Monday, 23 July 2012

Dream 64

In real life I was forced to leave a job I really loved through ill health. In my dream I was returning to work in that workplace following another spell of bad health (depression). In the dream I was worried about the stigma of having been off work due to mental illness and was anxious. My mum was telling me that it would be fine and that no-one would be gossiping about me as it was common nowadays for people to be open about mental health issues. I was then walking through what appeared to be a pink-walled television studio with my former boss, IF. He was looking at me in a strange way and I began to feel paranoid. I was under the impression he was leading me to my new workspace in the office, but I did not arrive there, instead ending up in a leafy garden area, which appeared to be a garden. I was told by someone (I cannot recall who) that a girl named Irena Svetlanka (unknown to me in real-life) had been bad-mouthing me behind my back. I was furious and set out to avenge myself against this unknown woman. I was wondering around asking people if they knew Irena Svetlanka, but no-one knew where she was. I was then in a random hotel room, packing a suitcase, crying. My mum was there. I told her that Irena Svetlanka had ruined my chances of returning to my career and had spoken badly about me which prevented me from going back to my old job. My mum told me that it wasn't Irena Svetlanka who had done this, but a man named Bobby Davros (also unknown to me in real-life, although there is a British comedien/actor named Bobby Davro, who used to briefly appear in Eastenders, my favourite programme on TV). We set out to find Bobby Davros. It was now night-time and there were no street lights. We came to the outside of a building and through the window we could see a short white male on a stage, performing a comedy routine to an audience. We both knew it was Bobby Davros. he had thinning brown hair and a very large nose - an ugly man, clearly  shorter than me - I am 5 foot 3 inches tall. We decided to go and confront Bobby Davros. We went into the building, which then was simply my nan, PC's home in Sheringham, where my mum and I used to live also. I noticed her hall-way (lights on) was the same as it would be in real-life. The door to the living-room was closed and the lights we off as we went in the room. Bobby Davros was standing next to the sofa. There was a very short verbal confrontation, I cannot remember what was said. I then told my mum I was going to kill Bobby Davros. I think my mum said: "How?" as the next thing I recall was holding a huge, unopened bottle of Bell's Whisky and swinging it hard in Bobby Davros' direction, hitting him over the head. He instantly fell to the floor and lay in a slumped heap against the sofa with blood pouring from his head. The lights were still off, the room illuminated from the hall light coming in through the open door, in which my mum was standing, a couple of feet away from Bobby Davros and I. I looked down at Bobby Davros. I thought about prison. I saw an image of myself in the prison vest they make you wear over your top for a visit in women's prisons. I thought about how this was murder and I would get life. I thought I would get old in prison. All these anxieties were going through my mind and it seemed like I was looking at the lifeless body for minutes. The fear was so strong and vivid, it almost sucked the breath out of my body. I said to my mum: "This was always going to happen to me". I expected to hear police sirens, but instead my mum said: "It's not murder, he's still alive..." I said: "No I killed him, it's murder or at least manslaughter." But when I turned to look Bobby Davros was stirring, sitting up. I felt relieved. The sun came up and it was instantly daylight. I woke up.

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