Monday, 27 June 2016

Dream 658

'£250 Festival Tickets'
Date: 25 June 2016
Time: 22:00 - 07:30 (I woke up from this dream, naturally)
Type of dream: Dream fragments
Dream recall: Moderate recall

Scene 1: Exterior Scene (Location Unknown) - Day
I have forgotten most of this dream - the earliest scene (unrecalled) involved some kind of meat/flesh - perhaps surgery? Not on me, but I was watching. Whatever happened in this dreamscene disgusted me.

I was then walking in the street with a girl who I knew from high school - but not someone I am friends with currently. I cannot recall who it was - but I think it may have been JF, a female with whom I have nothing in common and would not be socialising with. JF told me that she had bought festival tickets for SVF and I - SVF was my best friend at high school/college, but we lost contact as we have both changed phones and SVF does not use social media - none of our mutual friends are in contact with her. JF told me that the festival tickets cost £250 each. I was concerned that they were not worth that price and that it was a waste of money. I wanted to go and visit RBA instead. so wanted to save my money - I tried to work out if I would have any money left once I had paid JF for the festival ticket and also considered whether I might be able to sell it to someone else for a profit. I was trying to calculate what my expected wages, minus £250 would be. I also worried that the festival would be rainy and dirty. 

Scene 2: A Staircase (Location Unknown) - Day
I was walking up a concrete staircase - I am not sure what was on the lower level (where I was coming from), but the stairs led up to street level, and I could see that it was a sunny day. As I approached the top of the stairs, I saw LW and some other females (possibly her sister/cousin or friends from the local area - I cannot recall) coming down. They were standing on the top stair. LW looked the same way she had at school - her teenage self. I knew she wanted to confront me in an aggressive way, but I felt prepared to stand my ground and not be intimidated by her. As soon as LW turned to me and started to say something (which I perceived to be threatening), I started mocking her, pointing at her with my finger. I said to her (I obviously cannot recall the precise words, but I do clearly recall the statements I made and the context in which I said them, due to the fact they are what I would say in real life, in a comparable situation today), words to the effect of: 'You can't do anything to me now. You don't feel so tough now that I'm grown up and can stand up to you and fight back, do you? Why would I care what you say about me or the threats you make towards me? I left this town and went to train to be a barrister. I'm smarter than you, I have done more with my life than you, I'm not scared of you, you are pathetic'. LW looked shocked and was speechless. She started to run away from me down the stairs, followed by the other dream characters with her. I stopped her when she got to midway down. I wanted to have one final say. I said words to the effect of: 'You tried to ruin my life by calling me a whore and a slag when I was just a child, but you're the one who boasted about getting fucked in a bathtub when you were 11 and bragged about your teenage abortions'. LW seemed shocked and embarrassed about me mentioning her past in this way. She said something threatening to me, and although I cannot recall what it was, I responded with: 'Well you can't ever hope to do what I've done academically and professionally in my life, but I could go off and breed with some local loser right now if I wanted to be like you'. The whole confrontation felt triumphant and positive. I was proud of being so brutal to her.

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • My Mum as a dream character

Dreamsigns: 
  • LW was her younger self - a teenager, not an adult who is married with children

Day Residue: 
  • It is currently festival season - I went to a festival around this time last year, but am not going this year
  • I haven't been paid for 6 months (for teaching Criminal Law at university), due to an administrative error. I will be getting paid tomorrow. I mentioned this fact to RBA when chatting to him the day of this dream
  • My temporary accommodation has concrete staircases - leading to an upper walkway (exterior) and street level at the top/bottom, respectively

Waking Reactions: 
I cannot recall hardly anything about this dream, but if I remember anything else, I will record it below. I enjoyed confronting and verbally abusing LW, because she was a horrible, violent, aggressive, confrontational, dishonest bully when she was younger (apparently, she still has these traits, but has calmed down a little since she is now a married mother). LW used to have a problem with all females (and probably males) who were not in her 'gang' of violent bullies. She once threw a glass milk bottle at me in the street when I was about 14 years old (she was in the year below me at school, her elder sister, DHR was in the year above, and their cousin, RR was in my year - all of them lived on the same 'estate' in Sheringham). I never got beaten up by the sisters/cousins, but I have witnessed some horrific fights involving them, other family members and friends of theirs. LW apparently fell pregnant twice before she left high school, and boasted that she had lost her virginity at age 11 years, in a bathtub, to a boy from our school. She also used to boast of how she had abortions and allegedly also had multiple miscarriages before she even left high school. Despite her open sexuality which she was happy to boast about and use to her advantage, her main tactic was to slut-shame other girls, who most likely hadn't even started to become sexually active. She used to scream 'whore' or 'slag' at me and other local girls in the street, totally oblivious to the hypocrisy and irony of her insults. Eventually, my Mum got so fed up with the situation that she confronted the gang in the street (my Mum has a brutal temper!) - she reminded LW of her own sexual antics and shortcomings and gave her and the gang a dose of their own medicine - at the time I was embarrassed that my Mum got involved, but thinking back, it did scare the gang of violent bullies from targeting me and I would have done the exact same thing if I was a mother of a teenager getting slandered in the street and threatened with violence. One father (of a popular girl who was also targeted by these girls) actually went so far as to physically assault some of the gang after his daughter was attacked by them - I think he was prosecuted for it, but I cannot quite recall. I was a very confident and extroverted teenager, so I never wanted to stay inside the house too long, but this meant that I would often have to confront the gang (because we lived in such a small town, it was inevitable that all kids who were allowed out by themselves would end up in the same locations) and try to avoid or diffuse conflict with them. I was to strong-willed to just stop going out, but this meant I often felt at risk of violence in order to assert my autonomy and freedom to walk the streets. After my Mum retaliated against the girls, they actually stopped all harassment and violence towards me and I was a much stronger person, with a thicker-skin and more nerve and bravery as a result. I have always wanted to confront these girls as an adult and remind them that I know why they were jealous of me - and racist towards me - they were jealous or bitter about the fact I was an academic high-achiever, but still able to get away with not studying and going out socialising (and maybe being a bit rebellious - underage drinking and smoking cannabis). That said, while I was not a particularly well-behaved teenager, I never lied to my family (I have always been open and honest about my life choices and decisions) and I have never been a violent or cruel person who would intentionally harm someone for no reason. I just wanted to skateboard, get stoned, write poetry while sitting alone beside the sea, stay at the top of the leaderboard on my favourite arcade games, listen to hip hop and grunge music on my ghetto blaster at the beach etc etc

