Wednesday, 30 November 2016

Dream 733

'Bad Tunnels'
Date: 28 November 2016
Time: 22:30 - 03:10 (I woke up from this dream naturally)
Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Normal recall

This dream is part of my Dream Incubation Experiment - where I ask my subconscious mind: WHAT DOES MY HEART DESIRE? You can read the introductory post (and watch the accompanying Youtube video by clicking HERE - opens in new window)

Scene 1: An Exterior Scene - Day
I am not sure where I was, but it was outside and in bright daylight. The area seemed to be suburban or in the countryside, as I saw a river/canal and some trees. R3A was there - dressed in some strange costume/outfit, which I am unable to recall. He was carrying a clipboard, which enabled me to conclude that he was doing some kind of job. He was walking beside the canal. There were some other male dream characters. I cannot recall this scene in much detail. 

At some point I became aware R3A had a girlfriend called 'Lisa'. I saw her - she had shoulder-length blonde hair and was drinking a plastic cup of lemonade through a straw. She acted as if I were her enemy, although I cannot recall if she said anything to me, or if this was just the general impression I got from her. 

I was talking with R3A. I cannot recall what was said. This element of the dream seemed significant. 

Someone - one of my colleagues at university - had intercalated from their course of study. I found this out by reading it on the internet somehow.

Scene 2: My Flat, Norwich - Time Unknown
I was in the bathroom and had just finished using the toilet. Something was concerning me and I put my hand to my vagina. There was a small amount of blood on my finger. It took me a moment, and then I realised I must be on my period and felt less concerned. I walked through to the kitchen and found some onions in the fridge and wondered how they got there and who they belonged to. I concluded that they must belong to my housemate SC. 

Scene 3: An Exterior - Twilight
It was twilight (not sure if it was dawn or dusk). I was standing at the entrance to a cylindrical-shaped concrete tunnel, speaking to a male dream character who was unseen - standing either beside or behind me. I was instructing this male dream character to crawl through the tunnel. This was a difficult task, because the ceiling of the tunnel was low and was covered in human bones. The floor of the tunnel was covered in rubbish. I was then shocked to see that a dead baby was hung from the ceiling from a rope - in a way which meant that it blocked the passage, even if the male crawled through. I said to him: 'The dead baby is the worst part of it'.

Extra Information: 
'R3A' is a new anonymisation for a frequently recurring dream character, to further preserve confidentiality.

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • None of note

  • The tunnels I saw - and the context in which they appeared

Day Residue: 
  • On the day of this dream I messaged with R3A online
  • On the day of this dream I had been discussing intercalation with my housemate SC
  • I saw some onions in the fridge of my house
  • On the day of this dream I had watched a short Youtube comedy review of the Mortal Kombat (1995) movie, in which there is a scene where Johnny Cage fights Scorpion in a location filled with skulls and bones

Waking Reactions: 
My recall of this dream is quite fragmentary. I remember that there was much more to Scene 1 and also, more detail to the tunnel task in Scene 3. I am not sure how this dream relates to my Dream Incubation Experiment.

Here is my Youtube video where I describe my current Dream Incubation Experiment:

Monday, 28 November 2016

LSD: Dream Emulator

I have recently become aware of a very odd video game called LSD: Dream Emulator. This is a 'surrealist' exploration game which was made for the Sony PlayStation by Asmik Ace Entertainment in October 1998. 

The game is based on the decade-long Dream Journal of Hiroko Nishikawa, an artist at the development company. It is 1 of 3 projects released which were themed around the Dream Journal, the others being a music album, LSD and Remixes and the Dream Journal itself, Lovely Sweet Dream. The game has garnered somewhat of a cult following, due to it's eccentric nature, and has spawned a number of urban legends and Creepypasta horror stories. From 2009 onwards, there have been many popular 'Let's Play' videos on YouTube dedicated to this game. 

Many people have assumed that the game is based on the psychedelic effects of LSD, the drug, but the game has no explicit reference to this connection, and instead uses acronyms such as 'In Life, the Sensuous Dream' and 'In Limbo, the Silent Dream'.

The game is in first-person mode, and the player is able to navigate a series of environments, with normal ability to reverse or turn, look up or run. The environment is a 'dreamworld' and the main objective is to explore. If the player bumps into anything or any object in the environment, they are transported to a new environment, through a process called 'linking'. Bumping into other characters, animals or special objects typically result in transportation to more surreal environments. 

Similar to the real life dream experience, a dream can last up to approximately 10 minutes, after which the player will wake up, If the player falls off a cliff or down a hole, they will wake up immediately. When the player wakes up, the dreamworld fades, returning them to the main menu, which gives an info-graph which records their progress. The chart also displays the players state of mind, with options of 'upper', 'downer', 'static' and 'dynamic'. These options relate to the player's experience of the prior dreamworld environment and its general feel. Previous dreams may influence subsequent dream environments. 

A dreamworld may suddenly change while the player is walking around - for example, eyes may appear in the wall, which stare at the player. Even when the player revisits the same place again, the environment may have changed - for example, the player may encounter new objects.

Various creatures roam around the dreamworlds. These include a celestial flying nymph; a wild prairie horse; a huge man who fills an entire room; a pterodactyl; and faces on legs. 

The player may occasionally encounter 'The Grey Man' (also known as 'The Shadow Man'), a character in a grey trenchcoat and hat, who glides in one direction. It is possible to walk around him, but if you get too close, the screen will flash, and the player will lose the ability to recall the dream in a 'Flashback'. Another character is the 'Abyss Demon', which lures the player to a wonderful sight, which is just out of reach, and then appears from a cliff-face, forcing you to a new dreamworld. In the house dreamworld, there is a huge man between 2 walls, or on the second floor, who headbutts the player, gain transporting them to a new dreamworld.

