Friday, 22 June 2018

Dreams 925 - 940

My dreaming has lapsed A LOT over the past few months. This is for a variety of reasons in my personal and private life, which I may discuss at various points in my Blog posts, but generally it suffices to say here that all of these circumstances have had a massive impact on my mental and emotional resources. I therefore was unable to concentrate on my dreamwork alongside other responsibilities and since I wasn't concentrating on dreamwork, I wasn't Blogging, and because I wasn't Blogging, I had no impetus to concentrate on my became somewhat of a viscious cycle. I have learned enough about myself that if I lapse on something I find it really hard to start again, as if the project (or whatever it may be) is flawed beyond repair. It takes a while for me to break that apathy and malaise and jump back into things. Today, that breaking point was writing up the very few dreams I managed to recall and record during my hiatus. Oftentimes, I might not write any notes upon waking, so my dream recollections are poor due to struggling to recall details later in the day. I did not date my dream records, so I am only able to state which month the dreams occurred in with any certainty. I have chosen not to do any analysis or additional notes (even though there was plenty of material such as Day Residue and Dreamsigns which I could have included) as I thought that would be too overwhelming a task for my first multi-dream Blog post in such a long time. 

Dream 925
'Attempted Theft'
Date: April 2018
Scene 1: An Unknown Nightclub/Bar Interior - Time Unknown
I was in a dark bar or nightclub - I cannot recall where it was, or if it was daytime or night. I was sitting on a stool at a curved bar area at the back of the venue, and a short distance away was a small group of dream characters - all male, some white and some black. Someone (I cannot recall who) said: 'That's KU's girlfriend' [referring to me]. I wondered why they were discussing my business. Something made me leave my seat and get up to walk a short distance away. I left my purse and my mobile phone on the bar. I then realised this, as my back was turned. I went back to collect my forgotten belongings, just in time to see a male dream character (no details recalled) about to steal them. I dashed over and snatched them up just in time. I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Dream 926
'Kitchen Conversation'
Date: April 2018
Scene 1: My Kitchen, Norwich - Day
I was in my kitchen in my flat in Norwich, with my Mum (who has never actually been inside my flat in real life). My Mum was standing at the kitchen counter and we were discussing things - I think we may have been arguing. I then walked over to the wall and crouched down beside it (facing the wall, with my back to my Mum) to make a telephone call - either to KU or abou KU. There was some indication that he had been arrested - or perhaps it was my Mum, behind me saying/asking about police arrest while I was on the telephone. I ended the call and felt reassured that everything would be OK. I told my Mum about the telephone call, but I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Dream 927
'Potatoes & Sweetcorn'
Date: April 2018
Scene 1: My Nan's House, Sheringham - Day
I was in my Nan's house in Sheringham, in the living-room. KU was with me, and various family members were present, including my Nan and my cousin HM. I was stressed as KU and I were meant to be travelling somewhere, but there was some issue - either we were going to be delayed, or there was some uncertainty with our plans. This was the background to why I felt stressed in the dream. I think we may have been waiting for a taxi to arrive. I recall looking out of the window and noticing that the weather was sunny or at least bright and dry.