Dream 657

'Polish Boyfriend'
Date: 24 June 2016
Time: 23:00 - 08:30 (I woke up naturally from this dream naturally)
Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Moderate recall

Scene 1: An Interior (Location Unknown) - Time Unknown
I was in a room, which I think - in the dream - was my bedroom. I was sitting - perhaps on a bed. Next to me was a male dream character - he had very pale white skin and peroxide blonde hair. His face was long and thin and he had large ears. I think he may have had some facial piercings, although I cannot recall for sure. In the dream, he was my new boyfriend, although at first, I was unsure about whether I was attracted to him, because I thought he was a bit ugly. I learned - from conversation with him - that he was Polish. As we spend time together in the dream - I cannot recall what we were doing, but it felt like fun and we were talking a lot - I started to fall in love with him, and feel more attracted to him. I do not know his name in the dream. My boyfriend and I decided to smoke some cannabis - I then realised that this was my home, as it was a house on university campus (although not my real life university or my actual home). I am not sure if we smoked the cannabis in the room or outside, but I recall my boyfriend and I quickly rushing outside to a balcony, underneath which there were some trees and bushes. It was night by this point, as I could see that it was dark, although I assume the earlier part of the dream occurred during the day, because a long period of time seemed to have passed. My boyfriend threw the joint we were smoking into the bushes to get rid of the evidence.

We then went back into the room, and I was trying to hide the rest of the cannabis. Two people then entered my room - they were dressed as police, in yellow hi-vis (note that campus security also dress in yellow hi-vis). I thought that this was the police, come to search the room, but one of the dream characters - a short female with dark hair, began to empty the bin/trashcan in my room - and I realised they were cleaning staff, just dressed as police. I felt relieved. 

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • My Mum as a dream character

Dreamsigns: 
  • University cleaning staff dressed in police uniforms

Day Residue: 
  • I think the reference to Polish nationality relates to the recent Brexit/EU debate affecting the United Kingdom (referendum results announced on 24 June 2016)
  • Shortly before this dream I moved into temporary accommodation on my university campus while renovation work is carried out on my permanent address. The move was unwanted and stressful. I think the feeling of being at home and on a university campus, but in an unfamiliar room was influenced by recent events in my real life
  • The day before this dream I had a conversation with my friend about smoking cannabis, and how I would never do it on the university campus

Waking Reactions: 
This dream was quite enjoyable, as I was 'in love' with the dream character boyfriend and was having fun in the dream. I cannot recall all aspects of this dream, because since I have moved into temporary accommodation, my sleep routine/dreaming has been severely affected. It seems that I can't recall my dreams, even when I know I have been asleep long enough to have had sufficient REM sleep and also aware that I did experience a dream.

Sunday, 19 June 2016

Dream 656

'Big Lake'
Date: 18 June 2016
Time: 22:00 - 06:00 (I woke up naturally from this dream, then fell back asleep) 06:00 - 10:50 
Type of dream: Dream fragments
Dream recall: Weak recall

Scene 1: Exterior Scene (Location Unknown) - Time Unknown
I have forgotten much of this dream, because I woke up after having it, then went back to sleep for a few hours, meaning the dream memories faded.

I called RBA on the phone, and he said that he couldn't speak because 'he was in a dangerous area' - I saw images of grey concrete.

I saw a big lake. There was some kind of creature - maybe an amphibian or insect - I cannot recall, but it was on the other side of the lake (which is the only part of the location I can recall) and my Mum, who was standing beside me, told me that we had to 'get the boxes out of the water'. The boxes were prizes of some sort. If we didn't get the boxes, the creature would destroy them. 

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • My Mum as a dream character

Dreamsigns: 
  • The events of Scene 1 generally

Day Residue: 
  • None of note

Waking Reactions: 
I cannot recall hardly anything about this dream, but if I remember anything else, I will record it below.

Saturday, 18 June 2016

Dream 655 (LUCID DREAM)

'Drug Rehab School' (LUCID DREAM)
Date: 17 June 2016
Time: 22:00 - 08:45 (I woke up from this dream naturally)
Type of dream: Vivid non-lucid dream with lucid dream
Lucidity: Dream-Initiated Lucid Dream (DILD) with no induction techniques & no Reality Check
Lucid dream control: No control attempted
Lucid dream clarity: Good
Lucid dream stability: Good - hand rubbing technique used
Period of lucidity: Approximately 3 minutes 
Dream recall: Strong recall

Scene 1: Drug Rehab School, Sheringham - Time Unknown
I was in a drug rehab school for heroin addicted young people, which seemed to be located where the train station is in Sheringham. It was dark, but still daytime and I cannot recall much about the location. The school was run by a middle-aged woman, with black hair in a bun at the back of her head. She was white, and tall and skinny. She didn't seem to like me much, and told me that I did not belong at the drug rehab school, because I was not a drug addict. All the students/junkies in the school appeared to be young women or girls. I wanted to stay, but was forced to leave. I decided to go home to my Nan's house in Sheringham, annoyed that I had been forced out of the school. While still in the school, I saw a screen - a TV screen or laptop screen, which had a silvery sparkly image on it - I cannot recall what this image was of, but I wanted to stay to find out what it was, because I was mesmerised by it. I recall sitting outside the school at this point, near the shelters where passengers wait for the train to arrive, so the screen may have been outside. This scene is a little vague, but it seemed significant when I dreamed it. 

Scene 2: A Bedroom (Location Unknown) - Time Unknown
I was then in a bedroom, which was not my own in real life, or one I recognise from real life, but was mine in the dream. There was a double bed in the room, with white sheets and a TV screen. I received a message from EG - someone I had a short, unsatisfying relationship with in the past. I was surprised that EG messaged me out of the blue (on Whatsapp) and explained that he had not been in touch recently because he had been busy. He asked if he could come over to my house and I said he could. When EG arrived, he was no longer a tall black man, but instead looked like a Chinese version of Harry Potter. He looked young and seemed very shy. He sat next to me on the bed. I noticed that the TV screen was now a mirror. 

