Sunday, 27 May 2012

Lucid Dream Report 3

I went to sleep having drunk alcohol, but remembered to practice my normal mnemonic induction meditation techniques. In the dream I was in my grandmother, PC's, home in Sheringham. My cousin, HM, was there with us. At first, we were upstairs, in bedroom where HM and her mum (my aunt, my mum's youngest sister, VF) used to sleep when they also lived at the address. This is the bedroom next to my room in that house and it looks onto the back garden. There were desks set up in the room and we were sitting at them, working. My mum walked into the room and informed me of an important horse race which would be taking place (HM's youngest sister, SF is a horse-rider in real-life). My mum said only two male jockeys were competing in the race on two horse (a two-man race, therefore) and asked me to use my legal qualifications to advise both of them before the race. I told my mum I could only really advise in criminal law, that being my area of expertise, and in any event, it would be a conflict of interest to represent both jockeys who were in a race, competing against one another. I then returned to the paperwork HM and I were working on. I realised it was maths homework and HM and I were to undertake an exam in this subject. This triggered lucidity, which came quickly. I was able to use my lucid mind to realise that I must be in a dream as I am terrible at maths and would not be sitting an exam in this subject. As soon as I became lucid, I had a strange, 'rushing' sensation which made me feel as if I were about to wake up. I tried to fight the urge to wake, telling myself that I had been trying to attain full lucidity for some time and mustn't waste the opportunities, which are few and far between. I managed to stabilise myself somewhat, but thoughts kept coming into mind - I kept thinking that I wasn't 'real' and my sleeping body was 'somewhere else' and therefore separate from the 'me' in the dream. The sensation of fully knowing I was physically sleeping whilst my mind, was active was unsettling to me on this occasion. I tried to control the dream so that I could concentrate on making it a positive experience. I thought about a small explosion, a safe distance away. Instead on a normal explosion, I caused a small burst of gold glittery star-dust to explode at around head height, in front of my eyes. It was very pretty, but I thought that it was a pathetic attempt at causing an explosion - or controlling my lucid dream. I told HM that I might not bother with the maths exam. I said that I wasn't actually taking maths as a subject and the exam was thus meaningless. She seemed keen to continue with her revision. 

We were then downstairs in the lounge of PC's home. PC was in the kitchen, preparing beans on toast for HM and I. I thought it was dusk, because the light outside was dim, but HM said it was early morning. I saw two large French bread baguettes on the table. HM picked them up to inspect them more closely. I told her I was asleep and dreaming and this was my dream, but both she and PC told me that I was being silly and I should start getting ready for my exam. I became bored with this situation and decided I should try and force something more interesting to happen. I felt myself waking up. It felt like I was being lifted out of a dark tunnel or hole, with the sensation of being horizontal - I think I could feel my own sleeping body lying in the bed. The darkness was getting lighter and I fought hard to stay asleep, telling myself not to wake up. I couldn't fight the sensation of waking and within seconds I was fully awake.

Monday, 21 May 2012

Dream 51

I was sitting at a table in the lounge area of The Dunstable Arms pub in Sheringham. This pub is at the end of the road where I used to live in Sheringham. My mum used to work in this pub in the 1980s (when her friend owned it) and my family were regulars there throughout my childhood and early adult life, when I lived in Sheringham. I was sitting with my mum and step-dad and there were various other people in this part of the pub. It was evening time. I was then standing at the bar with a male - in the dream he was a friend, but I am not sure of who he actually is in real-life. There was an old man behind the bar, serving drinks. He was moaning about how all young women are 'slags' who 'dress like whores'. I told the old man that I would serve him a drink whilst my male friend gave him oral sex (meaning a blowjob). I told my friend that he should go round the other side of the bar and give the man the blowjob. I started to mix a drink for the old man, even though I was still on the customer side of the bar, and thus the wrong side to reach the glasses and drinks. The drink I made for him was clear and very fizzy and I was pouring it into a half-pint glass with a straw in it. Whilst I was doing so, I was watching the old man, who was still standing behind the bar, but now bent over. He was wearing a light brown jacket over a white shirt. My male friend had pulled the old man's trousers and underwear down to his ankles and was standing behind him, lifting the back of his shirt and jacket. He was crouched behind the old man with his face against the old man's butt and was performing some form of oral sex on him. I thought to myself that it would be impossible for my friend to give the old man a blowjob from that angle (i.e. behind him) unless he could bend the old man's penis up and between his legs. I assumed that he must be sucking the old man's balls instead.

