Dream date: 25 April 2016 How ironic! In my last post I mentioned that I was temporarily suspending my Dream Incubation (Serial Killer Dream) Dream Incubation Experiment as I had not had much success and I wanted to try a new experiment which was a little more flexible and easy. Then, in the early hours of this morning, when I had a few hours sleep (after being sleep deprived due to no sleep the previously) I had a dream, which I have forgotten a large amount of, due to interruptions by my phone, waking me up. However: IT WAS A SUCCESSFUL DREAM INCUBATION on the the serial killer theme! You can read the details and methodology of my latest Dream Incubation Experiment by clicking HERE. Scene 1: My Nan's House, Sheringham - Night I was in my Nan's house in Sheringham. We were talking, but something annoyed me and we started arguing. I cannot recall what it was about. I got into a rage and found I was holding a large serrated hunting/military type knife. I started to stab my Nan repeatedly in a frantic rage, aiming primarily for the head, face and neck. It didn't seem to affect her - there was blood everywhere, but my Nan was still standing, moving and interacting with me, as if nothing happened. I told her to sit down, which she did. I then stabbed the knife into the top of her head, and left it there, leaving the house. I then noticed that my phone screen was broken - there were 2 large cracks in it. I saw this as I was walking along a dark street - I am not sure where I was exactly. Every time I checked the screen of my phone, the crack was bigger, deeper or a new one had appeared. There was a scene with a male dream character and an object which I perceived (upon waking) to be a doll's house. I cannot recall anything else about this dream. TIME: 05:45 - 11:00 hours (I woke up from this dream)
LUCIDITY: NO
SPECIAL NOTES: NONE OF NOTE Dream Information:
None of note
Dreamsigns:
I was acting violently towards my Nan! NEVER EVER would this happen
Recurrent Dream Themes:
A cracked/broken phone screen
Potential Day/Dream Residue:
None of note
Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
This dream was very much related to my Dream Incubation Experiment - I was trying to stab my Nan to death! The dream did not feel like a nightmare, but I dislike the fact that I had this dream and it makes me annoyed that the one dream I have where I commit murder/attempt murder - or at least a violent knife attack - it had to be on my Nan, not a random dream character or someone who seemed to deserve my anger. NOT POSITIVE! But I have to expect that this might happen when incubating controversial or 'dangerous' dream themes - perhaps my subconscious is teaching me a lesson? * I may have forgotten some aspects of this dream. If I recall anything else later, I will record it below.
As regular readers of my Blog will know, I enjoy conducting casual dream experiments and then recording my progress in a honest and thorough way so that my fellow oneironauts can monitor my methodology, successes and failures. My most recent experiment was a Dream Incubation Experiment - Serial Killer Dream, but despite a few instances where the theme emerged in my dreams, I have not had much luck in incubating the desired dream.
Therefore, although I intend to return to this dream incubation experiment, I decided to try something new in order to practice my skills of influencing the content of my dreams. I thought an inventive way of doing this, would be to use day residue - the events of our waking day (the day(s) prior to the dream) which appear in, or influence, our dreams. This is because, through analysis of each of my recorded dreams, I constantly notice the significance of day residue and how it affects the narrative content, themes and symbolism of my dreams. Hopefully, this experiment will also lead to me being able to identify day residue within the dreamin order to hopefully use it as a 'dreamsign' (and trigger a reality check) which could help induce lucidity.
Methodology
In addition to analysing the day residue which surfaces in my dreams by chance, I am going to try and 'foreshadow' or influence my dreams by identifying 5 key events/experiences which happen during my waking hours (I don't always sleep at night). I will refer to these key events/experiences as 'Key Triggers' (my own term) before I go to sleep.
I will record the 5 Key Triggers in detail, so it is clear how I experienced them and in what context.
I am not going to use any particular cognitive technique with regard to the Key Triggers during my waking hours prior to the dream - I am relying on the fact that I am consciously selecting them in advance and recording them. I am not trying to incubate a particular dream - I am simply experimenting with 'predicting' day residue or analysing whether identifying potential sources of day residue in advance can affect the dreams I spontaneously have the following night. This experiment is not about control, simply influence.
I will hopefully recognise any of the Key Triggers which appear in my dream whilst I am dreaming. I hope that this might work as a dreamsign, leading to a reality check and a lucid dream by way of a DILD (Dream-Initiated Lucid Dream).
I will then record the dream as usual and then analyse my results.
KEY TRIGGERS
My Key Triggers for Tuesday 26 April 2016:
(1) My American Friend, SS
My friend in America, SS, mentioned in a Facebook chat that he would like to appear in another one of my dreams, so I decided to use him as a Key Trigger. The image below is a photograph of him yesterday (sent via Facebook Messenger) while he was working. It has been blurred to protect his identity as I don't post images of my family and friends on my Blog without prior permission.
(2) Red Fiat 500 Car
There is a red Fiat 500 car which is always parked directly outside my house, so I see it several times a day, every day. The image below is one which I sourced from the internet to illustrate.
(3) Nutella
Today, there was a strong (delicious) smell of Nutella in my house during the evening. I found that my housemate had baked a cake. Coincidentally, I had also been discussing 'olfactory dreams' with a Facebook friend, which may be worth noting at this stage. The image below was sourced from the internet for illustrative purposes.