The gameplay is measured in days. After roughly 15 - 30 days of gameplay, the player will see an option on the main menu entitled 'Flashbacks'. These Flashbacks last 2 - 4 minutes, and allow the player to re-experience previously encountered dream characters, and access previous dreamscapes - like dream memories. Often the only way to see a dreamworld looking exactly the same, twice or more in the game, is by recalling it using 'Flashbacks'. If the player takes the same steps in the Flashback as he did in the original version of that dream, the dream will repeat. There are over 500 patterns of music in the game, some of which appear on an officially released soundtrack. 

The game is incredibly popular due to it's eccentric nature, and has gained cult fame, leading to a huge number of 'Let's Play' videos on Youtube since 2009. The game has also been the subject of a number of Creepypasta horror fiction stories. 

I wanted to review this game for my Blog, but unfortunately, my Playstation emulator wouldn't allow this to happen. I will try and find a console version of the game. I have found some Youtube 'Let's Play' videos which show you some gameplay with commentary, pending me being able to do my own! 

Dream 732

'Falling from Great Heights & Sexy Boys'
Date: 27 November 2016
Time: 22:00 - 03:00 (I woke up from this dream naturally)
Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Strong recall

This dream is part of my Dream Incubation Experiment - where I ask my subconscious mind: WHAT DOES MY HEART DESIRE? You can read the introductory post (and watch the accompanying Youtube video by clicking HERE - opens in new window)

Scene 1: A Family Home, Location Unknown - Day
I was in a family home - it belonged to a son and his mother. My Mum was also present. The son was a young adult, white with blonde hair. He reminded me of ED2. I knew he was younger than me. His mother was a middle-aged blonde woman. 

I really wanted to have sex with the son, who I will refer to as ED2 for ease, as I believe strongly that this was who the dream character was based on. I was trying to get some alone time with him in a messy bedroom which had a double bed and a large wardrobe/cupboard in the corner. However, we kept being interrupted by his male friends (of a similar age to himself) and our respective mothers. This was frustrating and we discussed it. I could see that his penis was erect through the tracksuit bottoms he was wearing (my favourite item of clothing on a male, as I have mentioned before). 

At some point in the dream I realised that the family home was in a former hotel building. I had been standing in the upstairs hallways and seen a number of doors leading off to what would have been hotel room bedrooms. 

I told ED2's mother that I wanted to be alone with her son. She said that he was going off to attend some kind of college and his friends were there to collect him. It seemed like she was 'cockblocking' me - or at least that is how I perceived it. This made me unhappy and I left the house to go for a walk. 

I was aware that it was daytime now. I was standing on a grassy bank, which at first seemed to be safe. I could see that there was a steep drop on one side and some buildings on the other. I tried to stay away from the edge of the grassy bank, but I couldn't help myself - I found myself right on the edge, falling. It was as if I couldn't stop myself rushing headfirst into the danger I was keen to avoid. Something compelled me to go towards the edge, which was out of my control and against all of my judgment. I cannot explain how this happened, but as soon as I saw the edge, and the huge drop to the ground below, falling felt inevitable.

I fell a huge distance - maybe 100 meters or more - the height of a tall building at least, if not more. The fall seemed to last for a long time and I was able to think about how horrible the feeling was and be worried about the impact. I landed on some sand. There were concrete pillars, which I had managed to avoid falling into around me (I have tried to find some images to illustrate this, as it was so vivid and clear to me in the dream and I recall looking around my environment while I was laying on the ground). I guess I would describe the area as 'underneath a viaduct' - even though I did not see the top part when I fell. 

I felt no pain on the impact - in fact it felt quite soft. The environment reminded me of my university campus. At the edge of the sandy area where the pillars were, there were grassy fields and a row of terraced houses. The first thing I did - in surprise at the soft landing - was remain laying on my back, trying to move all of my limbs. I was able to move all of them, with no pain, and therefore thought that I was lucky to escape injury. I got to my feet. I realised that there were spectators watching me - in shock/horror - from all of the windows of the surrounding terraced houses. I waved at them to reassure them that I was absolutely fine. I felt strong and indestructible and was amazed at my lack of pain or harm caused.

I then touched the back of my right arm - just above the elbow. I couldn't see what was there, but I felt something stuck to my arm, which I assumed was some plastic. It didn't hurt, so I tried to pull this hard thing off my skin, but could not. I was confused. My Mum approached me, looking very worried. I asked her: 'Is this my arm bone?' referring to the hard thing stuck to my skin. My Mum said that it was - my bone was sticking through my arm. She said - trying to stay calm - 'I'll phone for an emergency ambulance'. I did not want an ambulance. I said: 'All ambulances are emergency ones'. I thought the arm injury was an inconvenience. 

I found myself back in the family home from before. I no longer had the arm injury - or at least there was no indication of it. I was back, hoping to have sex with ED2. At one point we were in the bedroom, about to have sex (we were kissing and engaging in foreplay, while dressed) - when about 3 - 4 of his male friends burst out of the wardrobe in the room, where they had been hiding. I felt really annoyed and frustrated by this. We stopped and ED2 went into a different room with his friends, telling me he would be back shortly.

I cannot recall what else happened in this scene, but I think I have forgotten some of the details. 

There were some dream fragments, which I cannot quite recall. They involved snakes - in a fearful way; and me checking an ATM and seeing that I had £200+ in my bank account, which surprised me as I expected far less.

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • My Mum as a dream character
  • Wild animals

  • The fall would have probably killed me or caused me to become paralysed

Day Residue: 
  • On the day of this dream I had been discussing sex with a couple of my male friends
  • On the day of this dream I had mentioned (in a Youtube video about Dreams 726 - 731- click HERE for link to this video which will open in a new window) about my fear of heights and falling which is something from my waking life which transfers to my dreams
  • The day before this dream I had seen a random guy on my Facebook friends list who had his arm amputated - or lost - from what I assume was an accident
  • I was getting paid at midnight, when my scholarship goes into my bank account

Waking Reactions: 
This was a very frustrating dream, which 'blue-balled' me (or whatever the female equivalent of this is). I was so keen to just have sex with ED2, and this could not happen. The most interesting part of this dream - and the scariest/worst part - was the fall I experienced. I would describe this as a 'nightmare' even though I felt no pain on impact or discovering the injury to my arm. In fact I would go so far as to say I felt strong and indestructible, which was a positive feeling in a negative situation. Maybe it is an indication that I can pick myself up from a fall? Maybe it is my subconscious telling me that I should confront my fears and the reality is not as bad as it seems? Clearly there was a lot of influence from Day Residue in this dream.

