Tuesday, 18 August 2015

Dream 478 (My Favourite Dream Ever!)

'My Kurt Cobain Dream'
Dream date: 17 August 2015 (Dream #3 of this date)

This is a very difficult dream to record due to the context. I will do my best to convey exactly what happened. I have also made a Youtube video discussing this dream, as it was so significant to me and the most enjoyable dream I have ever had. 

Scene 1: A Hairdressing Salon, Sheringham - Afternoon
I was a teenager - approximately 14 - 15 years old. I was working part-time in a hairdressing salon, with my mum, after school. This hairdressing salon was a figment of the dream - and it was located near the library in Sheringham. It may have been in the exact location of the library, so therefore on New Road, Sheringham (see Google Street View images, below).

The owner of the salon - a female dream character - looked in a drawer and pulled out a purple box, which was peroxide/hair bleach. She told me (because I was locking up after the salon closed) that a customer would be coming in to pick up the hair dye as he was going to use it to bleach his hair at home. I was sweeping the floor with a broom and agreed that I would make sure that the customer would receive the dye when he called. I was unaware of the identity of the customer at this point. 

Then, the 'customer' entered the store. It was a teenage Kurt Cobain. He was wearing a plaid shirt, a white T-shirt, ripped jeans and Converse sneakers. He was approximately the same age as me (i.e. 14 - 15 years old), but unmistakably him. I was overwhelmed. 

Then I remembered why Kurt Cobain was here with me in Sheringham - this thought dawned on me suddenly. Below is the realisation I came to in the dream at this point:

I basically had knowledge of Kurt Cobain's entire biography -from birth to death as in the dream, I was me (the real-life me) and had lived my life up to the age I am in real-life, being a Nirvana fan. In the dream I knew I had collected all of my real-life memorabilia relating to Kurt/Nirvana and Kurt had lived his actual life with the same biographical facts/details as in real-life. 

I was a teenager in the dream because I had time travelled. However, instead of travelling back to the year in which I would have been 14 - 15 years old, I had travelled back to the year in which Kurt would have been this age. In reality, I would be much younger than him (literally a baby!), but the faulty dream logic meant that we were now the same age. It did not seem like 1982, but rather present day - although faulty dream logic was again responsible for this discrepancy.

I had time travelled to Kurt's teenage years to save him from his fate (i.e. an unhappy childhood, being bullied at school, feeling unwanted, health complaints, drug addiction, fame, marriage to Courtney Love and suicide). By going back to his teenage years, I decided to bring him to Sheringham where my family would adopt him and give him a happy life so that he would not commit suicide at the age of 27. However, because I had 'played God' and interfered with his life history, he would now never be the frontman of Nirvana or become a famous icon - he would just be an ordinary person. I realised in the dream that without the pain, negativity and real-life events which shaped him, he would not make the music he would have done if he had continued to live his own real life. Therefore this dream represented Kurt's life in a 'parallel universe' - an alternative reality in which I determined how Kurt's life would continue from the age of 14/15 years onwards.

My 'aunt' (I am not sure which one) had apparently been sent in the dream, back to Aberdeen, Wshington, USA to collect Kurt who was at the time staying with different friends as his father could not deal with him. He was to be known as my 'second cousin' to explain why he was now living with my family in Sheringham.

As I had knowingly time-travelled in the narrative of the dream, I was aware of how Kurt's life would have unfolded if it was left uninterrupted. I had also brought all of my Nirvana memorabilia back in time with me, and placed them in a locked safe, just in case I needed to show them to Kurt, although initially, I was adamant that he should never see this alternative version of his life or know how his true biography would been mapped out had I left him alone. I knew that in the alternative reality I had created for Kurt, he would never meet Courtney Love and be a father to Frances Bean, so these real-life biographical facts would also have to be hidden from him so that he did not blame me for interfering with the course of his life. 

However, because in the dream (prior to me time travelling and creating the alternative reality/parallel universe in which Kurt was my adoptive brother/second cousin) I had been a fan of the adult Kurt and Nirvana - and had read biographies/interviews/his published journals; and watched many documentaries about him as well as listening to practically everything he ever recorded - I knew just about everything about him which was available in the public domain. In the new alternative reality/parallel universe I was going to be sneaky and use my knowledge of Kurt (i.e. his likes/dislikes, tastes, hobbies, expressed inner thoughts/feelings/opinions/views) to get close to the teenage him and become his soul mate - possibly make him fall in love with me (because I could adopt some of the characteristics/traits/qualities/style of Courtney Love, assuming these were what attracted Kurt to her and made her the love of his life). I knew this was manipulative, but my intentions were genuinely to help Kurt.

I introduced myself to Kurt and told him he would be living with me. We left the salon and started walking down the side of the building, as indicated in the image below (this being the location which in real-life is at the side of the library in Sheringham). I touched Kurt's hair (which was bleached blonde) and noticed it was fine and silky - shaggy and jaw-length with slightly darkened roots. Kurt was around my height, very skinny, but extremely cute and handsome (see the images of a teenage Kurt Cobain, below). I fell instantly in love with him, he was so adorable and smiley. I told him that when we got home, I would help him bleach his hair more.

Kurt did have the stomach condition that plagued him for his entire life, but with my family's help, we were getting him treatment (holistic) so that he would never need to take opiate-based medication which would have led to his drug use. I was going to protect Kurt from all negativity and make sure he was never depressed and never experienced heroin - or even cannabis/alcohol. 

There was a scene where Kurt and I were messing around with an acoustic guitar, but he was not as musical as he would have been in his 'real' life as he did not have the pain and hurt to fuel his musical ambitions or provide him with the inspiration to make the kind of music Nirvana were famous for - he was just too happy and content in his new life and had a lot of other interests and hobbies - and friends. Music was just something to enjoy, not a driving force or ambition or means to escape his existence. 

Scene 2: Sheringham High School - Day
I was sitting opposite Kurt in a lesson, joined by other dream characters - various real-life students who were in my year at school. Kurt was drawing something in a schoolbook with a pencil, which he was twirling in his hand. Kurt was a good student and seemed to enjoy school now he had a stable home life. I was telling my classmates what a nice person he was and encouraging them to be friendly to him, which they were. Everyone seemed happy. 

