly symbolic patterns and plots. 

Domhoff (2000) suggests that many dreams contain no dream residue at all - but it could be countered that the day residue may be present, but not properly identified by the dreamer (due to it being altered in the dream presentation). It may also be that there is a longer temporal duration between the waking events and the incorporation of the memory fragments into the dream (see below).

Hartmann (2010) also disputes the prevalence of day residue in dream content. He argues that dreams are always a new, unique creation, not a replay of the day's waking events. Each dream contains a new set of connections. He states that the dream will change the day residue and embroider it into a new plot with new associations. This does not rule out the presence of day residue however; it just means that instead of replaying waking events, the dreamer re-imagines them in a new storyline which means they might not be easily identifiable on reflection. However, it has been found that dreams very rarely contain an exact repeat of a waking memory ('episodic memory') in which a real-life event is re-enacted in detail. Episodic memories are thought to occur in less than 2% of dreams.

Freud also believed that all 'dream speech' is a reflection of memories of speech which have actually been heard/read by the dreamer in their waking life, although scholars such as Meier (1993) have argued against this, stating that many dreams contain entirely unique and new constructions of dream speech which are directly related to the content or theme of the dream, not a reproduction of speech from memory. 

Patrick McNamara refers to 'the dream lag effect' which is where the dreamer experiences residue from a week or so ago, as opposed to the preceding 'dream day'. He suggests that this occurs because sometimes it may take up to a week for certain material to be encoded into the long-term memory. Some of the imagery/material (of the memory) which is being consolidated then appears in the dream - the dream is the process of memory consolidation. The dream lag effect was originally suggested by Nielsen & Powell (1989) and the effect was subsequently replicated in later studies (Nielsen et al, 2004; Blagrove et al, 2010).

Some research - cited in Nielsen & Powell (1992) - suggest that the temporal delay between the event of the 'dream day' and the appearance of the memory as day residue within the dream is at least 24 hours. The evidence comes from anecdotal studies of dreaming and the day residue effect. I can accurately state - and provide ample evidence from my own dream journal - that this is not true for me. I often experience incredibly obvious day residue relating to events which happened only hours before the dream. This has also been confirmed by Hartmann (2010).

A number of single and multiple participant studies into dreaming and day residue have supported the hypothesis that dreamers are twice as likely to experience dreams which incorporate day residue from 1 day before the dream (65 - 70% of recorded dreams) than day residue from 2 days before the dream (30 - 35% of recorded dreams). These studies tend to prove Freudian theory to be largely correct, although not every dream contains day residue as defined by events from the 'dream day' (i.e. the preceding day only), but sometimes, material from longer ago (i.e. this is the dream lag effect in operation). A study by JA Henley-Einion & MT Blagrove (2014) found that there is a high incorporation of events from the 'dream day' on the first night then a decrease for the subsequent 2 - 4 nights which is followed by a resurgence in incorporation of events 5 - 7 days after they took place (the dream lag effect).

This basically means that dreams seem to favour material from the previous day, or material from 5 - 7 days preceding the dream.

Nielson & Powell et al (2004) also found that the dream lag effect was more prominent in dreamers who viewed their dreams as an opportunity for gaining insight and self-understanding - in the study it was discovered that such dreams often involved the resolution of a waking problem - typically linked to personal or emotional aspects of relationships - which had been troubling the dreamer. It was hypothesised that the delay between the waking event and the dream incorporation which occurs in the dream lag effect may be the mind's way of working through interpersonal difficulties and the 'reformulation' of negative memories into more positive ones. A study by Cartwright et al (1998) showed that dreams may be involved in emotional memory processing. 

Michel Jouvet (1979) claims that 2 qualitatively different memory process are involved: day residue is linked to the short-term memory functions, while the dream lag effect is linked to the long-term memory. He states that day residue contains no information about the physical features of the waking environment, while dream lag material is able to reproduce spatial dimensions of the waking environment. 

Tarnow (2003) also links dreams with the processes of the long-term memory. He suggests that dreams are excitational responses to waking perceptions and thoughts which are only apparent when the dreamer is asleep. Tarnow supports and re-interprets Freud's theory, suggesting that the dream-work described by Freud is the pre-dream 'storage transformation' of these thoughts and perceptions into the long-term memory.

A very recent study by E van Rijn et al (2015) found that the dream lag effect only occurs in dreams which take place during the REM sleep stage. 

