Monday, 27 June 2016

Dream 658

'£250 Festival Tickets'
Date: 25 June 2016
Time: 22:00 - 07:30 (I woke up from this dream, naturally)
Type of dream: Dream fragments
Dream recall: Moderate recall

Scene 1: Exterior Scene (Location Unknown) - Day
I have forgotten most of this dream - the earliest scene (unrecalled) involved some kind of meat/flesh - perhaps surgery? Not on me, but I was watching. Whatever happened in this dreamscene disgusted me.

I was then walking in the street with a girl who I knew from high school - but not someone I am friends with currently. I cannot recall who it was - but I think it may have been JF, a female with whom I have nothing in common and would not be socialising with. JF told me that she had bought festival tickets for SVF and I - SVF was my best friend at high school/college, but we lost contact as we have both changed phones and SVF does not use social media - none of our mutual friends are in contact with her. JF told me that the festival tickets cost £250 each. I was concerned that they were not worth that price and that it was a waste of money. I wanted to go and visit RBA instead. so wanted to save my money - I tried to work out if I would have any money left once I had paid JF for the festival ticket and also considered whether I might be able to sell it to someone else for a profit. I was trying to calculate what my expected wages, minus £250 would be. I also worried that the festival would be rainy and dirty. 

Scene 2: A Staircase (Location Unknown) - Day
I was walking up a concrete staircase - I am not sure what was on the lower level (where I was coming from), but the stairs led up to street level, and I could see that it was a sunny day. As I approached the top of the stairs, I saw LW and some other females (possibly her sister/cousin or friends from the local area - I cannot recall) coming down. They were standing on the top stair. LW looked the same way she had at school - her teenage self. I knew she wanted to confront me in an aggressive way, but I felt prepared to stand my ground and not be intimidated by her. As soon as LW turned to me and started to say something (which I perceived to be threatening), I started mocking her, pointing at her with my finger. I said to her (I obviously cannot recall the precise words, but I do clearly recall the statements I made and the context in which I said them, due to the fact they are what I would say in real life, in a comparable situation today), words to the effect of: 'You can't do anything to me now. You don't feel so tough now that I'm grown up and can stand up to you and fight back, do you? Why would I care what you say about me or the threats you make towards me? I left this town and went to train to be a barrister. I'm smarter than you, I have done more with my life than you, I'm not scared of you, you are pathetic'. LW looked shocked and was speechless. She started to run away from me down the stairs, followed by the other dream characters with her. I stopped her when she got to midway down. I wanted to have one final say. I said words to the effect of: 'You tried to ruin my life by calling me a whore and a slag when I was just a child, but you're the one who boasted about getting fucked in a bathtub when you were 11 and bragged about your teenage abortions'. LW seemed shocked and embarrassed about me mentioning her past in this way. She said something threatening to me, and although I cannot recall what it was, I responded with: 'Well you can't ever hope to do what I've done academically and professionally in my life, but I could go off and breed with some local loser right now if I wanted to be like you'. The whole confrontation felt triumphant and positive. I was proud of being so brutal to her.

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • My Mum as a dream character

  • LW was her younger self - a teenager, not an adult who is married with children

Day Residue: 
  • It is currently festival season - I went to a festival around this time last year, but am not going this year
  • I haven't been paid for 6 months (for teaching Criminal Law at university), due to an administrative error. I will be getting paid tomorrow. I mentioned this fact to RBA when chatting to him the day of this dream
  • My temporary accommodation has concrete staircases - leading to an upper walkway (exterior) and street level at the top/bottom, respectively

Waking Reactions: 
I cannot recall hardly anything about this dream, but if I remember anything else, I will record it below. I enjoyed confronting and verbally abusing LW, because she was a horrible, violent, aggressive, confrontational, dishonest bully when she was younger (apparently, she still has these traits, but has calmed down a little since she is now a married mother). LW used to have a problem with all females (and probably males) who were not in her 'gang' of violent bullies. She once threw a glass milk bottle at me in the street when I was about 14 years old (she was in the year below me at school, her elder sister, DHR was in the year above, and their cousin, RR was in my year - all of them lived on the same 'estate' in Sheringham). I never got beaten up by the sisters/cousins, but I have witnessed some horrific fights involving them, other family members and friends of theirs. LW apparently fell pregnant twice before she left high school, and boasted that she had lost her virginity at age 11 years, in a bathtub, to a boy from our school. She also used to boast of how she had abortions and allegedly also had multiple miscarriages before she even left high school. Despite her open sexuality which she was happy to boast about and use to her advantage, her main tactic was to slut-shame other girls, who most likely hadn't even started to become sexually active. She used to scream 'whore' or 'slag' at me and other local girls in the street, totally oblivious to the hypocrisy and irony of her insults. Eventually, my Mum got so fed up with the situation that she confronted the gang in the street (my Mum has a brutal temper!) - she reminded LW of her own sexual antics and shortcomings and gave her and the gang a dose of their own medicine - at the time I was embarrassed that my Mum got involved, but thinking back, it did scare the gang of violent bullies from targeting me and I would have done the exact same thing if I was a mother of a teenager getting slandered in the street and threatened with violence. One father (of a popular girl who was also targeted by these girls) actually went so far as to physically assault some of the gang after his daughter was attacked by them - I think he was prosecuted for it, but I cannot quite recall. I was a very confident and extroverted teenager, so I never wanted to stay inside the house too long, but this meant that I would often have to confront the gang (because we lived in such a small town, it was inevitable that all kids who were allowed out by themselves would end up in the same locations) and try to avoid or diffuse conflict with them. I was to strong-willed to just stop going out, but this meant I often felt at risk of violence in order to assert my autonomy and freedom to walk the streets. After my Mum retaliated against the girls, they actually stopped all harassment and violence towards me and I was a much stronger person, with a thicker-skin and more nerve and bravery as a result. I have always wanted to confront these girls as an adult and remind them that I know why they were jealous of me - and racist towards me - they were jealous or bitter about the fact I was an academic high-achiever, but still able to get away with not studying and going out socialising (and maybe being a bit rebellious - underage drinking and smoking cannabis). That said, while I was not a particularly well-behaved teenager, I never lied to my family (I have always been open and honest about my life choices and decisions) and I have never been a violent or cruel person who would intentionally harm someone for no reason. I just wanted to skateboard, get stoned, write poetry while sitting alone beside the sea, stay at the top of the leaderboard on my favourite arcade games, listen to hip hop and grunge music on my ghetto blaster at the beach etc etc

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