One boy. JT was acting like the class clown and teasing Kurt and I. I said to him: 'Would you rather behave normally or be married to someone from the BNP (British National Party)?' - I am not sure what this question actually means, but JT started laughing, got up from his seat and started dancing around me in an annoying way. I turned my attention back to Kurt and he and I started laughing at how stupid JT was acting. 

Scene 3: Sheringham Seafront - Day
I am not sure how it came about (given this was an alternative reality/parallel universe and Kurt was still a teenager), but someone had posted up huge billboards advertising a Nirvana tour on the outside of the pubs along the seafront (in particular, the building which used to be called 'The Shannocks' when it was managed by my mum during my actual teenage years - see Google Maps image, below). The billboards were in black and white and had photographs of the band - obviously Kurt was his adult self in these photos, but I was aware that if he saw them he would recognise himself and my secret would be revealed to him. I was trying to distract him from seeing the images and was successful.

Scene 4:  Fish & Chip Shop, Sheringham - Day
Kurt and I were then in a fish & chip shop (probably in Sheringham, but not one which exists in real-life). I was dressed in clothing reminiscent of something Courtney Love would have worn during her relationship with Kurt (i.e. the grunge/kinderwhore fashion) and was doing my best to act like her and make him fall in love with me. I felt my deception was working, as Kurt felt like my soulmate and reciprocated my affections towards him, by holding my hand and telling me how happy I made him.

Scene 5:  School Bus, Common Lane, Sheringham - Day
Kurt and I were then on a school bus, coming home from school (Sheringham is so small we could have easily walked home). The bus was driving up Common Lane (see Google Maps image, below), towards my nan's house. There was a bus stop halfway up the road, although this is not there in real-life. I was aware of a dream character (not someone who actually exists) - a small, thin white female with short black hair, named Kathy. Kathy got off the bus at this stop and Kurt quickly ran after her, dismounting at the same stop. I was not quick enough to chase after them, and the bus pulled off. I started shouting at the driver: 'Stop! Stop! I was supposed to get off at that stop' (or words to that effect). I was panicked the fact Kurt had got off the bus without me, but the driver stopped a few meters up the road from the bus stop and I got off. I ran down the road, shouting: 'Kurt! Kurt!' When I caught up with Kurt and Kathy, the two were in pleasant conversation. I told Kurt that we had to leave as we would be late home for dinner - I wanted to prevent him from speaking to Kathy.

Kurt and I bid her farewell and walked off. I said to Kurt: 'I thought you fancied her then!' to which he replied: 'I do, I want to be her boyfriend'. This really upset me and I was jealous. I then decided to hurt Kurt since he was replacing me with Kathy when I was supposed to be his soulmate and saviour. I said: 'I have something to show you' and planned to now reveal the Nirvana memorabilia and make him listen to the Nirvana records (to demonstrate who he would have become and what his life would have been like if I hadn't time travelled and changed the course of his future. 

The first track I played for him was 'Something in the Way' from Nevermind (1991). I had chosen this track as the lyrics refer to a time when Kurt was homeless and starving, living under a bridge in Aberdeen - I wanted to fully show him the situation I had saved him from (see the images below which show the bridge under which Kurt Cobain sought shelter while homeless - as referenced in 'Something in the Way' - which has since become a shrine to his memory).

Kurt could not relate to the song or the lyrics, or reconcile the realisation that in an alternative reality/parallel universe he was the celebrated icon of a generation ('Generation X'); the voice of 1990's youth/slacker culture; a multi-platinum musician with sell-out tours and millions of fans around the world; and undoubtedly one of the greatest rock stars ever. 

He was also upset to learn (from me showing him my Nirvana memorabilia) that in his life - as he was supposed to have lived it had I not changed the course of history - he was a heroin addict who was married to Courtney Love with whom he had a daughter. It was like he could not accept the 'real' life he would have led, and wished he had been allowed to live it at the same time. The revelation I had altered the course of his life blew Kurt's mind and made him so upset - I think he was crying at this stage. He begged me not to show/tell him anything else about what his life would have been like if it had run it's course, but I kept on telling him what an important band they had been and how he would have been the spokesperson of a generation.

In the dream I had another realisation at this point - sparked by my recognition that (a) 'playing God' with Kurt's life; and (b) then revealing the fact to him out of pure spite and anger, when I felt jealous of his feelings for Kathy was a selfish, cruel and immoral act. I knew I should not have tried to change someone's journey through life, manipulate their free will/fate (whichever!) and shape their destiny according to my own views about what was best for them. Who was I to determine someone's unique path? Why would I have erased the amazing legacy of Kurt Cobain and Nirvana?

I was also aware that in changing Kurt's life, I not only took his music away from him, but also the world at large - Kurt was such a hero/icon to so many, summing up the apathetic existence of modern youth and its discontents, that I had stolen his opportunity to speak out to his millions of fans who related to him and found solace/comfort in his art which he gifted to everyone and sacrificed his health and happiness for. I had literally deprived him of his life. I had also denied Krist Novoselic and Dave Grohl their own careers and place in history. I knew I had done the wrong thing and felt terrible.

TIME: 11:15 - 15:00 hours (I woke up from this dream)
SPECIAL NOTES: None of note

Dream Information:

  • The entire context and narrative of the dream was a dreamsign!

Recurrent Dream Themes:
  • Sheringham High School as a dream scene location

Potential Day/Dream Residue:
  • On 15 August 2015, I saw a male with hair similar to Kurt Cobain - and told DL that I liked the colour/style of it
  • On 16 August 2015 I was chatting with a Facebook friend about Nirvana/Kurt Cobain, as we are both massive fans of his - I posted a link to the leaked 'Fecal Matter' demo by Cobain

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
I woke up thinking this was the most significant dream I have ever experienced - and I felt the same way as I did at the end of the dream - extreme remorse at my actions. However, I was also pleased to note that my subconscious self/dream ego had recognised the immorality/error of my ways while still in the dream state. My dream thoughts were a reflection of my actual waking thoughts. 