Dreams can occur in every stage of the sleep cycle, but tend to be more fragmented when experienced in the later stages of sleep. These fragmented dreams tend to be a mishmash of prior experiences and disconnected memories which are pasted together in random ways. During NREM sleep, dreams are shorter, but more cohesive and structurally organised, relating to waking events. REM sleep is characterised by longer, more vivid, but bizarre and disjointed dreams - also incorporating waking memories and material (day residue), but in more complex ways, especially when experienced in the later REM stages of the sleep cycle. 

Considering exactly where these memory fragments are coming from and how they are connected to one another may provide an explanation for the distinction between early and late-night dreams. 

The various elements of an episode (i.e. a waking life event) are thought to be stored in the neocortex, but they are not necessarily linked together to form a complete representation of the event/memory. Each piece of sensory information involved in the waking event is represented by a different area of the neocortex and even though they combine together to make up a complete memory, the various neocortical areas may not be directly interlinked. 

Instead, the hippocampus keeps track of such connections and forms the appropriate linkages, at least during the time in which the memory is relatively fresh. However, communication between the neocortex and hippocampus is disrupted during sleep and as a result, this process is also disrupted. During REM sleep, both the hippocampus and those parts of the neocortex which are involved in a current dream are strongly active, but they don’t appear to be in communication with one another. 

Instead, responses in the neocortex occur independently, without hippocampal input, so they must relate to memory fragments rather than linked multi-sensory representations. Essentially, when memories which have been stored in the neocortex are accessed or activated during REM, they remain fragmentary instead of drawing in other aspects of the same memory to form a complete episodic replay. 

These fragments are not linked together in the way they might be if you though of the same event/memory while you were awake (or indeed in NREM sleep). For instance, cortical representations of both someone who was present during the waking event and the location of the event (from the 'dream day') may be triggered, but these will not necessarily be linked together, and they may not be linked to the actual theme of the waking event at all. Instead, seemingly unrelated characters and events may be activated in conjunction with the memory of this event. 

One possible factor is the stress hormone cortisol, which increases steadily across the night. High cortisol concentrations can block communication between the hippocampus and neocortex, and since concentrations are much higher early in the morning, this could provide a physiological reason for the disjointed properties of late-night (i.e. early morning) dreams occurring at the end of the sleep cycle.

I now always attempt to identify and explain my day residue in my dream journal. I use the term 'day residue' to cover both events from the preceding 'dream day' and also material from longer (i.e. the dream lag effect). This is for ease of reference and to simplify the process. To me, seeing my day residue appear in my dreams is exciting and insightful - since I have been practicing this method of recording and analysing my dreams, I have refrained from thinking of the seemingly innocuous occurrences of day residue as being 'banal' or insignificant and have tried to use the information to shed some light into why certain waking events have been incorporated into my dream, their subconscious associations and how they relate to my mental activity. I would urge everyone interested in dreaming and dream interpretation to do the same!

Dream 468

'Chris'
Dream date: 5 August 2015
I was sitting on a bench outside, in daylight. I was to the left side and next to me, on the right, was NN. In front of us was a building, which may have been a school. It was large and red brick and there were many dream characters in the surrounding area. 

CB came and stood in front of us. NN was in charge of CB - she was looking after him, or had some kind of special relationship with him (he appeared as he did when we were friends, so the teenaged version of him, as I have not seen him as an adult in real-life - we went to different colleges and lost touch). I asked NN what she was doing with CB and she started telling me about how great he was. I 'remembered' a real-life memory of my mum mistaking CB for a girl. I thought to myself (I cannot remember having this thought in real-life, so it must have originated in the dream itself): 'CB looks like a younger version of 'Neil' from The Young Ones'. CB then started to look more like, JCS, which confused me. The CB/JCS character was quite passive in the dream - I cannot recall him saying anything - it was just NN and I doing the conversing, while he stood and stared at us. I am not sure what he was wearing. 

