Celebrity Sex Dream Nightmares!

At some time in our lives we may experience the ultimate celebrity sex dream - the pleasure of becoming intimate with an unobtainable hero or icon may well be literally a dream come true to some of us. However, like with most dreams, the bizarre, unexpected and sometimes completely horrific can take place, turning a pleasurable dream into a surreal nightmare or 'mindfuck' situation. Below are a collection of the best 'Celebrity Sex Dream Nightmares' or at least, strange celebrity sex dream experiences the internet has to offer! If you have had you own Celebrity Sex Dream, please let me know in the comments section below this post! 

• The Harry Styles Whisperer

The Kool-Aid Man was omnipresent and could manifest himself anywhere at anytime. He just kept popping up on the coffee table and in the TV. Eventually, he interrupted my Harry Styles oral sex fantasy. As I was going down on Harry, his dick whispered: 'Oh, yeah!' like the Kool-Aid Man.

- laurenl4a3e327c7 via Buzzfeed

• The Jared Leto Apocalypse

Jared Leto and I were in the midst of an apocalypse that involved land-squids tunneling under the earth to demolish cities. We rescued a horde of animals from various pounds and pet stores. Jared and I ended up having sex in an abandoned house by candlelight while the animals kept watch.

- katstan4296 via Buzzfeed

• The The Walking Dead Scorpion Penis

I had a dream that I was getting it on with Glenn from The Walking Dead and when I pulled his pants down, his penis had a spike on the end like a scorpion. I have zero idea why the dream version of me still went down on him, but I can still remember the painful feeling in my mouth.

- Jericho Roxas Trinidad, Facebook via Buzzfeed

• The Colbert Zombie Attack

I was in a very fancy restaurant making out with Stephen Colbert, and it was all very enjoyable until a hoard of zombies busted into the restaurant and ate Stephen’s head off.

 - christinaelstong via Buzzfeed

• The The Lord of the Rings Third Wheel

The weirdest celebrity sex dream I ever had was when I was about 11 years old. Frodo and Sam from The Lord of the Rings were all tangled naked in a bright white bed in Rivendell, and I was sitting there feeling left out. Frodo turned to me and said: 'Do you mind?' I was so embarrassed that I woke up.

- cheyennemariaf via Buzzfeed

• The Jim Carrey Climax

My friend had a sex dream where Jim Carrey turned into 'The Mask' when he climaxed.

- jasminw413ff8fe1via Buzzfeed

• The Peter Griffin Cackle

Seth MacFarlane and I were having hot sex, and instead of creating normal sex noises, he kept doing the Peter Griffin laugh. I need to stop watching Family Guy before going to bed.

- jaymerperkins via Buzzfeed

• The Taye Diggs Vampire Seduction

Taye Diggs came to one of my shows and afterward took me to his mansion. He proceeded to seduce me and turn me into a vampire because that was the only way he knew he could have me and keep me forever. He kept his glasses on the whole time, which was pretty impressive.

- skylaw via Buzzfeed

• The Kardashian Craigslist Ad

Kim Kardashian created a Craigslist ad to lick chocolate off of someone’s butthole in the middle of a packed arena, so I answered it. It was pretty bizarre.

- Sarah Megabubble via Buzzfeed

• The Nick Jonas Rinse Cycle

Nick Jonas and I were doing the nasty inside of a washing machine, in the middle of a white void. For some reason, there was a praying mantis watching us.

- fnovnie via Buzzfeed

• The Wacky Lady Gaga Wig

Once I had a super hot make out session with Lady Gaga on top of a chair. After we finished, she gave me her white wig and asked me to come back the next day.

- manga chan via Buzzfeed

• The Oprah Hot Tub Time Machine

Matthew McConaughey was a guest on The Oprah Winfrey Show and we did it backstage in his green room in a hot tub. Everyone who worked on the show, including Oprah, casually came in and out of the room.

- ginaf46f5a182b via Buzzfeed

• The Tosh.0 Beanie Baby Deal

In my dream I was an escort and 'knocked boots' (had sexual intercourse) with Daniel Tosh. He paid me in Beanie Babies.

- thirteenorchids via Buzzfeed

• The Meatloaf in the Creek

My first adult dream was with Meatloaf. The singer, not the food. We were in Dawson Leery’s bedroom from Dawson’s Creek. Pacey was sitting in the corner of the room, eating popcorn and watching a movie on the VCR.

- leahl4b1538a56 via Buzzfeed

• The Louis C.K. Carpet Burn

One night I got it on with Louis C.K. on my grandma’s carpet. It was really bumpy and awkward, and I eventually got carpet burn. When I woke up I tweeted him about it, but he never tweeted me back. It was a completely unsatisfying experience all around.