I instantly became lucid with no need for a reality check - by using EG's altered appearance and the change to the TV screen as dreamsigns.  The lucid dream was clear and fairly stable. EG and I were sitting on the bed, sideways, but leaning back on our elbows, so that our faces were close. I said to EG (consciously, intentionally): 'This is a lucid dream, and you are a dream character!' I was expecting him to deny this, since many dream characters will not accept that they are dream characters within a dream. EG said: 'I don't understand'. I said to him, 'Look!' and poked my finger (index finger) through his forehead - it went through the skin and bone of his skull without problem, like it was made with clay. I said: 'You are a dream character in my lucid dream. I can control what happens to you if I want. You don't even look like EG'. EG then accepted the situation, agreeing with me. He said: 'What should we do in the lucid dream'. I actually wanted to leave the bedroom and EG and go off and have a more interesting lucid dream adventure, but I started losing my clarity at this point, I think because it was taking me a while to decide what to do, just sitting on the bed. I decided to do some lucid dream stabilisation techniques, and decided to get EG to perform some as well. I started rubbing my hand together quickly (my preferred method to stabilise the dream) and instructed EG to do the same, telling him that this was a stabilisation technique. He started copying me. The lucid dream temporarily stabilised, and EG started laughing, telling me that he 'had never had to stabilise someone else's dream before'. I said: 'Most lucid dream characters deny they are in a lucid dream' to which EG responded: 'But you showed me your dreamsigns, so I believe it'. His eyes were very dark and large behind the Harry Potter glasses he was wearing - abnormally so. I just stared at him for a while, wondering what to do next and trying not to get too excited by the fact I was lucid. The lucidity was then lost, and I went back into a normal non-lucid dream.

Scene 3: My Nan's House, Sheringham - Day & Evening

I was at my Nan's house in Sheringham and my Mum and Nan were also present, in the living-room. The doorbell sounded and I came down the stairs to open the door. It looked to be a bright sunny day outside, but I was aware it was nearly Christmas time. On the doorstep was a fat white woman, with shoulder-length black hair. I did not know her. She said she was 'Mandy' and was my cousin HM's aunt (I assumed that she must be HM's aunt on her father's side of the family - a person I may not have met, such as the wife of her father's brother; or perhaps an aunt of her husband). I said I was HM's cousin. My Mum came through then, and seemed to know 'Mandy' (my Mum's best female friend is actually called Mandy). She invited her through to the living-room. There was conversation and time passed. I was sitting on the floor of the living-room, beside the TV, which was on. There was conversation about ice cream and limbs - prosthetic limbs.

I was trying to hum a tune to my Mum, hoping she would be able to recognise the song and tell me what it was called and which band performed it. I kept humming(well saying 'der der der' in what I thought was the right tune) what I thought was an obviously accurate version of the well-known song, but no-one could guess it. My Mum said: 'That sounds like a country and western tune', but I was arguing, saying it didn't - it sounded like a classic song she should know. As I was waking from this dream, I became 'aware' that the track I was thinking of was 'A Whiter Shade of Pale' by a band called 'Knights in White Satin' - of course, it is a composite of 2 different songs - 'A Whiter Shade of Pale' on the album Procol Harum (1967) by Procol Harum and 'Nights in White Satin' on the album of the same name (1967) by Giorgio Moroder. It is completely coincidental that both of these tracks were in my mind, and happened to be chart hits released in the same year, as I was unaware of the release date of either, and would have guessed they were written and released in the 1970s. I am not sure what prompted me to think of either. I had wrongly thought of 'Knights in White Satin' as the band name, maybe because I associated it with sounding more like a band name. I have listened to the instrumentals of each song now I am fully awake, and it seems that I was thinking of 'A Whiter Shade of Pale'. 

I then thought I had lost some emerald and diamond earrings - which in the dream were of great value to me. I feared that I had accidentally sold them. I cannot quite remember what else happened at this point in the dream, as I was waking up and feeling the dream fragment. I found the earrings, and started thinking about the song (see writing in blue text above) that I had not been able to get my Mum to recognise.

Extra Information: Possible REM Rebound Effect from recent cannabis use

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • My Mum & Nan as dream scene characters

Dreamsigns: 
  • The drug rehab school in Sheringham
  • EG was a different age, ethnicity and personality - recognised as a dreamsign within the dream and used as a lucidity trigger
  • The TV screen in Scene 2 became a mirror - recognised as a dreamsign within the dream and used as a lucidity trigger

Day Residue: 
  • I am in the process of moving into temporary accommodation while renovations are done to my current home - the first option for the temporary housing was awful - a tiny space I was expected to share with a male colleague, the kitchen being so small you could only fit one person in it, with no storage facilities. My colleagues and I complained, and got a better deal. I had described the first, inappropriate accommodation to one the staff in the office where I work as 'smaller than a council bedsit given to a junkie on housing benefit'
  • My colleagues had been using Whatsapp to communicate about the problems with the temporary accommodation
  • I saw that EG is still on my social media - I noticed this the day before the dream
  • The day of this dream, I saw a reference to the Harry Potter movies on the thumbnails of the CinemaSins Youtube account. I also watched an episode of Peep Show (S08E02 - Episode 44 'Business Secrets of the Pharaohs') in which Jeremy describes Mark as JK Rowling and himself as Sigmund Freud
  • The day before this dream I made 2 new Youtube videos about dream characters and the dream self/dream ego - and about how to use dream characters and perception of self in the dream to trigger lucidity
  • The day before this dream I read a news article about a university student who was appealing for a prosthetic arm she had lost while out clubbing - she uses it for aesthetic reasons when going out at night, so didn't realise she had forgotten to put it back on after using the bathrooms. I also read a news article about paralympian, Oscar Pistorius, who has been back in court 
  • The day before this dream, I was packing my belongings and I dropped my (fake, cheap) emerald/diamond earrings while trying to put my jewellery somewhere safe

Waking Reactions: 
I love being able to record a lucid dream experience, even when the lucid dream is quite short or dull. I think if I had tried to exert control earlier in the dream, it may have lasted longer, but I sat around on the bed talking to EG for too long and lost lucidity, even after performing lucid dream stabilisation techniques successfully.

