Friday, 16 December 2011

Dream Interpretation 2


This dream wasn’t what I describe as a ‘narrative dream’ i.e. one with a ‘storyline’ I was able to follow, with one ‘scene’ leading to another with some form of logical progression. Whilst some aspects of this dream sound quite nightmarish, my experience of dreaming it was not that of being gripped with horror or fear, even though I have previously had terrible nightmares involving an ‘eye stab’ scene (sometimes the nightmare is more like a ‘hallucination’). The mood of this dream was actually quite calm and ‘normal’ rather than that of panic.

Main environment
In a house (not one I have been in before in real-life). It seemed to be a mixture of my cousin HM’s former army home in south west London and my then-friends’ (also appearing in this dream) CG & CM’s current home in south London, yet at the same time it was neither one home as they appear in real-life. In the living room there were leather sofas and a door leading out to a hallway to my left (as is true of both real-life living rooms), but the room was very much smaller than either are in real-life and the furniture arrangement was different. 

When I was in the living room, it was dark outside and the lights were on, yet a moment later when I opened the front door, it was daylight.

Myself; my then-friends CG and his partner CM (appearing as we do in real-life); a nondescript elderly female and a small white female child (approx. 8 years) with dimples in her cheeks, abnormally large blue eyes and shoulder-length straight black hair (both unknown to me in the both the dream and real-life).

The word “Surinam” was said, although I do not recall who by. I was in a living room as described above, sitting alone in the corner. I heard CM shout from another room “Look what CG has done!” I instantly felt worried that something bad had happened, the only moment of unease during this dream. CG walked into the room, the light of the hallway bright behind him. He had knives/daggers sticking out of both eyes, but he was smiling. I told him I didn’t want to look at the sight as it was disgusting, but I felt calm. The next thing, I was opening the front door, although I am not sure whether there had been a knock/doorbell. An old lady was standing there, her hands on the shoulders of a little girl who stood before her. The old lady said words to the effect of “this is the most beautiful girl in the world”. 

Potential triggers
I had been talking to CG and CM earlier in the day. They have a daughter, although was only 18 months at the time and did not appear in the dream to my recollection. 

*I have subsequently learned that there is a track by Jay-Z which refers to “Suriname” – although I’m not aware of the title. As I listen to a lot of Jay-Z’s music in the background (when studying, during journeys by car), it is highly probable that I heard the word mentioned in the song at some stage prior to the dream, although I cannot say with any degree of certainty when this would have taken place. This information came about, because I’m embarrassed to admit that I was confused by the word, assuming I hadn’t heard it before, and had to ask my boyfriend what it was/meant. I have since found out that the Republic of Suriname is a country in northern South America – geography isn’t my strong point, I’m afraid!

To dream that your eyes are bleeding is a sign of self-sacrifice and difficulties which you have endured/hidden pain, although the interpretation does not relate this meaning to other persons. I wonder if dream interpretation allows you to literally project the meanings of dreams onto other persons (i.e. when I dream of X experiencing something instead of myself – does the interpretation of the event reflect how I perceive this person? Or is it an extension of myself, projected onto another? I will try to research this further...) Injured eyes refer to the refusal to see the truth in a situation. Something in the eye represents an obstacle in your path or a critical view and tendency to find fault in others in your waking life. Impaired eyesight relates to difficulties and error in choices and judgement. To dream of eyes may also mean that you fear enemies are watching you in wait for an opportunity to harm you in some way. It may represent anxiety that a love rival will usurp your place in a relationship. 

Not only did I dream of CG’s stabbed eyes, but the little girl’s big blue eyes were very prominent. To dream of blue eyes is to feel weakness in carrying out intention. If you see a blind person (I guess stabbed eyes equates to blindness?) means you are letting opportunities pass you by in your waking life. 

To dream of knives, as I have previously discussed (below) signifies aggression, anger, separation and a need to sever ties; sexual confrontation and masculinity. 

To dream that you are in a lounge signifies that you need to take a break from a difficult situation which confronts you in your waking life – you need to cool off and gain perspective. Alternatively it can mean that you recognise that you are being lazy. If you dream that you are inside, this means you need to resist introspection or in the alternative, can be a sign that you need to look within yourself for answers. It can also mean that there are some family or domestic issues which need to be dealt with.

To dream of an old woman represents fear of ageing. To dream of a girl represents your childish, playful, innocent side and can mean that you are acting immaturely in a given situation in your waking life. It may also be a sign for the feminine qualities of your character. If the girl is a young child, this can mean that you are longing for your past or an aspect of your childhood – it may mean you need to take time to nurture some aspect of your waking life. In some cases it represent someone in your waking reality who is acting childishly. To dream that someone is extremely beautiful relates to an aspect of yourself that you admire – it may be a reminder that you have been selling yourself short, also.