This dream was also powerful to me as an aspiring writer/novelist as I thought that it would make an incredible novel - I am always hoping to get inspiration and ideas for my creative writing from the material or my dreams. But, upon reflection, I think it would be extremely difficult to address the paradox at the heart of the narrative - I am not sure I could do justice to this story and deal adequately with the concept of alternative realities/parallel universes. I am also unsure that I could write the character of a teenage Kurt Cobain, despite my vast biographical knowledge about him. 

I have made an accompanying Youtube  video about this dream, because it felt so significant and is easily my favourite dream to date.


'My Affair with Mark Thompson'
Dream date: 17 August 2015 (Dream #2 of this date)

Scene 1: My Bedroom in Norwich - Day (False Awakening)
I had a false awakening, without sleep paralysis. My bedroom looked as it does in real-life, but there was a knock on the door, which was immediately opened. The person behind the door said: 'Maintenance, I'm here to clean up your wall'. I shouted back: 'Leave me alone!' and fell asleep into a normal, non-lucid dream almost immediately.

In the dream, I was then telling Maintenance that I was ready for them to come and fix the wall. There was one male - he was white, medium build and had short dark hair. He was wearing a navy uniform - a boiler suit of some kind. He said his name was 'Mark Thompson' and he was here to 'fix the electrics' (despite there being no issue with electrics in my house). I said: 'Don't you mean the wall?' to which he said: 'It's the same thing'. He started to do something to my wall with tools.  The desk (which is in front of the hole in my wall) had been moved without me noticing. I was anxious about being charged for the repair work, so I thought that I should flirt with Mark and try and charm my way out of having to pay (assuming he would speak to Accommodation on my behalf and tell them that the damage was not my fault). I started flirting in an attempt to seduce Mark. I cannot recall what I said, but I was standing very close to him and my plan seemed to be working. 

Scene 2: A Shopping Centre/Mall - Day
I then found myself on a date with Mark. He was now dressed in casual clothes. I was aware that Mark wanted to have sex with me, but was worried because I had not shaved my legs/armpits/bikini line (I like to be completely hairless). I excused myself and went into the public toilets, where I undressed in a cubicle so that I could shave these areas in private, which I did do. I then saw a weird creature on the floor of the toilet cubicle - it was white and slimy and L-shaped, about the size of a mouse. It freaked me out because I had never seen anything like this before (see image below). I was scared and decided to leave the toilets and find Mark. He was standing beside a big advertising banner at the top of an escalator/flight of stairs on the first floor of the shopping mall. When he saw me, he grabbed hold of me and kissed me passionately. I thought this might be the start of a relationship with him. He then picked me up and cradled me in his arms. As he was holding me, I saw more of the white creatures on the floor beneath the advertising banner and pointed them out to Mark. Mark then tried to carry me down the stairs, but lost his balance. He was still carrying me as we fell to the bottom of the stairs - the fall felt very realistic - like a 'hypnagogic jerk' (click link for explanation of this phenomenon). Although I had the sensation of my stomach flipping and nerves, we were both unharmed on impact. I was aware that there were other dream characters - shoppers in the mall - standing around gossiping about us.

Scene 3: My Nan's House, Sheringham - Day
I was then in my nan's house, in the living-room, telling her about Mark. I was planning to go and visit him later that day and was very excited about it. My nan told me (disapproving of my relationship with Mark) that his wife and children lived further up the road from her house. I was looking out of the window when she said this. I was not concerned, as I already knew Mark was married with a child, but wanted to be with me instead. I thought that the idea of him cheating on his wife to be with me was exciting! My nan then said that it was his aunt that lived up the road (i.e. not his wife and child).

I cannot recall the rest of this dream.

TIME: )7:15 - 11:00 hours (I woke up from this dream)
LUCIDITY: Semi-lucid (I had a very brief - several seconds long - false awakening)
SPECIAL NOTES: None of note

Dream Information:

  • I am expecting Maintenance (the people who work for Estates & Buildings at my university) to come to my university accommodation to fix a hole in my wall. When I was asleep, my foot kicked the wall and left a massive hole in the plaster - there was clearly a weak spot in the wall, as the hole is a perfect square shape - similar to a plug socket in size. I reported this to Maintenance and the Accommodation Office emailed me to say I would be charged for repairs as it is not 'reasonable wear and tear'. I dispute this on the basis that damage was accidental (I did it while asleep, so no intent!) and the wall was not 'fit for purpose' if it is so fragile

  • Fixing electrics and fixing walls (plastering) are not the same thing (IA - Inner Awareness)
  • The weird creature does not exist in real-life (F- Form)
  • Mark's wife and child then became his aunt (C - Context)

Recurrent Dream Themes:
  • My nan's house in Sheringham as a dream scene location

Potential Day/Dream Residue:
  • I am currently awaiting for the hole in my wall to be fixed by Maintenance and was thinking about my dispute with Accommodation the day before this dream as the thought of being charged for repairs (when I am blameless) is making me anxious!
  • On 2 August 2015, I was telling my friend SA about hypnagogic jerks - and my childhood experience of dreaming my bed was sliding backwards, head-first down the stairs - I would always awaken with the jump on impact, and the feeling was horrible - like my 'stomach was leaping into my mouth' /stomach flipped (the nervous, uncomfortable feeling when you are about to plunge downwards on a roller-coaster)
  • On 15 August 2015 I was in the city and went to sit on a small bench. As I have a large butt and poor spacial awareness, I managed to miss my mark and fell backwards onto the ground, which was embarrassing, but completely painless, as my fat butt cushioned the impact!
  • I used to casually date a former school friend, named Mark, who lived in the same approximate location as the dream character Mark did in this dream - I was telling my friend JD (who knows the real-life Mark) about this about a week before this dream

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
I enjoyed this dream a lot, other than the fall down the stairs! It felt exciting to seduce the dream character Mark. However, I fell asleep quite soon after I woke up from this dream, and my third dream which occurred during this sleep overshadowed the earlier 2!