Thursday, 16 June 2016

Dream 654

'Brown Spray Paint'
Date: 15 June 2016
Time: 22:00 - 07:30 (I woke up from this dream naturally)
Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Strong recall

Scene 1: My Nan's House, Sheringham- Time Unknown
I was in an interior, which looked a lot like my Nan's house in Sheringham. My Nan was there, as well as my cousin, HM. Above where the TV and shelves are, there was a large cupboard mounted on the wall - it had many small compartments and reminded me of the interior of a doll's house. There were strange items in all the compartments - antiques, trinkets and suchlike. I was only interested in the compartment which contained a quantity of cannabis. While my Nan was talking to me, I reached in and got it, and leaning on a shelf, below the cupboard/doll's house, began to roll a joint.

Scene 2: Composite of my Ex-Boyfriend, PS' Bedroom, London & my Bedroom in my Former Childhood Home, Pine Grove, Sheringham - Time Unknown
I was then walking into a room which looked a lot like my ex-boyfriend PS' bedroom in London, but also like my bedroom in my former childhood home, in Pine Grove, Sheringham. The bed was positioned under the window and to the left of the bed was the fitted wardrobes (from my former childhood home), and to the right, a desk. 

Crouching on the floor beside the wardrobe were about 5 UK hip hop artists, all known to me in real-life, but I have forgotten who was there, other than RBA and SAS. PS was negotiating some business with them. To the right, sitting by the desk, was BF - a Facebook friend who is also involved with the UK hip hop community. I sat nearer to him, ignoring the others in the room. I was doing some nail art - my nails were long (they may have been fake nails). The nails were painted red, but I wanted to add a brown stripe to them. I had an aerosol can of brown paint, which I was going to spray onto my nails. However, the aerosol can went out of control, and started spraying everywhere. I could not stop it - it was spraying brown paint and making a complete mess. I asked BF to help me, feeling embarrassed because of the other people in the room seeing this happen.

Scene 3: DL's Flat, Norwich - Time Unknown
DL and I were sitting on the sofa in his flat, using a mobile phone to post onto Facebook - it was my account. Someone on Facebook was offering a job in Tesco - for very low pay and substandard working conditions. DL posted that RBA should do the job, and tagged him in - using his real name as opposed to his artist name. He then posted a string of other comments about RBA, all of which were negative and aimed at provoking a response. I told DL that it was inappropriate for him to post such things about RBA on my Facebook account. I grabbed the phone, and tried to delete the posts, but I was unable to get onto the right status/comments section - it seemed like it was blocked from me. I asked DL to help me delete the posts he had made and eventually he did so, seemingly angry at me for making such a big deal about it.

Scene 4: An Interior (Unknown Location) - Time Unknown
I was then in bed with RBA - wanking him off. I became aware there was a young female adult (dark hair, wearing a red top) sitting in the corner of the room, watching us. I stopped, surprised and unhappy about this realisation, and asked RBA to get rid of her, assuming that he knew her. RBA said he did know her, but could not get rid of her, because he was 'looking after her'. I felt annoyed by her continued presence, and RBA's failure to cooperate with me. I continued to give him a handjob.

I didn't witness/experience the conclusion of the handjob, but I asked RBA to come into an adjoining room, where there was a hot tub. The room was very small and tiled in white - the hot tub was the only object in the room, and the water was filled with soap bubbles. I told RBA to get in the hot tub, while I served him food and looked after him. He did this.

I then went into a different room - also a bedroom, but very narrow and dark. There was just a long bed against the wall - with what seemed to be a cupboard unit built around it. RBA came back into the room. I asked him to stay here with me so that we could hang out and have fun. RBA seemed vague as to whether he could or not. We had some (forgotten) conversation, which involved me wanting him to stay. There was something handwritten on a piece of paper - this was written by RBA. I am not sure what the writing was - I did not even try to read it - but I noted that RBA's handwriting was different from expected (I have only ever seen a small sample of his handwriting in real life). RBA then said he needed to make a video call to him mum, but he didn't mind if I stayed in the room while he did so. The video call was to her car, where she was driving, with his younger brother as passenger (RBA does not have a younger brother in real life). During the video call, RBA said that he was calling to 'have dinner' with his mum and younger brother, because he 'couldn't get home to do it in time'. The video call was a substitute for going home for dinner. After he ended the call, RBA told me he hate mushroom soup and tea with his mum and brother. 

Extra Information: I smoked cannabis just before I went to sleep. Cannabis is known to have an effect on REM sleep and dreaming (it inhibits it while still in the system) and cause the REM Rebound Effect

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • My Mum as a dream character
  • My social media having issues with content posted on it against my will

Dreamsigns: 
  • The composite bedroom in Scene 2
  • The aerosol can in Scene 2
  • The sex scene with RBA in Scene 4
  • The fact RBA could 'eat dinner' with his mum and younger brother 'online' - an impossible concept
  • RBA does not have a younger brother

Day Residue: 
  • I had been smoking cannabis shortly before this dream
  • On the day before this dream DL and I had been discussing PR packages offered by a particular individual for UK hip hop artists - PS was mentioned
  • My friend CEC always posts images of nail art on Facebook, as she is training to be a nail technician
  • On the day of this dream I had been drafting a poem which referred to applying acrylic nails for dates
  • A couple of days before this dream I had been reading a status posted by BF which referred to 'runny shit' 
  • The day of this dream I had been reading about 'squirting' - female ejaculation
  • Shortly before this dream (a couple of days before) I had posted a Dream Journal entry for a recent dream, which involved me describing an incident from my childhood where I got burns on the back of my hands from an aerosol spray
  • On the day of this dream I had been reading an online article about Tesco - a female customer found what she assumed to be cat shit in a vegetarian snackpot
  • A couple of days before this dream, I had posted a quote from Peep Show on a dedicated Facebook fan page (S04E04 - Episode 22 'Handyman') in which Jez is employed as a handyman for a techno musician - which involves giving his boss handjobs

Waking Reactions: 
This dream was so vivid and was really interesting to experience - I enjoyed it a lot. I think I have clearly recalled the most poignant and significant elements of this dream.