Here is my Youtube video where I describe my current Dream Incubation Experiment:

Sunday, 27 November 2016


Dream 731

'Wrecklys School, Chucky & Pixiwoo'
Date: 27 November 2016
Time: 07:00 - 11:00 (I woke up from this dream due to someone calling me from the Facebook video call function)
Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Strong recall

This dream is part of my Dream Incubation Experiment - where I ask my subconscious mind: WHAT DOES MY HEART DESIRE? You can read the introductory post (and watch the accompanying Youtube video by clicking HERE - opens in new window)

Scene 1: My Nan's House, Sheringham - Time Unknown
I was in my Nan's house in Sheringham. I was aware that someone - a male dream character who I cannot recall specifically seeing in the dream, but knew was present in the house - had brought a Chucky doll. This made me feel really angry and quite scared. I was sitting on my bed in my bedroom, thinking about what I should do. I then found myself standing in front of a large shelving unit - which looked like it had pigeonholes - in the same way as my university faculty has staff/student pigeonholes for internal mail. I was then aware that the male dream character had crushed the Chucky doll, killing it, and then stuffed it back into it's cardboard box and squeezed it into one of the pigeonholes (this would have been impossible - the Chucky doll was the size shown in the Child's Play movies, so the box was slightly bigger, and came up to my hip at least. The pigeonholes were smaller than the size of a piece of A4 paper. I felt relieved that Chucky was dead, however. 

Scene 2: A Domestic Interior - Night
I was then in a domestic interior at night - this was like a bedsit. On one side was a bed, pushed up against the wall. and on the opposite side of the room was a breakfast bar/work surface, with a brightly lit kitchen behind it. The door to the room was a set of French windows. I was in the room by myself when I was joined by Nic Haste of Pixiwoo. She came in through the French Windows, wearing a white knitted outfit, which seemed to be a very low cut mini-dress with a hood. She was exposing a lot of cleavage and I thought she looked amazing. She said: 'My husband bought me this dress'. I responded with: 'I wish I had a husband who would buy me a dress like that!' Nic sat down on a bar stool which was next to the breakfast bar area. I could see a row of brightly-lit bottles (as if they were back-lit) behind her - which made the kitchen area resemble a cocktail bar. 

Nic then came over to me and handed me a set of Real Techniques makeup brushes, which I promptly dropped. They fell behind the bed, which meant I had to pull the bed out from the wall  to find them. Nic said: 'Be careful not to break them!'. On the floor under the bed were a lot of different objects, including a number of makeup brushes. I picked a handful up off the floor, and contained therein was a Real Techniques brush - broken. Nic took it off me and started to fix it. 

Scene 3: A Public Toilet - Time Unknown
I was then in a toilet stall in a public toilet, standing. The door flung open and there was a group of young adults on the other side. One of these dream characters was a young black man - who was being dragged into the toilet stall (the one I was in) by a witchy-looking white woman with grey hair and glasses. She was tall and skinny. She was shouting racist abuse at the black man and the other dream characters - who I perceived to be students (I was aware that I was in a school now), were trying to get her to let go of him. There was a lot of chaos and shouting. I wanted to defend the male from the racist woman (who was a teacher at the school). I grabbed him away from her and told her to 'fuck off'. 

Scene 4: A Classroom, Location Unknown - Day
I was then in a classroom full of dream character students - all boys. It was an all-male school, I was not there as either a teacher or student. I was there to assess whether the school was being properly sponsored. Nic Haste had been the school's official sponsor, but had to leave the position. I then realised that a friend - NB was now the new sponsor. I heard her speaking about her time studying at the school and thought to myself: 'why was she at an all-boys school and anyway, I thought she attended School X in Norfolk?' (therefore questioning the content of the dream). 

I saw that the school was called 'Wrecklys School' and it had a bad reputation. There was a lot of violence and crime there and the financial situation was bad - hence the need for sponsorship. In the classroom, I could see a chalkboard on which 'Notices' was written, as well as other words which I cannot recall. I felt uneasy in the classroom - this was a bad place. Looking through the large windows, I could see a number of trees lining a suburban street outside. 

I think there was more to this dream, which I have forgotten due to the way in which I was awoken from it. If I recall anything further, I will record it below. 

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • Sheringham as a dream scene location
  • Classroom, school, learning institutions
  • Marriage

  • The Chucky doll incident
  • The scene with Nic Haste
  • I was aware that NB had attended a different school

Day Residue: 
  • On the day of this dream - at the point at which I fell asleep - I had been watching Pixiwoo makeup videos on Youtube - and also videos uploaded on the Real Techniques channel (Sam Chapman and Nic Haste of Pixiwoo design the Real Techniques makeup brushes). Note that Nic has made a Halloween tutorial video in which she creates a Chucky doll look with makeup and a ginger wig - and just before I went to sleep I watched her do a more recent Halloween look where she transformed herself into a porcelain doll
  • A couple of days ago I had been looking under furniture for a pink pen which I wanted to use to edit my thesis chapter
  • A couple of days ago, I noticed I had broken one of my makeup brushes (one which I rarely use anyway)

Waking Reactions: 
This dream was fascinating! It was so long and complex - and felt so vivid to me while I was dreaming it. It was a shame I was awoken prematurely from this dream, as I wanted to explore the Wrecklys School location more. I know I have forgotten some elements of Scene 4, but hopefully I may recall some more detail later - I did have a slightly better memory of what happened immediately upon waking. It is interesting to note that marriage is a theme which keeps recurring during this Dream Incubation Experiment; however, it may be the result of Day Residue, as I noted on my last entries. 