* I have forgotten some aspects of this dream as I fell back asleep and had an even better dream shortly after waking from/recalling this one. If I remember anything further, I will record it below.

Dream 476

'Guess Who I Had Sex With?'
Dream date: 17 August 2015 (Dream #1 of this date)

Scene 1: A Dark Bedroom - Time Unknown
I was in a dark bedroom with CM - a male from my hometown, Sheringham, who was in my year in school. I have never - and do not - find CM attractive, but in the dream, he and I were having sex, in the 'doggy style' position on a double bed. I wondered why I never see my sexual partner face-to-face when having sex in a dream (this was a thought in the dream, indicating pre-lucidity - as I was questioning my actions within a dream, even though I did not become fully lucid). I did not have an orgasm from the sexual encounter nor feel sexually aroused during or after the dream.

Scene 2: A Brick Wall, Sheringham High School - Day
I then found myself back in my old high school. I am not sure if I was school-aged or my actual real-life age, but I was standing in front of a brick wall and some girls (CM's female friends, too numerous to list separately) from my high school (looking as they did back when I was at school with them) were sitting/leaning on the wall. I think it was outside, but I am not sure. I also think it might have been sunny. I felt proud that I had sex with CM, as he was quite popular, even though he isn't physically attractive (he has a good sense of humour). I said: 'Guess who I had sex with?' and they were naming males from our year at school. I said: 'It's one of your close friends', but they couldn't guess the right person (CM) and I would not tell them.

TIME: 03:30 - 07:00 hours (I woke up from this dream)
LUCIDITY: Pre-lucid (I had inner awareness that this dream scenario - which I accepted as reality - was similar to previous sexual dreams)
SPECIAL NOTES: None of note

Dream Information:

None of note

  • I would never have sex with CM in real-life (IA -Inner Awareness/C - Context)

Recurrent Dream Themes:
None of note

Potential Day/Dream Residue:
None of note

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
I woke up wondering why CM was the dream character I had sex with in this dream and why I felt proud about it within the dream. However, I soon fell back asleep and into a new dream.

Sunday, 16 August 2015

The Lucid Spectrum - Levels of Lucid Dreaming

When I discuss lucid dreaming with other lucid dreamers, I am often asked 'was this a lucid dream?' Sometimes it isn't entirely clear if the dreamer was in fact lucid or not. This is because lucidity isn't an 'all or nothing' state - lucidity exists on a spectrum, with different levels of conscious awareness. 

Some lucid dreamers refer to 'layers' of lucidity and use percentages of 'lucidity' to delineate the various levels. Others may refer to 'minor' and 'major' sub-categories within each level of lucidity. I feel that this approach overcomplicates the topic and prefer to use 5 basic levels to describe the layers of lucidity which exist on the lucid spectrum. 

The different levels of lucidity which can be experienced in a dream affect many aspects of the dream, such as: 

  • The clarity/intensity of perception within the dream
  • The stability of the dream
  • The clarity of thought within the dream
  • The length of the lucid dream
  • How much control is possible within the lucid dream

Level 0 - The Non-Lucid Dream
This is the default dream state, which I also refer to as a 'normal dream'. 

In a non-lucid dream, the dreamer is completely unaware that they are dreaming and all events within the dream are accepted as reality, even the most irrational or bizarre aspects. 

The dreamer is unable to control aspects of the dream action or their dream thoughts. 

These dreams are the product of the subconscious and tend to be shaped from memories, emotions, wishes, desires and fears. Non-lucid dreams are not based on waking logic, but rather primitive feelings and urges. 

Often strange connections or associations are made within the dream and some aspects may be symbolic or transformed. The non-lucid dream is a reflection of the dreamer's conceptual understanding of reality. 

A beginner lucid dreamer may dream about lucid dreaming, but they do not become lucid.

Level 1: Pre-Lucid
When pre-lucid the dreamer starts to critically question the reality of the dream and become suspicious that they are in fact dreaming. This may be as a result of recognising a dreamsign or noticing that something is so bizarre that this must be a dream although for the most part, the pre-lucid dream is experienced as a Level 0 non-lucid dream. Events and dream characters within the dream are perceived as reality.

However, the dreamer does not become fully conscious that they are dreaming, although lucid dreaming may arise within the pre-lucid dream as a subject of the dream narrative/plot. The dreamer may dream that they are lucid or trying to lucid dream or even perform a reality check without actually achieving the lucid state. At this level of lucidity, reality checks often yield the same results that the dreamer expects in waking reality.

This scenario seems paradoxical and illogical, but this is because the pre-lucid stage is determined entirely by the faulty logic and cause/effects of the dream world over which the dreamer has no control and very limited insight and understanding.

Dreaming of lucid dreaming without becoming lucid often happens to beginner lucid dreamers, whose waking minds are focused on the topic of lucid dreaming (or reality checking), and the desire to become lucid in the dream state, to such an extent that 'lucid dreaming' enters their dream as a form of 'day residue' before they have quite developed the ability to actually achieve lucidity.

When the dreamer questions whether they are dreaming, they probably won't arrive at the correct conclusion. The dreamer may have access to limited waking memories, thoughts and inner awareness which allow him to notice bizarre elements or faulty logic within the pre-lucid dream state, although the dreamer's questioning will fall flat and not amount to anything more than a niggling feeling that something isn't quite right. 

Level 2: Semi-Lucid
This level tends to over-lap slightly with the pre-lucid dream layer, and it may be difficult to distinguish between a pre-lucid dream and a semi-lucid dream.

When semi-lucid, the dreamer may attain lucidity, which is then easily lost - the dream may fade to black as the dreamer wakes up, or the dreamer may just enter a non-lucid dream (Level 0). 

Semi-lucid dreams are characterised by a very basic level of lucidity. It is most often experienced by way of a DILD (Dream Initiated/Induced Lucid Dream).

The semi-lucid dream does not feel quite like reality and it is hard to stabilise. There is low focus and clarity, which is why the dreamer may slip in and out of lucidity/conscious awareness. 

The dreamer still accepts the dream, largely as a form of altered reality and most of their actions are bound by the physical laws and inconsistent nature of dream. 