(4) Inuit People
The Inuit People (often referred to as 'Eskimos') are a group of culturally similar indigenous peoples, inhabiting the Arctic regions of Greenland, Canada and Alaska. I had a conversation about Inuit people with one of my online friends. The image below was sourced from the internet for illustrative purposes.
(5) 'Underboob Bra'
Yesterday, a number of online media sources were posting articles about a new trend for 'underboob bras' - I decided that I would like to buy an 'underboob bra'! The image below is sourced from the internet for illustrative purposes.
Dream date: 25 April 2016 How ironic! In my last post I mentioned that I was temporarily suspending my Dream Incubation (Serial Killer Dream) Dream Incubation Experiment as I had not had much success and I wanted to try a new experiment which was a little more flexible and easy. Then, in the early hours of this morning, when I had a few hours sleep (after being sleep deprived due to no sleep the previously) I had a dream, which I have forgotten a large amount of, due to interruptions by my phone, waking me up. However: IT WAS A SUCCESSFUL DREAM INCUBATION on the the serial killer theme! You can read the details and methodology of my latest Dream Incubation Experiment by clicking HERE. Scene 1: My Nan's House, Sheringham - Night I was in my Nan's house in Sheringham. We were talking, but something annoyed me and we started arguing. I cannot recall what it was about. I got into a rage and found I was holding a large serrated hunting/military type knife. I started to stab my Nan repeatedly in a frantic rage, aiming primarily for the head, face and neck. It didn't seem to affect her - there was blood everywhere, but my Nan was still standing, moving and interacting with me, as if nothing happened. I told her to sit down, which she did. I then stabbed the knife into the top of her head, and left it there, leaving the house. I then noticed that my phone screen was broken - there were 2 large cracks in it. I saw this as I was walking along a dark street - I am not sure where I was exactly. Every time I checked the screen of my phone, the crack was bigger, deeper or a new one had appeared. There was a scene with a male dream character and an object which I perceived (upon waking) to be a doll's house. I cannot recall anything else about this dream. TIME: 05:45 - 11:00 hours (I woke up from this dream)
LUCIDITY: NO
SPECIAL NOTES: NONE OF NOTE Dream Information:
None of note
Dreamsigns:
I was acting violently towards my Nan! NEVER EVER would this happen
Recurrent Dream Themes:
A cracked/broken phone screen
Potential Day/Dream Residue:
None of note
Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
This dream was very much related to my Dream Incubation Experiment - I was trying to stab my Nan to death! The dream did not feel like a nightmare, but I dislike the fact that I had this dream and it makes me annoyed that the one dream I have where I commit murder/attempt murder - or at least a violent knife attack - it had to be on my Nan, not a random dream character or someone who seemed to deserve my anger. NOT POSITIVE! But I have to expect that this might happen when incubating controversial or 'dangerous' dream themes - perhaps my subconscious is teaching me a lesson? * I may have forgotten some aspects of this dream. If I recall anything else later, I will record it below.
As regular readers of my Blog will know, I enjoy conducting casual dream experiments and then recording my progress in a honest and thorough way so that my fellow oneironauts can monitor my methodology, successes and failures. My most recent experiment was a Dream Incubation Experiment - Serial Killer Dream, but despite a few instances where the theme emerged in my dreams, I have not had much luck in incubating the desired dream.
Therefore, although I intend to return to this dream incubation experiment, I decided to try something new in order to practice my skills of influencing the content of my dreams. I thought an inventive way of doing this, would be to use day residue - the events of our waking day (the day(s) prior to the dream) which appear in, or influence, our dreams. This is because, through analysis of each of my recorded dreams, I constantly notice the significance of day residue and how it affects the narrative content, themes and symbolism of my dreams. Hopefully, this experiment will also lead to me being able to identify day residue within the dreamin order to hopefully use it as a 'dreamsign' (and trigger a reality check) which could help induce lucidity.
Methodology
In addition to analysing the day residue which surfaces in my dreams by chance, I am going to try and 'foreshadow' or influence my dreams by identifying 5 key events/experiences which happen during my waking hours (I don't always sleep at night). I will refer to these key events/experiences as 'Key Triggers' (my own term) before I go to sleep.
I will record the 5 Key Triggers in detail, so it is clear how I experienced them and in what context.
I am not going to use any particular cognitive technique with regard to the Key Triggers during my waking hours prior to the dream - I am relying on the fact that I am consciously selecting them in advance and recording them. I am not trying to incubate a particular dream - I am simply experimenting with 'predicting' day residue or analysing whether identifying potential sources of day residue in advance can affect the dreams I spontaneously have the following night. This experiment is not about control, simply influence.
I will hopefully recognise any of the Key Triggers which appear in my dream whilst I am dreaming. I hope that this might work as a dreamsign, leading to a reality check and a lucid dream by way of a DILD (Dream-Initiated Lucid Dream).
I will then record the dream as usual and then analyse my results.
KEY TRIGGERS
My Key Triggers for Monday 25 April 2016:
(1) Beyoncé - Lemonade (2016)
On 23 April 2016, Beyoncé released Lemonade, her sixth album as an exclusive HBO world premiere event. The visual album was also released on Tidal and will be promoted via the Formation World Tour, starting this month. On release, Lemonade created enormous publicity due to it's dark and complex themes surrounding every woman's journey of self-knowledge and healing, touching on issues of cultural identity - and most controversially - infidelity. The album contains numerous references to marital discord and betrayal. Social media and news media have been saturated with information relating to Lemonade since it's release, so I have been repeatedly exposed to this trigger for the past day. The images below are publicity images released by Beyoncé to promote the album; and also the bee and lemon emojis (used as symbolic representations of the love Beyoncé's fans - collectively known as 'the Beyhive' - have for their idol) which also flooded social media in the aftermath of the album release.