- Charlie P. Noble-Lawson, Facebook via Buzzfeed

• The Russell Brand Magic School Bus

Underneath a porch somewhere in rural Kentucky, I rescued kittens with my neighbor, Russell Brand. We took them and ran to a train that was passing by. The kittens somehow magically landed on the train, and then Russell turned into a woman. She was really pretty and invited me to sit on a park bench. We talked about washers and dryers, and then ended up making out on a school bus on our way to go have sex.

- 360d34th via Buzzfeed

• The Awkward Josh Peck Threesome

I had a dream where Josh Peck, my mom, and I had a threesome. I’m never going to sleep again.

- jenniferh4053ecf14 via Buzzfeed

• Supernatural Sex Injuries

I had a dream with Sam from Supernatural where he was super strong for some reason and so we were getting it on and he picked me up but accidentally tore my upper body from my lower. I remember distinctly making out with him, looking down and seeing my legs and organs on the floor and being supremely unconcerned about it.

- Brinnley Spencer via Buzzfeed comments

• A Bun in the Oven

I had one with Mads Mikkelsen who plays Hannibal Lecter WHILE he was Hannibal and he was laying on my chest and there were dogs barking in the distance for some reason. then he pulled a cake out of my belly button, but he was disappointed it hadn't finished baking yet, so he stuffed it back in.

- Zoe Lindgren via Buzzfeed comments

• Drake's Not Famous, but I'd Still Fuck Him 

I dream about having sex with Drake except he's not a celebrity. He's my boyfriend and to make up for his bad habit of cheating we have amazing sex all over our shitty apartment. I've had this dream like five times. Super weird.

- Aurea Sunshine via Buzzfeed comments

• Steven Tyler's Temple

I was trying to save my grandma from a cult and she gave me a note from Steven Tyler to come to a hidden temple. I assumed it was fake, so for some reason I couldn’t control my feet and skated inside where Steven Tyler was. He was like 'Oh hi, you’re the chick I’ve been looking for.' He told me to sit on his lap and we eventually made out (keep in mind I’ve had Steven Tyler dreams like this before, definitely not disappointed).

- katerip via Buzzfeed comments

• Bryan Cranston Secret Floor Sex

I had a dream that sunglasses were actually snacks and being served at a party and the flavor was determined by color, and the orange ones were cheesy. Anyway, at this party I hooked up with Bryan Cranston but we had to do it on the floor, not the bed because we didn’t want anyone to see us…

- mchaleannh via Buzzfeed comments

• Tea-Hating Deal Breaker

I had an extremely hot and heavy dream with Simon from Misfits. Was all going really well until he said he couldn’t continue as he doesn’t like tea. Which to be fair I wouldn’t want to continue either with someone who doesn’t like tea.

- Cuppalover via Buzzfeed comments

• Blue-Balling Jason Isaacs

I TURNED DOWN JASON ISAACS. And not creepy-Malfoy Isaacs either, but roughed-up Jackson Brodie Isaacs. We were in some pub and he was hitting on me but I knew it was only boredom because my mate had disappeared with his mate and we were mutually gooseberry’d; I decided I had more respect than to be his pity/bored-fuck. I wish to make it very clear that in real life I would have no such self-respect. Not even remotely.

- Bunle via Buzzfeed comments

• Campus Sex with Pete Wentz

I was sharing a room with Pete Wentz and Patrick Stump in college and I was making out one night with Pete and Patrick just walked in randomly with a rabbit on his fedora and casually sat down next to us and went on Twitter.

- zerozerozero via Buzzfeed comments

• David Lee Roth Gets Twice-Rapey

In the dream my friend was addicted to drinking grapefruit scented hand sanitizer and I desperately wanted to save him from himself. This lead me through a haunted house (cheaply run, it was the same person in different masks jumping out at me; I had to walk slowly and give him time to scamper to the next ScareSpot and change his mask - I was polite about it.) But when I got to the back of the house, modern-day-David Lee Roth was there sitting on a washer/dryer set and he insinuated that if I wanted to save my friend, he could help me, but I had to suck his cock. I don’t remember if I did it. I remember feeling terrified and disgusting.

There was another David Lee Roth one too, except I was his sex slave (not in a fun way) and he was feeding me pills, but I was only pretending to take them and he became enraged and threw me out of the house and it was night and raining and there were demon muppets on the lawn taunting me as I ran away naked.

- NewTerris via Buzzfeed comments

• Bieber the Stab-Happy Terrorist

I had a dream I was trapped by terrorists in a hotel with Justin Bieber. So naturally, we fell in love. Then while we made out in the hallway, he stabbed me. Turns out Justin Bieber was also a terrorist.

- emilypscully via Buzzfeed comments

• Liam Payne Causes Pain

I had a dream where I was going at it with Liam Payne and he lifted up my shirt and he carved his signature into my stomach with a knife.

- larrystylinsonaf via Buzzfeed comments

• Guy Fieri's Money Shot

I had one with Guy Fieri doing the Emeril 'bam' every time he did something he liked and saying 'that’s money' at the end. Last time I’ll ever fall asleep watching the Food Network.