My attention was then distracted to the right side of the bar, where (on my side of the bar) Barbara Windsor was sitting on a bar stool. There was a young woman with black hair standing behind her. They were looking at a photograph. They called me over and showed me the picture, telling me that it was an image of me when I worked as a dancer. I looked at the photo. Indeed it was me, wearing a white bra top under an open hooded tracksuit top, unzipped; and white hotpants/stripper shoes. I was slouched against a curved wall and the photograph looked like it had been posed and professionally taken (for promotion or a portfolio) - although in real-life I have never worn that particular outfit, dancing or otherwise. Barbara and the young brunette woman were teasing me that they were going to show the photo to the old man, joking that he would not approve of the outfit I was wearing in the image. I was trying to persuade them not to, telling them that he was moody and would only criticise me for looking 'whorish' or slutty. Barbara told me not to be so silly, saying it was clear that the old man was in no position to judge as he had no morals anyway - she reminded me that he had just received a public blowjob from my friend. I woke up.
The Dunstable Arms, Sheringham
Barbara Windsor

Dream 50

Dream date: 20th May 2012

I was in a small dark kitchen and knew that somehow I owned and managed my own restaurant. I was in Sheringham. I was standing at the sink, looking out into the night through the window in front of me. The scene that I could see was the exterior wall of the kitchen and rear entrance of The Crown pub in Sheringham, as if I the building I was in were situated on Wymondham or Gun Street.

It was dark, being night-time, but the road and the pub were all lit brightly with fairy lights. The adjacent cottages (not depicted in the only photograph of the pub I could find online) were all brightly lit from within and there were people milling around, enjoying themselves, drinking and socialising outside the pub. Suddenly I saw a male dressed in black, wearing a balaclava. He was heading towards the rear entrance door to The Crown. I knew that he was there to burgle the premises and quickly I left my own restaurant (which was obviously closed for the night) and ran across the small expanse of street to The Crown so I could warn the staff that there was a burglar attempting to steal from them. When I got there all I could see where people drinking and having fun. I didn't find a member of staff as I had the sudden realisation that I had been tricked. I knew that my seeing the burglar enter The Crown was a ploy to get me to leave my restaurant so that other members of the same criminal gang could burgle me instead, whilst I was out of the premises. I was panicked and alarmed and ran back over to my business. I had been burgled. I was then in an area of the restaurant which seemed to be the large penultimate stair at the top of the staircase in my former home in Pine Grove, Sheringham (these stairs have been a recurrent theme in recent dreams). In real-life, my friend NH (whose mother still works at The Crown as a cook - and is a friend of my mum who also used to work in the kitchen of the Crown before moving on to the Two Lifeboats Hotel in the early 1990s and subsequently leaving the pub trade to work in a care home for the elderly) and I used to use this stair (which was a foot square in size, approximately) to set up a home for our Barbie dolls. We would sit on the stairs for hours and pretend the penultimate stair was a luxury penthouse apartment for our dolls. In the dream, there was a massive dolls house on this stair - although it was still a 'restaurant, not my home as it appeared to be). It was all very dark and there were no lights on in the building. It seemed that I kept all my accounts books and cash takings in the dolls house at the top of the stairs. Standing there with me was a male - he seemed to be a waiter employed by me and wasn't known to me in real-life. I told him that we had been 'robbed' although legally speaking it was a burglary. He said he had been asleep in the toilets and hadn't been aware. He helped me pull out the items from the doll's house so we could work out what had been stolen. Inside an orange leather-bound book was a ten pound note. I was happy and felt relieved that the thieves hadn't taken all of my money and I still had £10.