Here is my Youtube video where I describe my current Dream Incubation Experiment:

Dream 730

'Blue Eyeliner'
Date: 25 November 2016
Time: 02:00 - 07:30 (I woke up from this dream due to needing to vomit)
Type of dream: Normal dream - Pre-Lucid?
Dream recall: Normal recall

This dream is part of my Dream Incubation Experiment - where I ask my subconscious mind: WHAT DOES MY HEART DESIRE? You can read the introductory post (and watch the accompanying Youtube video by clicking HERE - opens in new window)

Scene 1: An Exterior Scene - Day
I was in an outside environment - I am not sure where specifically. I could not really see much of my surroundings. I was with CG and we were looking at a huge screen - the size of a billboard. I was using my finger to scroll down the screen (the way you would when using a mobile phone). The screen showed pictures of children who were up for adoption. I was choosing a child to adopt. I said to CG that I wasn't really sure I wanted to adopt a child anyway, and none of the ones on the screen were suitable. 

I then saw a piano - in the middle of a jungle area. I am not sure if I moved to this area, or it was nearby to the location where CG and I were looking at the screen.

Scene 2: My Nan's House, Sheringham - Time Unknown
I saw myself in third-person perspective. I noticed that my eyebrows were much much thinner than usual (I no longer pluck my eyebrows and leave them natural). This annoyed me, as I have been growing them back for a number of years. I was then back in first-person perspective, sitting on the sofa (the side closest to the kitchen door). I saw that my blue eyeliner pen was on a sofa beside me, about to roll down into the gap between the sofa cushion and the arm rest. I retrieved it and had a conversation with someone (unrecalled) in the room about the blue eyeliner. 

I remember thinking: 'This is the second scene' which seems to indicate pre-lucidity. I was not lucid (i.e. not consciously aware that I was dreaming), but the fact I specifically thought that this was the second scene of a dream indicated that I was picking up hints that I was asleep and dreaming.

I cannot recall anything else about this dream, but I know it was longer and more detailed. I think waking up to vomit, and then spending the entire day hungover, meant I lost a lot of my dream memory. If I recall anything else, I will record it below, at the bottom of this post.

Extra Information: 
The night of this dream I had been drinking white wine (1 bottle, 12% alcohol), in celebration of my housemate's birthday. I was intoxicated, but not excessively so. However, I had to get up a number of times during the night to vomit - much more than I have ever needed to after drinking the same amount. It may be due to the fact that I had only eaten fresh fruit and some crisps before drinking, so there was nothing to absorb the alcohol. I also drink very rarely nowadays, so perhaps my tolerance is very low. I believe that the alcohol may have resulted in REM Rebound Effect (click on the red text and link will open in a new window).

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • Family life
  • Sheringham as a dream scene location

  • I was considering adoption - and the method of adopting a child by selecting them from a screen
  • I saw myself in third-person perspective

Day Residue: 
  • On the day of this dream I had been discussing dreams with CG (on Facebook) and specifically, a dream where he appeared as a dream character
  • On the day of this dream I had filled in my eyebrows with some eyebrow powder. I had also specifically noticed the shape of my friend DB's eyebrows, thinking how well-groomed they were. Her brows are a lot thinner and shaped than my own, which I leave to grow naturally

Waking Reactions: 
This was frustrating, as I lost a lot of my dream due to the vomiting/hangover. This was - as I recalled when I first woke up - a long and complex dream. I may recall more scenes/content from it at a later stage, as I sometimes do. It was also interesting as there were some elements of pre-lucidity - which may have been the result of REM Rebound Effect (from alcohol consumption). Again, this dream featured significant Day Residue. I am not sure if it related specifically to my Dream Incubation Experiment as such, but it was interesting to note that adoption was a theme - and I was hesitant to go ahead and choose a child for adoption. 

Here is my Youtube video where I describe my current Dream Incubation Experiment:

Thursday, 24 November 2016

Dream 729

'Excessive Pubic Hair'
Date: 23 November 2016
Time: 08:45 - 14:00 (I woke up from this dream due to an alarm)
Type of dream: Normal dream
Dream recall: Normal recall

This dream is part of my Dream Incubation Experiment - where I ask my subconscious mind: WHAT DOES MY HEART DESIRE? You can read the introductory post (and watch the accompanying Youtube video by clicking HERE - opens in new window)

Scene 1: A Domestic Interior - Time Unknown
I was in a domestic interior, which was not my home in the dream, nor a place I know from real life. It was a large house, with normal furniture, such as sofas and coffee tables (I only recall seeing the lounge area). I was holding an iPad - or some other kind of tablet device. 

I was doing some kind of assignment, using the tablet. I had to walk around, using the tablet as a 'viewfinder' - so it was as if the camera on the back was operational, and I was using it to view my surroundings on the screen - moving the tablet around to see other items in the room instead of just looking with my own eyes. 

At one point, I was pointing the tablet camera at a white/cream sofa and a pair of twisted brown hands burst through the screen, towards me - as if they were trying to reach out for me and pull me through the screen, causing me to drop the tablet and jump back. This was shocking and surprising in the dream. 

I then saw my former boss - IF - the reason I left my much-loved job in a Law Firm a number of years ago. IF looked even older than he had when I last saw him - he was more wrinkled and all of his hair was a light grey colour now. I still felt uneasy with him and blamed him for what had happened in real life, however, I wanted to return to work for him in the Law Firm. I was therefore being 'nice' to him, but this was tainted by bitterness and sarcasm and I was relishing in the fact that I detected him as now being weaker than me (although I cannot say how he was weaker). IF and I agreed I would work for him again, but as soon as this had been decided, I started to berate him and tell him how unprofessional he had been; how he was lucky that I had not taken things further (to a lawyer regulatory body or an employment tribunal) etc. I felt good about vocalising these issues at long last.

I then saw my own vagina - from a third-person perspective. I was shocked to see that although the top part was shaved, in the area which connects the vagina to the butt hole (the perineum area) there was masses of straight, black pubic hair, several inches long and very bushy. I then realised that 2 male doctors were examining this area, holding it (and my legs) open so that 'I' (the 'me' who was watching) could see clearly. I thought that this pubic hair should be shaved off and wondered how I had missed this, while doing the rest.

