Saturday, 16 May 2015

Dream 441

'Rejected by an Ex'
Dream date: 15 May 2015 (During a nap)
CJS was present - but I cannot recall her role in this dream. I feel her role was significant in some way.

I was trying to convince MT that he should get back together with me, but he was very hesitant and seemed to be rejecting me. I think - or was told (I cannot recall) - that he had a new partner. I was aware that we had plans to go to a music festival together - and had already purchased the tickets. However, MT's rejection and the fact that he now had a new girlfriend meant that I was unsure that we would be able to go to the festival together. I thought that I might have to sell my ticket and cut my losses. I felt disappointed by this and the general rejection.

I was then aware that MT and I were both hanging from metal railings (not particularly high, perhaps waist-height from the ground). I was hanging upside down and MT was nearby. I could see he was wearing navy blue and white trainers and jeans. We were in an outside environment (I could only see the sky) and it was sunny. 

There was a dream scene involving a garden - I saw the garden and it was luscious and in bloom with green shrubs/bushes/trees, a well maintained lawn and pretty flowers. I cannot recall the context of the dream scene.

I was shown some amazing makeup palettes - they contained large pans of bright, dazzling eyeshadows. I did not see the person showing me the palettes, only a hand holding them out - it was male. One palette in particular had a beautiful gold, shimmery eyeshadow in it - the pan containing this gold eyeshadow was large and rectangular. I thought that I should check that the other shades of eyeshadow were also nice - and upon looking more carefully at them, noticed they were all metallic, iridescent or sparking/glittery shades which were appealing to me. The price (on the inside of the lid) said £29.00 which I thought was really reasonable for such a large palette with generous-sized pans of high-quality cosmetics. I was really keen to purchase some of these - and surprised that I could read the price/numbers perfectly and that they appeared as actual, recognisable numbers (as if I was partially aware that I was dreaming and that in dreams text/numbers can appear odd or unrecognisable when you look closely at them).

There was a dream scene in which I saw sheets (large, thin, flat pieces) of brilliant blue gemstone. This felt significant. I looked at them for ages and was transfixed and mesmerised by the beauty of what I was seeing, although I cannot recall the context in which the gemstone appeared. I cannot find any exact online images of the gems (i.e. the shape), but I have found some photographs which depict the colour I saw, which was a deep, rich, sapphire blue. A voice (male) then asked me if I would prefer an opal instead. Opal is my birthstone and is considered unlucky for anyone not born in October. I said: 'Opals are unlucky unless it's your birthstone' and decided that I preferred the blue gemstones. I then wondered what colour opal I had been offered - as I was aware that they come in a large spectrum of amazing colours. I felt confused and unsure as to whether I should be choosing the opals instead of the blue gemstone, because I actually find opals the most beautiful of all gems and there would be a possibility of finding a blue opal which was equally as beautiful as the blue sheets of sapphire-like gemstone. I wondered if I had made the wrong decision.

I have forgotten large parts of this dream, which I had originally remembered when I first woke up.

TIME: 20:00 - 22:00 hours 
LUCIDITY: Pre-lucid/semi-lucid (partial awareness of the dream state when looking closely at numbers)
SPECIAL NOTES: None of note

  • The fact I thought about the appearance of the numbers and how it was 'odd' that they looked normal (IA - Inner Awareness)

Recurrent Dream Themes:
  • CJS as a dream character
  • MT as a dream character
  • Plans to attend a festival
  • Blue as a colour

Potential Day/Dream Residue:
  • In real-life I am soon to attend a music festival - which happens to be held near a local air base. MT is a trainee pilot.
  • I recently saw some photographs of a Facebook friend performing some parkour - including use of a metal railing.
  • The day of this dream, an older woman (and Youtube user) named 'Val Smith' commented on one of my lucid dreaming videos uploaded on my channel. The comment was in response to the positive comments left by one of my subscribers. Val Smith said I had an off-putting Cockney accent (I do not have a Cockney accent since I am not from London); I am uneducated/unintelligent (I am neither); I speak like a child reading from a script (I was not reading from a script and cannot help my childlike voice); I am inarticulate, uncharismatic an not charming (that's a matter of opinion); and she would prefer to listen to a balding 60 year old man speak about lucid dreaming than watch a young, inexperienced woman like me. I went to Val Smith's channel to see what kind of person she was. She had uploaded a single video, with comments disabled (her Google+ account was also restricted access) - the video showed her 'beautiful English garden' and was less than a minute long and very shaky - ending abruptly when she fell over or dropped the camera. At first I responded to her negative comment, but then decided to delete it rather than fuel her criticism any further - I want my Youtube channel to be a positive place where my followers can learn to lucid dream and share their own experiences, not a battle ground.
  • The day of this dream a fellow member on a lucid dreaming page (Facebook) had said that words do not appear in dreams, only images. I had refuted this remark, given that words play a significant part of my own dreams and dream speech has been studied extensively by other oneironauts. I also referred to the fact that when we see text/numbers in dreams and look at it closely, there is often a discrepancy between appearance and perception, which can act as a good dreamsign to trigger a reality check and lucidity.

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
This dream left me feeling a little bit depressed because of the aspect of rejection in it. I feel that the dream character 'MT' was symbolic of someone else who I feel has rejected me, but I am unsure how to interpret this aspect of the dream. In real-life MT did not reject me - but I think I have projected feelings of relationship projection onto him (in real-life, it was me who rejected the relationship with MT when he moved away to attend a different university. I then chose not to rekindle our relationship at a later date).

* I have forgotten some significant aspects of this dream (which I had recalled immediately upon waking, but then lost through distraction), but if I recall them I will record them below.

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