Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Dream 44

I was laying in my bed in my home in London and I woke up. This was a false awakening, although at the time I didn't know this and assumed I really was awake. It was dark, but with enough light to see - which would have been true of real-life, as I fell asleep in the early hours of the morning, shortly before dawn. The room appeared exactly as it does in real-life. However, I was on the other side of the bed (from that which I normally sleep) and alone, although I did not question this at the time. Suddenly I became aware of someone else being in the room. It was a tall skinny man with dull grey skin and blonde hair, parted in the middle. He did not resemble anyone known to me in real-life. His arms and legs looked extremely long and quite flat and although I could not see his penis, the parts of his body that I could see (he was leaning over me) were completely hairless. At this stage I was terrified as I still thought I was awake. The man got on top of me and started struggling with me. I tried to fight him off. He put one hand over my mouth to stop me from screaming. I wasn't sure if he was trying to rape me or simple wrestle me. I was under the covers. I looked at the window and saw that the curtains were open. On the glass of the window was an opaque coloured glass plaque depicting me as a young girl. I seemed to look at it for ages and it was very vivid, although difficult to describe in words. The background was white and the picture was not particularly realistic. For some reason this scared me more than the strange man on top of me. It gave me an ominous feeling of dread. I looked away from window and towards the door. My nan, PC, was standing there, in the doorway, wearing a pale pink nightgown. She was talking gobbledygook, saying random words without meaning. She wasn't wearing any glasses. It was at this point I realised that I was still asleep and dreaming. It was the fact that PC wouldn't possibly be in London which triggered this. I looked at the window and again saw the plaque. The strange man was no longer on top of me (I'm not sure exactly when he disappeared, but I realised it after the second time of looking at the plaque, shortly after the realisation of the false awakening). I wished to wake up. I scrunched my eyes. I was now lucid, but I'm not sure I really appreciated this fact as I could have willed myself to get up out of the bed and explore (as I always promise myself I will do next time I am lucid following a false awakening - the sensation and visualisation of the strange man on top of me may have been as a result of sleep paralysis - the way my subconscious brain chose to communicate that feeling to me in the dream). I thought to myself (lucidly): 'if I wake up the plaque will be gone from the window'. It seemed to be of greater concern to me than the fact I had been attacked by a strange naked man!

I was then in the downstairs of a house in Sheringham - it appeared to be a mix of a room in the former home of my childhood friend MS (although I have only ever been in that room - which had a piano in the corner by the door to my recollection, although my visits dated back to 1995/6). There was a white-framed bay window and pot plants on the floor. Through one of  the long narrow windows which were either side of the main bay window, I could see two young men crouching on the grass outside, looking through into the room. I thought they were looking for me and I felt very threatened. I crawled on my hands and knees out of the room, certain that they must have seen me. I sat by the front door on wooden floor, a position from which I could look through the doorway into the piano room and see the window through which the boys were watching. However, I thought I should also check through the letterbox to see if I could see anything else. The brass letterbox was up an inch or so and on closer inspection I could see a pair of eyes looking back at me. I felt scared and moved away, wondering if the person looking through the letterbox had seen me, although undoubtedly they must have, as we were inches away from each other, looking face-on at one another. 

I was then standing on a platform above a large empty warehouse. The lights were very bright and there were orange-brown wooden floorboards. The scene looked pixilated, similar to the graphics of a computer game. To the left I could see nothing but a dark warehouse wall, and a further expanse of the same platform I was standing on. To my right was a set of PVC doors leading to another room and on the ground, a young woman. She looked very similar to me, although not identical. However, if I describe her basic appearance - petite with a curvy figure; long, thick black frizzy hair, tried back; olive skin; casual dress - there is little to differentiate us. I felt threat from her, as if she had malevolent feelings towards me or we were enemies somehow. I realised she was the person who had looked at me through the letterbox in the previous scene. I thought to myself that it would be a good idea to shoot her. I tried to imagine that I had a gun, but there was none in my hand. I then noticed, looking to my right at the girl, that there was a massive poster of  Tupac Shakur on the wall behind the girl, and as I kept looking, realised the warehouse was now kitted out as a large, now brightly-lit, domestic kitchen on the left side (where previously there had been nothing but wall and platform). As I looked back at the girl, I saw that she had (or had become, as I could not see her at this point) a huge weapon (the size of a bus) made out of shiny black metal. It was difficult to tell exactly what sort of weapon this was, as at the same time it resembled both a canon and the barrel of a revolver gun. The weapon wasn't placed directly on the floor, but rather seemed to come up out of the floorboards. I anticipated an explosion and immediately I saw the canon/revolver blast a huge canon ball/bullet towards the left. The explosion had an animated, cartoon-like quality. I looked to my left and saw that side of the warehouse/kitchen blow up like a bomb had gone off there. I thought to myself that there would be some form of 'recoil' or something which would hit the girl (as I had originally wished that I could shoot her, not that she should have her own weapon), and sure enough, as I looked at her or the canon/revolver (it wasn't clear if I was seeing her or simply the large weapon), the wooden floorboards began to curl up towards her, as if something was pushing them up from beneath (they looked like shavings of wood, and this seemed to happen in slow motion). Then, as the floorboards reached the girl/weapon (they also seemed to resemble a tidal wave) she blew up in another cartoon explosion. I actually saw the girl this time - she was flying up in the air horizontally, at the time the explosion went off, just a few inches above the 'flames'. She was wearing a white top. Her arms were stretched out behind her head and her mouth was in a wide 'O' shape, as if she were screaming, but I could hear no sound. I'm not even aware of any noise being heard when the two explosions occurred.