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • Performing a task/assignment

  • The hands burst through the screen of the tablet
  • I returned to work for my former boss
  • I saw myself in third-person perspective

Day Residue: 
  • On the day of this dream I had been telling someone (I cannot recall who) about my time working in a Criminal Defence Law Firm and how much I enjoyed it. I had also recently discovered that AWB - someone who is not a friend, more of a 'foe' (no better way to describe this) had become disabled and was forced to leave her career which she had trained for. This struck a chord with me, because mental health had caused me to quit my own job and I understand what this feels like, even though AWB's situation was much more serious and permanent than my own, from which I have successfully moved on
  • On the day of this dream I had mentioned how having Middle Eastern heritage makes it necessary for me to shave daily - or at the minimum - bi-daily
  • On the day of this dream I saw an online debate in the comment section of a magazine/news post on Facebook - women were arguing over the use of the terms vagina/vulva. Many women were objecting to the use of the word 'vagina' to mean the visible genitals, stating that the vagina is the internal part and what is meant is 'vulva'. I am someone who thinks it is perfectly acceptable to refer to all of my genital area as 'vagina' - everyone knows what it meant by that, and anyone who takes issue with it, while medically/scientifically correct, are being pedantic. I will never refer to my genitals as a 'vulva' - I hate the word

Waking Reactions: 
I have had many dreams where I have returned to my old job within the Law Firm. I can honestly say that if I was offered this opportunity again - despite the terrible situation regarding my former boss, which caused me a lot of stress and trauma (quitting my job meant becoming homeless and led to worsening mental health problems etc) - I am now in a much stronger position and would go back, although knowing that I would not allow myself to be oppressed or undermined to the same extent again (as I have matured and gained in self-assurance since). I wonder if this dream theme was the result of Day Residue (specifically, learning of AWB's experience and comparing it to my own) or because it is a genuine expression of what my heart desires, from my subconscious?

Here is my Youtube video where I describe my current Dream Incubation Experiment:

Tuesday, 22 November 2016

Dream 728

'Double-Barrelled Marriage Names'
Date: 21 November 2016
Time: 07:30 - 13:00 (I woke up from this dream naturally)
Type of dream: Normal dream
Dream recall: Very weak recall

This dream is part of my Dream Incubation Experiment - where I ask my subconscious mind: WHAT DOES MY HEART DESIRE? You can read the introductory post (and watch the accompanying Youtube video by clicking HERE - opens in new window)

Scene 1: Unknown - Time Unknown
I have forgotten this dream as I fell back asleep after waking from it.

I was planning to marry my ex-boyfriend, PS. I was considering what last name we would have after the marriage - my name/his name. 

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • PS as a dream character

  • I was getting married to my ex-boyfriend

Day Residue: 
  • The day of this dream I had mentioned PS in conversation - I had received an anonymous birthday card and bunch of flowers last month - put through the door of my former address. My colleague who now lives at that address had brought them over and I had been confused as to who had delivered them as hardly anyone knew where I used to live (but PS did) - my colleague had seen a dark Volkswagen car drive off - this is the description of PS' car. On the day of this dream I had found clues as to why PS may have randomly been in my local area from a mutual friend's Facebook comment (I believe that this friend's brother - a close friend of PS also - may be serving a sentence in the local prison, hence why PS and members of this friend's family may be visiting my city). I thought I had done some very impressive (if accidental) detective work!
  • On the day of this dream I saw that a Facebook friend, who had recently been married, had a double-barrelled last name now and thought that this was good - I like the equality of both parties adopting both names, rather than the woman taking her husband's last name as is traditional in the UK. As I already have a long double-barrelled name of my own, I had wondered how I would be able to achieve this myself
  • On the day of this dream I had been playing The Sims 3 and was able to see that the NPC Sim that my Sim was flirting with was married - as I have set the game so that married couples have a double-barrelled last name so I can keep track of how families are blended

Waking Reactions: 
Again, another dream where marriage is a theme! I am not sure if this is relevant to my Dream Incubation Experiment (i.e. a subconscious desire to get married), as I am not actually someone who believes in the sanctity or necessity of marriage in a committed relationship and have never ever wanted to marry. I am also not aware that I would want to have a relationship with my ex. It may be that the recurrent theme of marriage was inspired by Day Residue - as noted above; and due to my dream from the previous day. 

Here is my Youtube video where I describe my current Dream Incubation Experiment:

Monday, 21 November 2016

Dream 727

'Why Did You Bring a Lion?'
Date: 20 November 2016
Time: 08:00 - 15:00 (I woke up from this dream due to a phone call)
Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Strong recall

This dream is part of my Dream Incubation Experiment - where I ask my subconscious mind: WHAT DOES MY HEART DESIRE? You can read the introductory post (and watch the accompanying Youtube video by clicking HERE - opens in new window)

Scene 1: An Open Structure - Day
I was standing in an open structure - it was like a building, but without proper walls and no ceiling - as if it was half-built. There were many dream characters in this area and I was with a male dream character who was my friend in the dream. 

Another male dream character was present - he was an older, white man and my friend and I did not like or trust him. He was supposed to bring a cat to the area, but instead, he had brought a lion, which he was unable to control. It was roaming loose around the area, and this made me panic. I shouted at the man: 'Why did you bring a lion?' I feared the lion would attack me, and it did try to scratch me, but the harm was minor and I was surprised. The lion mauled the dream character male who had brought it. We saw him lying on what looked like a hospital bed, with a white sheet over his body, still in the same location. At this point, I could not see the lion, or the specific injuries the male had suffered. My friend and I were still questioning why he had brought the lion instead of a domestic cat. 

Scene 2: A Domestic Interior - Time Unknown
I was then sitting on a sofa in a domestic interior, which looked like a house I used to live in, by the seafront, in my home town (when I was very young). There was an adult male dream character laying on the sofa beside me, covered by a blanket, so I could not see his face. He extended his bare foot  - which was huge - out from under the blanket. His legs were very hairy. He started to try and touch me with his foot, which disgusted me, so I told him to stop. Someone else entered the room - I think it was a family member. They also told him to stop. 