(2) Rat
When I was outside my house in Norwich (in the evening), I was alarmed by a large brown rat which ran past me, into the rubbish/trash collection area (which faces my front door, less than a metre in front, in a wooden 'cupboard'). The rat went into a black bin bag and then came back out, running past me again. I am not scared of rats (I used to keep 2 pet rats), but I am terrified of wild (sewer) rats, as they carry disease. The image below was sourced from the internet for illustrative purposes.
(3) MAC - Good Luck Trolls Collection
My favourite cosmetics company MAC are releasing a special edition line based around the Good Luck Troll toys (invented in 1959, but popularised in the 1990s). I was particularly impressed by this news - which I discovered today - because I used to be obsessed with troll dolls when I was a child in the 1990s, and used to collect them - I believe I made reference to troll dolls in a recent Blog post in relation to a dream report. Anyway, this quirky new MAC collection will be available online (July 2016) and in store (August 2016) in time to coincide with an upcoming animated movie based on the same troll doll characters (November 2016). Upon finding out about the new MAC collection, I did some online research today. The images are below are advance marketing images sourced from the internet - and the same as those I saw when initially researching the products today.
(4) DL's Broken Pinky Finger
On Friday (22 April 2016), DL went bowling with his work colleagues and had an accident which lead to him breaking/fracturing his left (dominant hand) 'pinky' finger. When I saw him today (24 April 2016), he had a splint on his finger. The image below was a general one I found on the internet, focusing on the left pinky finger, for illustrative purposes.
(5) Black Tar Heroin (1999)
I listened to my favourite ever documentary, Black Tar Heroin: The Dark End of the Street (1999), again today, as a background sound, while I was writing. This was an HBO film by Steven Okazaki, which follows the lives of a number of young heroin addicts living in and around the Tenderloin area of San Francisco between 1995 - 1998. I have previously mentioned this documentary numerous times on this Blog due to the impact it had on me. The documentary is available on Youtube. The image below is a shot from the documentary which is used as the thumbnail for the Youtube video version.
Dream date: 22 April 2016 This is Day 54 of my Dream Incubation Experiment. You can read the details and methodology of my latest Dream Incubation Experiment by clicking HERE. Scene 1: An Exterior Location, Sheringham - Day I have forgotten the majority of this dream, although I remembered much more when I first woke up from it. The problem was that after laying still in bed, recalling the dream, I fell asleep again for a couple of hours, which destroyed my memory of the dream! I think the dream started in the back garden of my Nan's house in Sheringham. I was with DL. It was a sunny day. I was aware - or perhaps DL told me - that he was dating a woman who would be joining us. I did not want DL's date to join us - I thought it would be awkward and unnecessary, which I told him. He seemed to be favouring this woman (unseen in the dream, as she was not present in this scene) and preferring her to me, his ex and best friend. I was getting annoyed. I then saw the exterior of my former primary school (which is fairly close to my Nan's house as they are at the same end of the town). I was standing outside, looking at the front of the building (see image, below). The school was painted in very bright multi-coloured paint and looked joyful. I was supposed to be attending primary school again. I cannot recall anything else about this dream. TIME: 04:30 - 11:50 hours (I woke up from this dream, then went back to sleep again)
The day of this dream, I had to complete an assignment for my Teaching Skills course - I finished shortly before I went to sleep
A couple of days ago I had told my friend SS about my former primary school headmistress (cannot recall her name), who was a Christian fanatic. She drove a multi-coloured minibus with religious symbolism painted all over it and forced us to sing a song she made up (to the tune of 'Jingle Bells'), which was called 'JOY' (the lyrics were: 'J-O-Y, J-O-Y / Surely that must mean / Jesus first, yourself last and others in between!'). She used to punish me and my friend for expressing 'atheist views' (we weren't aware of what atheism was, we were just of the opinion that God didn't exist and we shouldn't be forced to pray or sing songs about him just because our headmistress wanted assemblies - and other lessons - to have a Christian theme). I used to bring adult horror books - especially ones with demonic or satanic themes - into lessons with me when I was 9 - 10 years old, just to assert myself in this respect. I was a strong-willed, rebellious child. I was obsessed with buying horror books from the secondhand bookshop which me and my Nan used to visit every Saturday, on our way home from town, and because I was such a mature reader, my family didn't mind if the books were unsuitable for young children, since I was aware they were fictional and I was too literate for most books aimed at my age group (although I did still read some child-appropriate books). The headmistress used to contact my Mum about my 'evil' reading material, and my Mum paid no attention to her, because she thought the headmistress was a weird hippy Bible-basher (NO-ONE liked her, even the teaching staff, it seemed)
When analysing Dream 611 - 'Redbreast', I had looked at the Facebook profile of one girl who DL and I been discussing (not the 2 mentioned in Dream 611, but a third one, who is again, in the same social circle). DL said that this third female, LB, looked a lot like CLS. I noticed LB was a Deftones fan, like myself. I know one of the other girls (referenced in Dream 611) is also a Deftones fan. DL and I had been discussing Deftones a couple of days ago, and I wondered (when looking at Facebook profiles of the females who I thought influenced my dream) if he knew they had a new album because he had seen her reference it online. Deftones have a track on their White Pony (2000) called 'Back to School (Mini Maggit)' which I often have on my gym playlist!