I was then standing in a serene conservatory setting, with antique furniture and lush plants. Sunlight was streaming through the window. My stepdad was seated in an armchair. I was wearing a short mint green silky dressing-gown. I said I wanted to show him my new dress. I took off the dressing-gown and underneath saw that I was wearing an extremely short white dress which looked like a long T-shirt. My stepdad said that he thought the dress was too revealing. I then went upstairs. These stairs were the same bare wooden stairs as in my real-life London home. I was barefoot. As I got to midway up the staircase, my stepdad's head burst through the stair directly above the one I was standing on. The wood splintered away. It was reminiscent of Jack Nicholson's head bursting through the doorway, screaming 'Here's Johnny!' in The Shining (1980) or the images of 'ceiling cat' I had accidentally found whilst searching for images of dogs on Google the day before this dream. I was shocked. My stepdad told me that he could see up my skirt because it was so short. He seemed to be angry with me. His face was redder than usual, as if he had sunburn.

I was then in a community centre. It was daytime. The room (sparsely decorated, with a long table running along the left-side wall) was filled with young men and women. I saw the girl who resembled myself (letterbox/explosion in warehouse). She was wearing black trousers and a white crocheted top. She seemed very happy and I no longer felt animosity from her. It felt as if we had made peace. She ran off, out of the room, followed by the other young persons who had been standing there. I watched them and felt content. A middle-aged woman (not known to me in real-life - she had a long tartan skirt and mid-brown hair in a low bun and looked quite frumpy) said to me: "She's an Irish Gypsy, she needs to be with her family."

Dream 43

I was in a lounge which was a composite of the lounge in my real-life home in London and that of my former student home in York, where the kitchen was open-plan. On the arm of the sofa (which was brown) was a small silver saucepan filled to the brim with minced beef. The food appeared to be cooking on the arm of the sofa, even though there was no apparent source of heat. I was panicked and shouted out that the food was burning and now inedible. Smoke was coming from the top of the meat. I removed it from the arm of the sofa. I then saw N (the dog). He had several bald, blistered patches on the back of his neck and shoulders. I called out to PS to come and see N's injuries. PS said it was my fault for burning the food. I felt both annoyed and guilty. I took the saucepan into the kitchen and decided that I should eat the burnt food or else it would be a waste. The kitchen was exactly the same as the real-life kitchen in my London home. I started to eat the mince and was amazed to discover that it was completely raw. 

I then received a text from TB. It said that he had returned from Austin, Washington. I thought to myself that he must be wrong, as Austin is in Texas. 

I was then queueing outside a venue in Norwich. It is not one I recognise from real-life. EBG was there beside me. He tried to hold my hand, but I moved it away as it felt wrong. The queue to the building snaked round a fence. We were standing beside that fence, which was made of chain-link. It was either a dark overcast day or just turning dusk, as the light was strange and almost lilac, but the air was warm. I could see a desk in the close distance where two persons were standing selling tickets to the event being held in the venue. EBG said he was glad I was back and we started a conversation which referenced our real-life interactions - how we met, certain events which had taken place during the course of our friendship etc. Although I was feeling happy, I also felt anticipatory and slightly uneasy at my emotional responses to the situation. Suddenly something was thrown in our direction. I'm not sure what it was. It appeared to come from the front of the queue. EBG got angry and said he would "fuck up" the person who threw it. I looked at the front of the queue and could see a young man with blonde messy hair, wearing non-descript urban sportswear - a baggy top, jeans and trainers etc. He was pushing a shopping trolley loaded with random possessions, including a television. He seemed very agitated and was shouting, although I cannot recall what he was saying. I told EBG I would go and see what the problem was. I went to speak to the blonde man. When I got up close to him, I could see that he was tall and skinny. I asked him what was wrong. He was shouting aggressively and crying at the same time. He told me that his baby had been killed. I tried to comfort him. I am not sure of what specific words were said, but this interaction took place by the side of the venue we were queueing up to get into, next to some large rubbish dumpsters. We were surrounded by cardboard boxes and mess. I then rejoined EBG. I am not sure what was said, but our hands touched and it felt electric. I said words to the effect of: "Im not sure if this is a good idea..." because I could sense the chemistry, but at the same time felt in control of the situation. EBG seemed keen for me to join him. We kissed. I decided that we should go back to EBG's home. The rest can be guessed...