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

TIME: 06:00 - 11:00 hours (I am not sure when this dream took place)
LUCIDITY: NO
SPECIAL NOTES: 

Dream Information:
  • NN is a female friend from Sheringham, who I have known my entire childhood
  • CB was a male friend at high school. He was a skateboarder who liked to get stoned and had longish hair. On one occasion, CB called round to my house (when I was in high school) and my mum mistook him for a girl because he was smaller and skinnier than many of the other boys our age. This was the memory referenced in the dream. While in the process of typing this dream, I recalled the following facts about CB: he broke his arm once, skateboarding; he was hit by a bus (it drove over his foot, causing non-serious injuries); and lived in Baconsthorpe. He once asked me to write him a short horror story, and I did - about a possessed doll - which he seemed to enjoy. I liked socialising with CB because he was much nicer to get along with than many of the boys our age
  • The character of 'Neil' in The Young Ones is played by Nigel Planer
  • JCS is another male friend from my school year. As adults, we went on one date, but it went nowhere because I thought we were too incompatible - JCS is in the army and I was morally and politically opposed to the war in Iraq which was happening at this time. Not only am I not suitable to be the typical 'army wife' (because I do not feel I could be a supportive and committed partner of someone who was abroad fighting in a war zone or on a tour of duty for months), but also I do not like the cultural climate of the army and feel my left-wing, super-liberal political position - and his more conservative, nationalist stance would cause insurmountable problems and conflict between us

Dreamsigns:
  • CB started to change into JCS (A - Action)

Recurrent Dream Themes:
  • School/learning institution?
  • NN as a dream character

Potential Day/Dream Residue:
  • I have recently discussed - and been in conversation - with various people from my high school who were part of my group of friends - this wider group included both CB and JCS
  • A few days before this dream I had a conversation with PS in which I told him that HL and I do not speak to each other (in contrast to PS and I who still remain in contact). This made me think about HL and how our relationship ended (see *Recalled Dream Scene, below)

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
No specific waking thoughts and emotions, other than the idea that this dream seemed much longer than my memory of it suggests. I was also surprised that CB was a dream character as I have not had reason to think about him - and cannot remember once thinking about him - in over 10 years. I have - since recording this dream, today - tried to find him on Facebook, but I cannot see a profile for him or anyone of his name with mutual friends. I cannot locate him in my school year photo, which may be because I have overlooked him, or perhaps he was not present at school on that day. 

* I feel that I have probably forgotten some aspects of this dream, as my waking perception was that it had been much longer than a single scene. If I remember anything else, I will record it below.

* Recalled Dream Scene (6 August 2015, 03:13 hours)
I had written a status on my Facebook page and was logged onto my Facebook, looking to see if anyone had responded/replied to it. My ex-boyfriend, HL (who I am not friends with on Facebook) had written a comment (I cannot recall what it was). I was surprised, because (a) we are not friends on Facebook or in real-life; and (b) the comment was really friendly. I was double-checking to make sure I hadn't misread the profile name - because I am friends with HL's brother, PL and their names are exactly the same, except for the first letter of their first name (they rhyme!). The comment was definitely from HL.
Memory Trigger: I was on Facebook, looking at the photographs of someone who is friends with HL when I suddenly remembered this dream scene. I think the reason I forgot about it was that it seemed so 'normal' and commonplace that I accepted it as part of my real-life, rather than as part of my dream - and then, because it was banal, just forgot about it altogether, until my mind was focused on my dream memories at the same time I was browsing Facebook and specifically thinking about HL.

Tuesday, 4 August 2015

Dream 467

'Injecting  Some Heroin'
Dream date: 31 July 2015
I was in a room with PS - it was a room which was unfamiliar to me in real-life and we were sitting beside each other on a bed, at the top. I was sitting closest to the window/wall. I was planning to take some heroin, intravenously. I had a tourniquet on my left upper arm (a brown leather belt) and was tapping at the vein to get it to raise up. PS handed me a syringe full of heroin. I injected it (or he injected me) into the vein of my arm, but through the tourniquet first. I thought that this wasn't the way you were supposed to inject heroin and then doubted that I would get a strong effect from it, because some of it would have remained in the leather and not got through to my vein. I then stood up and got off the bed. I felt dizzy and hazy, but not the way I would expect heroin to make me feel. I was standing at the end of the bed, saying to PS: 'I don't know why people take this to block out their problems, because it's far too weak to help!' I was confused and disappointed. I was strongly aware that the heroin had no pain-relieving qualities as an opiate should. I could see some candles burning on a table next to me - the flame/smoke looked 'fizzy'.

I was then in a classroom, sitting on a desk. There were some other dream characters present - other students (unrecalled, but known to me in the dream) and a teacher. I had a thesis which had been printed and leather-bound. It was for a PhD in History of Art - and was based on the 'art' from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I was sitting on a table, flicking through my 'thesis' and saw there were many black and white illustrations included, but they looked like poor quality photocopies. I was also aware that I was doing a consecutive PhD in Law (based on my actual real-life subject matter) as well. I was upset that I had 'wasted' my History of Art research funding to work on Buffy, since it is not a TV show I am interested in anymore (I used to be as a teenager) and it was 'inconsequential' and pointless to have dedicated an entire thesis to it. I wondered if my Law thesis would be better quality and felt overwhelmed by how much work I had yet to do. The teacher told me I should hand my thesis in to be marked.