* Please also note that today (24 April 2016, as I update this dream), I was telling DL about this dream and what I thought influenced it. He told me that he had seen the reference to the Deftones album on the Facebook page of LB (1 of the 3 girls, JSS, CLS and LB referenced in this dream report and in Dream 611 - 'Redbreast') - confirming my suspicions outlined in the Potential Day/Dream Residue section, above). Remember, LB is not on my Facebook friends list, so I only noticed her reference to Deftones because I was looking at the public parts of her profile following my recording and analysis of Dream 611! This means that my subconscious really did pick up the the cues I suspected it had when trying to interpret the meaning and influence of this dream!
Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
This dream was not related to my Dream Incubation Experiment. I found this dream pretty 'flat' when I woke up from it...as if there was something making me feel empty or unsatisfied. Until I recall the forgotten aspects of this dream I am unable to analyse why it made me feel this way. * I may have forgotten some aspects of this dream. If I recall anything else later, I will record it below. *Recalled Dream Scene (23 April 2016 at 00:57 hours) While I was in my Nan's back garden with DL, I saw a large metal pencil sharpener laying in the grass. Recalling a real-life memory from a few weeks previously, where I had bought a plastic pencil sharpener in a pharmacy (on DL's road), and told him I hoped it sharpened cosmetic pencils as well as metal sharpeners did, I picked up the pencil sharpener in the dream, thinking: 'I need this, because the plastic one I bought was useless!' I was pleased to get a good metal pencil sharpener for free! *Memory Trigger:I was looking in my makeup bag for my eyebrow tweezers, when I saw my eyebrow/eyeliner/lipliner pencils, which triggered the memory.
Dream date: 20 April 2016 This is Day 52 of my Dream Incubation Experiment. You can read the details and methodology of my latest Dream Incubation Experiment by clicking HERE. Scene 1: An Interior (Location Unknown) - Day I was in an interior (unrecalled), standing at the bottom of a flight of stairs, which appeared to be part of a domestic home. Celebrity chef, Jamie Oliver was standing at the top of the stairs. He had his arms spread out either side of him, like Jesus. I asked Jamie Oliver if he would have sex with me (I find him SO unattractive in real-life, that this was a dreamsign!). He said 'No', and I started begging him, but he would not change his mind. I then entered a different room, which seemed to be a lounge. PS was there. He said he had come to see me and wanted to have sex with me. I was happy to see him. I then saw the 'garden' of this location, which seemed to be a public park of some kind (or at least it looked like a park, as there was a large lawn which stretched out endlessly, and a path, which looked like a public walkway, along which were some wooden benches). I could see that it was daylight, but not sunny. On the pathway I saw a girl sitting with a group of other young adults. They were wearing 'urban' clothing - baggy jeans, hoodies etc and were both male and female, although there were more females than males present. In total there were perhaps 8 people in this group.
The girl I noticed first had dark hair and a blunt fringe. She was white, with pale skin, and was of a slim build. I was aware that her name was 'Robin Redbreast' but she went by the name of 'Redbreast'. She had a portfolio of her art which she was showing to the group. The images in the portfolio were mainly sepia-toned, but also had black and red elements. I saw a picture of a robin on one page. Apparently, these images (I cannot recall what the other ones were of) were the latest trend in the UK hip hop community and everyone thought she was a genius for making them. I thought the images were boring and pretty basic. I felt angry that 'Redbreast' was in my vicinity, and I realised that PS must have invited her. I went back inside and saw PS sitting/laying sprawled out on a sofa (this room had some elements which reminded me of my childhood home in Pine Grove, Sheringham - notably the position of the sofa in the room). I asked PS to 'get rid of Redbreast' but he refused, saying that he wanted her to be here. I was arguing with him, but he would not make 'Redbreast' leave the location, and I felt jealous and rejected by him - confused as to why he came to see me, but brought another girl. Sitting next to PS on the sofa was a male with olive skin and black hair (so similar to PS in skin tone and hair colour). I perceived this to be LRB (a real-life friend of PS), although only his colouring was similar. He was also semi-sitting/semi-lying on the sofa. I wished he would leave as well - I think I asked PS to make him leave so that we could be alone, but PS refused this also and the male, 'LRB' was grinning at me in a very smug, self-satisfied way, saying nothing. I cannot recall anything else about this dream. TIME: 00:30 - 11:30 hours (I woke up from this dream)
The day before this dream I had been talking to DL about a girl (CLS) on Facebook who has a number of mutual friends - I had been told rumours about her (negative ones, but I don't know her at all and the rumours don't affect me in any way, but since the rumours relate to other people DL and I do know, I was interested to know if he was aware of her). In the course of this conversation, we discussed another girl (JSS) - who is also in the same social circle - who I have a problem with as she had contacted PS while I was with him, and latterly, been a 'third wheel' between DL and I (DL knows her, but is no longer in contact with her). JSS is an illustrator/artist in her spare time. Her work is competent, but in my opinion fairly banal - it's graphic line drawing in an 'urban' style. I don't rate it highly, as it is pure craft-based aesthetically pleasing and skillful draftsmanship without 'vision' or 'concept' (yes I am an art snob!). In this dream, I perceived 'Redbreast' as being a composite between CLS and JSS
Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
This dream was not related to my Dream Incubation Experiment. I woke up from it feeling quite depressed - because it related to a previous relationship (and the most significant, long-term relationship I have had). I felt rejected and abandoned by PS in this dream - so it made emotions I experienced a number of years ago resurface. It is also notable that I started my period the day of after this dream took place, and typically, around the time of my period I tend to experience negative emotions. If there is nothing in my current waking life for the negative emotions to attach to, they tend to relate to negative memories and I have to focus my mind on the fact that I am not actually depressed, but it's a temporary state, influenced by my hormones. * I may have forgotten some aspects of this dream. If I recall anything else later, I will record it below.
