Saturday, 18 March 2017

Dream 795

'Bad Hair Dying & Dying'
Date: 17 March 2017
Time: 23:00 - 15:00 (I woke up from this dream naturally after a VERY long sleep!)
Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Strong recall - some aspects forgotten due to length of period of sleep

Scene 1: Location Unknown - Time Unknown
I was with an unrecalled dream character. I was trying to bleach my hair so that I could apply a bright (unnatural) colour to it. I applied the bleach to my hair, but not all over - I only recall putting it on the roots of my hair and the ends and some parts of the midsection. I was looking at my hair to see if the colour lifted, and noticed that before my eyes it was turning a coppery colour. I rinsed the bleach off and saw that the very ends of my hair were peroxide blonde, which I liked. However, various parts of my hair were still black and there were also patches of bright pink and blue, which I did not want. I thought my hair looked like a mixed-up mess and wished it just had the blonde parts. I then saw myself from third-person perspective, from behind - so that I could see my hair properly. I was angry.

Scene 2: A Car - Dusk
I was in a car with R3A - who was apparently driving (or no-one was), because I was sat in the right-hand seat, but as a passenger, which leads me to the assumption that this was a left-hand drive car. It was dusk - the sky was a deepening blue shade - and we were driving through an urban city area. I was wearing a black 'tattoo choker' around my neck and I was wondering if this made me look like I had more of a double-chin than usual. I was considering taking it off, but decided that it went well with my outfit (which I cannot recall, or did not actually see in the dream). I cannot recall any conversation with R3A at all.

Scene 3: A House - Time Unknown
I was then in a house - it belonged to JML in the dream, and he was present. He was wearing a towelling dressing gown (in Yves Klein blue), white socks and Adidas slide-on sandals. There was some conversation, which I cannot specifically recall, but the tone was sexual i.e. JML was propositioning me for sex. He led me to another room in the house, which I assumed to be his bedroom. It was very messy, with clothes and books all over the floor and on every surface, other than a sofa which was against the wall. We sat on the sofa. JML started to kiss me and I knew that we were going to have sex. I put my hand inside the robe and found he was wearing underwear and I was trying to get my hand inside that so that I could play with his penis. I could not find a way to get my hand inside and JML was not assisting me, he was running his hands over my (clothed) body. I cannot recall what else happened in this scene. 

Scene 4: The Forest - Day
I found myself in a location in the forest, near my university, which is a place I had been to in real life shortly before this dream. I was wondering what to do with my life - it felt like my life was over. I cannot explain what I mean, other than I thought I had already had my chance at living a productive, enriching life and had failed, so now I was past the point of  trying. I felt like I had wasted my life and not made the most of it by my age. I felt so alone and lonely. In my mind, the only option was suicide, but recognising this option was open to me - a get-out clause - was positive and gave me hope that I would not need to continue living a boring, banal. pointless and lonely existence. I had great optimism about the prospect of ending my life now and the alternative option of continuing to live and improve my circumstances never figured in my decision-making. 

Scene 5: Location Unknown - Time Unknown
There was a scene involving family members - specifically my female cousins HM and CAJ. I cannot recall what was happening. There was something creepy or horror-like about this scene which I have also forgotten. 

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • I had dyed my hair a variety of different colours
  • I saw myself in third-person perspective
  • I was involved in some kind of sexual relationship with JML

Day Residue: 
  • A few days before this dream I had been discussing hair bleaching (the difficulty in bleaching out the colour of thick, black non-Caucasian hair types) with a Facebook friend in a conversation about dying hair different colours. On the day of this dream I had mentioned this earlier conversation to DL
  • I had seen a black tattoo choker on a Grav3yardgirl Youtube video on the day before this dream
  • On the day of this dream DL had shown me a hip hop video (artist unrecalled) in which the rapper was wearing a dressing gown
  • I saw some Adidas slide-on sandals online shortly before this dream - one of my Facebook friends had posted an image and joked about people wearing them with socks and I had also seen an online advert for some, separately
  • I had been looking up the hex code for 'Yves Klein blue'
  • My previous dream involving JML - see Dream 794 - 'My Love Rival'
  • I had been walking in the forest a couple of days before this dream
  • I had been having a Facebook conversation with my cousin CAJ a couple of days before this dream

Waking Reactions: 
This was an incredibly long and complex dream which was very vivid. I have forgotten a great deal of this dream due to the fact that I had such a long sleep and I am not sure exactly when this dream took place (i.e. at what stage of my sleep cycle). It may be that I am able to recall other information about this dream, so if I subsequently remember any other details, I will record it below.

I did not wake up feeling suicidal after this dream, despite the fact that this was a theme in the dream itself. When I was experiencing suicidal ideation (in real life), it would most frequently happen upon waking, in the moments of regaining consciousness. I think my dream was reflecting on these real life memories. 

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