The dreamer may not have access to all of their waking cognitions or abilities, although at the higher end of this layer, they may be able to use limited waking logic and inner awareness within the dream state to shape their own actions and decisions (i.e. 'If I do X then Y will happen') or question the bizarre events within the dream. The dreamer may 'think' with faulty dream logic and will typically treat almost all aspects of the dream or dream characters as if they are real.

However, there is no conscious control (i.e. no conscious awareness that this is a dream) or full understanding of consequences, as the dream narrative maintains its own bizarre sense of logic and cause and effect which binds the dreamer. 

The dreamer cannot change the fabric of the dream itself, but may be able to explore it at will, although they will be easily distracted, causing them to lapse back into a non-lucid dream state. 

The dreamer may be overpowered by the laws of the dream and their conscious decisions/actions - such as trying to move or say something - may be frustrated or even rendered impossible. This is a limbo state between non-lucidity and full lucidity. 

The dreamer may also experience the effects of sleep paralysis while in the dream state which can be either a hindrance to their movement in the dream or act as a trigger for full lucidity.

This is the layer of lucidity which is often experienced in a false awakening which has not been transformed into a fully-lucid dream.

Events within the dream often have a similar effect on the dreamer as they would in real-life - i.e. physical or emotional responses are similar to those experienced in the waking state.

Level 3: Fully-Lucid
The dreamer has full conscious awareness that they are  dreaming and has access to their waking thoughts and memories. There is no doubt as to whether the dreamer is dreaming - they are certain and are able to test this by a reality check or using their waking logic. The dreamer is aware that everything they experience is the product or projection of their subconscious mind.

The dreamer is able to exert volition over their interaction with the dreamscape and dream characters and has complete control over their own body and mind unless they are experiencing the effects of sleep paralysis (which can sometimes penetrate the dream). However, the dreamer will be aware that their movement is being restricted by sleep paralysis and can use techniques, such as moving their dream body, to break free from it.

However, the dreamer may not always be able to control the fabric of the dream, the laws of the dream or the actions of dream characters. Being fully lucid does not mean having full control. You can be fully lucid and have very low levels of control over what happens in the dream.

Control may be limited to self and the immediate dream environment. If fully lucid and bound by the laws of the dreamscape, the dreamer may have to abide by pre-set 'rules' such as physically travelling from one location to another, or using a door to enter a room. They may not be able to change the physical and sensory aspects of the dream in any way, although they will be fully aware that they are operating within a dreamscape so will not mistake it for reality.

The fully-lucid dream may result from a WILD (Wake Initiated/Induced Lucid Dream) where there is no lapse in waking consciousness as the dreamer seamlessly transitions from wakefulness into the lucid dream state. In these circumstances, the dreamer does not require a trigger for lucidity - they are lucid from the outset.

The dreamer experiences higher levels of clarity and focus.

It is possible to simply observe the lucid dream as a passive witness - i.e. to watch the complexities of the dream unfold without actively participating or controlling the dream. The dreamer is aware they are watching their dream - it is akin to watching a movie.

Level 4: Super-Lucid
In a super-lucid dream, the consciousness of the dreamer surpasses full lucidity and find themselves in the role of 'dream architect' where they can change the fabric and laws of the dream in any way they wish - there are no boundaries to what the dreamer can do within the dream or their level of control. The super-lucid dreamer has absolute control over both themselves and the dreamscape. The only limit is the dreamer's imagination.

The dreamscape can be transformed simply by thought/will-power and the dreamer is able to control other dream characters freely and manipulate them in any way they can conceive. 

This layer of lucid dream is characterised by perfect clarity, focus, stability and control.

The super-lucid dream may result from a WILD dream, where there is no lapse in waking consciousness as the dreamer seamlessly transitions from wakefulness into the lucid dream state.

A dreamer experiencing a super-lucid dream may have a strong sense of enlightenment. 

This is the state which Tibetan Buddhist Dream Yoga practitioners seek to reach. Through meditation in the dream state, the dreamer may be able to dissolve the dream and access their 'higher self' and aspects of their subconscious which are not available in other lucid dream states. Lucidity is uninterrupted and the dreamer is able to surpass the visual/sensory information, conceptual elements and fabric of the dream. This is the purest form of conscious awareness.

Dream 475

'Talking Through Windows'
Dream date: 16 August 2015

Scene 1: Car Park, Thorpe, Norwich - Possibly Day/Dusk
I think I was in a residents' car park in Thorpe, Norwich. I was with PS and I knew I was pregnant. I did not know who the father of the baby was - in that it was not clear in the dream. I was worried that it might be an 'incest baby'. PS was also aware of the fact I was pregnant, even though it was not obvious from looking at me. We were having some kind of argument. PS had a spliff which was almost finished. I grabbed it off him and smoked the last few tokes. This was done while we were both crouching down on concrete. PS started shouting at me, telling me my baby would be born deformed. This was because of me smoking the small amount of cannabis, not as a result of the baby being conceived through incest. 

PS got in his car and I was standing outside, talking to him through the half-open window on the driver's side. I was saying that 2 - 3 tokes on a spliff would not affect the baby - which I did not want anyway. There was further argument and PS drove away.

Scene 2: My Nan's House, Sheringham - Day

I went to my nan's house to tell my family that I was going to have a deformed baby. In the living-room/lounge, my nan was sitting on the sofa with my aunt KC, and another family member (unrecalled). I was about to tell them the news, when I decided it would be better if I stood outside in the front garden and shouted it through the living-room window. I went outside. It was sunny and the flowers were in bloom. I shouted: 'My baby will be deformed' through the window.