My cousin HM was cooking some food. I saw a close-up of the food she was cooking - she was boiling water in a pan and put in some whole new potatoes and emptied in some cans of sweetcorn. I go angry with her and asked her why she was cooking the potatoes and sweetcorn at the same time, as the potatoes needed a lot more cooking, and the sweetcorn would only need to be heated lightly. HM started arguing with me, saying that her way was right. This descended into shouting at one another, My Nan then stood up and took HM's side. I was even more angry now. The taxi arrived outside. I said to KU (sitting in an armchair near the living-room door, not involved in the family dispute) that it was time for us to leave. There were some suitcases. I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Dream 928
'Unwanted Baby'
Date: April 2018
Scene 1: A Hospital Interior(?) - Time Unknown
I was in a room was quite dark, but appeared to be a hospital setting. I was standing with another (unrecalled) dream character, in front of a red table top which was adjacent to a wall. On the table was a range of magazines, aimed at expectant or new mothers. The front covers of the magazines depicted pregnant women or women holding babies. I was then told by the unrecalled dream character that I was due to give birth in 3 weeks. I checked my body and discovered I was actually pregnant and this made me very anxious. I asked if I could avoid giving birth, but I was told that this was impossible. I did not want the baby and I did not want to give birth and then have the baby adopted, so I felt stuck in the situation. I then saw my cousin HM sitting on top of the blue covers of one of the many beds lining the other side of the room. She did not seem unwell or in distress, so I felt calm, but wondered why she was there (in the hospital? my location wasn't clear even then). I cannot recall anything else about this dream. 

Dream 929
'Abandoned at a House Party'
Date: May 2018
Scene 1: A House Party - Night
I was at a house party in an unknown house, which was familiar in the dream. There was a booth-style seating (red) lining one of the walls in front of a window. It made me think I was in a lounge. I cannot recall all the guests, but KU and R3A were present. Both were ignoring me and pretending I wasn't there when I tried to speak to them. I felt abandoned. KU was laying on the booth-seating. R3A was sitting alone in a different corner of the room. I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Dream 930
'Ms Flat Booty'
Date: May 2018
Scene 1: A Bedroom - Time Unknown
I was in a bedroom, which was not my own or one I recognise from real life, but in the dream it felt familiar to me, as if it was my bedroom. I was posing for some nude photographs - I think I may have been modelling while someone else took the photographs. I saw myself in third-person perspective and realised my (usually curvy) hips and butt were completely flat and non-existant. I still had thick thighs and a lot of cellulite, but standing in profile, by butt was almost concave. The rest of my appearance seemed to be as it is in real life, as far as I can recall. I felt very unattractive and ugly and wondered how I would be able to pose for the nude photographs when my body had changed so much. I saw myself looking in a full-length mirror on the front of a wardrobe. I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Dream 931
'Tooth Hole'
Date: May 2018
Scene 1: An Unknown Interior (Unrecalled) - Time Unknown
I was in a house with my Nan and some other (unrecalled) members of my family and/or dream characters. I did not recall the location of this scene, other than it was a house and may have been my Mum's flat or my Nan's house in Sheringham. My Nan was cooking a large piece of meat for us to eat. However, I was aware that I had a large hole in one of my lower front teeth - it was on the front of the tooth, so very visible. It looked like a large black cavity. I was really anxious and concerned about my tooth as I have a phobia of dentistry, so never ever go to the dentist. I did not want to eat the meat with such a large hole in my tooth. I saw my open mouth and the problem tooth in close up, third-person perspective (I do not think I was looking in the mirror). My teeth (and the hole) was much larger than real life, as I could fit my index finger in the hole and turn the finger in the space. I kept fiddling with my tooth until it fell out, which was almost a relief as I did not have an ugly hole, and the gap was more acceptable to me than a bad tooth. I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Dream 932
Date: May 2018
Scene 1: A Hospital/House - Night
I was in a house which was also like a small hospital. At some point I realised that this room was in my Nan's house in Sheringham, as it led through to her kitchen and back porch area. However, at this stage in the dream, it appeared to be an unfamiliar room, with an operating table in the centre. There was a body laying on he table, covered up and a number of (unrecalled) dream characters (surgeons? doctors?) standing around, as if about to operate/treat this unidentified body. I was then aware my Mum was with me, standing near this operating table. We were discussing a small child - a male dream character, who was a toddler (18 months - 2 years) and in my care. He was not my son, but I was responsible for him. I then realised that the child was now missing, which set me off into a panicked state. I told my Mum that the child was lost. I then saw (a flashback? memory?) of the child climbing over the body on the operating table and jumping down onto the ground. I realised he had run away. My Mum tried to calm me down and say that we could easily find a small child, but I was not sure. I wanted to call the police, but my Mum said we should 'check the kittens'. We walked out of the room, which led to my Nan's kitchen and we exited the backdoor, leading to the porch area. There was a small wooden table, almost waist height. On this table were 3 kittens - 2 were pure black and the other was ginger, and slightly larger. The ginger kitten was the 'male child' (albeit transformed into a ginger kitten, an event which I did not question or find weird in the dream). I was pleased to see the 'child' and told my Mum that he must have wanted to find the black kittens. I picked one of the black kittens up and snuggled it. I knew I wanted to keep it. My Mum said I should keep boh black kittens as they were 'twins'. I was pleased. I no longer had interest in the child now that he was found safely and I had kittens to play with.