Scene 3: Sheringham - Day
I was trying to decide what I wanted to do with my life once I finish the current stage of education I am undertaking. My Mum said she would pay £1000 tuition fees for me to study a course at a new local university which had opened in Sheringham. It was very small and I was worried that it was not a good one. The enrolment meant that I would have to begin my new course while still finishing the one I was on (which was the one I am doing in real life). I went to look around the school - it looked like a primary school rather than a university, and was located at the end of the town near the sea, in a little space between 2 of the pubs which I believe is an art gallery (located on Lifeboat Plain - see Google Maps image).

It was an open day when I arrived, and the sun was shining outside. I knew the location in the dream, because I could see the view which would be visible from the window of the building shown on the Google Maps image. There were a number of new students present - AP and LB were 2 of the people I recognised, but I was aware that most of the new students were people I had attended high school with (AP was in my year at school and LB was 2 years below me). I was getting bad feelings about the university. I felt that the quality of education would not be good enough and I would be taking a step backwards. I told my Mum that she should try to get a refund for the £1000 fees she had paid, and she said that she would.

I was then walking down a corridor with my Mum's friend, CC, who was telling me that there was another university, which would be better for my needs. She was telling me of all the advantages of it and how it was high in the league tables for results. I thought this sounded good, so I decided that I would go there instead. Once my mind was made up, it felt like this was a fixed decision.

CC then showed me a photograph of the new university. It was made of wicker and wood and was suspended high in the treetops - with only a rope bridge as a means of accessing it. I am scared of heights and it looked very dangerous. I instantly knew that I could not study there, and I believed that CC had tricked me by convincing me that it was a good idea before showing me the photograph. I was annoyed at her and wondered if I was able to change my mind and attend the new Sheringham University instead. I was either intending to - or actually did - contact my Mum to tell her not to get a refund of the fees, because I did want to go there after all.

Scene 4: PF's House (in the dream) - Night
I was then with a male dream character - I am not sure who it was, but he was known to me in the dream and was more of an acquaintance than a friend. I did not see him - he was standing next to me in this scene. We were watching a scene take place in front of us - I am not sure if we were watching it in person, or on a screen. The male dream character was responsible for us being able to spy on the scene and I knew that what we were watching was private and we were not authorised to watch. The scene involved the life of PF - a girl I lived with at university. We watched (in fast forward, although it did not seem sped up) her get married; have sex with her husband (while wearing a pink cropped top and miniskirt - the sex took place in the open front doorway of their house); be pregnant and have her first child and celebrate Christmas with her husband and baby son. I told the male dream character who I was with that we should not be watching these private events, but he said that he was obsessed with her and had to constantly watch her life. 

I was then either talking to PF - or witnessing her talk to someone else from a close distance. She was saying that 'Jack' (the name of the male dream character who had made me spy on her with him?) was obsessed with her because of her 'exotic name' (it is true, PF does have an exotic name, and one I have never heard of before or since meeting her). She was looking at a printed piece of paper which was the results of genetic genealogy (where DNA is tested to see genetic/ethnic ancestry). Next to each 'ethnicity' listed was a percentage. On PF's results, the highest percentage was for 'Jewish' which I found surprising, because ethnically, she is of Iranian heritage, like myself. I wondered why her results showed her to be Jewish. There was also a mix of other ethnicities found in her DNA, such as Caucasian (i.e. European); African etc. 

I cannot recall what else happened in this dream. 

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • My Mum as a dream character
  • A classroom; school; learning institution as a dream scene location or theme

  • The dream character and his lion
  • A university opening in Sheringham
  • Spying on PF and seeing her life in fast-forward

Day Residue: 
  • A couple of days before this dream I had been wondering if I could apply for a second PhD and in my recent Youtube video (posted below) I mentioned that I wanted to continue in education/academia, but was unsure where I might continue with this career path, considering I love my current institution, which is local to my family, but I do have the option of applying elsewhere
  • I had been chatting casually with LB a few weeks before this dream - I had not had any contact with him before that, even though he is on my Facebook friends list
  • In my recent Youtube video I mentioned that I am not a risk-taker and I avoid unnecessary danger

Waking Reactions: 
This was a really interesting dream, as like the one from yesterday, it was very vivid and complex. This is encouraging as it demonstrates the possibility that my new Dream Incubation Experiment may be having a positive effect on my dreaming. There does seem to be some material which is capable of being interpreted as relevant to my question of what does my heart desire? Is it that I want to continue with my education? This seems likely, as on a conscious level, this is something I think I want from life - or at least it is the preferred option at present. However, this theme appearing in my dream may be down to the operation of Day Residue as much as my dream incubation question, as I had been discussing these options the day of this dream. I wonder if Scene 4 is an indication that I am subconsciously envious of PF's life?Although she is not on my Facebook friends list, and actually, until today (after starting to write up this dream report) I had not seen her profile for over a year, I was aware that she was happily married and had a child. Even at university, she seemed to have a perfect life. I am not sure why my subconscious picked her, given I know many women (and men) who have equally 'perfect' family lives from the 'outside looking in' - however, it may be due to our shared ethnicity that my subconscious chose her, as although I do know other women of Iranian heritage, she is the only one I know who was an undergraduate at the same university as me; lived with me; and has got a glamorous life and young family. Therefore, perhaps she was an 'easy' comparison for my subconscious to make with my life?

I would also note that I woke from this dream and a short while after waking felt - for the first time in ages - a darkening sense of depression fall over me. I felt quite in despair, and could not point to what was troubling me. I felt alone and tearful, although being the tough, unemotional person I can be, I held back the crying and decided to distract myself, which I was ultimately successful at. I wonder if my depressed mood was related to this dream (some form of Dream Residue?)