Monday, 23 April 2012

Dream 42

The dream started with my mum showing me how she could embroider squares of the night sky. She was able to pull down a section of the night sky (a deep navy blue, about 1 foot square in size) and embellish it with real stars, using a needle and thread. When the stars were finished, she reached up and placed the starry 'cloth' back into the actual sky. I was amazed. 
Starry night skies (above) and sewing stars onto fabric (below)
I then found myself making a journey. I wasn't sure where I was or where I was heading, but I knew it I was returning to a place where I had left some belongings. The next thing I recall, I was walking down a pavement, carrying huge laundry bags full of shoes. I reached my old home in Pine Grove in Sheringham, Norfolk. I opened the bags to look at my shoes. Some of them were exactly as they appear in real-life. Others were altered slightly - i.e. the heels were higher or the colours different. In particular I noticed the blue and white leather heeled ankle boots, which are currently stored at my grandmother's house (Sheringham) in real-life. However, the usually square front of the shoe was pointy and the block heel was now a stiletto. I also noticed, with dismay, that I only had one of each pair of shoes. I went to complain to my mum and stepdad. 
Bag of odd shoes
I was then getting in the back seat of my stepdad's car. My mum was sitting in the passenger seat and I was seated behind the driver's seat. Instead of being parked outside our old house, we were on the other side of the road. A younger girl got in the seat behind my mum. I knew she was a younger sister, even though I am an only child (with a stepbrother the same age as me, in real-life). I did not look closely at her and do not recall her appearance. I did not question how I had a sister, it seemed normal. My stepdad was not happy at taking me to get my lost shoes. He was moaning and telling me to be quick as I was wasting time. It was a beautiful hot summer day and the birds were singing. 
Hot summer day
I was then walking into the Augusta Bar (sea-facing) at our old workplace, The Two Lifeboats Hotel, which also featured in earlier dreams this week. 'Peggy Mitchell' (Barbara Windsor) the former landlady of the 'Queen Victoria' pub in Eastenders was working behind the bar, which was very busy. There were tables laid out everywhere, although this is not how the bar looks in real-life. I told her I had come for my shoes. She said that she was very busy and didn't have time to look. I recall saying: "Come on, please! I have a new job..." I said it in a whining tone. Peggy motioned to a waiter who came to the customer-side of the bar. I did not see his face, as I was standing behind him, at the side of the bar now. He had chestnut brown wavy hair, cut short, which curled around the base of his neck. He was wearing a white shirt and appeared to be my height or slightly taller and slim. He was carrying an order pad, which had something written in biro on the first page. He seemed to refuse to help me, but Peggy told him I had a new job and that he should do me a favour. I followed him.
Barbara Windsor aka 'Peggy Mitchell' in Eastenders
I was then walking through the corridor which leads from the kitchen to the Duncan bar. On the left are the stairs leading to the guest rooms and then the ladies toilets, before two steps down into the bar. I had just come from the upstairs guest rooms, it seemed. I now had the bags with the missing shoes in them. I was also holding a dog on a lead. It was a chestnut colour, very similar to N, our dog in real-life, but this one was taller and slimmer build than N, who has bull terrier blood. The dog was walking on the beams of the ceiling, with the long lead stretching down.
Chestnut coloured dog, seen walking upside down on beams of ceiling

Friday, 20 April 2012

Dream 41

I was in my childhood home town of Sheringham in North Norfolk. I was at the Two Lifeboats Hotel, the pub my mum used to manage and where I used to work. I was in the 'front' or 'Augusta' bar, which has a sea view. I was standing behind the bar, which faces the sea, serving. It was daytime. In the far left bay window table were a man and woman (unknown to me in real-life). They were middle-aged and fairly non-descript and I knew they were tourists (the town is a tourist area in the summer when it is crowded with holiday-makers, whereas it is very quiet in the winter months). I went to the table and asked them what I could get them for drinks. I noticed they were eating a meal. The man ordered a coke and an orange juice. I prepared the drinks and took them to the table. I noticed I had only filled the glasses (half-pint) halfway to the top. My friend HW, whose parents co-owned the pub and employed my mum, came into the bar. She reminded me that we had plans later that evening. I looked over at the middle-aged couple again, and now they were accompanied by a crowd of young men, aged from teenage years to around my own age. I noticed one male in particular. He was in his early twenties and had thick, dark brown hair, aged approximately 18 - 24 (it was difficult to tell, he is not known to me in real-life). He was dressed in urban clothing and had a necklace, which my eyes were drawn to. It looked as if it was made out of round gold beads, but it looked suitable for a male to wear and not overtly feminine as it might sound in the description. I approached the table and was informed by the party (I cannot remember who actually spoke) that the boys were all related to the middle-aged couple and they were all on holiday for the purposes of attending a stag party that evening. The males told me I could join them. I instantly wished I didn't have plans. I had another conversation with HW in the bar. I asked if we could forget our arrangements and go to the stag party instead, but HW refused, telling me we must stick to our original plans. 
Gold beaded necklace, like that worn by the male in my dream
I was then serving behind the bar of the 'Duncan Bar', which was crowded with people drinking. It was quite dark, as it usually would be in real-life. There were many people standing at the bar, talking to me as I served drinks. One of the male drinkers told me the stag party was being held in Upper Sheringham, a couple of miles away, and I was pleased to know it was close, but I was frustrated at not being able to convince HW to go there with me. It seemed that all the customers in the pub knew of the party. I was then standing in a lift with the male I had noticed earlier. He was now wearing fashionable glasses and a sky blue T-shirt, but I saw his necklace again. He was standing very close and I could see he was only a couple of inches taller than I was. I told him I wanted to attend the party with him so that I could get to know him better. He leaned in and kissed me full on the lips. I woke up.
The Two Lifeboats Hotel - with the Augusta and Duncan Bars
The Two Lifeboats Hotel as viewed from the promenade - the red 'X' marks the bay window where the couple were seated and were later joined by the group of male family members