I was then outside again and it was daytime. I was looking over the sea wall (at the front of The Crown), at the beach and sea. There were a lot of people at this end of the high street - as would be expected in tourist season. It seemed that many islands had been created in the sea - all built like some fantastical new landscape with golden structures and many decorations and adornment. They were in the middle distance - several metres from the seashore/beach and were easily reachable. Everything was aesthetic and fairytale-like, like a series of magical kingdoms springing up from the water. I could see people on the islands, all happy and joyous to be in such pleasant surroundings. Fountains on the islands were shooting water up into sparkling arcs and there were lush palm trees and tropical flowers. I could even see white horses with golden saddles roaming amidst the people there - everyone seemed to be partying. I asked an elderly couple, standing alongside me at the sea wall (on the promenade) what had happened here. They told me that the local people of Sheringam had decided to create the scenes from 'Kubla Khan' (from the 1816 poem of the same name by Samuel Taylor Coleridge) including the Pleasure Dome as a series of islands. In the poem, 'Kubla Khan' refers to 'Kublai Khan' the Mongol ruler and emperor of China - and his summer palace was actually called 'Xanadu'. Therefore, in the strict sense, I was actually looking at 'Xanadu' as 'Kubla Khan' is a human character within the poem, not the place. However, in the dream, I mixed up the two or perhaps those 'locals' building the network of islands had got it wrong and I just passively accepted the misnomer. I then found myself in 'Kubla Khan' - on the islands. Indeed there was a massive party. However, it appeared the islands were still under construction. Everything was in shades of purple - lilac, violet etc - everything I could see was coloured this way (except the people, horses and golden structures). Even the sea which surrounded us was a light lilac-blue and sparkly like diamonds. Purple fish were leaping in and out of the water around me and there was lots of noise from the other people on the islands. I looked back at the shore and could see the high street as it would appear from this perspective in real-life. I felt a sense of unease, although nobody else on the islands (which had walkways of gold between them) seemed disturbed or unhappy in any way. I felt myself becoming lucid in the dream and realised that if I thought about something and really concentrated on it, I could perhaps force it to happen. I remembered that Coleridge had first written his poem when under the influence of opium and this worried me as for some reason I was convinced that if I kept making this mental association I would be forced to take heroin (strange, but this was how my semi-lucid brain was thinking at this point). I was looking out at the sea. I then (more lucid now) remembered that I have a real-life fear of having a dream where I am surrounded by deep water and anticipate what might be below the depths. Even the idea of statutes being partially submerged (or the thought of the kingdom of 'Atlantis' being beneath the sea) troubles me. I thought to myself that the worst thing to do in a lucid dream would be to think about the thing or event which panics you. I kept looking out to see nevertheless and within a few moments could see a tidal wave or tsunami rolling towards Kubla Khan from the horizon. Although becoming lucid is always my aim, I felt out of control and unable to harness my thoughts in a way which would enable me to enjoy the experience. I felt annoyed that I was ruining my lucid experience as a result of thinking bad thoughts and causing horrible things to happen and wished I could be back in Sheringham town again. I found myself at the end of the high street on the promenade again. I was looking out towards the islands of Kubla Khan and everything was harmonious again. I could see the shades of lilac and gold which characterised the islands and the party/construction was still ongoing. The sun was shining and there was no sign of the tsunami.
The Crown, Sheringham - the rear entrance/exterior of kitchen i.e. view seen in my dream
The end of the high-street in Sheringham (The Crown car park at far end, sea wall to left) where I was standing looking out to sea
Looking towards the end of the high street in Sheringham - sea wall at end
Sheringham sea wall
Sheringham sea
Lilac sea
Above & below are images found using the internet search terms 'Xanadu AND paradise islands' - strangely the bottom image was also found using the same search terms - and depicts the lost city of Atlantis! In my dream there was less grass and open organic landscape - the islands were very small and made predominantly of man-made structures, although there were palm trees and beautiful purple flowers everywhere, as described above - there was just a sense of their being less 'ground' and more sea surrounding me when visiting the Sheringham version of 'Kubla Khan' or Xanadu, as it should be properly named

Dream 49

Dream date: 18th May 2012

I was in the lounge of PC's (maternal grandmother) house in Sheringham, however this room was now upstairs. I was looking through my belongings (which in reality are stored at this property until I get my own home with space). There was an unfamiliar middle-aged male in the lounge with PC and I. I asked about a certain photograph, which I thought was in a frame. PC said that she hadn't seen the photograph and didn't know what I was talking about. I started arguing and was rummaging through my bags and boxes which had been brought into the living-room. I accused PC of losing or destroying the photograph and she was denying this strenuously. The male was backing up PC, telling me that I was wrong and should stop what I was doing/saying. This argument repeated itself as I frantically searched for the photo. I then noticed that my cousin, HM, was with us. I told her that we should leave together - I was in an angry mood. We turned to leave the room and I saw that the stairs were a composite of those I would expect to see in PC's house, and those of my old former home in Pine Grove, Sheringham (which in reality is a 5 minute walk from PC's home). It was dark on the landing at the top of the stairs. Suddenly PC rushes out of the room and loomed large in front of us, snarling in anger. HM clung to me in fear and said: "She's got a [blank]!" (I cannot recall what the object described by HM and held by PC actually was or what word was used by HM, hence the blank!) PC had something small and white in her hand. She raised it to her mouth and blew on it - like a fluffy white dandelion flower - sending small white things flying into the faces of HM and I as we stood at the top of the stairs, holding onto one another. We both screamed and fled down the stairs and out of the house.

