Tuesday, 8 September 2015

Dream 495

'Sexual Abuse of a Dream Cousin'
Dream date: 7 September 2015

Scene 1: An Interior (Location Unknown) - Day
The first part of the dream was confusing, as I was a passive spectator/observer of the action, and not really involved in it. There was a husband and wife (dream characters), who seemed to have a relationship which was very controlling on the part of the husband. The female told the husband that she was pregnant. They were standing in an ordinary kitchen. The wife seemed very keen to please her husband at all costs and was 'submissive'. I then realised that the husband and wife were made out of biscuits. I am not sure what other action took place in this scene, as I felt quite disconnected from it and uninterested in what was happening in relation to these dream characters.

Scene 2: Sheringham High Street - Day
I was in Sheringham High Street with 2 of my female cousins, HM and CAJ. Both of them were their younger selves - and maybe I was also. We were outside a bakery (see Google Maps image, below), but the general area looked slightly different from real-life. I was balancing between 2 waist-high brick walls outside the bakery - using my hands (one on either wall) to lift myself off the ground (the way gymnasts use pommel horses). My cousins and I were discussing our different body shapes. My cousin HM is very slim with narrow hips, whereas I am curvy with wide hips. In the dream she was wearing tight white shorts. I was telling HM that I sometimes wish I had her slender frame. She was saying she wished she had a bigger butt like me. I noticed it was quite dark, even though it was daylight - and it was raining lightly. My cousins and I were waiting for 'adult' family members (i.e. our mums - who are 3 sisters - and nan) to come out of the bakery.

Scene 3: My Nan's House, Sheringham - Day
I had come to my nan's house to collect some cannabis before going somewhere in relation to training or a course of some kind. I think there was part of the dream in which my intended destination and activity was clear to me, but I have since forgotten this. I know I was on a tight schedule as I was expected elsewhere soon. 

RR was laying on a single bed which (in real-life) used to be in my bedroom (there used to be 2 single beds on either side of the room, now there is only one). RR was naked from the waist down. I looked in the mirror of my dressing table, which was behind me. I saw I could also see my own naked body. My butt was normal colour, but I had a deep tan from my waist upwards. My butt looked round and well-defined, unlike RR's which was quite flat. I asked RR to sell me some cannabis. I could see a small pile of cannabis on the pillows of the bed. She said I should help myself. She then asked me if I would have lesbian sex with her. I refused, on the basis that I am not a lesbian or interested in a same-sex experience with her. She then covered her face and started crying. I stroked her hair to comfort her, and noticed she was wearing earrings which were pale green gems stones with diamonds round the outside. She then asked me: 'Did he penetrate you?' I asked who she meant and she said: 'Our granddad', indicating that we shared a common grandparent - I then realised she was my cousin. I said that I had never been sexually abused by my/our grandfather - and this upset her even more, as she was his only victim and it made her feel ashamed and guilty.

TIME: 23:00 - 09:00 hours (I woke up from this dream)

Dream Information:
  • RR is a girl from Sheringham who I went to school with. I am not friends with her. She is married, but separated from a male who I rejected romantically recently. RR's father married my cousin's aunt - making her my cousin's cousin, but not my cousin

  • The husband and wife dream characters were made out of biscuits
  • My cousins were their younger selves
  • Sheringham High Street looked different from real-life
  • I had a recent dream in which I saw RR naked from the waist down - and realised she had a deflated butt cheek
  • In the dream RR was my cousin
  • My grandfather is dead - and although he was emotionally distant and verbally/emotionally abusive to my nan and my mum (as a result of mental illness) when we all lived together in this house, he was not sexually abusive at all 

Recurrent Dream Themes:
  • The bakery in Sheringham as a dream scene location
  • My nan's house in Sheringham as a dream scene location
  • RR as a dream character
  • RR's naked butt looking deflated
  • A sexually abusive grandfather character

Potential Day/Dream Residue:
  • Two days before this dream, I had a discussion with my friend, an international student, who was telling me about the relationships between husband and wives in his home country - women are submissive to men and have no rights of their own
  • The day before this dream, I was playing Sims 3 and used the interaction 'announce pregnancy' for my female Sim in a conversation with her husband
  • The day before this dream I was sitting in a classroom with my friend and he had a bag of biscuits to share. I said: 'I am not a fan of biscuits' and told him he didn't have a good selection (he hadn't bought them, he had got them from the communal kitchen, in case this sounds like I was rude to him!)
  • The day before this dream I tried to do a 'plank' on a table, but found I had insufficient upper body strength to balance in this way
  • Two days before this dream I had been discussing female body shapes with DL - after telling him that Cheryl Fernandez-Versini had ranted on social media about skinny-shaming and how it should be made illegal
  • I am currently undergoing training at work - which is within my university
  • The day before this dream, I met a new colleague who looked similar to RR - and we discussed elderly people as she is aiming to work with them in her career
  • The day of this dream DL had joked that a woman I met and described to him may be a lesbian who fancies me, which I denied
  • The day of this dream I had looked at a pair of earrings I own - pale green gem stones surrounded by fake diamonds and considered whether I should wear them or not - I decided not to
  • I have watched a Vice documentary on Youtube called 'Teenage Heroin Epidemic' (set in Swansea) in which one of the participants - who looked strikingly similar to RR related the sexual abuse she had suffered at the hands of her mother 
  • Prior to sleeping I had watched some true crime documentaries - some of which referred to familial abuse of females by male relatives - I had also read a news article about sexual abuse of a girl by her elderly father and his eventual conviction after years of the system failing her
  • On 5 September 2015 I had Dream 494 in which I experienced a rape

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
Although this dream had a theme of familial sexual abuse, I did not experience it as a trauma-inducing or emotional dream. When I woke up, I didn't have any specifically negative or troubling thoughts of emotions linked to the content - I was more concerned about remembering the forgotten aspects of it, so was trying to focus my mind on the dream narrative as a whole and recall lost details

* I have forgotten some aspects of this dream - action which took place between Scenes 2 & 3. If I recall anything further, I will record it below.

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