Wednesday, 15 June 2016

Dream 653

'Boxes'
Date: 14 June 2016
Time: 21:00 - 06:00  (I woke up from this dream naturally)
Type of dream: Moderately vivid dream
Dream recall: Weak recall of dream fragments

Scene 1: Interior (Location Unknown) - Time Unknown
This dream seemed longer, with a cohesive narrative when I was first waking up, but I cannot remember hardly anything about it, despite trying to record it upon waking. This might be a result of cannabis use (see Extra Information section, below). Some elements of this dream remained in my mind, as vague dream fragments. In order to try and recall some of my lost memories, I decided to undertake an immediate stream of consciousness exercise, and try and sketch the one very clear dream image I had - see below:


Extra Information: I smoked cannabis just before I went to sleep. Cannabis is known to have an effect on REM sleep and dreaming (it inhibits it while still in the system) and cause the REM Rebound Effect

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • My Mum as a dream character

Dreamsigns: 
  • None of note

Day Residue: 
  • I need to get some boxes this week so that I can pack my belongings and move into temporary accommodation
  • I need to get photographic ID so that I can register on a cam site I use - and be eligible for earning

Waking Reactions: 
I cannot recall anything substantial or significant about this dream, but if I do recall anything further, I will update this post accordingly.

Tuesday, 14 June 2016

Dream 652

'My Thai Boyfriend'
Date: 13 June 2016
Time: 22:30 - 06:00  (I woke up from this dream due to a Facebook Messenger notification on my phone)
Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Moderate recall

Scene 1: Interior (Location Unknown) - Day
This dream was quite vivid, but I was awoken suddenly by a Facebook message notification alert on my phone, and I responded to that message before trying to recall my dream, resulting in some lost dream memories. 

I was with my Mum, but I am not sure exactly where we were, although I think it was an interior. PS - or another ex-boyfriend or love interest was either present, or coming to see me. My Mum told me that she had informed PS that I had 'sucked [male name - cannot recall who]'s dick' and that PS was angry and would not be coming. She also informed me during the conversation that she had caused spam to be posted in the comments section of every page of this Blog - I was aware that this spam was actually personal/private information relating to me, and would be hostile or obscene in nature. I was keen to get back home, check my Blog and remove any bad content posted by other people. I wondered why my Mum would do this to me. There was an argument which became very aggressive.

There was some events involving a birthday cake.

Scene 2: My Boyfriend's House (Location Unknown) - Day
I was then going to visit my new boyfriend (in the dream, not real life). He lived in a large mansion, with big security gates. I was accompanied on my journey to his house by my Nan, who waited outside the security gates while I entered. My boyfriend's family were home - I recall his mum and his grandfather in particular. I was told that my boyfriend was Thai - I had to specifically be told this fact, I didn't know before I was told, even though he did look Thai in the dream. This scene continued for longer and had much more detail, but I cannot recall what happened.

I think that there was more action/events to this dream, but I cannot recall anything else at present. If I recall anything else, I will record it below.

Extra Information: None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • Arguments or falling out with close family members

Dreamsigns: 
  • The actions of my Mum

Day Residue: 
  • The day of this dream I read an article about Chrissy Teigen, which included a photograph of her mother who is Thai
  • A few days before this dream I told DL about a previous short 'hookup' with a boy who was from Thailand
  • The day of this dream, I saw someone post a reference to 'Thai ladyboy whore' on a page I follow on Facebook 

Waking Reactions: 
I have forgotten some elements of this dream, which seemed quite a lot longer and more complex as I woke up from it. I wish I could remember more about this dream, as I actually enjoyed it - at least I enjoyed it within the context of the whole dream, not necessarily the parts I have recalled here, which seem either negative or banal in how I have described them. I feel like some forgotten elements of this dream are likely to come back to me at some point as the dream was quite vivid, so I will update this post if I recall anything further. 

Dream 651

'Meeting Hitler'
Date: 12 June 2016
Time: 22:00 - 08:30  (I woke up from this dream due to an alarm)
Type of dream: Dream fragment
Dream recall: Moderate/weak recall

Scene 1: An Interior (Location Unknown) - Time Unknown
The only part of this dream I can recall is this one scene. I was in a room, lit by a yellow light. I was standing at the bottom of a flight of winding white stairs. Suddenly, Adolf Hitler - dressed in military uniform, looking exactly as he did in real life, started to come down the stairs towards me, pausing theatrically (he was posing) in the middle of the stairs, where there was a larger stair (this is apparently termed a 'kite winder' in architecture - I just researched this, so I could explain!) He was holding a gun, which also looked white. I was feeling anxious and panicked to be in the same environment as Hitler. However, he came down the stairs to join me on the ground and put away his gun. He spoke to me, and I realised he was no threat and in fact was being pleasant, which stopped me feeling scared. I cannot recall what else happened. 

Extra Information: None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • None of note

Dreamsigns: 
  • Meeting Hitler

Day Residue: 

Waking Reactions: 
I have forgotten some elements of this dream, which was not a very nice one, as I was meeting Hitler, who is a dream character I would imagine most people would be horrified to meet and chat to in a dream.

Sunday, 12 June 2016

Dream 650

'One Boob'
Date: 11 June 2016
Time: 20:00 - 08:00  (I woke up from this dream naturally)
Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Moderate recall

Scene 1: An Interior (Location Unknown) - Time Unknown
I was in an interior, although I cannot recall where. I was wearing a pink T-shirt and was aware that one of my breasts had been removed. I could see a slight difference in my body, looking down - the left breast was flatter than the right one. I was scared of undressing or looking at my body closely. I am not sure if I had my breast removed because of cancer, or for another reason - it was unclear in the dream. 

My Mum was sitting on a sofa which was mounted into the wall of the room. I was leaning over - I may have been picking up a baby? I think I can recall that I had a child in the dream, but I cannot recall how I came to know this. I remember that my Mum was in the scene with the baby. 

I then saw myself in third-person perspective - my body was floating and angled in a way that I could see the shape of my body. I was surprised to see I now had both of my breasts.

I was then with my Mum again - and PS' sister, TS, who was wearing a pink princess dress and had blonde hair (so looked completely different from how she normally would - she is half-Indian and has black hair). I was doing a college course, but was frustrated as it wasn't one which I was interested in. I was aware TS was in her first year of a Law degree, and my Mum was helping her with the coursework and exam preparation. I was feeling annoyed that TS was now studying my subject and asked her what area of law she wanted to practice. She said 'Criminal Law' and this annoyed me further, as it is my specialisation. 

I think that there was more action/events to this dream, but I cannot recall anything else at present. If I recall anything else, I will record it below.