Thursday, 19 April 2012

Dream 40

I was in my 'dream town' location. I thought I had gone for some form of 'consultation' as I was in a waiting-room area. This was known to me somehow, as the room did not look like a traditional waiting-room. It was in a wooden shack with very bright lights - sort of like a log cabin. Outside the window was a mix of city and alpine forest. I could see the stars very clearly through the window. Soon, I found myself in another room, again brightly lit, with wooden walls. The room was very small and taken up by a table. I was sitting on one side and on the other was a male (unknown to me in real-life). He was white with curly black hair. He was wearing a business suit. He said: "I know what you're thinking" and gestured towards his face, smiling at me. I didn't know what he was talking about. He said: "Bugs Bunny, right?!" and I just agreed with him as that's what I thought he wanted me to do. He did not look like Bugs Bunny. I wondered if he was poking fun at me because my two front teeth are noticeably larger than the rest of my top row. 
Bugs Bunny
The dream transitioned and I was in halls of residence of the university in this town, which are nothing like those of the various learning institutions I have attended in real-life. It was still night. I was in a dining room which seemed to be on a first or second floor with wall-to-ceiling windows, with no curtains. The city/alpine scenery was still the main view from the window. I was sitting next to the curly haired male and was surprised to find that he was now more attractive. He appeared to be somewhat younger than before (where he appeared to be late 20s or early 30s, now he looked early 20s) and was dressed casually, although I cannot remember specifically what he was wearing. I felt very close to him. I got the impression, without him saying so aloud, that he was leaving and I desperately wanted him to stay. He had a pile of books which I only noticed at this point. 
Alpine city landscapes
I was then in a university hallway which has an outside connecting walkway to the next part of the corridor. I think this image was based on a memory of  an area of York University (Langwith College? I think that where most of the English/Arts based lectures/seminars took place and I think this was my college), but I knew I wasn't actually at York and the exterior of the campus was very different, although nothing appeared 'odd' or out of place in the dream. Whilst I was standing at the doorway, by some stairs - facing  towards the covered outside walkway, there was a rush of students around me. I had thoughts at this point of talk show hosts Michael Parkinson and then Jonathan Ross (it sounds random, but it was as if I were 'remembering' something in the dream - or that I was having a synethesia-response to the location which I had 'forgotten' until seeing that place again, even if in a dream - I haven't been to York University for 8 years now). I walked outside, along the walkway and back into the building through the next set of doors. It was daylight now. There were posters of Pre Raphaelite artworks (in real-life I had recently been excited to see an exhibition of the PRB artists would be shown at the National Gallery in September of this year. I think I associate the area I entered in my dream with history of art lectures at York). There were more students crowding around in the corridor. I tried to speak to some of them as I walked through. Everyone seemed to be getting ready for something and too busy to stop and speak to me. I went off in search of the curly haired male. When I got back to the dining-room I was told by some seated male students, there was a festival being held on the university campus field and that was where everyone would be. They seemed to know I was looking for someone even though I do not remember specifically mentioning this. I felt happy and excited about the prospect of a festival. I received a text. My mobile phone was a smart-phone type and much better than the cheap Nokia I use in real-life. The curly haired male had text me. Annoyingly, in the dream I did not check what name appeared on the phone - I wasn't trying to find out what he was called as it seemed like I already knew his name - it is my waking mind which wishes I had checked in the dream. The text said: 'Come now'. I felt overjoyed.

Since writing up this dream, I investigated the buildings referred to above - searching for the University of York, and in particular, Langwith College. I found that my dream did show me these places, which would have been stored in my visual memory, dating back to the period 2000 - 2003. Below are some of the images which best show the specific areas referred to in my dream - namely Langwith and Derwent Colleges which are linked by outside walkways. I am convinced, however, that my dream did not depict either Langwith or Derwent College 100% accurately, but rather combined aspects of both as composite images.
The entrance to Derwent College, University of York
Passageway in Langwith College, University of York
Langwith College, University of York
The distance between Langwith and Derwent Colleges (facing Derwent), University of York

Monday, 16 April 2012

Dream 39

I do not recall the start of my dream, but I had a false awakening. I found myself lying in bed and could hear Irish women outside the door of the bedroom, saying: "They have all the pots and pans in this room..." They sounded angry. I asked myself if I was still asleep and dreaming, and decided it was likely, but then'saw' the plates from last night's snacks on the desk (which were there in real-life) and thought perhaps I was really awake after all. I did not become fully lucid - or I would have had to have concluded I was still asleep. Shortly after my false awakening of sorts, PS's phone rang. He answered and it was CJS. She said that she was at the shops and asked if there was anything we wanted her to collect for us. At this time, the light was on in the bedroom and I was sitting at my desk and PS was seated at his. I said I wanted orange juice and PS said he wanted chocolate (this is typically what we would ask for in real-life). It seemed as if CJS instantly appeared with the items and then left again. I looked to the side of my desk and saw a large box of Terry's Chocolate Orange segments. I said: "I wanted orange juice, not chocolate orange". PS had a large box of chocolates, but the box was empty. I passed him the Terry's Chocolate Orange box, but when we looked inside there were only two sweets left.