Out of all of the topics related to dreaming that I research and write on, dream sex (lucid or non-lucid) seems to be the theme which interests the majority of my readers/viewers, judging by engagement with content, search queries I can see in my Blog analytics, or questions asked by my audience. Therefore, I thought I would address the topic from a personal perspective, in the form of a Q & A session.
What was the first sex dream you ever experienced?
I actually have no idea - I haven't got a written record of it, nor can I remember that far back. I couldn't even give you an estimate of what stage in my life it would have occurred. I do remember having 'wet dreams' when I was a teenager, and really enjoying the experience, although not knowing how to recreate the feeling of clitoral engorgement in real-life (i.e. I did not know how to masturbate, so my sex dreams were my only experience of arousal at that time). I can't remember who was involved in these dreams, although one does spring to mind - 'Shane Parrish' (played by Dieter Brummer), the 'bad boy' character in Home & Away. The sex happened in a convertible car! I was around 13 - 14 years old. I didn't particularly fancy him in real-life, but I remember the dream being pretty exciting.
What was the last sex dream you experienced?
I've had 2 sex dreams in recent times - Dream 608 - 'Weird Sex Dream' where a male dream character told me I had to have sex with SW, a male friend who I went to school with, and am still in casual contact with. The dream involved sexual intercourse, but didn't feel 'sexual'. I then had Dream 610 - 'Weird Weed in Bad Hotel', which was more enjoyable, because it was an actual wet dream where I had an orgasm. Both of these dreams involved me having sex in front of other dream characters in the room. In the earlier dream (Dream 608) I was told I had to have sex with SW, wherea in Dream 610, the sex happened spontaneously. How often do you experience sex dreams? Not as regularly as I would like - perhaps once every few months, sometimes more. Usually when I am experiencing a 'dry spell' in real-life.
What was your favourite sex dream?
I can't find the precise dream to link, but it was a dream which involved a male friend - it was just straight sex, nothing unusual. I would also say that masturbating in a lucid dream gave me a very strong and pleasurable sexual response, quite different to anything else I have experienced in the dream state. I didn't even need to touch myself with my hands - I started to meditate and the result of meditating in a lucid dream (via WILD) was experienced as a powerful full body orgasm, during which I was bathed in glowing golden light. I have also masturbated in another lucid dream - I just decided to sit down and touch myself.
What was your least favourite sex dream?
I can't actually think of my least sex dream - I don;t tend to have 'bad' sex dreams, just ones which aren't sexually satisfying or involve people I would not actually have sex with in real-life. In terms of dreams which involve sex, I would say the worst are those which involve family members (I had one in which I was Beyonce and my stepdad was trying to seduce 'me' - as Beyonce); and others where my grandfather (who is dead in real-life) had been sexually inappropriate towards me and my cousin HM.
Which celebrities have you had dream sex with?
I have had sex with Johnny Depp in a lucid dream (WILD/false awakening) and I was about to have sex with Kurt Cobain in another lucid dream, but was disturbed before it could happen, which was massively disappointing. There have been other celebrities, of course, but these are the ones which stand out in my memory. I would also add that I have a number of dreams where Eminem (Marshall Mathers III) is my husband or partner and as a result I have started to fancy him in real-life, which I didn't before. I haven't experienced sex with him in a dream (that I can recall - although I may have and just forgotten), but I am looking forward to that dream taking place and it may need to be a dream incubation experiment, given my subconscious mind already seems to be pretty fixed on him!
Who is your fantasy sex dream partner?
Well, I still need to have dream sex with Kurt Cobain, since that one ended prematurely! And I am keen to have dream sex with my 'recurrent dream husband' Eminem - because I enjoy being married to him in my dreams. In fact, I would say Eminem is the one celebrity I need to incubate a sex dream about, since I have had so many positive 'romantic' experiences with him in the dream state, and this led me to actually finding him pretty sexy and attractive in real-life - something I had not considered before having recurrent dreams of relationships/marriage, as mentioned above - but which is demonstrative of the power of the subconscious mind on conscious thoughts and emotions. I have included the gif below because this is precisely how I wish to see him in the dream - the way he looked/dressed in 8 Mile (2002).
There are other celebrities I find attractive, for example, Ewan McGregor, which would be a pleasant experience, but I am not that bothered by who I have dream sex with. There is no-one in my real-life who I want to have dream sex with currently - if I want sex with a real-life person I know, the chances are, I would actually approach them for the real thing, not the dream version!