I was then in a dark office - and was aware it was a law firm (criminal defence) and my place of work. I was working on a rape case and was discussing cross-examination of the complainant and prosecution witnesses. NN was present and she said she would be handling the cross-examination - working as the defence barrister. I was shocked and upset, because she had been favoured for my job, despite her not being qualified. I realised I should have done a pupillage which would give me rights of audience in Crown Court. I was so angry, I got up from the desk we were sitting at and started pacing around the room. I then walked over to another desk - this time in the corner. NN was dressed in barrister's robes, preparing for the case. AS was present. I asked him how NN had been favoured for a job which she was not qualified for, when this was something I could do. AS said NN had been fast-tracked through a short-course to prepare her to be a lawyer. I asked why I had not been given the same treatment as her and he said: 'You didn't fuck anyone'. I then decided I might use my sexuality as a means to obtain my own advantage and jumped on AS, wrapping my legs around his waist.

I was then in a supermarket, looking at a shelf. I found 2 cauliflowers, which I put in my shopping basket. They were reduced and had large yellow price stickers on them.

The scene changed and I was at my nan's house in Sheringham, in my bedroom. I was holding a book which related to a family. It was a guide to prepare me for looking after the family and I was discussing the situation with DL. I am not sure why I was tasked with caring for a family, and the dream did not offer any explanation. The book was large and pink and white on the cover. I have forgotten many aspects of this dream scene, but at one stage, I turned around and saw a small white female child behind me. She was known as 'the 7 year old mother' and I was disgusted as she was far too young for such a role.

I was then getting dressed - and put on a black dress. I was planning to meet someone - I think it was DL. I was aware that the black dress was new and I wanted to find the right shoes to wear with it. However, as DL is the same height as me (and I did not want to tower over him), this meant all the high heels I owned were out of the question, leaving me with little other choice. I was sitting in front of my wardrobe (I think it was my real-life wardrobe, which would indicate that I was in my bedroom in Norwich, although I could not tell for sure as it was dark and I could only see the wardrobe door, nothing else). I selected a pair of black ankle boots, with burgundy slouchy socks which were visible above them. I wondered if the combination of the dress and the boots/socks made my legs appear shorter and fatter (it did and would in real-life). I decided that this was the best outfit I could put together and should stick with it. I then noticed that there was a full-length mirror on the wardrobe door - this is not there in real-life (if we assume the wardrobe was the one in my real-life home, as indicated above). I left the house (I cannot recall anything else about it to indicate precise location) and went out. It was grey and rainy. I met DL.

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

TIME: 07:00 - 14:30 hours (I am note sure when this dream took place)
LUCIDITY: NO
SPECIAL NOTES: 

Dream Information:

  • PS is my ex-boyfriend
  • I have undergraduate degrees in English Literature & History of Art and Law. I am currently doing a PhD in Law and have a forthcoming academic supervisory meeting
  • NN is my friend from childhood - she is a trained hairdresser and mother of two
  • AS is a former work colleague. Due to my synaesthesia, AS always creates the impression of a number 57 in my mind - this looks, feels and smells like cold steel/metal

Dreamsigns:
  • I would never take heroin (IA - Inner Awareness)
  • The burning candles looked 'fizzy' (A - Action/F- Form)
  • My PhD subject matter had changed and was something which I would never write a thesis on anyway (IA - Inner Awareness)
  • NN is not trained in Law (IA - Inner Awareness/C - Context)
  • I was looking after a family which included a 7 year old mother (A - Action/C - Context)

Recurrent Dream Themes:
  • PS as a dream character
  • Drugs
  • Being in a classroom or enrolled at a learning institution