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

TIME: 07:00 - 15:00 hours (I am not sure when this dream took place)
SPECIAL NOTES: None of note

Dream Information:

  • I have been to this residents car park in Thorpe, Norwich when visiting an acquaintance, DSA with EB
  • PS is my ex-boyfriend
  • I 'met' JCD on a Lucid Dreaming page and got to know him via personal messaging. He has autism and can be quite demanding due to his limited social circle, which is mainly people online he has never met in person. He blocked me on Facebook after I asked him to stop harassing me and trying to guilt-trip me over not being available to chat. He could not accept that I have a social life outside of Facebook and did not cope well with me reminding him that I need space and cannot be available to him all day every day (see *Recalled Dream Scene, below)

  • None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes:
  • PS as a dream character
  • Cannabis
  • My Nan's house in Sheringham as a dream scene location

Potential Day/Dream Residue:

  • The day of this dream I read a news article about Amy Winehouse (my favourite singer) in which her dad was cited as saying she had thought she might be pregnant at the time of her death. I saw that some online readers had left comments asking why she had drunk alcohol if she thought she was pregnant
  • On 14 August 2015 DL and I watched Precious (2009) in which the main character gives birth to a baby with Downs Syndrome following an incestuous rape by her father
  • About a week before this dream I had read an article about a woman who was born as the result of incestuous rape of her mother by her grandfather (i.e. the mother's father) - in which she listed all of her genetic conditions/illnesses
  • On 1 August 2015 I had seen a pregnant woman smoking a cigarette in the street and told DL that I thought it was disgraceful and negligent that she had not quit smoking for the sake of her baby
  • The day of this dream I was thinking about a woman from the Lucid Dreaming page on Facebook. She had acted erratically and embarrassed herself by disclosing her personal information on the page and then fighting with other members. She had been a friend of JCD, but had ended up blocking him (possibly because he was too clingy). The thoughts of her would have led to me thinking of him, as I was first aware of her and her problems because he had disclosed them to me in private message, just prior to her online outburst (see *Recalled Dream Scene, below)

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
This dream did not leave me with any specific waking thoughts or emotions, although I woke up very confused, thinking it was Monday, when it was in fact Sunday. My head felt very cloudy and befuddled!

* I have forgotten some aspects of this dream. If I recall them later I will record them below.

* Recalled Dream Scene (16 August 2015, 20:08 hours)
At some point in the dream - I am not sure when - I realised that a former Facebook friend, JCD, had tried to re-add me as a friend on Facebook. In the dream, although the 'friend request' was on Facebook, I saw JCD before me, in 3-dimensional physical space - although I am not sure where we were. I cannot recall any conversation. He looked the same as in his Facebook profile. 
Memory Trigger: I was on my Facebook profile when the memory of this dream scene suddenly came to my mind.

Dream 474

'Cat Attack!'
Dream date: 15 August 2015

Scene 1: My Nan's House, Sheringham - Day
I was in my nan's house with various members of my family. I know CJ (aunt), VF (aunt), HM (cousin) and my nan were present. I had an argument with my nan - I cannot recall what it was about. I also had a disagreement with HM, and cannot recall what this was about either. The situation in the house was tense and fraught and no-one was getting on. HM was laying down - on sofa/bed?

At one point I was upstairs and I heard my aunt VF shout to me (from downstairs): 'You need to stop attacking people on Facebook!' I logged onto my Facebook to see what she was referring to, as I could not remember attacking anyone. There was no evidence that I attacked anyone at all, so I thought she must be mistaken.

I then saw myself in third-person, trying on a white skirt. The skirt was far too short and would not go down over my hips and butt, no matter how much I struggled. I then saw myself naked - from a third-person perspective again. I had a very deep suntan and blonde shoulder-length hair. I was standing at a bar. My butt looked massive - like I had implants or fat transfer injections. I thought it looked really good - like a Kim Kardashian butt and felt pleased. 'I' (the 'me' I was looking at from third-person perspective) then turned around and I noticed 'I' was now Tara Reid! I was not pleased at this discovery!

Scene 2: A Bedroom (Student House in York?) - Time Unknown
I was then in a bedroom which slightly resembled the downstairs bedroom I had in the rented student house when I was an undergraduate at the University of York. The room was similar in size and dimensions, although the fitted wardrobes were on the opposite side of the room. I was sitting on the floor beside the wardrobes and there were 2 female dream characters sitting on the bed. I think these dream characters were actually people I know in real-life, but I cannot remember who they were, just that they were well-known to me. We were in a conversation, although I cannot recall what we were discussing. The atmosphere in the room was slightly tense as I think we were in a disagreement about something. I then noticed a white kitten emerge from the wardrobe, and I went to pet it. The kitten ran towards the door of the room, a couple of metres away from me. I put my hand down on the carpet and moved my fingers, trying to get the kitten to chase and pounce on it (as a game). The kitten did pounce on my hand and started attacking it playfully. Suddenly, 3 more cats - all different colours - came from the wardrobe. One of the female dream characters (who owned the 3 cats and the kitten) said: 'They're going to attack!' I ran to the door, trying to escape from the cats, but they were quicker and they attacked me, biting and scratching my legs viscously. The pain felt exactly like being stung by stinging nettles!

Scene 3: Countryside - Day
I was in the countryside, on a path at the top of a very steep hill, looking down at green fields/meadows and trees. It was very picturesque as the sun was shining, the green colours were very vivid and I could see for miles. I was considering quitting my job to return to live at my nans. I then saw my nan was standing behind me. She said: 'I have less aches and pains nowadays'. I assumed this meant that she did not want me to come to live with her, although I am not sure why I drew this conclusion.

I only have a hazy recollection of what else happened in this dream scene, but there was an older female dream character who was friends/acquaintances with my nan and a shop which was either a toy store or a department store which also sold toys. 