The dream transitioned and PS and I were in a well-lit lounge in the evening. The night before this dream (real-life) we had visited our friend DJA at his mum's house in Northampton. The lounge in the dream was similar to that at DJA's, as the door; television (similarly used for playing console games in the dream); windows; and some of the chairs were positioned in the same locations. However the room appeared to be more square and there was a beanbag in front of the television. The room was occupied by a group of males - I am not sure of their actual identities, but they appeared to be our friends. PS and I were standing, watching them play computer games. Then, into the room walked another male. He was tall, with messy blonde hair and appeared to be a cross between Kurt Cobain and Owen Wilson (a day or so before this dream, PS and I had discussed these two celebrities, also referencing Courtney Love, late wife of Cobain who had randomly accused UK comedian Steve Coogan of causing the suicide attempt of Own Wilson - a person PS and I both dislike. We had also been listening to Nirvana songs the day before this dream). The male, whom I will refer to as KO, was wearing a navy blue T-shirt and baggy beige shorts with a metal studded belt. His shorts were low and his white boxer shorts were fully visible. He had a backpack with him as well, on one shoulder. He sat down (with his back to us) on the beanbag and proceeded to play the computer game with the others. He turned round and smiled at us. I got the impression he was a joker and supposedly the life and soul of the party. I said to PS: "Should we make him be our slave?" PS agreed that we should.

KO was then stood in front of us. He was wearing a beige suit. PS and I had renamed him 'Donald McRonald' (in real-life we jokingly refer to our friend DJA as 'Steve McDonald' from Coronation Street as he bears a slight resemblance). He was tasked with doing whatever pranks we felt like making him do. We were suddenly at a party. There was a young female with short brown hair, wearing a purple velvet dress (it looked very 1990s style). She had small silver dangly earrings - like miniature baubles. PS and I told Donald McRonald that he should pretend he thought her earrings were her breasts and to touch them and tell her he thought she had "nice tits". PS and I thought this was so funny, we were crying tears of laughter. When he actually did what we told him, and approached the woman telling her that her earrings were "nice tits", we fell on the floor, laughing even harder. We were so shocked at the level of power we now had over him. It felt like the funniest thing that had ever happened. We then told Ronald McDonald to block the toilets of the party, this again making us laugh. We told him to go onto the roof and jump off. I am not sure what happened next, as I was walking down a staircase in an old mansion - I thought I was heading for the 'scullery'. Instead I came out in the Two Lifeboats Hotel - the seafront pub/hotel managed by my mum, where I also used to work around college and university. I used to love those days. I was walking through the restaurant, into the sea-facing bar. My mum's friend, and owner of the business, DW was there, folding sheets. I told her I was there to help. It seemed there was to be a big celebration - some form of party or perhaps the town carnival events. The bar was filling up with people as the sun was setting outside. I was surrounded by my friends and family. I felt very happy. 
Terry's Chocolate Orange - individual segments in box
Kurt Cobain/Owen Wilson hybrid - Donald McRonald
The Two Lifeboats Hotel, Sheringham, North Norfolk

Sunday, 15 April 2012

Dream 38

Dream date: 14th April 2012

There was a start to this dream which I do not recall, as I woke up temporarily and then fell back asleep after a couple of minutes. When I 'dreamed' again, I thought I had gone back into my original dream, but I cannot say this is actually true as I remember nothing from before I awoke. The first part of the dream I actually recall took place on a beach. It wasn't the beach at Sheringham, as there were grassy hills leading down to the shore, and soft sand dunes (not flat, wet sand). There were many of my friends present - all male. I cannot say who was there for sure, but I know the group I was with represented male friends known to me in real-life. It may be that I never specifically saw who was present. EC was also with me. I remember thinking that if any photographs were taken, they would be of EC rather than myself as she has much larger breasts than me. I then realised that EC and I were going to be doing some modelling, which made the thoughts of photographs make sense. Some of the males had lit a bonfire/campfire on the sand. It was dusk - or at least the sun appeared to be either rising or setting and the light was dim, but pleasant. I then saw myself and EC from a third person perspective. EC was wearing a bright orange and red coloured sarong draped over her. I was wearing a black vest and leggings with a loose swathe of fabric draped over the front of my body. EC and I were running down the sand dunes. I tried to get a good look at myself - in particular, my boobs - which were partially hidden by the fabric. As I turned to the side, I managed to see my boobs and felt satisfied that they looked big enough from side view at a distance. I was, however, shocked at how large my hips, thigh and butt looked from the back and wondered why I appeared to be fatter than normal. Looking at EC from behind, I noticed that she looked larger than normal also. At this point in the dream, it was if I existed simultaneously as a first person (thinker) and as a third person who I could view from afar. The night before this dream, in real-life, PS and I had watched an online documentary about parallel universes and multiverse theory - i.e. that different versions of you can exist simultaneously. 

I cannot recall what happened next, but I eventually found myself on a lawn or field, which I perceived to be part of my high school, although there was now an L-shaped wall (a recurrent theme recently - but also the wall creating a 'square' of garden in a high school field setting was reminscent of a description of the 'Headmaster's garden' I had just re-read in Zoe Heller's Notes on a Scandal (2003) - although I was pretty sure the rest of the location appeared as my real-life high school had at the time of my attendance, which I had recently been reminded of in old photographs posted by a former teacher on Facebook). I was laying on my front on the grass. A few feet ahead of me, seated on the grass, was PS and two other persons, in conversation. I felt someone massaging my lower back, directly on my skin as if they had lifted my top. It felt so nice and relaxing. I looked up and saw PS and the other two persons (both male, I now saw) watching me. I rolled over and sat up to see who was touching my back. I saw it was the character (or the actor, I'm not sure if I perceived the person to be themselves or their soap character) of 'Ben Mitchell' from Eastenders. He was wearing the blue hoody which was featured in a recent murder storyline, pulled up over his head. I saw his face close up, as if I were only inches from him. I woke up.
Fire on beach at dusk/dawn
Matthew Silver aka 'Ben Mitchell' in Eastenders

