Sunday, 6 September 2015

Dream 494

'Anal Rape in a Pub'
Dream date: 5 September 2015

Scene 1: PS's House, Edgware, London - Time Unknown
I was with PS in his house in London, although it looked different from real-life. His mum, CJS was present. PS was getting ready to go to university. There were some dream characters (male and female) present who were his peers and they were encouraging him to go with them, but PS was hesitant and wanted to stay with me. CJS was making biscuits in the kitchen.

Scene 2: The Crown Public House, Sheringham - Night
I was in The Crown pub in Sheringham - and it was filled with real-life local people and also dream characters, all drinking and enjoying themselves. I was standing by the bar, chatting to a 'friend' (not a real-life friends, but a male dream character - older than me, white with black hair). I cannot recall what we were talking about. Suddenly, this dream character's friend came over - he was also a dream character, not a real-life person. He was in his 50s and had scraggly grey hair and a beard. Without saying anything to me, he stood behind me and (I must have been wearing a skirt), put his hand into my butthole. This was so painful I screamed out and fell facedown on the floor. The dream character then got on top of me from behind and raped me anally

I was crying out for help (and in pain), but no-one would do anything to help me. When it was over, I got up from the floor and asked the male I had been conversing with to help me, but he said: 'I can't, that's my friend!' I walked over to the corner of the pub (which looked slightly different from real-life). I saw SW and another male known to me in real-life (who I cannot remember). I asked if SW could help me - I asked if he could take me back to his house. He said he could not as the rapist was his friend. I was walking around the pub asking various local friends if they would help, but none would - they were all friends with the rapist. I found PP standing in the middle of the pub and he said he would help me. I then met my mum and told her, but her advice was not to take any action and just forget it happened.

I was holding a piece of paper which said: 'Trigger Event' which I knew referred to the rape incident and the fact I would be recording it on my online Dream Journal. I thought I should include the words 'Trigger Event' on my Blog post (I debated in my head whether 'Triggering Event' sounded better) in case any rape victims might read the dream and it trigger memories (i.e. reliving their own experiences as happens in post-traumatic stress disorder situations).

TIME: 19:00 - 00:50 hours (I woke up from this dream)
LUCIDITY: Pre-lucid - I was aware that I would be recording the rape incident in a Dream Journal (this Blog), which indicates I was semi-aware that this was a dream, not reality, although I did not become fully lucid

Dream Information:

  • PS is my ex-boyfriend
  • SW is a male friend from school who lives in Sheringham - I am still in contact with him
  • PP is a male friend from Sheringham who I have known since I was about 13 years old - and PP was a number of years older than me, which made him seem 'cool' (he was pretty popular back then, so being friends with him and other older boys gave me and my school friends a bit of status). He is still a friend on Facebook

  • PS's house looked different
  • The male (rapist) dream character's hand went into mybutthole
  • I was raped in a public place filled with friends - and no-one was willing to help me

Recurrent Dream Themes:
  • PS as a dream character
  • PS's house in London as a dream scene location
  • CJS and food linked in a dream
  • SW as a dream character

Potential Day/Dream Residue:
  • PS is starting university this month
  • The day before this dream I was watching true crime documentaries some of which included sex crimes
  • A few days before this dream a Facebook friend had said he didn't have any respect for women who won't have anal sex. I also read a recent magazine article about anal sex disaster stories from women who engage in this act. I have never had anal sex and never plan to as I am scared of the potential pain and the hygiene implications
  • I was sexually assaulted many years ago and a number of my friends know the man who did it because they socialise in the same circles (the real-life incident did not involve anal sex). I did not report the incident because I did not want to be involved in criminal proceedings which would divide my local community and social group (in a small town) or give evidence in court (because I was not psychologically prepared to do so) - by the time I opened up about the incident sufficient time had passed for me to have developed coping strategies
  • The day of this dream I was sexually harassed by a non-friend (a member of the Lucid Dreaming page I participate in) on Facebook. This male was removed from the page for his inappropriate sexual behaviour and I was asked to be a moderator for the page

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
This was a horrible dream - I was violated in it and I felt great physical pain. It also reminded me of a real-life incident - so I guess the dream was a 'trigger event' for me as well. 

* I have forgotten some aspects of this dream (in relation to Scene 1 and a further part of the dream after Scene 2), but if I recall anything further, I will record it below.

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