Potential Day/Dream Residue:
  • I am writing a horror novel which involves a scene where heroin is injected 
  • Shortly before this dream I had read an article on Stephen King's IT (1986) - my own novel contains the character 'Pennywise the Dancing Clown'. In the article, Derry Maine, was likened to the 'Hellmouth' which exists in Sunnydale, the fictional town which features in Buffy the Vampire Slayer
  • I was trying to choose the career of my main character in my novel - and had loosely decided on a PhD in History of Art
  • Shortly before this dream I had been discussing synaesthesia 
  • Several years ago, I did suffer from unequal treatment while working in a law firm, as my peer (who was not as far through her training as me) received benefits such as fee payment, study leave, a huge wage increase and greater responsibility as a result of an extra-marital affair (and subsequent chaotic relationship, when their respective partners found out and it came out in the open) with our much older boss (the owner of the firm). Despite me being more competent and further through my training, I received none of the support and assistance she did - because I wasn't having a sexual relationship with the boss. Shortly before this dream I was discussing this form of gender-based nepotism in the workplace, because I admit it still makes me feel bitter that I was forced to resign from my job and didn't instigate legal proceedings against my boss for unfair treatment
  • I went to sleep and had this dream planning to buy 2 cauliflowers when I woke up
  • I had been wondering what I should wear (just before I went to sleep) and when I woke up, I was suddenly aware (as a result of the dream) that I had a new black dress I had not yet worn!

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
I enjoyed this dream at the start because I got the chance to inject heroin, which is something I would never ever do in real-life. However, I was disappointed that the experience was not realistic (based on knowledge about the effects of drugs and anecdotes from heroin users I am friends with). The rest of the dream was pretty unexciting and did not create any lasting waking thoughts and emotions. other than annoyance and agitation at the scene in which NN was given my dream job (which I am qualified for) despite having no formal higher education qualifications outside of hairdressing - thoughts like this remind me that I have not met my own potential, leading to concerns that I have used my intellect and ability inadequately.

* I have forgotten some of the later parts of this dream, but if I recall them later, I will record them below.

Lucid Dreams, False Awakenings & the REM Rebound Effect

Here are two new videos I have made for my Youtube channel. These videos are about 4 lucid dream/false awakening experiences I had over a period of 2 weeks and the possible causes and effect relationship between lucid dreaming and various factors -  such as sleep deprivation, alcohol consumption, cannabis use and vitamin pills. I discuss the REM rebound effect.

One (top) is a longer version, with full captions providing definitions and explanations. The other (bottom) is a shorter version.

The Blog posts which relate to the content of these videos are as follows (click on the title - link will open in a new page):




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Dream 466 (FALSE AWAKENING)

'Police Questioning'
Dream date: 29 June 2015 (Afternoon Nap)
My academic supervisor, IE, was walking around and I was following him. He was being impatient with me because I could not walk quick enough. I do not know why I had to follow him or what our actual task/goal was. I am unaware of the specific environment we were in, but it was outside and sunny.

I came back to my house, which looked different from how it normally does. I was still living in the house next to the path, on the end of a row of terraces, but it felt like these houses were in a different location - perhaps Sheringham - by appearance. However, it transpired (in dream thoughts and conclusions drawn from conversation in this scene) that I was still living on my university campus, despite appearances. As I approached my front door - which had bushes or trees surrounding it (not there in real-life), I noticed that all my colleagues were outside their front doors. They were not my actual real-life colleagues, but 'dream characters' instead, although I did not realise this at the time. There was a young, white male police officer (in uniform), with a pocket notebook, questioning people. He started to question me, and I was refusing to answer his questions. Our conversation went as follows (approximately, not precise words used):

Policeman: 'I need to question you about why you walked across the field' [the field behind my house].
Me: 'I don't need to answer your question until you tell me why you are asking' [defensive, worried].
Policeman: 'We have information that you have been walking across the field' [looking in notebook, trying to shield it from my view - I'm trying to read it to see what is written about me].
Me: 'I am not going to confirm that until you tell me why you want to know' [defiant and smug].
Policeman: 'You are suspected of committing a criminal offence'.
Me: 'What criminal offence? Unless you tell me what suspicion or evidence you have, I'm not going to answer your questions' [angry, self-righteous].
Policeman: 'You have to answer my questions about the field'.
Me: 'No I don't, I'm a lawyer and I know my legal rights. Are you going to arrest me?'
Policeman: 'I know you walk across the field. If you confess to it, we can get this sorted out quickly'.
Me: 'I'm not going to confess to anything and if you take me to court I'll plead not guilty to any criminal offence because you haven't got evidence and this is entrapment' [not really 'entrapment' but potentially misconduct; completely aware the police have no evidence of any criminal offence I may have committed].

This conversation continued for some time - fruitlessly for the police officer, as I did not crack and answer any of his questions directly. In my mind, I was aware of - and clear on - my legal rights and did not feel intimidated. I was aware that the police officer was trying to implicate me in drug use ('walking across the field') but was not explicitly saying this, hoping I would confess. I did not. I then realised the police officer was my boss, DT - still dressed as a policeman, however. The situation now seemed less tense. There was some conversation outside my house, including my 'colleagues'.