I was then in an office room. There were desks positioned back to back and filing cabinets and stationary commonly associated with an office or workplace. Adjacent to the desks was a clear glass partition wall. I was at one desk working and PS was behind me, doing the same. A young woman walked into the office from the doorway which was next to my desk. She was non-descript and not known to me in real-life. Other than the fact that she was medium-build and had mid-length brown hair and was wearing jeans, I cannot recall any other detail about her. She was holding a CD in her hand. She asked if she could borrow some trousers, but I said 'No'. PS said that she could. I was angry as I was trying to concentrate on whatever work task I was undertaking at the desk. PS told me to go and find the girl a pair of my trousers to lend and I refused, but both he and the female persisted. I said: "The only white trousers I have are the white leggings and they won't fit her" (I do only have two pairs of white trousers - the leggings and a pair of skinny jeans). Nevertheless I was pressurised into finding the white leggings and lending them to the girl.

Next, we were standing at the bottom of a gym or school hall which was empty, but for our group, gathered at one end. Myself, PS and the female (who was now a very short man with dark brown hair and tanned skin) and the other people in the group, who I cannot individually recall, were getting ready to attend an outside music festival. We exited the hall through a fire door and were standing on the field where the festival was taking place. I talked to the short man. I could see that he had expression lines on his face and suddenly realised that he was intended to represent PP, an acquaintance of mine. I thought to myself that I should tell him that I liked his short stature, but I didn't want to sound rude or patronising and had feelings of shyness and regret at not being able to talk to him properly now I knew who he 'was'. The male took off his top and was reaching into his bag for something to change into. I noticed that the grassy ground was thick with wet mud. The male was taking out a pair of baggy white trousers. I said: "Your trousers will get too muddy", but the male (PP) said that these trousers were intended to get muddy so it wasn't a problem. He was now wearing the baggy white trousers, trainers and nothing else. We walked over to a massive sound system with a speaker stack that stood 12 foot from the grass. The music was reggae and there were people dancing everywhere, despite the mud. PP looked back at me and smiled widely and I wanted to speak further with him, but knew it would be impossible in the busy and loud rave environment of the field. I could see the big building (where the hall we had left was contained). It looked like my old high school building or my university - or a mixture of both. Myself and PP joined in and I felt happy.

Sunday, 13 May 2012

Dream 48

I was sitting in the lounge at my grandmother PC's home in Sheringham. It was night and the lights were on, brightly. My mum, SM was there and we were chatting. Various other family members were milling about the room, but my attention was focused on my mum and I did not turn to see who they were. Suddenly, both my mum and I looked up at the ceiling. There was a massive hole, but it also looked like an open sky-light. We could see the night sky and the legs of several black males; some ice boxes and general party paraphernalia - as if there was a party on the roof (although in real-life there is a first floor with bedrooms/bathroom). One of the men (unknown to me in real-life, but in the dream he seemed to be a friend) had a short Afro hairstyle and was wearing a bright pink T-shirt. He was holding a cocktail in his hand and he looked down through the hole and told us that we should come up and join the party (a couple of days before this dream in real-life, my friend MA - who happens to be black - had told me of a really cool bar in Camden which specialises in rum-based cocktails and said we should go there). My mum and I were happy to be invited and my mum said she hoped there was food there - we got up to join the party in an excited mood.

I then saw an image of my teeth close-up and at a slight side-ways angle (i.e. not straight-on, I could see the canine teeth and molars mainly). My teeth looked discoloured and over-sized. Some of them were badly over-lapping (my real teeth aren't great, but they are nothing like this!) and deformed. I thought to myself that this must be the cause of my real-life dental problems (my teeth have been troubling me, partly due to some wisdom teeth coming through, and partly due to my phobia of dentists which prevents me from getting them checked).