Dream 37

Dream date: 13th April 2012 

I was in a very old fashioned, dark room with various members of my family. We were seated on sofas of some sort, positioned to face one another and separated by a low table. I am unable to recall exactly who was there, but my mum, SM; my nan, PC and one of my aunts, CEJ were present, as was one of my mum's former colleagues and friend, an older woman, CC. The lights in the room were very dim. I wasn't sure where we were actually sitting, but I stood up and addressed the group. I said something (which I cannot recall) and I was told by one of my relatives that I shouldn't speak so crudely or use such vulgar words. I then went to leave the room, telling my family that I would return to them (it seemed as if we were gathered for a purpose, I'm not sure what) as soon as I had cleaned myself by way of a "French Shower" (where you only clean the areas of the body where likely to sweat, or mask body odour with perfume instead of bathing properly - in my house the phrase was used as a joke, meaning to wash quickly using a basin of water, when in a rush). My mum told me that I shouldn't use such a phrase as it was too rude to say in public. I contested this, stating that it was a phrase she had taught me in the first place. I left.

I was then in a takeaway food shop. There was an 'L' shaped counter, but very limited space between the counter and the door. Behind the counter was a very short, young Oriental woman. I would guess she was Chinese/Vietnamese when I first saw her, but later she looked more Thai. To my left, I noticed my ex-boyfriend, MT - who is Chinese/Burmese. In real-life, the day before this dream took place, PS and I had wondered where MT had disappeared to, as he was not on social networking sites and his phone numbers were no longer in use. When I saw MT in the dream I recalled the real-life conversation PS and I had. I said words to the effect of: "I've found you!" The atmosphere between us was pleasant, as in real-life and he appeared pleased to see me also, although I cannot recall a conversation. I was looking at the girl behind the counter (unknown to me in real-life). Her hair was messy and tied back in a low ponytail. She was wearing a white T-shirt and an apron, but I could only really see her head and shoulders over the counter. She was shouting something and throwing polystyrene containers of takeaway food out to the many other customers (who could never have possibly fit in the space available between the door and the counter). The takeaway was really busy. I shouted something at the girl, but I do not recall what I said. She seemed angry.

I went outside and stood by the door of the takeaway. MT was beside me. I was now eating something (it was meat in bread, but not kebab) from a white takeaway tray. I saw the girl nearby. I pointed at her and saw a cartoon bomb explosion. As the stylised red, orange and yellow sparks of cartoon fire subsided, I saw her lying on the pavement. My attention was distracted and when I looked back at the girl again, she was on her feet once more. I heard someone say: " You need to use a bigger fireball". I pointed at her a second time and now saw two cartoon bomb explosions go off on her body. Again she was on the floor, but the cartoon fire lasted longer, and appeared to be in two separate 'bonfires' - one burning on her chest, the other on the tops of her thighs. Something happened - I cannot recall what this was, but I suddenly noticed that the girl had got up again and was running towards me, holding a long fork in each hand. I feared my safety and was aware that she was going to stab me in the temples with the forks. As she approached, I grabbed the forks from her and turned them onto her, stabbing her in the face. She fell to the floor and I was satisfied that she would not get up again. During this section of the dream, there were definitely bystanders- members of the public - standing around watching the action, but I lost track of where MT was.

I was then in the living room at PC's home in Sheringham. It appeared largely as it does in real-life, except instead of an armchair pushed back against a cupboard door, next to the doorway from the wall, there was a larger sofa and the room appeared larger to accommodate this. My family members were present in the room. On the mantelpiece were some photographs of me as a baby (there are some in real-life). There were two which caught my attention in particular. They depicted me as a baby laying on a rug, with my mum and dad behind me smiling (there are no pictures like this in existence - my mum left my dad before I was born and following the divorce he wasn't present in my life, except one or two occasions when we spent a few hours together. He died a few years ago and I saw him on his 'deathbed', so to speak - an incident which I had referred to in a real-life conversation a couple of days before this dream). I noticed that in my baby photographs, my lips appeared to be unnaturally swollen and a bright pink colour. I took a closer look. I wanted to pick up the photos, but I saw that they were perched precariously on the mantelpiece, one above the other, by way of a delicate hook system (i.e. not in normal sturdy photo frames). It looked (on very close inspection - I was leaning close to see how the photos were being displayed and if I could take them down) as if there was string attached to the back of the photos, and a white-painted metal hook attacked to a thin 'stand' held them in place. I didn't want to drop the photos or break the hook which were keeping them upright on the mantelpiece shelf. I asked PC to get them down for me, which she did. Once the photos were in my hands, I looked closer and was amazed at how fat and pink my lips were. I woke up.

Dream 36

Dream date: 12th April 2012

In previous dreams, I have referred to a 'dream town' which appears recurrently in my dreams - a familiar place which evokes sensations of having enjoyed visits there before, but which I cannot recall as an actual real-life place that I have visited in my waking-life. In this particular dream, which was extremely vivid, I had the sensation that I was in this place and questioned why there were places in the dream which appeared to belong to other real-life locations, such as my former home in York (where I lived as an undergraduate student during 2001 - 2003) and the centre of Sheringham High Street (outside the old post office which is now a sorting office and collection point only). I was able to recognise that real-life places had been transposed onto my 'dream town' but even in my dream I found this odd. 