Extra Information: None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • None of note

Dreamsigns: 
  • I had one breast
  • I had a baby
  • I saw myself in third-person perspective
  • TS looked completely different

Day Residue: 
  • The day before this dream, I had read an online article about how former glamour model, Katie Price had just removed her breast implants. In the comments section below the article a woman had criticised elective breast surgery and enlargement, stating that some women must undergo breast surgery for medical reasons and it is traumatic
  • My Mum had discussed having to go for a routine mammogram
  • The day of this dream I had found a newborn baby bunny which was injured and covered in flies. I took the bunny home and called the RSPA to come and collect him so he could be treated and hand-reared at the rabbit sanctuary
  • The day of this dream I had posted an image of Frances Bean Cobain on my Facebook and commented on her blonde/peach hair, which elicited a conversation with one of my Facebook friends - who like TS - is half Indian. My Facebook friend and I discussed bleaching our black hair
  • I had been discussing college/university courses with my friend CG as he expressed an interest in further education 

Waking Reactions: 
I have forgotten some elements of this dream, which seemed quite long while I was dreaming it - especially the earlier part of the dream where I only had one breast. This troubled me in the dream. I feel like some forgotten elements of this dream are likely to come back to me at some point, so I will update this post if I recall anything further. 

Dream 649

'WAR!'
Date: 8 June 2016
Time: 03:30 - 13:30 (I woke up from this dream due to an alarm clock)
Type of dream: Weak dream
Dream recall: Weak recall

Scene 1: Location Unknown - Time Unknown
I was in a room which had a yellow light on. I was standing beside a large table with a collection of items on it - they may have been cosmetics. They had black plastic casing and were about the size of a post-it note, approximately.

I was engaged in a long fight/war with my housemate, SH. I cannot recall how this was depicted in the dream, but I was victorious. 

There was more action/events to this dream, but I cannot recall anything else at present. If I recall anything else, I will record it below.

Extra Information: For discussion on the issues regarding SH, see Day Residue section below, where I have described the situation

Recurrent Dream Themes: 
  • Opposition with SH

Dreamsigns: 
  • None of note

Day Residue: 
  • SH and I have a few problems living together because we are so different - she gets stressed easily and favours either giving me the silent treatment or bringing up issues a few days after she has been annoyed by something (she will say 'You created a noise disturbance a few days ago, this meant I couldn't sleep well and I have been exhausted all day because I have so much work to do, I am so busy, I have to get up at 6:30 am...' rather than addressing it when it is actually happening and can be stopped (for example, by her just coming down and saying to me: 'Sorry, but that's a bit noisy, can you reduce the noise a little?'). I am a reasonable person and I would have been apologetic and more than happy to do as she asked (any noise would have been inadvertent, such as the time I took a bath after midnight and didn't realise the running water disturbed her, especially given she is often using the bathroom at midnight anyway, and I had actually waited until she had finished using the bathroom and gone to bed before taking my long bath). This is not to suggest I didn't tolerate her excessive noise, for example when she would invite a group of very loud girls from her course round to my house at random times, then take over the downstairs area and going in and out of the bathroom for hours; or when she would get up at 6:30 am, but instead of respecting the fact I was asleep - as is reasonable as this early time in the morning and slam cupboards and the front door; or when she would be in her room, using headphones to listen to music and sing along tunelessly at the top of her voice, sometimes until midnight, this being audible from both my room on the middle floor and from the bottom floor. I didn't feel strongly enough about the noise disturbances/invasion of my home by screaming girls, to complain to her, but her rank hypocrisy and inability to see her own problematic behaviour aggravated me intensely. If she is really annoyed with me, she will blank me and not respond to me, just leaving the room when I say 'Hi' to her or try to make conversation, simply out of politeness and trying to reduce tension in the house. On the other hand, I am more confrontational and have no problem in directly speaking my mind to most people, especially a housemate/colleague. However, I am aware I can come across as aggressive, so because she is so confrontation-avoidant and uncommunicative, I had to internalise a lot of my issues with her behaviour (she is a lot younger than me, middle-class in contrast to my working-class background, and not as streetwise etc) to the point that my friends were asking me how I was holding my temper (which can be an explosive as an atom bomb if provoked). I was bottling up so much anger and frustration during my time living with SH, but prided myself on remaining calm and amicable, even doing her a favour a couple of days before this dream, after she asked me rudely about whether I was in the house (I was out) on Saturday afternoon, because she had left her keys at home and locked herself out. She was obviously stressed, but the tone of her texts was offhand and negative (with ?? at the end of each question, such as 'are you in the house??' and 'when are you coming back??'). Nonetheless, I came home early as I could to let her in. I have also agreed she can leave some belongings in my house now she has moved out (at the time of recording this dream - she was still living in my house when the dream took place, but I was aware her moving out was very imminent)

Waking Reactions: 
I have forgotten many important elements of this dream, but I wish I could remember them more clearly, as this dream was obviously the result of months of pent-up frustration over the ongoing issues with SH - a release of the tension and perhaps some kind of Freudian wish fulfilment in operation. I am not sure if this dream had physical violence towards SH, but I think that it did. I cannot even remember dialogue however, or exactly how my victory over her was depicted in the dream, which is a shame as I think I would have enjoyed this dream. 

Dream 648

'Hand Scars'
Date: 6 June 2016
Time: 05:00 - 14:30 (I woke up from this dream due to an alarm clock)
Type of dream: Moderately vivid dream
Dream recall: Moderate/weak recall

Scene 1: My Nan's House in Sheringham - Time Unknown
I was in a relationship with a male I know in real life, but I cannot recall who it was in the dream - it may have been SW. We talked, but I cannot remember what was said - we were standing against a wall inside the house, although I cannot recall details.

I then went downstairs and started talking to my Nan in the lounge. I was standing with my back to the window. My Nan kept pinching the skin on the top of my hands in a really violent way, although I cannot recall what her motive was. I started shouting at her, reminding her of a real-life story, which happened when I was around 12 years of age. 

In real life, I had sprayed an aerosol can of deodorant on the back of each hand because I liked the freezing cold sensation. This caused irritation to the skin (because I sprayed the aerosol only an inch away from my hands, which scabbed over, and I picked the scab off. My Nan had said to me: 'You won't be able to get a job if you cause scars' (Even back then I found this to be an odd way of expressing objection to my experimentation - why not just mention that I might cause permanent scars? would it have been reasonable for an employer to turn down a job applicant on the basis of 2 small scars on their hands, caused in childhood? would anyone want to apply for a job where small scars were discriminated against? did she think I was stupid to believe what she said was a possibility and a legitimate way to scare a young person into not doing something? 