Dream 933
'Infiltrated by Colleagues'
Date: June 2018
Scene 1: My Flat, Norwich - Night
I was in my flat with my best friend, AS. It was night and we wanted to go and smoke some cannabis outside. We either rolled some joints or we had already had them rolled. The scene cut to us coming back in from smoking, although in the dream I cannot recall us actually being outside/smoking the cannabis. As we come back into my flat we noticed that our boss (DT) and colleagues were all in my flat. DT told us that it was a work party (so not strictly a social event) and they had decided to host it in my home. I had not given permission for this and was annoyed to see my flat filled with nearly 40 people. It was crowded and AS and I just waned to hang out with each other and not deal with anyone else, especially not our boss, given we were stoned. I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Dream 934'
'Throwing Him Out'
Date: June 2018
Scene 1: My Flat, Norwich - Time Unknown
I was in my flat in Norwich, with KU. I am not sure if anyone else was present. I told KU everything that I think about him in real life, things that I have told him in real life, but which I do not think he has actually taken on board. I told him to leave and was firm about it. I cannot remember the specifics of the conversation, only the general content and tone. 

Dream 935
'Sex with ASF'
Date: June 2018
Scene 1: An Unknown Interior - Night
I was with ASF, who is a 'friend' of KU. In the dream there was some vague notion of going somewhere to meet ASF and not quite being sure of what was going to happen. There was a sense (my recollection is poor) of getting to know each other during a conversation and me then being somehow persuaded in my own mind that I wanted to have sex with him, and asking him to accompany me to one of the bedrooms in the house. I do not remember any sex scene from this dream. I cannot recall anything else about this dream either, other than it seemed to be much longer than this report would suggest.

Dream 936
'Lions/Tigers(?) on a Bridge'
Date: June 2018
Scene 1: Outside Location - Day
I was in an outside location - it looked very much like the countryside or suburbs - so perhaps quite like my own city of Norwich in Norfolk. There was a lot of green grass and perhaps some buildings, although I cannot specifically recall seeing any in the dream. It was daytime and I was standing in front of what appeared to be a bridge, or some kind of high wall made of grey stone. I was with other dream characters who I cannot recall. We were watching 2 lions/tigers (I cannot recall) walk towards each other, in the direction of the centre of the bridge/wall. I felt quite anxious even though they were at least 5 meters above me and would not be able to reach me. 

Dream 937
'Old Familiar Bookshop'
Date: June 2018
Scene 1: A Secondhand Bookshop - Day
I was in a secondhand bookshop and felt so pleased to be there. I was staring at a floor-to-ceiling shelf, containing thousands of old books. The wall was also a sliding door, disclosing another room full of books. The elderly white man who ran the bookshop (a dream character) was seated to the left. I wanted to find the horror section (this being the section I used to head for in real life when I was a very young child visiting the secondhand bookshop with my Nan on a Saturday). I went up some stairs. While not lucid, I started wondering which bookshop this 'represented'.  I guess there were elements of dream deja vu and pre-lucidity, as I thought: 'I have definitely been here before, but I can't remember which secondhand bookshop this is'. Upstairs I entered the room which I knew to have the horror books. It had a lot of low level (waist height) pale brown shelves, but they were mainly empty. The majority of things for sale seemed to be dried flowers or potpourri. I was very disappointed. I wondered if the outside of the secondhand bookshop was a Tudor-style building. I wandered around this top floor, but then realised it was useless as there were no books there and nothing I wanted. There were only a few other dream characters browsing this fairly large space. I went back downstairs and began looking at books on the copiously-stacked shelves on the lower floor.  