To dream about a girl you just met (CM) can represent your anxieties about the impression she had of you.  

To dream of dimples symbolises a need to have some light-hearted fun and frivolity and is a general sign of happiness, joy and pleasure.

This dream incorporates a lot of symbols which either appear elsewhere in my recent dreams or have a similar meaning. For example, the major theme which runs through my dreams is anxiety about ageing and my appearance – and this is understandable given it is something which occupies my waking thoughts. Perhaps the motif of myself opening the door to a ‘beautiful’ young girl (she didn’t seem particularly beautiful) and an old woman represents my fear that my beauty is diminishing with age. It may also be symbolic of my current status – neither a child nor an old woman, but someone who is still young and attractive. This would tie in with the fact that I may be ‘selling myself short’ as at the time of meeting CM I was struck by how long she spent preening and making herself up, choosing outfits and styling her hair (due to severe and self-confessed low esteem as a result of motherhood at a young age/regarding her looks in general), particularly as at the time of this dream I was choosing not to wear make-up as a result of a skin complaint and dressed for comfort rather than the need to make an impression on others. 

* As I write up this particular dream from my notes, I am able to look back on the interpretation with hindsight and make a few further observations in light of developments in real-life situations at the time. This is not to suggest that the meaning of the dream changes due to the context in which I analyse the interpretation – that remains the same, of course. The point I’m making, is that at the time that this dream/interpretation took place there were events unfolding in real-life which could have played on my subconscious mind and re-surfaced in a dream state, although it is not until very many months later than I see their actual significance. 

For example, I felt CM was a flirtatious girl who sought male attention to affirm her attractiveness in light of her serious insecurities and anxieties (she was 19 years old at the time - thus younger than myself - and the fiance of my former best friend - who is closer to my age - whom I had recently become re-acquainted with in London. They have a daughter together. I provide this background information to place these real-life relationships into  into some form of comprehensible context for deeper analysis of this dream). This may account for the symbol of the child combined with notions of beauty and youthfulness. The idea that knives represent masculinity and sexual confrontation is, now seen in context, enormously interesting. The first time I ever met CM alone for a day out (some time shortly before this dream), she mentioned CG’s pseudo-feminism (my judgement, admittedly – he claims to subscribe to the feminist paradigm, yet both objectifies females through his visual art and social networking interaction; is overly fascinated by menstruation - a recurrent theme in his art - and forms unhealthy fixations on unavailable women)  and how it prevented her from feeling sexually desired. She indicated that she found him too submissive and docile in all aspects of their life together and longed for him to be 'more of a man' or at least exhibit traits typically associated with masculine behaviour. Her understanding of masculinity seemed to revolve around the idea that he should be more possessive and aggressive when confronted with a male sexual rival. She claimed to be bisexual, but admitted she preferred men and overtly masculine ones at that. She didn't understand nor care for CG's artwork or his emotional reactions to events. She acted jealously towards CG's ex-girlfriends, yet was angered when he indicated that he might agree in the future to an open relationship on her part, with no desire of his own to sleep with others. She saw this as weak and unmasculine. At the time, I dismissed these comments as fantastical and due to her serious neuroses, but I later found out CM had been conducting an affair with a male, despite her reassuring me that nothing untoward had been happening when I confronted her with suspicions (she was spending less time at home; asking me to give her regular alibis should CG ask her whereabouts; and exhibiting secretive behaviour). Perhaps my suspicions at the time were ‘pushed to the back of my mind’ yet surfaced in dream form? The fact that the knives in CG’s eyes could symbolise ‘blindness’ in seeing a situation for what it really is, in addition to the sexual/emasculated connotations, discussed above, relates to his knowledge that he wasn’t satisfying his partner and his blindness as to her true actions (the fact the knife is symbolic of a need to sever ties is telling too) – as perceived by myself when I entered their real-life domestic situation; spoke with both separately and picked up on the lack of harmony. Or perhaps it is suggesting that I was blind for choosing to believe in CM and seek her approval as a friend by ignoring her shortcomings and not ‘snitching’ on her to CG. They separated within (approximately) six months of this dream and I no longer speak to either party, for separate and very different reasons.

Whilst this analysis tends to be a critique of CG and CM, this is not the case. What the above paragraphs reveal, both in my dream and wakeful analysis of the interpretation and real-life events which I believe to have triggered it, is my own perception of the situation which I was undoubtedly and unfortunately implicated in. A very vague interpretation becomes much clearer when reviewed with hindsight.

No comments:

Post a Comment