I was then upstairs, but I was in an attic. It was dark and dusty with wooden floorboards and several random objects and cardboard boxes scattered around. My mum wasn't there, but I was with a group of young people and it felt like a field trip as there was a middle-aged man in a suit talking to us as we wandered around the room. He drew our attention to a large object in the middle of the room. It was covered in a brown sheet. He told us that he was going to remove the sheet and show us the object (which he didn't refer to as anything in particular) which would be a reflection of our inner selves. I was aware that this 'object' was analogous to the portrait of the eponymous protagonist in Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Grey (1891). I didn't want to see what was under the sheet, given the story of Dorian Grey (who remains youthful and attractive on the outside, whilst a portrait hidden in the attic decays to reflect his inner lack of morality).

I left the attic and ended up in a canteen full of long tables, where various people were seated (a very recurrent theme in recent dreams). There was a ginger-haired male - he had extraordinarily long limbs, which were very pink (he was wearing a short-sleeved shirt so I was able to see his arms). His arms were flailing about and I saw that his hair was extremely bright, almost fluorescent orange. I sat opposite him, aware that he was a friend or acquaintance in the dream. He kept touching my face while I tried to make conversation about the strange trip to the attic. I got annoyed by the touching and got up to leave quickly. The male seemed to lack any social skills and seemed as if he might have learning difficulties.

I was then back in PC's lounge, talking to my mum. I was telling her that a girl (unknown to me in the dream, I was referring to her as 'this girl', not by name) had claimed to be pregnant and was telling people that the father was either FC (a friend from London) or DJG (a friend from Norfolk). I was getting angry, saying that she couldn't be allowed to play with these men's lives and lie when it was obvious neither of them were the father (my reasoning being that DJG has a girlfriend already and wouldn't cheat and FC is not currently in a position to be randomly linking girls). My mum was agreeing with me. We were suddenly no longer in PC's lounge, but now in the small lingerie shop in Sheringham where my mum's closest friend works. My mum's friend MF was there with us (it seemed as if we had gone in so my mum could chat with MF - something we used to do when we were out shopping in the town, back when I lived in Sheringham still). MF pointed out of the window of the shop, at the high street. She told my mum and I that a young woman (white skin, dark hair, that's all I can remember) standing with an older woman (her mother, cannot remember any detail about her appearance) was the girl in question - the one saying she was pregnant and naming my friends as the potential fathers. MF ran out of the door of the shop and over to the girl, standing by the town clock. She attacked the girl, pushing her down to the floor, while the mother tried to separate them. MF came back and told me that the situation was sorted and the girl had admitted that she hadn't slept with either of my friends. I was pleased and thought I should contact DJG (FC isn't contactable right now and I was aware of this in the dream) and tell him that the problem was sorted. I was at a computer (which appeared to be positioned on a desk, the same as it is in my real-life home in London, although I was still in the lingerie shop in the dream). I logged onto Facebook with the intention of messaging DJG, as in the dream, like real-life, I didn't have credit on my pay-as-you-go mobile. When I logged on, I saw DJG's status read: "It's over. Thank you" but instead of interpreting this to mean 'the situation is over, thank you for helping' (which is how I interpret it now with a waking mind) in the dream I thought he was actually saying 'my life is over' with the 'thank you' having a sarcastic, passive-aggressive meaning. I didn't leave a message and I felt sad for DJG.

I found myself back at PC's. My ex-boyfriend HL was present and I was talking to him. I asked him if he was planning on staying. He said he didn't know, but indicated that he was happy to be there talking with me. He looked the same as he did when I last saw him in real-life, perhaps about 4 years ago. Upon waking, I get the impression that he was a composite character, as many of the qualities I was attributing to him (upon reflection) appear to belong to the real-life 'friend' (for want of a better word, we aren't in contact currently and had a somewhat strained friendship in university) PP, who is of a 'broadly similar' racial background to HL. I think that the dream character was a combination of HL's looks and some of his personality traits, but largely the conversation (which I cannot recall in words, only 'feelings') was dominated with reactions, responses and gestures typical of my memories of PP. HL was wearing a white T-shirt with royal blue round the neck and sleeves. There was a period of time spent together in the dream where we were sitting on the sofa, deep in conversation. Then HL's mobile rang. He stood up and had a conversation. When he returned to me, I knew (from listening to his side of the conversation) that he had been asked to get involved with a conspiracy to import MDMA. He told me that he had to go to Stowmarket. I said I knew why and asked him not to leave me, but he said he had to. I felt neglected and lonely. 

