Tuesday, 6 December 2016


'Louis Tomlinson's Lover'
Date: 5 December 2016
Time: 21:00 - 08:45 (I woke up from this dream naturally)
Type of dream: False Awakening/Fully-lucid dream/Vivid dream
Spontaneous Lucid Dream following FA - approximately 3 minutes
Dream recall: Strong recall

This dream is part of my Dream Incubation Experiment - where I ask my subconscious mind: WHAT DOES MY HEART DESIRE? You can read the introductory post (and watch the accompanying Youtube video by clicking HERE - opens in new window)

Scene 1: My Bedroom, Norwich - Night
I woke up in my own bed - it was dark, as would be expected. I was immediately aware that this was a False Awakening with Sleep Paralysis, as I was unable to move and I could hear a strange electronic buzzing noise in the room with me. There was no need for a Reality Check to make sure. I was fully lucid.

I then noticed that sitting on top of the duvet, which was covering my body, was a small pointed witch-like being - about the size of a kitten. I felt the weight of this on my left wrist, but I could only see the outline of this because it was so dark. 

The being did not move or make a noise, and I was fearful, but calm, as I understood the experience and knew it was part of my dream. The being then tried to bite my wrist, which made me desperate to change the dream situation and progress to a different dream scene.

I tried to break through the sleep paralysis by shaking my body until it moved freely. Eventually I was able to get out of bed and walk towards the door of my bedroom. Instead of leading to the hallway, the door to my bedroom led to a small, white tiled room. In the doorway of that room was R3A, with a white towel wrapped around his waist and a dark towel thrown over his shoulder. As I was pretty pleased to see someone who I enjoy spending time with in real life, I did not try to control this aspect of the dream or change it in any way. The lucidity felt quite stable at this point too, with good clarity. I wanted to check that this was really R3A, so I greeted him using his name and he replied, me being able to detect it was actually his voice I was hearing. 

I joined him in the small room, which seemed to be some kind of laundry room, and had a discussion with him - referencing events in waking life. I will not include the nature of our interaction herein, as it was something personal and private which I wanted to talk to him about within a lucid dream to see what would happen. The response I got from him was - to a large extent - what I might expect him to say in real life if we were having this conversation. I may well try and have this conversation with him in person so I can compare the 'real life' responses to the subconscious ones I experienced in my lucid dream. R3A then proceeded to try and have sex with me from behind, in a standing position, but I am not sure how far this progressed as I must have fallen back into a normal non-lucid dream.

Scene 2: My Nan's House, Sheringham - Time Unknown
I was at my Nan's house, panicking because I had just got a positive pregnancy test. I could not recall having sex recently (the sex from Scene 1 was not on my mind within the non-lucid part of this dream). I was panicked and wanted to end the pregnancy, but was reluctant to take this step. I was pacing around my Nan's living-room in a panic. My family were present, but none of them seemed to care about my predicament. I wondered if I had been so drunk that I had forgotten I had sex with someone. There was a vague recollection of me having attended a party 2 weeks previously (in the dream). I decided that I needed to text a friend - TT - to find out if he knew what had happened. I contacted TT, asking him if I had been so drunk at the party that I may have done something that I had forgotten about. He said that he did not think that I had had sex with anyone at the party. This left me feeling confused as to how I got into this situation. I wondered if I could buy some drugs over the internet to sort it out quickly.

Scene 3: An Outside Restaurant - Day
I was then in an outside environment - sitting at a round table with my Mum, Nan and cousin HM. We were having a Christmas meal. We were brought food and I realised it was turkey and was annoyed, because I dislike this meat. I was also served a red/pink coloured dessert in a glass. I was aware that the portion sizes were inadequate and the food was of a low quality, but no-one else seemed to have a problem with it.

After the meal - some time after - I was with my family, discussing the meal. I became aware that I could not remember a single thing about the meal - I could barely even recall being present. My cousin HM told me that I had been very intoxicated. I asked if I had eaten anything and I was told that I had eaten the turkey, which annoyed me. I was also very concerned, not only by my memory loss, but the fact I also could not recall drinking any alcohol in the first place. 

Scene 4: Law Firm - Time Unknown
I had gone back to working for the law firm where I had previously worked in real life - and in the dream the events surrounding me quitting the job were the same as the real life situation. The law firm was different - much bigger, but also in a real mess. There were desks everywhere, piled up with paperwork and files and no-one was taking decisions on what needed to be done or showing me what I should be doing. I was dismayed to find that I had forgotten all of my skills and didn't know how to start again. There were many dream characters and some ex-colleagues from real life - including MJF, HF and JA. JA was the boss. I was given a file - it was made of white plastic. I assumed that this was a client file and that I needed to fill it in with client details. which I began to do with a black permanent marker pen. I was also drawing something on the file. I then became aware - looking at the files of other colleagues - that this was supposed to be my personal file. I was worried as I had included someone else's name on the front of it. 