Here is my Youtube video where I describe my current Dream Incubation Experiment:

Sunday, 20 November 2016

Dream 726

'Carnival Day'
Date: 19 November 2016
Time: 08:30 - 12:45 (I woke up from this dream naturally)
Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Strong recall

This dream is part of my Dream Incubation Experiment - where I ask my subconscious mind: WHAT DOES MY HEART DESIRE? You can read the introductory post (and watch the accompanying Youtube video by clicking HERE - opens in new window)

Scene 1: An Interior (Family Home), Sheringham - Day
It was Carnival Day in my home town (this happens in August) and I was excited about this. I was in a family house, which I either I lived in with my parents, or was visiting. It is not a house which exists in real life. The living-room area was really big and there was a shelving unit which protruded into the main part of the room. There was also a bed in this room - against a partition wall, which separated the room into 2 sections. The bathroom of this house looked like public toilets - there was a row of sinks with mirrors above them. There were some dogs (not sure how many - perhaps 3, all medium-size and brown) in the house and they had shit on the floor, making one of the rooms very messy and unclean. 

The first part of the dream took place in the living-room. I was sitting on a sofa and my Mum was sitting on another, which was adjacent. I was wearing grey tracksuit bottoms which had ridges down the sides. I was using a series of brightly coloured Sharpie pens to colour in these ridges, in rainbow colours. I only managed to complete the right leg and the waist band. My Mum told me that I had done a good job and they looked very nice. 

I then went into the bathroom and stood at one of the sinks, doing my hair in the mirror. My hair looked pretty much normal, other than the roots were a weird light brown colour - almost the same colour as my skin. I was worried at first, thinking I was going bald, but then I checked and saw that this was hair, not skin. I started to style my hair so that the light brown roots were not visible. I was putting it into a bun on top of my head and using a pink flowery scrunchy and a pearl hair decoration (which I actually own) to tie my hair up, but I kept rearranging it, as I was not happy with the style. Eventually I decided to braid my hair. 

I then saw an image of an older woman with very long, thin braids (2 of them) - I was standing behind her, so I did not see her face. I am not sure how I knew she was 'older'. 

I went back into the living-room area. There were 2 young female dream characters - both were aged 17 years old. They were drinking alcohol from plastic cups.

MKDC was present (this is a male who I knew from university, who used to fancy me, despite us being close friends. He used to have a severe addiction to Class A drugs). In the dream I really fancied MKDC and wanted to be involved with him. I was pleased that he was present.

My Mum, now dressed in a pink towelling robe, was still present. She had a 'drugs shopping list' and I was aware that she was a drug dealer. MKDC was laying on the bed in this room, My Mum kneeled on the bed, offered him drugs, and then opened the robe to show him her naked body underneath. I found this weird and inappropriate.

I had a conversation with MKDC about the Carnival and how happy I was that he was with me. I was trying to seduce him and it seemed to be working. 

Scene 2: A Police Station - Day
MKDC and I were then in a police station. I could see a shelf with lots of brown boxes on it. I was not concerned that we were at the police station, even though I was under arrest and not sure what crime I had allegedly committed. I was either thinking that the charges would not stick or that the penalty would be minor and not worth worrying about. I cannot recall how this scene ended or shifted to the next one

Scene 3: A Busy City Intersection - Day
I was then standing at a pedestrian crossing at a busy intersection in a city. The sun was shining. Next to me on the pavement/sidewalk was an older, disabled woman (dream character) in either a wheelchair, or on a mobility scooter. She had frizzy ginger hair and was quite fat with a pale complexion. She was accompanied by another woman - I cannot recall what she looked like. I thought the traffic lights had changed, so I stepped out into the road, and nearly got hit by oncoming traffic - the traffic was very busy and fast-moving. By way of an explanation (although in reality, this would not explain why I had misread the traffic lights), I told the disabled woman: 'I have dyscalculia'. She said to me: 'No you don't!' in an aggressive way. scowling at me. The traffic lights then changed, and she zoomed off, crossing the road. Still standing on the pavement, and angry at the way she had denied the dyscalculia, I shouted: 'You aren't even disabled, it's benefit fraud!' I saw her turn round and look at me in shock/horror.

Scene 4: An Interior (Family Home) - Day
I found myself back in the family home again. MKDC was waiting for me and I was pleased to see him and wanted to resume my 'seduction of him'. He was laying down - on the floor I think - and I tried to get physically closer to him, laying down beside him. Then, a thin, blonde woman, drinking from a plastic cup with a straw in it approached us. She said: 'I'm MKDC's girlfriend, Charlie' and then straddled/mounted him. I moved away, disappointed, but still with hope that he liked me anyway. 

Scene 5: A Grassy Field - Day
I was then in a large grassy field, which had bushes on either side. It was bright daylight, but it had just been raining. I was aware - I am not sure how - that there was a huge killer spider on the loose and everyone was warned that it was dangerous. I approached one of the bushes and saw a (large, but in a 'normal' size range) spiderweb, with a fly stuck in it. I then saw that the web was being spun still - although there was no spider on it - it was a self-spinning web! Raindrops were suspended on the spiderweb. I noticed that 2 male police officers were present with me. I told them that this was the killer spider's web (despite wondering how a giant spider could live there) and poked my finger into it, creating a hole and totally destroying it.