I was standing in the middle of the lounge/kitchen area in my former student house at 44 Hull Road, York. The decor was exactly as I remember it, with the dining table pushed against the left-hand wall adjacent to the door and parallel to the kitchen area, with the burnt orange/reddish coloured three-seater sofa along the wall where the door is positioned. On the dining table were stacks of paperwork and stationary. I'm not sure who was in the room with me specifically, but I was aware there were some members of my family present, standing in the space in the middle of the room. I felt relieved as if I had completed a work assignment or met a deadline - certainly linked to the piles of paper on the table. I was in the mood to celebrate and the atmosphere in the room was anticipatory - as if we were preparing for a party of some sort. 

I am not sure what happened next, but I was soon in a town centre - it did not appear to be Sheringham, as everything appeared to be bigger and less rural - although I was indeed standing outside the former post office/current sorting office. The light was strange - it was sunny but also reminiscent of dusk and there was a sense that a large party or carnival was to take place shortly. There werecrowds people in the streets drinking and having fun. I saw myself in the third person. I looked pretty much the same as I do in real-life, but my hair was slightly lighter in colour (dark brown instead of jet black) and my skin looked very white. I was wearing a black vest top and short black mini skirt. I had glittery black eye make-up which was smudged under my eyes and was holding a  clear plastic cup of fizzy red liquid with straws and cocktail umbrellas in it. There were two other females (both holding the same drinks) standing next to me, but I do not recognise them from real-life. in the dream I knew we were close friends. We were acting rowdy - shouting, possibly because we were drunk. The perspective then switched to first person again, although I was still at the same location, holding my drink and accompanied by the two unknown female friends. Now, instead of being a flat-exterior with a doorway on the front, the sorting office had a new wall coming out in an L-shape. The door to the building was 'behind' this new wall and my friends and I were crowded round the door. I then saw the character of Masood Ahmed (from Eastenders, played by Nitin Ganatra), dressed in his Royal Mail uniform. He was moving towards the sorting office door. I started shouting his name, as did the two female friends. We were desperate to get him to join us, but he seemed unwilling. I was shouting "Masood!" excitedly and trying to grab his arm. Our drinks were spilling everywhere. The door of the sorting office opened by a second male (unknown in real-life, not an Eastenders character) as soon as Masood knocked on it. As he tried to enter the building, I grabbed his arm, but he shook me off and went inside.

I was then in a dark (dimly lit) room which was filled with a double bed (with cream coloured duvet/pillows) and a small wooden bedside cabinet which was next the the bed on the right-hand side (as I looked on) and against the wall on the other side. There was a small lamp on the table, with a cream lampshade. I then saw myself in the third person again. I was wearing the same black vest and make-up as before (I noticed at this point, that my hair was tied back in a messy ponytail with frizzy strands falling around my face - same as it would look in real-life, except the lighter brown colour). Now the skirt was gone and I was wearing black knickers. Behind me was random bedroom furniture, nothing really recalled in much detail - the room was unfamiliar to me and I wasn't sure I ended up there as I did not 'travel'. I had the impression that it was the same day as the 'Masood' incident, just later in the evening.  The dream then switched back to first person perspective and sitting on the edge of right side of the bed - next to the bedside cabinet - was my close friend DJG. He was only wearing a pair of boxer shorts - I think they were cream in colour. His legs were open, with one on the bed and the left one wedged between the side of the bed and the cabinet next to it (although it seemed impossible that his leg should be able to fit in such a narrow gap). I got onto the bed and tried to straddle DJG. He was trying to push me off him and I was acting forcefully, attempting to sit on his lap. I was looking directly at his crotch area and knew that he was trying to reject me and did not find me attractive. I do not remember any words that were said between us. This was a highly sexualised situation and one which has never happened in real-life. I felt confused at the time of the dream as if I was aware my actions were out of line. I woke up. 
Sheringham in North Norfolk - the twon centre (above) & the former Royal Mail post office, now a sorting office (below). In my dream, the benches, planters and  payphones were not present and there appeared to be more pavement space
Nitin Ganatra aka Masood Ahmed in Eastenders

Thursday, 12 April 2012

Dream 35

Dream date: 6th April 2012

I was sitting in bed in my home in London. Everything appeared as it normally would in real-life. Beside me was a white female with brown hair and heavy make-up - in particular bright blue eyeshadow. I instantly recognised her as the human embodiment of the strip club dancer 'Tanqueray' from the episode of American Dad named 'G-String Circus' (2009) which I had watched the night of this dream. In my dream, the Tanqueray character began removing her eyeshadow with a facial cleansing wipe. I asked her why she was doing so. She told me that PS was coming and he wanted to lick her face, especially her eyelids, but he didn't like the taste of make-up. I was panicked. I went to the wardrobe in the bedroom and opened the doors - a huge stack of pornographic magazines fell out on top of me. I looked at the dates on the covers of the magazines and they were all 11th March 2012 - i.e. from the same day and very recent. I was angry at PS for having an affair with Tanqueray and for the porn collection I had discovered. I woke up.
 'Tanqueray' from American Dad - with the blue eyeshadow seen in the dream

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

Dream 34

Dream date: 4th April 2012

I was flying over a landscape (about 5 - 6 feet from the ground) which appeared to be made up of blue cubes, placed in a grid format. These cubes, which were mid-blue in tone, covered the entire ground and stretched up, like walls enclosing me. I could not see what was at the top. I was gliding, not travelling at any great speed. I had a feeling that I was in a hospital, although I could see no signs of other people (such as medics or patients) nor any medical equipment to validate this notion. I then saw an image of some glossy red lips - obviously belonging to a female. However they were dislocated from any other facial features and just popped up in my field of vision before vanishing once again. I wanted to stop flying through the 'hospital' and suddenly heard a voice on a tannoy system say: "If you realise you are in a dream you will be able to control it". I thought to myself: 'if only I could make myself realise I'm in a dream...' but I was unable to become lucid. 