I then went to ask JA what I needed to do. At first she seemed to be in a bad mood with me. I was directed to 2 booklets which were mounted on a shelf over a desk. One of them I cannot recall - the other one was for a modelling agency. I was instructed by JA - and another colleague (dream character male) that every time a client called the office, we had to pretend that we were either the modelling agency or the other business to which the second booklet related. I wondered why we had to lie to the clients, and risk losing legitimate business from them (i.e. legal representation). I was told that the aim was to keep them on the phone for as long as possible, because we had a special phone line where we got income from long calls. I thought this was unethical.

I then walked over to a desk where JA was putting together a collage of photographs of the people who worked in the office. I noticed that she was including a photograph of me from 2003, when I was very skinny and had short, bleached blonde hair. In the photograph I was holding a tray of champagne glasses on the palm of one raised hand and smiling. The photograph had been cut out around the outline. I took this as a sign that we were now on good terms.

I was then aware that Louis Tomlinson from One Direction was present and that he was my love interest. I could not recall that his name was Louis when I woke up, so I am not sure if it was indeed in my mind when I was dreaming, although I knew who he was (I am not a One Direction fan). There was some action involved with Louis which I cannot quite recall - but I was keen to be his lover.

Scene 5: An Exterior - Dusk
I was then outside with Louis. He was sitting on a grassy hillock/sloped bank, which was a short height from ground level, with a chain link fence behind it. I was standing on some gravel in front of him. We were having a conversation where Louis told me he had to leave to catch a ferry to an island called 'Henry' (North West of the UK) which was where his family lived. He said he had to leave from 'Enfield', which in real life is a London Borough, but in the dream was a Northern town. I was trying to persuade him not to go, as I wanted to spend more time with him. He was telling me - while drinking a red cocktail from a plastic cup, using a straw - that he would come back for me. 

We became aware that someone was filming us using a phone or a video camera. Louis jumped down from the hillock/grassy bank and started to run, with me following. We were joined by the other members of One Direction. I decided that I should make sure that I got into the camera shot so that when the video was put on the internet/released to the media, I would be seen to be involved with a celebrity. I wondered if my ass looked too big in the black trousers I was wearing.

I cannot recall anything else about this dream, but I am aware that the scene with Louis Tomlinson was more detailed and significant than I am able to remember for the purposes of recording this dream.

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • R3A as a dream character
  • My Nan's house as a dream scene location
  • Not wanting to become a mother
  • My family as dream characters
  • My former law firm 

  • I was pregnant, but could not recall having sex
  • I texte TT to find out if I had been so drunk at a party that I had sex without being aware
  • I was returning to work in my old law firm - which was operating as some kind of fraudulent business (the phone situation)
  • I was dating/in a relationship with Louis Tomlinson of One Direction

Day Residue: 
  • I have a phone screensaver of Ewan McGregor - my favourite Scottish (or any nationality) man ever - wearing a towel around his waist and one thrown over his shoulder
  • I had been having a long, humorous conversation with R3A earlier on the day of this dream
  • On the day before this dream I had read an online article about a girl who was sexually assaulted at a party
  • I had seen TT post a Facebook status which referred to rape/sexual assault
  • On the day of this dream I had been talking to SC (my housemate) about how much I hate turkey and why it is stupid to eat it at Christmas for the sake of tradition when British people don't seem to like it enough to eat at other times of the year. I also recalled my Mum telling me about having to complain to an expensive restaurant about a Christmas meal she and my Nan had once been served
  • A couple of days before this dream I had told SC about the working conditions in my former place of employment - the law firm
  • Just before I went to sleep I watched an episode of Peep Show (S09E03 - 'Threeism') in which Jeremy writes 'I love you' on Mark's eyelids in permanent marker, as a message to April, Mark's love interest who is coming over for a dinner party - he panics when he realises that April will be bringing her husband. Angus because he is unable to wash off the permanent marker
  • One Direction bandmate Liam Payne is having a baby with Cheryl Tweedy/Cole/Fernandez-Versini - which has created a lot of media publicity as they have not publicly confirmed this

Waking Reactions: 
This dream was very fascinating for me. Firstly, it was the first False Awakening/spontaneous lucid dream I have had in ages, and that always feels significant. However, even in the non-lucid parts of this dream felt so vivid and intense that it was interesting despite the lucidity. Some of the dream content was disturbing, but did not feel like a nightmare to me. It was more confusing - especially since there were many instances in this dream where I was supposed to have acted in a certain way without remembering - the indication being that alcohol was to blame in some way, despite me also not being able to recall getting intoxicated.

Recurrent dream themes which may relate to my Dream Incubation Experiment are being in a relationship of some sort and the rejection of motherhood.

I am not sure how much this dream relates to my current Dream Incubation Experiment, but it is particularly notable that again, I am dreaming of a return to legal practice.

I must note that I do not find Louis Tomlinson physically attractive in any way, so this was an odd choice of dream lover for me!

Here is my Youtube video where I describe my current Dream Incubation Experiment:

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