I then was outside in sunshine, looking up at a very tall, thin metal pole - like a scaffolding rod. It was standing up on end, vertically, about 30 feet high. I could then see the top of the pole, as if I were level with it. There was a man (unknown to me in real-life) balancing on one foot at the top. He was really fat and pink-skinned with a balding head and brown hair. He was wearing a white vest and white trousers, rolled up, with bare feet. He looked quite precarious, almost falling. On one occasion he seemed to lose his balance completely and I felt anxious that he was about to fall, but he managed to somehow clamber back into an upright position and continue to balance on his one foot at the top. Myself and everyone around me started cheering and applauding him. 

Wednesday, 9 May 2012

Dream 47

Before I went to sleep, I meditated on the memory of my last previous dream, Dream 46 (follow link), willing myself not only to become lucid and recall my dream (as usual), but also to return to the situation in Dream 46. I felt that if I went back into this dream (albeit some days later), I would have more chance of realising I was in a dream state and becoming lucid. Indeed, my first memory of dreaming was a false awakening, although it felt real at the time and did not trigger lucidity. I was waking up in bed, in the same bedroom as that in Dream 46. However, N the dog was not with me and I could not see the monolith in the wardrobe. I was not aware I was still asleep and dreaming. My mobile phone rang. It was my mum. She told me CE had died of a heroin overdose. CE is a girl I know from my past. She is an unfortunate character who has suffered abuse her entire life due to her appearance, personality issues and drug/alcohol use. She has had her children removed from her care and has made some unusual lifestyle choices in recent times, but to my knowledge, is currently clean and sober and making the best of her situation. Admittedly I haven't been in touch with her recently. In the dream I felt guilty and shocked that she had died. I attributed real-life memories and knowledge of her life (she is on Facebook so I see her status updates) as reason for her sudden decision to return to intravenous drug use. In the dream my mum told me that it might be my fault and that I was a bad friend. In real-life we were not best friends, but we saw each other fairly regularly and trusted one another and I sympathised with some of her problems. However, since we had stopped regular communication, I had read her confession via Facebook, to an act which I thought was so intrinsically evil (it involved a dog) that I did not respond on a couple of subsequent occasions when she tried to make contact with me as I felt I might have to confront her on what she had done and was not ready to hear her justifications or excuses about it. in the dream I thought about this real-life situation. The phone call ended on a hostile tone. I do not remember exactly what was said, only that the conversation involved a discussion about CE and my feelings towards her, based on facts which are accurate in real-life. I was not standing by the bed, walking around. I went over to a small table in the corner of the room where a laptop was set up and switched on. My Facebook profile was already on the screen, logged in. CE had messaged me, saying: "Hiya! How are you?" I wondered if she wrote it before or after she died, or whether my mum had in fact been mistaken as to her dying after all.

I was then in a crowded canteen in university (not my actual university - I have many dreams which involve a university campus - perhaps because I am still a university student! I have done two undergraduate degrees, a masters degree and taken Bar exams and am currently studying for a PhD, so it's not surprising that a campus is a recurrent location in my dreams.Sometimes the campus is based on one of the two universities I am or have previously been in attendance at - York or UEA, but other times it is in a separate location, a familiar place which features in approximately half of all my dreams and appears to be a town, quite different to any I have ever lived in in real-life). I saw AKB, a girl I knew well in primary/high school, but have not seen in many many years. She was seated at a long bench in the busy room. I walked up to her and punched her straight in the face. I walked off quickly before I had a chance to see what happened. I then saw, seated at another table of people, ZP - someone I also knew in primary/high school but have not seen in many years. I punched her in the face also. I was then walking down a spiral staircase made of metal. It led from an exterior concrete walkway down to the ground level, a grassy field. I was with CW, another friend from school days who is now a police officer. I told her that I had assaulted AKB and ZP. She told me not to worry as her twin sister's boyfriend was a secret arms dealer who specialised in importing uzis. I asked her if this was M (this is her brother-in-law's name in real-life. I remembered in the dream that he is the proprietor of a shop in my home town also). She said it was. Halfway down the staircase, we stepped off onto another concrete walkway - on the exterior of the university buildings, like the balconies on high rise flats - and walked along it until we reached an area with patio tables and chairs. We sat down and had drinks. 