What is the weirdest way in which dream sex has affected your waking life?
I do think that it is possible to start having sexual feelings for someone after dreaming of having sex with them. Maybe those feelings were repressed until experienced in the dream state, which gave the sexual feelings a form of expression which allowed them to be acknowledged. In one instance, quite some time ago, I was not sexually active, and I had a sex dream - out of the blue - about a male friend who I had not ever been sexually or romantically involved with in real-life. I hadn't even been in contact with him for a while prior to the dream. The sex in the dream was pretty regular - normal penetration - but I woke up from the dream and started to want to have sex with my friend in real-life, so I told him about the dream. This encouraged him - without me having to express my wish to have sex with him - to ask me if I wanted to 'hook up', an offer which I gratefully accepted and I ended up eventually having a casual friends-with-benefits arrangement with him, because it was a very satisfying experience - even better than the sex dream which inspired it! I have absolutely no regrets about this!
Do you typically tell friends if you have sex with them in a dream?
If it is a friend who I would normally talk to on a semi-regular basis, I would probably tell them. If it was a close friend, I would definitely tell them. If it someone I know casually, it would depend on what kind of person they are and how they might react. I have had strange reactions to me telling friends I have had dream sex with them - mainly positive. My close friends know I record (anonymously) all my dreams online anyway, and a number of them will be able to recognise their own initials as identifying them, so it doesn't seem to make sense to keep it a secret, given I am an open person with little verbal filter anyway! Most of the responses have been positive - my male friends tend to be really flattered that I have had dream sex with them and occasionally, it leads them to express real-life sexual feelings towards me, such as: 'That makes me wish I could do it for real' or suchlike. However, when I told one of my colleagues about me having sex with him in a dream, I could see he felt uncomfortable and I regretted telling him so blatantly as I had embarrassed him.
What is the experience of sex like in a dream for you?
I would say on average, 50% of my sex dreams involve an actual orgasm - so are 'wet dreams' - and 50% of don't feel much like sex at all, or are simply unfulfilling. Most of my sex dreams are just regular penetration, no kinky business - which reflects my waking life preferences, as I have no kinks or fetishes. There is never much affection, such as kissing - again, reflecting the fact I am not really a touchy-feely person in my waking-life, and like sex to be raw and animalistic, rather than loving and tender, even with a boyfriend. Often, the sex will take place in a public place, with people watching - sometimes family members of colleagues. This does not bother me in the dream - in fact I quite like it in the dream, which may reflect my exhitbitionist trait and my love of shocking and scandalizing people. It may also reflect the fact I am sexually open and expressive. Often I don't experience undressing in sex dreams - one moment I am fully clothed and the next moment, I am having sex and unaware if I removed any clothing. This is despite having non-sexual 'naked dreams' where I feel liberated by the act of being naked in public. I also experience a lot of sex dreams where the imminent sexual act is disrupted by someone at the precise moment my partner is getting his penis out ready for sex.
Does (lucid) dream sex feel like real sex?
For me, never. Even when it is a wet dream resulting in an orgasm. In normal non-lucid dreams, often the sexual act feels more like 'wrestling' - bodies becoming entangled together, with no particular feeling of penetration. The feeling of the orgasm feels like a normal waking one however, and before the climax, the sensation in my clitoris is almost unbearably intense - like extreme arousal. When I wake up from a 'wet dream' there is no lubrication however. In a lucid dream, the sex feels more like masturbation - I can feel the engorgement in my clitoris and the same strong feelings of arousal I would during foreplay, but I can't detect the feeling of a penis entering my vagina or the body of my sexual partner rubbing against mine. So my body can replicate the feelings of sexual arousal and stimulation, but not actual penetration.
When are you most likely to experience a sex dream?
I most experience sex dreams when I am not sexually active in my waking life, or have not masturbated for a while. I very rarely have dream sex when I am in a real-life relationship, and I cannot remember ever having a sex dream which involves a real-life boyfriend at the time, although I have had sex dreams involving causal partners and exes. I often have sex dreams around the time of my period as well.
Do you experience same-sex (lesbian) sex dreams?
Yes, I have often experienced lesbian sex dreams, and also dreams which involve other women and men in an orgy situation. I don't get any physical pleasure from the same-sex sex dreams, and often in these dreams I wish I was having sex with a man. This reflects my heterosexual orientation; although I am perfectly comfortable with the notion of having a same-sex relationship and have experimented with women sexually in real-life (but did not feel turned on at all, so engaged in a 'performative' manner for the pleasure of a male spectator) I am only attracted to men and don't really even like women on a friendship basis (as I relate more to boys). The same-sex dreams are not negative experiences, but they aren't sexualy fulfilling either. My same-sex sex dreams often happen on the floor!
Do you have any recurrent sex dream themes?
As mentioned above. often the sex happens in public, with people watching which I enjoy in the dream. I also have had a recurrent sex dream for many years, in which I am kneeling on some stairs, or scrubbing a floor clean, and an unseen male approaches me from behind and starts to have sex with me, doggy-style. I never find out the identity of the male and I find these dreams quite exciting! I have also had several dreams where there is a dead bird either on - or coming out of (i.e. being born from) my vagina. I have yet to discover what this dream symbol means. It isn't exactly sexual, but it relates to my genitals and is certainly a weird theme!