TIME: 02:30 - 13:00 hours
SPECIAL NOTES: I drank 6 units of alcohol before this dream

Dream Information:

None of note

  • I saw myself from the third-person perspective - and noted that my appearance changed, as did my location (IA - Inner Awareness/F - Form/C- Context)
  • I turned into Tara Reid! (A - Action/F - Form)

Recurrent Dream Themes:
None of note

Potential Day/Dream Residue:
  • On 9 August 2015 I got involved in a heated debate on Facebook after one of my Facebook friends posted a video which asked whether Hitler had been right in his policy towards Jewish people. My friend had added a caption which asked other people for their views on Hitler in this respect. I has argued that my friend was ignorant in asking this question as no political ideology which leads to genocide based on eugenics (and over 6 million innocent people being murdered on the basis of ethnicity/race) can - or should - be validated. I was completely shocked to see another Facebook user try to justify the asking of the question ('was Hitler right?) and got into a protracted argument with him in which he accused me of attacking the original poster (my friend) for posing a legitimate question
  • About 2 weeks ago I tried on a dress I haven't worn before. I bought it when I was quite a bit slimmer. I was pleased to see it fit me again (I have recently lost a bit of weight), although it was very tight on my hips/butt. The day before this dream I had tried on my former UEA Angels T-shirt from my cheerleading days (2005 - 2006) and was pleased to see this still fit me!
  • Everyday the media publishes multiple stories about the Kardashians and usually includes references to/pictures of their butts!
  • I feel I may have seen a recent news article on Tara Reid, but I cannot remember for sure - I seem to recall an article about Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! (2015) which was released at the end of July 2015. I know I saw some news articles relating to sharks - and my friend, JD texted me about sharks about a week before this dream
  • On 13 August 2015 DL and I saw a white cat. I gestured to the cat to try and make it approach me, but something in the hedge distracted it and it ran and pounced
  • On 9 August 2015, while outside near my house at night, I was stung on my legs by stinging nettles

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
None of note

* I have forgotten some aspects of this dream, but if I recall anything further I will record it below.

Dream 473

'The Smell of Vomit'
Dream date: 13 August 2015

Scene 1: A Canteen/Dining Hall - Time Unknown
I was in a canteen which had rows of long tables filled with dream characters eating. I was sitting at one of the tables closest to the wall and opposite me were HF and SW (ex-colleagues from the law firm I formerly worked at). We were eating and I was worried whether HF and SW judged me for leaving work. My mum came and joined us and I felt relieved as she would back me up if HF and SW said anything negative to me. However, we all seemed to be getting on well and chatting. Suddenly a large group of male dream characters dressed in business suits entered the canteen. They were all very drunk. They were falling into tables and disrupting the dream characters who were eating. I saw that the tables were also piled with lots of dirty plates and cups/glasses and looked a complete mess. The drunk businessmen were knocking the dirty plates to the ground and causing them to smash. My mum said: 'Let's go, it smells of vomit in here!' I was aware one of the males had vomited, but I could not see/smell it myself. I was pleased to leave the chaotic environment.

Scene 2: A Road - Day
I was standing outside, on a pavement alongside a long, straight road. On the other side of the pavement were hedgerows. It looked like a typical suburban residential street. At one end of the road - about 100 yards away was my friend, LMD. N the Dog was by my side and ran towards LMD, excitedly. LMD looked afraid of the dog. I said: 'N is going to help LMD get over his fear of dogs!'

Scene 3: My Nan's House in Sheringham/An Outside Wall - Time Unknown
I was then sitting at the dining table in my nan's house in Sheringham. I was looking at a laptop screen and I was aware that I was waiting for my mum so that we could watch a movie together. The movie was a weird re-make of Alice in Wonderland/Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, although the storyline was completely changed and most of the characters were monsters. I was getting impatient and called out for my mum to hurry up. I then saw her - but without leaving the lounge in my nan's, I was able to see an outside scene, as if there were no walls in the house. In this outside scene - which is not a location I know from real-life). This outside scene was located where the airing cupboard/boiler would be. There was a huge grey wall with a navy door to the right. My mum appeared from 'around the corner' of the wall (I did not see the corner of the wall at first). She said: 'I can't come yet, I'm working!' She was wearing a navy apron. She ran along the wall and walked through the navy door, which was the entrance to her 'workplace'. I felt disappointed that we could not watch the movie together. 

Scene 4: Outside/Near Beach - Day
I was then in an outside location, close to a beach. It was a sunny day. It may have been that this location was in fact Sheringham. There were some wooden benches and I was sitting on one, opposite another, on which NN was seated. She was reclining on the bench and there were other dream characters present. We were all in conversation (I cannot recall what we talked about). Some male dream characters (known to me in the dream, but unrecalled) were present and I felt they were giving NN more attention than me. It seemed as though we were our younger selves

I then had some photographs in my hand and I was looking at them. These photographs had been taken from an old non-digital camera, and it seemed to me that they were several years old. The photographs showed NN and I sitting together on a wooden bench, similar to the ones we were now sitting on. I was wearing blue skinny jeans and a white low-cut camisole top with pink and green birds/flowers on it (which I actually own in real-life). I looked much slimmer than I actually am - my legs were very long and slim rather than short/thick as they are in real-life. While looking at these photographs, I thought: 'I could use these photographs to illustrate this dream scene when I record it on my Blog'. These photographs do not exist in real-life.

TIME: 04:45 - 12:30 hours (I am note sure when this dream took place)
LUCIDITY: PRE-LUCID - In the dream I was aware that I would be recording the dream scene on this Blog, which assumes that I was aware I was dreaming - however, I did not become lucid as I accepted the scene/photographs as being reality at the same time I was thinking about illustrating the dream. This is a strange, paradoxical situation, hence I would describe it as a pre-lucid state. It was definitely not a lucid dream.
SPECIAL NOTES: None of note

Dream Information:

  • I left work due to a prolonged episode of impaired mental health due to my bipolar disorder. I had been suffering from severe anxiety, stress, panic attacks and general anxiety which made working impossible - especially since my boss was unsupportive/discriminatory

  • I could see an outside scene while still in my nan's house (C - Context/F - Form)
  • NN and I were our younger selves - possibly late teenage years (IA - Inner Awareness)

Recurrent Dream Themes:
  • NN as a dream character

Potential Day/Dream Residue:
None of note

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
The weird situation of me referring to the recording of a dream while in the dream, but not becoming fully lucid was interesting!

Dream 472

'Freestyle Battling Eminem'
Dream date: 10 August 2015

Scene 1: Interior of Building - Time Unknown
I was in an interior setting which seemed to be a big room with a black floor and white walls. I was not sure where I was, but my stepdad was present, as were a number of dream characters who were seated in a circle of chairs in the middle of the room. One of these dream characters was AWB and my stepdad was being friendly to her (he was standing up and walking around). This made me slightly angry as AWB and I do not get on, even though we don't know each other and simply have mutual friends. 

