Wednesday, 8 August 2012

Dream 75

Last night I tried the same combination of lucid dream supplements and brain entrainment with binaural beats, which had successfully led me to achieving a short period of lucidity in my dream from 6 August 2012 (Dream 74). However, when I woke this morning, I felt like I had had a deep, refreshing sleep, but could recall no dreams at all. I went back to sleep and had a short dream, which was not as vivid as usual. 

I was with PS and RB in a room - the details of the room are not recalled. We were making some form of plans - to go somewhere or do something. PS told me that we should cancel our plans as 'Shiksta' wanted us to go round to her house. PS said she liked to smoke cannabis. I do not know of anyone called 'Shiksta' and have never heard the word in use before. However, I Googled it and found that the word 'Shiksa' is a Yiddish and Polish word, which moved into English useage - mainly amongst North American Jewish culture. The word refers to a non-Jewish woman - typically blonde, who might be a temptation for Jewish men - and tends to have a pejorative connotation, although it is often used satirically. 'Shegetz' it the less common term for a non-Jewish male within this context. The word 'Shiksa' originates in part from the Hebrew word 'Sheketz' which translates as 'abomination', 'impure' or 'objct of loathing'. In Polish, the word 'Siksa' is used as a disparaging term for an immature young woman. In a Freudian dream interpretation, 'Shiksta' and it's closest listed words, 'Shiksa' and 'Siksa' bring me associations of 'sister'.

I saw an image of the dream character 'Shiksta' in my mind. The vision was of a girl who I recall from real-life - I knew her briefly at university, for about a year or so, but I do not remember her name, age or what she was studying. She was also of Middle Eastern heritage and had a similar appearance to myself - almond shaped brown eyes, olive skin, long black hair and a shortish, curvy figure. I used to speak to her occasionally, when she sporadically visited my close male friend in halls of residence (he had a drug problem at the time), but I got the impression that she was a bit of a 'gold-digger' who would only socialise with certain people when there was an opportunity to get something  for free, or be the centre of attention, often coming out with immature remarks or thoughtless comments. Thus, the unconscious appellation - referring to such negative feminine qualities (although, obviously she was not a blonde, within the traditional meaning of 'Shiksa') and the visual association with the girl from university tend to point to the  'Shiksta' character in my dream representing a female threat or opponent. 

PS and I were then in an outside environment - walking along a dirt path with grass on either side, stretching out to the horizon. The sky was grey and overcast with clouds. RB was no longer with us. I said to PS that we should not bother to go and visit Shiksta, but he said that he had already confirmed that we would be going. I asked PS if RB would also be coming with us, and PS said that he would. I wondered how RB knew Shiksta. I felt annoyed that I had been overruled and jealous of Shiksta and her power to get PS and RB doing what she wanted.

I was then in another room, by myself. The room was well-lit and it was evening. I was sitting on the floor, which had a purple carpet, next to a single bed, which was pushed up alongside the wall. There were other items of furniture in the room. I had an art portfolio and had been painting pictures, which were on A4-sized white paper. I was placing the paintings in the art portfolio to display them, but I couldn't seem to get four images (the number that would fit neatly into each page of the portfolio) lined up on each page - some pages had three images, others just one or two. The first page had an image of a white car, another of a white horse and one of a swirly purple and grey landscape, with a square cottage in the centre and yellow/red mist or flames sweeping across the roof. The painting style was very poor - the paint was layered thickly and messily and the depictions were childlike, with bad perspective. I flicked through the portfolio, looking at other paintings, but those were the only three I clearly remember. My stepdad, GM entered the room from a door somewhere - he was in front of me, and he walked round to look at the portfolio, bending down. He said; "They are really good". I was surprised and thought he must be trying to be nice about the bad paintings. He left the room saying: "Why have you got your tongue constantly sticking out?" I realised my mouth was closed, but my tongue had been sticking out the whole time - for as long as I could remember. I was slightly worried and wondered why this had happened as I had not intended to have my tongue sticking out of my mouth all day. I woke up.

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