What are the most common sexual positions/acts you experience in a sex dream?
The most common sexual positions are from behind (doggy-style), missionary or me on top which the male sits in a chair. I would say these are my favourite waking-life sexual positions as well, so my dreams largely reflect my real-life preferences. Other than regular, plain penetrative sex, the most recurrent sexual act I experience in a sex dream is oral sex - performed on the male by me. I cannot remember a single dream in which a male dream character has performed oral sex on me though.
What are genitals like in sex dreams?
I have never managed to see my own genitals in a sex dream, so I suppose my own are 'normal' in the dream state. However, penises are often so disproportionately large that it is inhumanely possible - such as metre-long penises which are as thick as an average thigh. Also, I tend to have weird sex dream experiences regarding ejaculation, which often involve too much fluid, or fluid of a weird consistency and colour. Kurt Cobain had a very nice, normal looking penis in the lucid dream where I almost had sex with him.
Do you ever feel guilty about anything which happens in a sex dream after you have woken up?
Definitely not - if I happen to have a sex dream when I am in a relationship (with someone not my partner), then I don't consider it cheating, even if I caused it to happen intentionally in a lucid dream. I see literally no difference between me expressing myself this way and my partner using pornography and fantasizing about having sex with a pornstar (or anyone else) - as long as he doesn't inform me he does it when he has sex with me (which nobody wants to hear, unless it's something the couple actively encourage), then it's harmless. I don't believe anyone should be held guilty for a thought crime and I don't believe anyone should be accused of infidelity for a 'thought f*ck' either. It's harmless compared to a real-life infidelity. In regard to having unpleasant sex dreams - those which have involved family members are disturbing upon waking, but I soon get over it and rationalise it is a dream and has some form of (perhaps unclear) symbolic meaning, or has been influenced by day residue in some way. If I am raped or sexualy assaulted in a dream, I don't tend to carry negative feelings over into my waking life, even though I have been exposed to a real-life sex crime and some people may be 'triggered' by dreaming of such traumatic events. I don't let my dreams affect my waking emotions too much, because as an oneironaut, even a 'bad' dream is better than no dream.
If you enjoyed this post, please check out the following posts on this topic:
Dream date: 17 April 2016 This is Day 49 of my Dream Incubation Experiment. You can read the details and methodology of my latest Dream Incubation Experiment by clicking HERE. Scene 1: A Hotel (Location Unknown) - Time Unknown I was in a hotel room, with RBA and some other (unknown) dream characters. RBA was telling me that my cannabis was under the bed (I had apparently been waiting for it to be delivered). Under the bed there were two baggies of cannabis. RBA told me they were both mine. I also saw a piece of lined notebook paper with some extra buds of cannabis on it - I assumed this was some cannabis RBA had set aside for himself. I then laid down on a bench or table and was joined by RBA. I was wearing flesh-coloured underwear. RBA started to touch me and rub my clitoris through the underwear. This was a 'wet dream' and I had an orgasm (in real-life). The other dream characters were still in the hotel room while this happened, but I was not concerned about this, as I was enjoying the experience so much. I then went downstairs in the hotel to the lobby or dining-room area. It looked like a lounge of a house. Sitting on floral patterned sofas were a group of Irish males, who ran the hotel. One of them had a deformed leg, which he was holding in a weird angle - like it was bent at 90 degrees, but with the knee bending in the wrong direction. There was no foot, just a gristly stump of grey flesh. I don't know what I wanted to speak to this male about, but he ended up saying that my hotel room needed to be cleaned because we had left it so dirty and untidy. I did not think that the room was dirty of untidy. The Irish male with the deformed leg told 2 of the other males - who were thuggish-looking and were his family members) to go and clean the room. I tried to stop them (because I wanted to go and get my cannabis first), so I told them that I would clean the room myself. The male with the deformed leg said I would be 'charged a fine for cleaning costs'. I went back to the room and took the 2 baggies of cannabis to the window ledge to roll a joint. One of the baggies contained very high grade cannabis, which made me pleased. The other baggie looked like it contained cannabis at first, but when I emptied it out onto the windowsill, it was actually brussels sprouts and white powder! I rolled a joint from the good quality cannabis and smoked it at the window. I went back downstairs and sat in a dining chair. Pennywise the Clown from Stephen King's IT (novel: 1986; movie: 1990) was present and he stood beside my chair and started to interview me about 'what man I wanted to fuck next'. I was not happy to be interviewed about my sex life by Pennywise and I was scared of looking into his mouth as he spoke to me, because his teeth looked razor-sharp and completely rotten. I wanted the interview to end, but I did not want to insult or offend Pennywise, because he was being friendly, but I feared he might become aggressive if provoked. Scene 2: A Seaside Ice Cream Parlour (Location Unknown) - Day I then found myself in a seaside ice cream parlour. My aunt VF was sitting on a stool at the counter and behind her I could see the beach through the window - it was a sunny day. My aunt and I were having a conversation (I cannot recall what it was about), and at some stage she denied that SAF1 and SAF2 were her daughters. I was then arguing with her, saying she was their mum and they were my cousins, but I could not get her to admit it. I then realised I was carrying a large brown leather-bound book (A4 size) and this was a history of our family and may also have been a photograph album. I was trying to find the page which proved VF was the mother of SAF1 and SAF2, but the book was so thick and the pages were so thin, with such small print, that I simply could not locate the right page to prove my aunt wrong, which was frustrating. I then walked down the counter, towards the window. I stood there and watched a young male dream character use what looked like a coffee machine to make a pink ice cream sundae in a large bowl. I then feared that he - or someone else - had stolen my family history book, but as soon as the male dream character had finished making his sundae and stepped away, I could see my book was laying on the counter behind him, where I had left it, and I felt relieved. TIME: 03:30 - 10:30 hours (I woke up from this dream)
LUCIDITY: NO
SPECIAL NOTES: NONE OF NOTE Dream Information:
None of note
Dreamsigns:
The deformed leg of the Irish hotel owner
One bag of cannabis was brussels sprouts and white powder
Pennywise the Clown as a dream character
My aunt, VF denied her daughters were actually her daughters
I had bemoaned the fact that Dream 608 had been a sex dream without any kind of sexual pleasure - weirdly, 2 days after this dream, the person who I had sex with in this dream, a former school friend who lives in Sheringham (and knows my Mum and my Nan because they use the bookmakers (betting shop) he manages) contacted me out of the blue (no contact for several months) by text message, asking when I was next visiting Sheringham!
