Saturday, 4 August 2012

Dream 72

PS and I were sitting in a room of sort sort - I cannot recall anything about the room. PS told me that he had seen two women standing on a bus. I asked him what they were like. He said: "They were really attractive" I asked him again, what they looked like. He said: "They were Spanish. They had a big fat butt like yours, but they were much slimmer and sexier than you." I felt completely jealous and inadequate. I thought that I should lose weight to improve myself. In the dream I felt really ugly, although there was no point at which I looked at my appearance or saw myself in the dream, so I am not sure if I looked as I do in real-life. I was then standing on a white bus, holding the pole for standing passengers. I was posing as if I was about to start pole dancing around this and there were photographers crouched behind me, taking pictures of me with flashing cameras. I then was back in a room - this time I recognised it as the lounge in my nan, PC's Sheringham home. I was sitting in the armchair closest to the kitchen. I was wondering if being on the bus - and having my photographs taken by the photographer had improved my looks and made me 'sexier'. I decided to go for a walk I was walking down avenue in dusk - have no idea how I know that this was an 'avenue' as opposed to any other type of residential road (it was not a road I recognise from real-life), but because of my synesthesia I always associate the following things: left, lemon, the nursery rhyme Oranges and Lemons Sing the Bells of St Clements, sycamore leaves and the word avenue (amongst other things - I have a range of associative words, images and thoughts which relate to 'left' (yellow) and 'orange' (right) and others which relate to the square central space I envisage when I think about what is between left and right. Thus, in this avenue - which had normal brick houses and lots of green leafy trees, I had thoughts about the things which I associate with 'avenue' which led to the conclusion that I must be there.I hope this makes sense. A young black woman, dressed in a T-shirt and running shorts ran past. She and PS said 'Hello' to each other, but she didn't stop or slow down. 

* The good thing about this dream was, that upon waking I felt like I should exercise. I think, although generally I am fairly happy with my figure, I have latent insecurities, because I used to be very slim (8 stone 4 pounds - approx. 53Kg; vital statistics 30B-23-36; size 8 on top, size 10 on bottom) and now I am heavier (10 stone 8 pounds - approx. 69Kg; vital statistics 32C/D-25-40; size 10 on top, size 12 - 14 on bottom), although some of this weight/size gain can be accredited to weight-lifting - and the Brazilian Butt Workout I do to get stronger, sexier butt, hips and thighs and tone my waistline. I managed to motivate myself to go to the gym for the first time in ages and did a proper workout and weights session and booked a personal training programme to re-focus my body goals and training plan. It also helps that the London 2012 Olympics are taking place - great motivation for getting fit and healthy!

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