I heard the (real-life) text message alert noise on my mobile phone sound, which disturbed me in the dream state. I woke up to look at the text, feeling like I was really awake (I wasn't). This was a false awakening, although I wasn't aware at first. There was no sleep paralysis to alert me. It was daylight and my laptop (next to my bed, on a chair) was turned on - both situations I would expect in real-life as this was a daytime sleep and I had been watching my laptop before I fell asleep.

I read the text message - which (in the false awakening) was from JD. It said: 'I'm on Le Shuttle, but I'm near your stop, so you need to tell me if I should get off to come and visit you'. I thought this was odd (as 'Le Shuttle' - or the 'Eurotunnel Shuttle' is between Folkestone and Calais, and nowhere near Norwich). I then realised that I was in a false awakening and this was a 'dream text' not a real one, since it was bizarre and meaningless. I was lucid, but also felt tired and heavy-headed and did not wish to try to get out of bed and make this into a full lucid dream. My main motivation was to go back to sleep. 


I thought to myself: 'this dream has 4 parts' and I tried to recall all of them, while in the false awakening. I listed them all in my head, but then I fell straight back into a normal sleep and can remember no more. I could only remember 3 elements (or 3 distinct parts of the dream, including the false awakening) when I woke up, which means I may have forgotten an entire dream scene which I could recall in the false awakening.

TIME: 13:30 - 17:00 hours (I am not sure when this dream started, but I received the text - which I heard in my sleep, prompting the false awakening - at 16:14 hours, which is when I would approximate the false awakening to have started (lasting less than 1 minute in total)
LUCIDITY: YES - low level lucidity for a number of seconds during false awakening. Low clarity and no control
SPECIAL NOTES: 

Dream Information:
  • I did get a text message on my phone at the time I 'heard' it happen in my dream, prompting the false awakening. In real-life, the text message was from DL, although in the dream it was from JD

Dreamsigns:
  • My house looked different and seemed to be in a different location, although it was later confirmed to be my university (F - Form)
  • My colleagues were just dream characters (C - Context/F - Form)
  • The police officer became my boss, DT (A - Action/F - Form)

Recurrent Dream Themes:

  • Academia; being enrolled in a class or learning institution
  • Police

Potential Day/Dream Residue:
  • I was in the process of arranging a supervisory meeting with IE at the time this dream took place
  • I often walk across the field and round the lake (to the nature reserve) to smoke as it is discreet, calm and picturesque
  • On the day of this dream, my boss had paid a scheduled visit to my house to check for damage/repairs - I have a sizeable hole in my wall which occurred when I kicked out in my sleep and my foot went through the plasterboard! I knew in advance that he would be wanting to look at this (because when I 'confessed' to it at a work meeting, it sounded suspicious!) It actually transpired that I just needed to get it fixed and was in no risk of being fined or charged for damage to property
  • There has been a lot of publicity about the Eurotunnel Shuttle in recent times due to the panic over immigrants using it to enter the UK from France - and the drastic attempts made to stop them

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:

This dream was moderately interesting, when considered as a whole - but only really because of the false awakening. It was strange because during the very brief false awakening (as soon as I became aware of the fact), I was able to remember 4 separate dream scenes, which I listed to myself in an attempt to remember them when I 'properly' woke up. I think I must have been aware that I was unable to write them down in a false awakening state, but knew that as a result of being lucid, my memory may work.

My memory did work in that I can recall the thought process and fact I was trying to commit something to memory - and I remember 'remembering' 4 scenes from the dream (including the false awakening), although when I 'really' woke up, I could only recall 2 scenes and the false awakening (therefore, 3 parts to the entire dream). I have thought long and hard about the forgotten aspect of this dream, but have had no joy in remembering anything other than what is recorded in this dream report.


I am also interested in the fact that the actual real-life sound of my text alert on my mobile (which is always beside my pillow when I sleep) was heard in the dream state and triggered the false awakening rather than waking me up. 


* Obviously, I have forgotten 1/4 of this dream - according to my own observations within the (false awakening) dream state. I know I ran through the missing 4th scene/part of this dream while in the false awakening, in an attempt to commit it to memory, but forgot it again between falling back asleep and waking up properly. I do not think I will recall this dream scene, but if I do, I will recall it below.