I then saw that I was at home in London, although it did look quite different from real-life. There was more open space and the layout of the furniture appeared to be altered. I knew that I was no longer welcome there. I saw PS - there was a close-up of the side of his face, as if I were standing very close to him and only focusing on his profile. I begged him to allow me to stay in London. He refused, but would not turn to look at me. At this point, I got a sense that the room was opening up, creating more space around us. I turned to look at what was behind me. There were formica banqueting tables stretching out either side of PS and I, with further, identical rows arranged in front and behind, much like a cafeteria. Various persons were sitting at the tables, with plates of food before them. I saw my friend SD and a female companion, to my right (this female appeared to be a girl he had told me he liked in real-life, although he does not actually know her well - she works in a bar we visit and during a short conversation with her, we had discovered that she is French-Italian and a Nabovov fan, like myself). I felt happy that they were together. There were empty plates in front of them at the table. As I approached the female stood up, as if leaving. She said to me: "the way to get me is to buy me a salad" then walked away. I spoke to SD, but I cannot recall the content of our exchange. Soon, SD left. 

I worried about collecting my belongings from my home in London - indicating that a change of scene had taken place and the room we were in was no longer my home, but an unfamiliar location. I thought that by the time I got home, my belongings would be destroyed by PS. I was then at home, with many laundry bags full of my clothing (this is how a lot of my clothing is stored in real-life due to space limitations) - far too many for me to be able to physically carry, although in the dream I could hold them all at once. I began walking and the scene transitioned to my grandmother PC's house. She was not there, but there was an (unidentified) person working in her kitchen (which is set off the lounge area). Instead of a sofa in the middle of the lounge, there was a long counter (which would never fit in real-life). I emptied my laundry bags onto the counter and realised that many of my clothes were missing, despite there being several hundreds of garments. I was annoyed at the fact that all of my fancy party clothes and sexy dresses were absent, leaving me with the more practical or sporty items from my wardrobe, such as vest tops and tracksuit bottoms. I was agitated and wondered if I would be able to dress nicely again, given the lost items of clothing. 

I was then leaning on the counter. I noticed that it was white marble. I wondered if I had missed PC's birthday (this was a concern in real-life - the day of this dream I had suddenly realised that I may have missed her 71st birthday and was anxious about this when falling asleep). I used my mobile phone to call my mum, SM. I couldn't get through to her at first as the line was busy. I felt panicked. I remembered (rightly) that PC's  (monthly) birthstone was a diamond. I then thought: 'if I google 'diamond' maybe the internet will tell me what date PC's birthday is...' but soon realised that this was impossible and implausible. I wondered if her birthday was 8th April, but decided it couldn't be, as my cousin's birthday falls on 8th March, and PC's birthday is  a little less than an exact month apart. I was pondering what I should do to find out the correct date for PC's birthday (whilst experiencing strong feelings of guilt, as in real-life, when I had first realised my error) when my phone rang. The phone had been laying on the counter. The screen flashed blue, although it does not do this in real-life - it is a normal backlie Nokia, a very cheap model. It was my mum calling. She told me in no uncertain terms that PC's birthday was 17th March. I told her I thought she was mistaken, but she insisted and told me she should know as it was her mother. After I ended the phone call, I questioned this again, in my own mind. I was still standing, leaning on the counter, and was deep in thought. I knew in the dream that the date given by my mum was incorrect as 17th March falls within the zodiac sign of Pisces (I knew PC is an Aries) and the birthstone for March is bloodstone/aquamarine, and not diamond (I was adamant I was right about her birthday being in April and the correct birthstone being diamond and indeed, when I actually texted my mum the next day (in real-life), she informed me that PC's birthday had indeed been 3rd April 2012 - the day before the dream took place! She also told me to stop worrying as PC would not be upset at me for forgetting, as she knew I had a new job on top of my studies. I have since apologised to PC and sent her some cash as a gift to make up for my poor organisation. However, the knowledge I possessed in the dream and the wrong birthdate given by my (dream) mum would have provided excellent lucid dream triggers!)

I was then sat at the dining table in PC's house (which always makes me think of the colour orange and baked beans, due to my synesthesia). The white marble counter was no longer present in the room. I felt annoyed at myself that I had missed my grandmother's birthday as I am very close to her, having been brought up in the same house and being her eldest grandchild. I also felt angered that I had been forced to leave my home in London and lost my favourite clothes. I went upstairs (where in real-life many more of my clothes - I have thousands of items - are stored in my aunt VF's former bedroom and my own bedroom in that property, which my mum and I shared during my childhood). I put the clothes retrieved from London with the rest of my stored clothes and felt happy that the majority of what I owned was in one place, together. I woke up.


Hi Readers --- apologies for the lack of updates! 

As I have been super busy over the past few weeks, I just haven't had the time to properly conduct my dream experimentation or record my results. To make the task of maintaining this Blog a little easier for the present time, I will be drastistically simplifying my method of recording and with any luck should be back Blogging regularly soon. Please stay tuned and thank you for your patience.

Tallulah La Ghash