I then saw myself reflected in some dark glass. I was running on the spot, wearing a white vest. I saw my breasts bounce up and down as I moved. I watched this for a moment.

I was then in the Two Lifeboats Hotel (the hotel/pub in my hometown, where my mum was the manager and I worked as a teenager) in the restaurant area. Where the window would have been in real-life, was the blackboard advertising the specials (adjacent to the door into the bar). I was writing out a menu in chalk on the board, taking care to use my best handwriting - it was loopy and slanted to the right, in italics. I walked into the bar, where my mum was standing with two other females, AB and KC, both employees and family friends in real-life at that time. My mum told me I would be serving behind the bar. I was unhappy as I wanted to work as a waitress that evening. She said I couldn't do as I wanted and we argued. 

I was then in my bedroom again - that in scene 1, and Dream 46, not my real-life bedroom. I was aware PS was in the bathroom. In the dream, the bathroom was opposite the door to the bedroom. There was a normal white wall and door, but a section of the wall was cut out and there was a dark smoke-effect glass window, about a foot in width and running from ceiling to floor. I looked through the glass. PS was masturbating whilst sitting on the closed-seat toilet. He was holding a magazine. I waited and a moment later, I found myself walking into the bathroom. PS was no longer in there, although I do not recall that he walked out of the room. I saw the magazine sitting on the closed seat of the toilet. It was open on a page showing a full-page picture of Elisha Cuthbert. However, in the dream I knew her to be called 'Elisha Daschau'. She was wearing a a pair of white knickers and a blue cropped T-shirt. She had her arms raised above her head, so that the T-shirt had risen up to show the lower half of her naked chest.

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

Dream 46

I was watching from a third-person perspective. The landscape around me was arid desert, with sections of lush green grass in places. The sun was hot and bright. Coming into my field of vision, I could see an open carriage being pulled by animals. I do not recall what species of animal it was, but they were large - like horses or perhaps elephants (I watched Earthlings (2005) before falling asleep - this is a documentary about animal cruelty of all forms and featured elephants being mistreated by humans). The person sitting most prominently in the carriage was wearing a navy blue football-style shirt. It was tight across their chest and I could only see the torso of that person. I had the impression I was viewing myself in the third person, but was confused as this 'chest' had no breasts and was totally flat. I felt it couldn't possibly be me, it must be male. The carriage appeared to speed up then, and as it travelled past me, I could see the two persons riding in it. The one wearing the navy football shirt was actually male - I could now see it was my ex-boyfriend SL. He looked rough and unkempt. I saw that to his left a second (third person) version of myself was seated, crouching low, with my head on the side. I therefore only saw myself in profile. I noticed that my cheeks were darker than usual and I had very prominent cheekbones and a deep wrinkle running down the side of my face (like laughter lines) which I do not have in real-life. I was wearing my large silver hoop earrings. 

I was then in my grandmother PC's hallway (by the front door). I was standing next to the shelf where the telephone is kept. PS was with me. He told me that a girl had emailed him to ask him on a date. I asked what her name was. He seemed vague and said he thought it was 'Parvain' or 'Parvayn' (It is not a name I know in real-life). I was questioning him further. He said words to the effect of: "She's a Conservative voter, but she doesn't agree on the policies". I asked him how he could know this from a single email, given that he couldn't remember her name properly. He admitted that he had been having email contact with her for some time. There was more conversation, which I cannot recall.