I was aware that Eminem was going to be performing a show in a local venue (unspecified in dream) and I was keen to go. I had tickets to get into the show and I wanted to freestyle battle him, but was aware that AWB wanted to do the same. I knew I had more talent in this area than her, so felt confident that I would be able to show off some skills. 

I started to spit some freestyle rap lyrics - I cannot recall what these lyrics were, but I do know that they were all in perfect rhyme and I was growing in self-assurance. 

AWB and the other dream characters seated in the circle were all talking about me, although I could not work out what they were saying, as they were whispering and I was standing a short distance away. I felt annoyed that my stepdad was complicit in this. 

My stepdad came over and told me that I should go to the Eminem concert and try to freestyle battle him as planned. He told me to 'roll a spliff and go and heckle him'. The plan was to offer the spliff to Eminem to catch his attention and then challenge him to the rap battle. I started to roll a spliff. I was then aware that I was standing next to a table which I had not noticed before - it was a refreshments table, with snacks and drinks on it. 

I woke up.

TIME: 05:30 - 11:00 hours (this dream happened just before I woke up)
SPECIAL NOTES: None of note

Dream Information:

  • AWB is a female who I fell out with over a stupid issue with my ex-boyfriend. The whole thing was partly my fault, partly his and - in my perception - made worse by her. I have been in the same social environment as her since the incident, but we ignored each other to maintain the peace. She is trying to make hip hop tracks, but the general consensus amongst some of my friends is that she is not very good, whereas I have some ability but refuse to record or publicise it. One of my friends told me I should challenge her to a rap battle as I have some skill in freestyling and some experience of rap battling. I am not keen to do this as I think it is better to simply ignore her

  • None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes:
  • Hip hop & rap music
  • Eminem
  • Cannabis

Potential Day/Dream Residue:
  • About 3 days before this dream I saw that people on social media were posting a new freestyle video by Eminem which showed him to be 'back on form'. I did not watch/listen to the video, but I did discuss Eminem on the same day with DL

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
None of note, other than I am pleased I freestyle rap in my dreams as I believe it to be good practice. Recently, I have seen an improvement in my waking abilities (I had not practiced for a number of years since I lost interest, but had returned to it as a fun hobby which I do when alone). I wonder if freestyling in my dreams is responsible for my increase in waking abilities? I wish this dream would have continued so that I could meet Eminem and battle him.

Dream 471

'Weird Dream Coincidences'
Dream date: 9 August 2015

Scene 1: The Two Lifeboats Hotel, Sheringham - Time Unknown
I was in the pub which my mum used to manage, standing behind the bar where the coffee machine is. This was known as the 'Duncan Bar' when we worked there (before it was sold/refurbished). I saw some dream characters standing in front of the table/booths in the bay window. I did not know these dream characters and I cannot recall what they looked like or how many there were. I only recall one - a blonde woman who was pregnant. She was in labour and one of the male dream characters in the group told her that she should go upstairs and lay down in one of the hotel rooms, which she did.

Scene 2: An Office - Time Unknown

I was then in an office which reminded me slightly of the IT room in my old high school. There was a small sub-office with glass walls in the main room, which was what made me think of my high school IT room. This sub-office was where IT technician worked from - no students were allowed in.  

There was a bed in the main part of the office, with white linen. I was laying in the bed with a black male, who reminded me of my ex-boyfriend, SL. As soon as I realised this, the dream character seemed to adopt more of SL's facial features, although he had Afro hair, unlike SL. The dream character and I were sucking on each other's fingers, at the same time. We were pleased to be in each other's company and clearly liked each other, but the atmosphere and action of sucking each other's fingers was not sexual.

More dream characters entered the room. These were my friends, although I cannot recall who they were. I got up from the bed to speak to them. I said something about the 'girl upstairs' and was concerned for her well-being. I was also worried that we would get 'caught' for doing something unlawful, although I cannot remember what this was. 

I was also aware that we were not supposed to be in the office at all - this may have been the unlawful activity I was worried about. I said to one of the male dream characters: 'What if they see us here on the CCTV?' He replied: 'The CCTV will get recorded over when it loops back on itself'. I realised that CCTV worked in a loop - as soon as the end of the tape was reached, it would start recording again from the beginning of the tape, wiping the previous footage. This made me feel relieved. There was more conversation with me and the dream characters, but I cannot recall what we talked about.

TIME: 03:00 - 11:00 hours (I do not know when this dream took place)
SPECIAL NOTES: None of note

Dream Information:

None of note

  • There was a bed in the office (C - Context)

Recurrent Dream Themes:
None of note

Potential Day/Dream Residue:
  • See below

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
The day after this dream (later the same day as this dream happened in the morning of 9 August 2015), I was on my Facebook when I saw a Facebook friend, SK (the younger son of my mum's friend and former boss - who used to own the Two Lifeboats Hotel) announce the birth of his older brother's baby. His older brother, BK, had studied computing at university and used to do all the main computer-based work when he worked alongside my mum at the Two Lifeboats. I had been unaware that he had a partner who was expecting a baby. 

I went to look at BK's Facebook to check there were no references to his impending fatherhood which I may have seen without remembering (this was my first thought, as I was trying to find a logical/rational reason for this dream), but there had been no recent status updates on his or SK's Facebook about BK's pregnant partner. I did notice while checking this, that his partner was a blonde woman. Therefore I dreamed of a pregnant blonde woman in labour around the exact time  BK's partner gave birth in real-life. 

It was odd that in my dream the pregnant blonde dream character was in the Two Lifeboats Hotel, as this is the place I most associate with SK and BK, given my mum worked as Landlady for their dad and both boys had jobs there too.

I do not believe in pre-cognitive dreams or any kind of extra-sensory perception. I do not believe in psychic powers. Therefore, this dream must have been a very weird coincidence, but my waking thoughts and emotions were centred around how odd and disconcerting this dream experience was.