A couple of days before this dream I had seen a Facebook friend post a status saying Stephen King's IT is his favourite novel by the author. I had agreed and then mentioned I was writing my own book which referenced the character/canon/novel
I am writing a novel which features the character of Pennywise the Clown - and had been discussing this with RBA recently (I was really grateful of the fact RBA asked me how my novel writing was progressing - since no-one really seems to care when told someone is 'writing a book' - when I said I had not worked on it recently, he told me I needed to start doing more as he was keen to read it. This is what a true friend who is interested in you does and I really appreciated it!
The day before this dream, my aunt VF had responded to a Facebook status I had written about a previous party at my uncle GC's house (which VF and the rest of my family attended) where I had vomited on the floor after drinking excessive amounts of vodka and smoking cannabis, which made everyone laugh at the time, because one of my cousin's friends had given me a colander (which isn't the best vomit catching object, given it has multiple holes!!!)
Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
This dream was not related to my Dream Incubation Experiment, although it was a super-fun dream to have experienced and was so vivid and strange, with the added bonus of having a sexual ('wet') element to it, which is always welcomed if I am not sexually active in my real-life! * I may have forgotten some aspects of this dream. If I recall anything else later, I will record it below.
Dream date: 16 April 2016 This is Day 48 of my Dream Incubation Experiment. You can read the details and methodology of my latest Dream Incubation Experiment by clicking HERE. Scene 1: An Interior (Location Unknown) - Time Unknown I was talking to RBA in a dream, and in the dream, his last name was 'Lawrence' - I questioned in my mind how this was possible, as I knew his real last name, which is nothing like 'Lawrence'. I cannot recall the context or action/conversation in the scene with RBA. I was then in an interior (it may have been the same one as the previous part of the scene with RBA) with DL. DL was telling me that BC (his friend, who is also my friend on Facebook) was getting involved in some kind of computer-based fraud/hacking. It seemed like it was serious and highly illegal in the way DL was telling me. BC was in the same location, but I was not aware of this fact until I heard a doorbell ring and saw BC go to answer the door. DL said: 'That's BC's secret girlfriend, but no-one knows about her' - she was a 'secret girlfriend' because she was an expert computer hacker and fraudster and needed to protect her identity. She was going to teach BC how to commit computer hacking/fraud. I knew she had a black bobbed hairstyle and a thin, pale face - but I am not sure I actually saw her in the dream as she did not enter the room we were in. I cannot recall anything else about this dream. TIME: 02:30 - 11:30 hours (I woke up from this dream)
LUCIDITY: Pre or Semi-Lucidity - I questioned the dream using my waking logic, but I did not become fully lucid
SPECIAL NOTES: NONE OF NOTE Dream Information:
None of note
Dreamsigns:
RBA's last name was 'Lawrence' - which in the dream I recognised as being untrue
The day of this dream I had been thinking about the murder of Stephen Lawrence (1974 - 1993), a young black British male who was killed by racist thugs in 1993. The case highlighted the desperate and appalling state of institutional 'canteen' racism in the UK police force and prosecution - it took 20 years for 2 of the defendants to eventually be convicted of the heinous racially-motivated murder, following a 'cold case investigation' which was campaigned for rigorously, not only by the Lawrence family, but many others shocked and dismayed at how the case was mishandled and the lack of justice. I could write forever about this case and the impact it had on me, as a British citizen and lawyer. It motivated me to become involved in anti-hate crime activism. I had been thinking about this case in particular, after I read a short comment online which referred to the fact that 2 of Lawrence's killers enjoy the anonymity of reporting restrictions shielding their identity (my academic research is on defendant anonymity orders in criminal cases)
I had been speaking to RBA on Facebook chat just prior to falling asleep and having this dream - I had made a comment about us and our lack of regime and routine (I said 'slackers unite!') and then afterwards I referred to myself elsewhere as a 'slacktivist' - and the phrase 'hacktivist' (for hacker groups such as Anonymous - which also ties in to the association with the Stephen Lawrence case and the anonymity orders benefiting the defendants
This dream was not related to my Dream Incubation Experiment, although it did include a reference to a real-life murder. * I have definitely forgotten some aspects of this dream. If I recall anything else later, I will record it below.