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • My Mum as a dream character

  • The family home in the dream was not one I recognise from real life and the bathroom was like a public toilet
  • My hair was very different
  • My Mum was a drug dealer
  • I was romantically/sexually interested in MKDC
  • My Mum was stripping for MKDC

Day Residue: 
  • The day of this dream I had a conversation with a Facebook friend about how much I love grey tracksuit bottoms on men - it is my favourite item of clothing
  • I have the full set of coloured Sharpie pens
  • The day of this dream I was messaged on Facebook by a male who told me he was 17 years of age.  I told him he was too young for me to have a conversation with and immediately ended it. He then sent me a message about how he wanted to be my boyfriend, so I deleted him
  • The day of this dream I had been thinking about hairdressers and dyeing my hair
  • A couple of days before this dream I had been tidying my hair accessories drawer and had seen the two hair decorations which appeared in this dream
  • On the day of this dream I had been discussing the police
  • On the day of this dream I had mentioned that I had dyscalculia (number dyslexia) to a senior colleague in my academic faculty
  • On the day of this dream I had been discussing someone who exhibited similar mental health/personality disorder symptoms as one of my relatives. This relative used to use a wheelchair/mobility scooter despite the fact she did not have a physical disability - as a way of getting disability benefits
  • A couple of days before this dream I had received Facebook messages from a male who had added me. The messages were innocent and in any event, I was not interested. A few hours later, his girlfriend messaged me, questioning me about why her boyfriend was messaging me. I also received messages from another man with a girlfriend - constantly pestering me to go out with him - I ended up deleting him after warning him that I was not interested and he should be more respectful of his girlfriend
  • A few of days ago I noticed a huge spider on the ceiling above my bed. I thought it was dead, because it didn't seem to move - until eventually I saw it twitching (I am not scared of spiders)

Waking Reactions: 
This was only one day into my Dream Incubation Experiment, so it is not  surprising that it was probably unconnected to my chosen dream incubation. This was the most vivid and complex dream I have had in a while, which is good, because my dream work/practice had stagnated somewhat due to a poor sleep routine and hectic schedule. I really enjoyed all aspects of this dream.  It is weird when I feel 'in love' with someone in a dream, especially since I am not an emotional or affectionate person in waking life; it the object of my desire is not someone I would be attracted to in real life. It's a nice feeling, but it does make me wonder if this is a message from my  subconscious; I will monitor whether this theme recurs in any of my other dreams during the course of this experiment. Below is a Youtube video where I discuss it in relation to my Dream Incubation Experiment, as well as the initial video where I introduce my experiment and discuss dream incubation generally.


So, I have been having a few problems with dreaming/dream recall recently, due to a number of reasons which I have outlined in my new Youtube video, which I have posted below. In order to refocus and invigorate my dream work, I like to conduct experiments from time to time. I find that this gives me a goal and motivates me to try harder with my dream practices. I have noticed from the comments/messages from my subscribers/followers, that my Dream Incubation Experiments are pretty popular and often some of you lovely people like to follow along with me and try your own Dream Incubation Experiment, using the same methodology (see below). I love hearing about your dream incubation experiments and whether they are successful! 

I find that the more vague and general my Dream Incubation Experiments are, the more likely they are to be successful. If I try to be too strict or prescriptive about my chosen Dream Incubation Experiment theme, it tends to fail. In the past I have chosen specific dream themes, dream characters or dream contexts and found varying levels of success, but mainly failure. I am therefore going to chose a more traditional approach this time - asking my subconscious a very open-ended and broad question. This will allow me not only to analyse each individual dream and see how it relates to my question, but also assess the course of my dreaming as a whole, to analyse whether there are any recurrent themes or a 'golden thread' which runs through them. With the more specific, prescriptive dream incubations, my success tends to be rated on whether I have that particular dream or not. With this open-ended general question, I will have much more scope for interpreting my dreams and the ways in which my subconscious is attempting to answer my question. 

In this respect, my current Dream Incubation Experiment is much more along the lines of the approach espoused by psychologist Deirdre Barrett of Harvard Medical School, who uses dream incubation for objective problem-solving and creative inspiration. Barrett sees dreams as 'thinking in a different biochemical state' and has done extensive work in the area of dream incubation. I urge you to read up on some of her experiments or studies in this area and other dream-related subjects. 

My question for this Dream Incubation Experiment is:

This can be interpreted in a number of ways: General lifestyle; career options; ambitions; romantic/sex-life etc. Typically I am someone who lives each day as it comes, with little future planning. I hate making decisions and try to avoid them. I also rarely know what I genuinely want and tend to take the easiest, least stressful route or simply put things off until they absolutely have to be confronted. I am hoping my subconscious can give me some clue as to what I really want from my life, and give me some guidance. I do actually choose certain life paths based on what my dreams tell me - in the past I have acted on ideas expressed in my dreams and had positive results, so I place a lot of trust and faith in my subconscious!

I will do the following to incubate my chosen dream theme:
  • Perform the MILD Technique for lucid dreaming on a daily basis. If this dream is a lucid dream, it will therefore be a DILD (Dream-Initiated/Induced Lucid Dream). However, lucidity is not a specific aim of this Dream Incubation Experiment - if it happens during the course of the experiment, it will be a happy eventuality, not an intended result I am working towards.
  • Incorporate elements of Tholey's Combined Technique for lucid dreaming, which has been reviewed as the most successful (cognitive) method for lucid dream induction and works well in conjunction with MILD, which is based on similar cognitive programming of the mind. I will adapt the key steps of critical reflection, intention and auto-suggestion so that I not only encourage myself to become lucid, but use these as a way of incubating my desired dream theme.
  • Use visual aids - such as a written reminder of my specific question - as well as immersing myself in material relevant to my dream incubation during my waking hours. I will also keep the written prompt for my dream incubation under my pillow and make sure I read it before going to sleep each night.
  • Where possible, I will perform the Wake-Back-to-Bed method.
  • Incorporate my chosen dream theme in both my daily reality checks (15 - 20 per day) by thinking clearly and positively about my incubated dream theme after each reality check.
  • Train myself to spot dreamsigns when reflecting on my Dream Journal entries each day following a dream.
  • Meditate on my incubated dream theme for at least 10 minutes before sleep and perform specific affirmations alongside the normal MILD Technique/Tholey's Combined Technique ones ('I will lucid dream about [incubated dream theme] tonight, and I will remember it') - this should also encourage successful dream recall.
  • Use Dream Visualisation before sleep - using my previous dreams based on the incubated dream theme as inspiration.
  • 100 - 150 mg of 'lucid dream supplement' Vitamin B6 (2/3 x 50 mg pills) where I am able to remember to do so before sleep - I will specifically note when I have taken this supplement.

I have had some successful and unsuccessful previous dream incubation experiments, which you may like to read (click on the title of each experiment to be taken to the post, which will open in a new window):