I was then in my 'dream town' which I have written about at length elsewhere on this Blog. I was starting at the university there (a common location and event in this 'dream town') and had moved into a new room in the halls of residence. The room I was given was well-lit with a door, then a bed situated next to a wardrobe, which in turn was positioned against the wall. The room was small and I cannot recall any other detail about it. I was hugging N the dog (in real-life, whilst dreaming, I was doing the same thing as N was under the duvet). Suddenly I noticed that the wardrobe door had opened and items were slowly moving out. I specifically noticed a large dark brown/black rectangular object (in the side of the wardrobe closest to the bed and myself) coming out. I pushed all the items back in with my hands. I wondered if the rectangular object I had just seen was the monolith (a few days ago I had watched 2001: Space Odyssey (1968) and had a conversation with PS about the significance of the monolith in that film). I wondered if I was older or somehow changed, but I felt normal. However, I was also very fearful and thought to myself that there must be three living organisms in the room now - myself, N and the wardrobe/monolith or whatever was responsible for the items moving out by themselves. I was sitting up in bed. I then leaned over, balancing with my hands on the floor and the rest of my body still in the bed to see what items were on the bottom of the wardrobe. There were various mundane objects, like ringbinder files and packets of food on the floor of the wardrobe. Nothing else looked odd about the content. I saw a multipack of salt and vinegar crisps. It was blue and white. I decided to eat two packets of crisps, which I took from the multipack. I then found myself standing next to the bed, on the side closest to the door. Instead of holding packets of crisps, I was holding a huge joint, which I had apparently just rolled. PS entered the room and I showed him. He said: "That's not cannabis, that's the fake legal high stuff". I picked up a large bag, which was the same one that I had thought was the multipack of salt and vinegar crisps. On one side it was blue and white as I had previously seen, but as I turned it over, I saw that it was clear (filled with a substance that looked like cannabis), and produced by 'Natco' spice company (this is a brand I buy in real-life, I saw the front of the bag in the dream and noticed it resembled the packets of spice downstairs in the kitchen, so checked the name of the brand upon waking). It indeed was a fake cannabis product.

Tuesday, 1 May 2012

Dream 45

This was a very strange dream which comprised of a series of random, seemingly unconnected scenes. I woke up twice during the night (well, it was actually during the early hours of the morning) and on each occasion I could recall the parts of the dream I had just had and was able to fall asleep thinking of what had happened, allowing me to reenter a dream state quickly. 

In the first scene I was annoyed because my hair was dirty and needed washing. I recalled that in real-life, hours before I fell asleep, I had actually washed my hair. Remembering this added to my annoyance as I felt that it would be a waste of time given it had already been done. I then looked in a mirror and saw that my hair was dark brown at the roots, orange-yellow in the mid-sections and black at the tips, as if it had been dip-dyed. I was shocked and felt ugly.

I was then sitting at my desk in the bedroom of my London home. I was scratching lines into a piece of paper using a huge kitchen knife. I was attempting to write words, but I was unable to do so as the paper tore. I lifted it from the desk and saw I had cut a huge hole in the surface of the desk. Behind me was a white adult male, bare chested and only clothed from the waist downwards. He was unknown to me in the dream and in real-life. There was a small cartoon fairy (like Tinkerbell from Peter Pan in size) flapping her wings and hovering by his shoulder. The male handed her the butt-end of half a cigarette (unlit) and then asked her to massage his back. I watched the fairy massage him for a short time.

I was then looking at white space. My mum's voice said: "Choose the best one" and as I looked, three 'dragons' were depicted in the foreground of the space. They resembled over-sized bluebottle flies. The third one was just a blue and black scribble. I chose the last, scribbled one.

I was then in a hall or canteen, which was brightly lit and filled with tables and chairs where people were seated. I was then sitting at a table with an old school-friend I haven't been in contact with for many years, AP. She Behind us, sitting at another table, was another former school-friend, MS. MS invited AP to a party. He didn't specifically invite me and I felt left out. Standing up, beside MS was another male. I could only see his jeans and a red checked lumberjack-style shirt. AP and I debated as to whether this male was who we thought he was, although we didn't mention a name - we came to the conclusion we didn't know the standing male and had simply mistaken him for someone else. My grandmother PC was then in the room. I stood up to speak to her and we had a screaming argument, both of us grabbing the other one and pulling, aggressively. It was a very violent, loud conflict. It seemed that PC did not want me to socialise with AP or MS. I shouted at her as I finally got myself free from her grip. I was enraged and found myself standing by the living-room window of PC's Sheringham home, staring out into the night. 

I then saw myself in the mirror again. Without lifting my eyelid, I saw I had a growth there, behind my eyelashes. It was about the size of a pound coin and looked like a bright pink nipple. I felt scared and anxious. I got a hot wet flannel (like a compress) and held it against my eye until I felt the growth burst, spurting pus into my eye. As I turned around, I saw a male figure, unknown to me. He was tall, with dark hair, but I can recall no other defining characteristics. He had long strands of snot coming from his nostrils, which appeared now to be grossly over-sized, like huge black holes in his face. The snot seemed to trail down to his knees and he picked each strand up with his hands. He said: "How are you going to explain this?" I walked away and found myself sitting on a toilet, peeing. I was thinking about the male and tried to remember the word 'snot' but in my dream, I just couldn't think of the word I meant. It felt like it was on the tip of my tongue. I woke up.