Sunday, 10 June 2012

Dream 54

I was seated opposite a male, across a huge wooden desk in a large, darkly lit room which had bookshelves lining the walls from top to bottom. The desk was so big it filled most of the room. The male was not known to me in real-life. He was wearing a white lab coat and had thick curly black hair. I was aware that I was being interviewed for a job of some sort. I was answering his questions and felt perfectly calm. I then had a 'flashback' within the dream, to a memory (only in the dream, not a 'real-life' memory 'remembered' within the dream) of a previous job I had had in the recent past. Instead of merely remembering this time, I was transported back to it, as if I was experiencing it again. The job involved standing at a small kiosk. I was in or near a train station, but it was an old-fashioned station. I was selling newspapers and guns to the passengers about to get on the trains. My friend SD was there, but he was telling me I shouldn't be doing this for money. I told him I did it because I love newspapers and guns (I think this may reflect my real-life desires to combine a career of criminal law and writing, but I have tried some free association exercises on this particular dream scene, the results of which I shall write-up separately in due course, which tend to point to a more oblique meaning of the symbols). I was then back in the big room where the interview was taking place. It now appeared that it was no longer an interview, but a room where an operation was taking place. The person performing the surgery was the middle-aged man who had been interviewing me for a new job. It appeared that I had been successful and was now working as his assistant. The dog, N, was lying on the wooden table, which was now narrower. He was anaesthetised and cut open down the side of his stomach, but there was no blood or anything gory - his insides looks like clean, plastic toys of bright primary colours. I asked what was happening. The man told me that N had eaten some fruit and it was stuck in his liver. He was operating to remove the fruit. I looked at N and saw the insides were now clearly plastic fruits. I didn't feel worried as I was confident that the man would do his best and N would be fine. I now saw that the room was filled with many desks, like a school classroom. There were students sat at the desks, watching myself, the man and N. It transpired that we were performing the operation on N to teach the class about the risks of fruit getting stuck in the liver and how to remove it. I'm not sure what subject this class was connected to - veterinary medicine? general medicine? The operation was performed on N successfully and he walked out of the classroom, recovered. I felt very pleased - the man had just pulled the plastic toy fruits from N and sewed him up, with no blood, scars or mess whatsoever. The day before this dream, in real-life, I had read the autobiography of three Irish sisters who were repeatedly raped by their father - Click Click (2011) - which describes their experiences working in the family factory, stuffing and sewing up teddy bears, and then going on to obtain college educations. I was then mingling with the other students, walking amongst the desks in the room. I suddenly realised that I was in a dream. I cannot recall what triggered it, but prior to falling asleep I had focused really hard on mnemonic induction techniques, telling myself that I must become lucid and recall my dream. I said really loudly (on purpose, I forced this to happen with my lucid mind): "I'm lucid dreaming, I can do what I want". However, something strange happened. The students told me that I was awake and this was no dream. I then had an uncontrollable feeling that I was about to wake up to prove them wrong, to prove I really had been asleep and dreaming. I tried to fight this feeling, trying to force myself to stay asleep and continue working with the lucidity to enhance my dream experience. I did this by holding on really tight to the edge of one of the desks. One of the students said: "You have to go now" and I replied; "No, I'm trying to stay" (I think this meant: 'I'm trying to stay asleep, within the dream') but I felt myself waking and did in fact wake up.

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