In the dream, I reminded her of this story and used it to say: 'So why are you trying to scar my hands now?!' 

I think that there was more action/events to this dream, but I cannot recall anything else at present. If I recall anything else, I will record it below.

Extra Information: None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • None of note

Dreamsigns: 
  • The actions of my Nan in the dream

Day Residue: 
  • SW Facebook messaged me the day before this dream to ask if I was coming up to Sheringham in the near future
  • My Nan (with my Mum) came to visit me in Norwich 2 days before this dream

Waking Reactions: 
I found it weird that this random memory from my childhood appeared in this dream - it was used as a logical way of dealing with the action in the dream. 

Friday, 10 June 2016

Dream 647

'Atam Bomb'
Date: 4 June 2016
Time: 06:00 - 14:30 (I woke up from this dream due to an alarm clock)
Type of dream: Moderately vivid dream
Dream recall: Weak recall

Scene 1: Location Unknown - Time Unknown
I was beside a window (not sure if inside or outside) and with DK - a boy from my primary/high school who seemed like he might have a learning difficulty/behavioural problems when he was younger, and now is unemployed with a string of children of different mothers (he had kids with his babymother's half sister even!). I knew that I was intending to have sex with DK - I was holding his index finger. I was concerned that I was making a poor decision. 

Scene 2: My House, Norwich (Night)
I then woke up in my bed in my house in Norwich - this was not a false awakening as far as I am aware, I think it was just part of the dream. I saw my hair laying on my pillow next to me (it is waist length, so it spreads out when I sleep). It looked reddish-brown (the colour it had been before I dyed it earlier the same day in real life). I wondered why it had gone back to the colour it had been before I dyed it back to black. I then looked again and was relieved to see that it was in fact black, as it should be.

I got out of bed and walked downstairs to my lounge/kitchen. I could hear a lot of shouts and noise outside on the field which is at the back of my house. It was night and looking out of my window I could see a group of people standing a short distance away. I wondered if they could see me at the window (this would be the case in real life, as the windows are almost floor-to-ceiling and wide). I felt apprehensive about why these people were standing outside my house. I then became aware that there was about to be an atomic bomb dropped by the lake (which is a short walk away from my house, across the field). However, in the dream, this was an 'Atam bomb'. I could hear the dream characters outside my house shouting about it, which made me feel more worried and anxious. I then saw the atam bomb drop, but it just looked like a small firework display and I was unharmed. All I could see in the distance was a bunch of bright sparks fly up into the air, only really in the direct vicinity of the bomb, and nowhere near my house or the people standing outside on the field. The people on the field however were not so lucky, and fell down dead where they were standing. I did not care about this. 

I think that there was more action/events to this dream, but I cannot recall anything else at present. If I recall anything else, I will record it below.

Extra Information: None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • None of note

Dreamsigns: 
  • I was going to have sex with DK
  • My hair appeared to change colour before my eyes
  • The 'atam bomb' scene

Day Residue: 
  • The day before this dream I was researching hair dye remover, which strips dye from your hair, restoring it to its natural colour. I wanted to get rid of some reddish hair dye, because it only showed up on my roots. However, in the online reviews, some users of the leading product said that if you don't follow the instructions to the letter then the old hair dye can reactivate, wasting time and money. I decided to just dye all my hair blue-black, which was successful and is the colour I usually choose
  • The night I had this dream there was a lot of noise outside my house, from students celebrating the end of exams/university semester and the heatwave we had been experiencing that week

Waking Reactions: 
Although I felt fear and anxiety about the atam bomb and the noise created by the people standing outside my house, this was not a nightmare and was not experienced as one. This was a weird dream, and I think I have forgotten some of the specific detail, especially regarding Scene 1

Dream 646

'15 Years Old'
Date: 3 June 2016
Time: 05:00 - 10:30 (I woke up from this dream naturally)
Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Moderate/weak recall

Scene 1: An Exterior - Outside a House? (Location Assumed to be USA) - Day
I was outside a building, which I perceived to be the house of my American Facebook friend, SS. His parents (who are divorced in real life) and younger brother (who I have never seen an image of or heard much about in real life) were present. The environment was all very orange/sandy colour, like we were in a hot, dry climate and the house was made of sandstone or something similar. There were some windows, but I did not see the interior of the house through the windows. I think that we were on some kind of patio with a small porch, and SS's parents were definitely sitting on some chairs, so I think there was some patio furniture. 

I was hugging SS and although I cannot recall exactly what was said/done, there was a sexual element to our interaction. SS's parents said that I had to leave because SS was 'only 15 years old'. I started to protest this - I then had a memory (from within the dream, not real life) of being in a car with SS while he was driving, and having seen his driving licence which showed him to be in his 20s (as I know him to be in real life). I argued with his parents that I knew SS was a fully grown man, but they continued to argue that he was just a child and that my sexual interactions with him were inappropriate and unlawful. SS and I were holding hands and swinging round in a circle while this argument took place. I did not want to leave. SS did not want me to leave either. I assumed that I was in America because of the context of the dream. 

I then realised I was actually holding hands with RBA. This is because I looked down and realised the hands were white, not black.

I think that there was more action/events to this dream, but I cannot recall anything else at present. If I recall anything else, I will record it below.