Dream 938
'Failed Exam'
Date: June 2018
Scene 1: A University - Day
I was at a university. I am not sure if it is my own university or another, as I cannot recall any details which would indicate. I had to sit a number of exams. Some of my peers from high school were present, yet I knew this was university not schooldays. Everyone - including those pupils who had been very poor educationally and sometimes had learning difficulties - seemed to find the tasks we were set and being assessed on incredibly easy. I could not figure out what was required of me, and this made me frustrated, as I was the only student who could not complete the assigned task. In fact I was unable to even start it. It appeared to be some form of history test I think, but also involved some aspect of 'employment' or 'office work' - it is just a vague recollection (in real life I had mentioned that my A-level history exam was the most difficult to revise for based on the sheer amount of detailed material to remember). I was told that I could do the assignment again, after everyone else completed their own. I did this. I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Dream 939
'Laptop Problems'
Date: June 2018
Scene 1: A Domestic Interior - Time Unknown
I was in a domestic interior, which is unrecalled, but which felt familiar in the dream. I was really anxious and upset because my laptop was broken. It was broken in a really weird way, as first, I lifted it and half the screen fell off (in the same way my toilet seat had in real life just prior to this - the screws holding it in place came loose). Then the other side fell off as I tried to fix this. Then the laptop sort of splintered into a number of pieces, all strange geometric shapes, and in much greater quantity than would form a laptop. My Mum said she would fix the laptop and was trying to calm me down. I said that she would not be able to fix the laptop and I wanted her to take me to get it repaired, but she seemed to think there was no need. I then realised - after the fact - that my laptop had been intentionally vandalised by a young woman ('Chloe' in the dream) who had been staying at this house with me/my family. I 'remembered' she had also stolen some money from me, and - I assumed, although was not sure - a quantity of cannabis from my room. I went into a different room, which was supposedly my bedroom, but looked much more like an industrial storage unit or warehouse, with silver metal shelving units. In the room there was an older male dream character, who appeared to be dressed as a scientist in a white labcoat. He was white, with balding grey hair and glasses and was approximately 55 years old. He handed me a glass jar of cannabis and pointed to a bedside cabinet (which looked like my own at home in real life) that did not appear to be beside a bed. On top there was a leather wallet with lots of banknotes inside - my cannabis and money had not been stolen. My reaction was to think: 'I don't keep my money in a wallet'. I did not think this lucidly, however. I still wanted to seek revenge against 'Chloe' for the broken laptop, but my Mum was intent on fixing it and not trying to find where she had fled to. 

Dream 940
'Back at the Law Firm'
Date: June 2018
Scene 1: My Former Law Firm - Day
I chose to return to work in my former law firm, however the office looked very different - bigger and much more modern, yet still minimalist and stripped down. Note that I had recently been considering returning to a particular job in legal practice (criminal defence law), which puts this dream into context. JA was there and she seemed surprised to see me, asking why I had wanted to return to work there. She did not seem unhappy to see me though, as I would expect (based on real life events), and she appeared to be in the position of my boss. She said that I could get on with my work. I cannot recall what happened in this dream as there was a lot more which I am unable to recall, involving discussions with many of the people I used to work with and some content which would be relevant to the context of working in criminal law, because I do remember I was looking at a number of case files which had been left on my desk and had found the first few to be motoring offences (my absolute least favourite type of criminal case). I also recall that there was some point in the dream when I noticed everything was washed in a blue light, which I found odd for an office.