Extra Information: None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • None of note

Dreamsigns: 
  • I was with SS in America - and his parents were there, but different to how he has described them

Day Residue: 
  • Around the time of this dream, SS sent me some photographs of himself as a child and of his parents. SS has spoken with me at length about his parents. I used a Face Morph app to make a composite image of me and him - our faces merged together really well, because we both have similar facial constructions (long face, straight nose, almond-shaped eyes) and he is black while I am olive skinned (we both have black hair), meaning our complexions are easily mixed by the app
  • Shortly before this dream I read an article about how women were obsessing over René-Charles, the 15 year old son of Celine Dion, after he appeared in support of his mother following the death of her husband/his father. In a comment below a Cosmopolitan article, I pointed out the hypocrisy of publishing the social media quotes about how sexy a 15 year old boy is, when men commenting similarly about a girl the same age would cause controversy and disgust
  • Shortly before this dream I saw articles online about a new speight of female teachers having sexual relationships with their underage male students - again, differing responses and double-standards regarding men and women in statutory rape cases (or lesser offences of sexualization of minors, as in the case of Dion's son) really aggravate me
  • I had been speaking to RBA either on the same day - or in the days directly preceding this dream - RBA and I always roast each other about everything and anything - he refers to my Middle Eastern heritage and brownish skin, and I refer to him being Scottish and really pale

Waking Reactions: 
I have forgotten many elements of this dream and I doubt that they will come back to me given it is almost a week since I had this dream. I didn't feel morally confused or troubled by this dream, because within the dream itself, I was certain that SS was an adult and was able to point to proof of this fact. 

Wednesday, 1 June 2016

Dream 645

'Vodka Bottles'
Date: 1 June 2016
Time: 08:45 - 15:00 (I woke up from this dream due to an alarm clock)
Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Moderate/weak recall

Scene 1: A Party (Location Unknown) - Time Unknown
I was at some kind of party - which was being held in a large room, with long tables and benches down either side. There were a number of dream characters filling these benches, and food was on the tables. 

I was bringing a number of bottles of vodka to the party - they were all the 70cl size, and had a red label. I was delivering them to the party in cardboard boxes. I was at the party for some time, but cannot recall what happened.

At the end of the party, I went to find the vodka bottles, to check if there were any with alcohol left in them. They were stacked in the centre of the room (the dream characters still sitting at the benches, but some leaving). The vodka bottles were now A4-sized red notebooks - some of them had pages removed from them, but some were still pretty full of paper. I perceived this to be 'still some vodka left in some of them' and started to collect the ones with a lot of paper in them. My Mum was present at this point, and we had a conversation which I cannot recall.

I then saw - a short distance away - a male dream character with the breast pockets of his shirt filled with pens. 

I think that there was more action/events to this dream, but I cannot recall anything else at present. If I recall anything else, I will record it below.

Extra Information: None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • None of note

Dreamsigns: 
  • The vodka turned into notebooks

Day Residue: 
  • A few days before this dream, I was at DL's house and he pointed out I still had half a bottle of vodka (from a few weeks ago), and showed it to me
  • The night before this dream I took a selfie to send to RBA and in the background of the photograph were a number of empty alcohol bottles on my shelf - one was a vodka bottle. You could also see a number of notebooks on the same set of shelves, some of which had the pages ripped out of them (to be filed elsewhere)
  • A few days before this dream, my ex-boyfriend, MT added me on Facebook - and sent me a message explaining that his new wife had 'blacklisted me'. In 2004, MT faced court action regarding failure to attend a hearing for some motoring offences. I attended court with him - his defence was that he had been abroad and could not get a flight home due to the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami. I told MT to dress smartly, and because he did not have a tie, he just put a collection of pens in the top pocket of his shirt, believing this made him look studious

Waking Reactions: 
I have forgotten some elements of this dream, but I had a strong sense of déjà vu - that the dream was reflecting a previous real life or dream memory/event. However, because my recall of this dream is patchy, I am unable to determine which aspects of the dream created this feeling. 

Dream 644

'Adopting my Meth-Addicted AIDS Victim Son'
Date: 31 May 2016
Time: 05:00 - 13:00 (I woke up from this dream due to an alarm clock)
Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Moderate recall

Scene 1: A Domestic Interior (Location Unknown) - Time Unknown
I was in a domestic interior, sitting on a long bench-like sofa. Next to me was a small child - around 4 years of age. He was mixed-race. He had short curly hair and brown skin. He was wearing a T-shirt, shorts and sandals - so it seemed like it might be summer. I was aware that my son (I do not know his name, or cannot recall it) had the AIDS virus and was also addicted to methamphetamine (crystal meth). This made me feel all the more protective of him, and I wanted to care for him and make sure he was as healthy as possible. He was climbing on the seat next to me. 

We went into a different room, which was a lounge, quite dimly lit. My Stepdad was sitting in an armchair in front of an open fire, and I was aware that this was my parents' house in this dream. My Stepdad started shouting at me for adopting a child with so many personal problems, and I was remaining calm, but opposing him/arguing back, saying that my son was my responsibility. 

My son then grabbed a large metal spade/shovel (which had been beside the fireplace - the fireplace had a red brick surround). He threw the spade/shovel into the fire and it quickly melted. This annoyed my Stepdad, and I tried to pacify him, saying: 'It's the methamphetamine addiction controlling him, he doesn't know what he's doing!' I took my son to the dining table, which was just behind my Stepdad's armchair. I sat him down and gave him dinner, which was a large bowl of prawns. My Mum entered the room, saying: 'What is he eating?' I said: 'He only eats prawns'. My Mum and Stepdad were complaining. 

Scene 2: A Domestic Interior (Location Unknown) - Time Unknown
I was in a different domestic interior, which seemed like a flat/apartment in an urban area (as I think I saw from the window that we were on a high storey of the building, as I could see grey rooftops). I was with CEC. She was showing me photographs (A4 sized, printed onto paper) of some men. The photographs were like mugshots. CEC pointed 2 of the men out as 'coming from Liverpool' and said that these were the more dangerous of the men - because they were violent criminals. She said that they would be visiting us in this apartment flat, but she wanted to cancel their visit. 

I think that there was more action/events to this dream, but I cannot recall anything else at present. If I recall anything else, I will record it below.

Extra Information: None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • None of note

Dreamsigns: 
  • Me adopting a child with AIDS and a drug addiction
  • A large metal spade melted in a fireplace

Day Residue: 
  • The day of this dream I had been using a 'Face Morph' app too morph the faces of myself and my American friend, SS (who is part African-American, part Hispanic) - I said that we would have an attractive child (based on the face morphed child) - and he agreed
  • The day of this dream SS had shown me some pictures of him as a small child
  • CEC is planning a visit to me next week - she has recently been subjected to domestic violence, which we had discussed on the day of this dream

Waking Reactions: 
This was a really strange dream for me, because usually in dreams where I am in the role of mother/expectant mother, I have very negative reactions to my child, either wishing it away, or abandoning it. However, in this dream I had very maternal, protective feelings towards my adoptive child, especially due to his health problems.