- keelhaulrose2 via Buzzfeed comments

• One Direction Sloppy Seconds

I had a dream where I was dating Louis Tomlinson by the day. He’d take me out to really expensive country clubs and we’d have breakfast with the other boys (Liam, Niall, and Zayn) but then later, I was screwing Harry...Terrible but I’m not complaining.

- iahmad99 via Buzzfeed comments

• Kardashian Cock-Block

Before I met A$AP Rocky I didn’t think I would like him, but that was a really dumb thing to think. To call him 'swag' seems disparaging. His vibes are on a magical level that has permeated my subconsciousness. I had a dream that we saw each other at an after-party to my college reunion, even though that’s an unlikely scenario since I went to an all-women’s college. A$AP Rocky and I were talking and things were going well and I was thinking maybe we could go back to my hotel room, but then I remembered that earlier that day I had met the Kardashian sisters and they needed a place to stay during the reunion, and even though they were kind of annoying and I didn’t have anything in common with them because they are total 'lamestreamers', they were still nice and I wanted to be nice too so I told them they should stay with me. Stupid Kardashians ruined everything. 

- Shirley Braha via www.theawl.com

• Sopra-NO SEX

It was James Gandolfini, during the run of The Sopranos, and I thought he was really sexy, and I dreamt that he (as Tony, I think?) propositioned me in that office (was it at a car place?) and I said 'No', because I had a boyfriend. So, obviously, when I woke up I was really mad all day, because I could have had dream-sex with Tony Soprano instead of being dream-faithful to some guy I probably couldn’t pick out of a police lineup now. No! I remember, I was dating this guy, and he was a lot of fun. Still, should have dream-cheated with Tony Soprano, though. It was before he killed Adriana.

- Nicole Cliffe via theawl.com

• Deepak Chopra Make-up Sex

I dreamed I was in a long-term relationship with Deepak Chopra. We had a fight, one of those stupid fights you can’t even remember what started it, and then we made up and apologized, and then had sex. It was your standard base-running sequence, nothing too advanced. He was a very mindful lover. I actually woke up feeling pretty great about life. The next night, I had essentially the same dream but with the demon guy from that movie Legend. It was a less tender experience, but it got the job done.

- Jacob Clifton via theawl.com

• Pierce Brosnan's Vagina

I’ve only had one real celebrity sex dream (the closest to having a second one involved me settling a fight with Real Housewives of New York cast member Bethenny Frankel by shouting, 'Yeah, well, I’ve fucked Jon Hamm!' despite not actually having sex with Jon Hamm in the dream). It happened in junior year of high school, I think, and all I remember about it was that I was having sex with Pierce Brosnan in a hot tub. Except that he had a vagina. This is a pretty cut-and-dry case of my sexual confusion in my high-school years, but it’s particularly confusing because I have never cared much for Pierce Brosnan.

- Tyler Coates via theawl.com

• Doing It with Brooke Shields

The one that does come to mind was from about the same time as Ric Ocasek and I saved the planet, and it involved Brooke Shields. Not child-celebrity Brooke Shields, but contemporaneously-aged Brooke Shields, the one on Suddenly Susan. I’ve never had a crush on Brooke Shields, by the way, but in dreams you don’t get to pick. So in this dream, Brooke and I were just matter-of-fact seeing each other, in that way of dreams where the context gets zapped into your head and mutates throughout without you noticing. We had a residence that resembled a clubhouse (frequent dream feature) that you had to had to climb through a passageway and squeeze through a nearly-too-small tunnel to get into (another frequent feature). And there was a whole bunch of stuff going on that I don’t remember - other characters, a storyline - but Brooke and I Did It, in a bed of some sort, and when we were done Doing It the bed transmogrified into an open drawer of a chest-of-drawers. 

- Brent Cox via theawl.com

• Wanting the D from Damian

The one that sticks out in my brain for the sheer oddness of it is a dream featuring the rapper Everlast from House of Pain. Anyways. Everlast was a great kisser and tenderly held me in his giant, Popeye-post-spinach arms. That is all that I remember.

More recently, I had a dream where a mumblecore director was promising me a big role in his movie if I’d take my top off, and I was genuinely torn about this proposition, but my subconscious replaced him with Emmy-winning Damian Lewis, so I was almost about to say yes. Then I woke up.

- Elisabeth Donnelly via theawl.com

• Reptilian Sex

I had many amazing sex dreams with Galen Tyrol (especially the bearded/revolutionary version), which was embarrassing when I learned that he was a CYLON (I got over it, though).

- Matthew Gallaway via theawl.com

• Sex with my Gay Boss

At some point in 2010 I had a sex dream about Nick Denton. Nick, for those who do not already know, is the proprietor and self described 'gossip merchant' behind Gawker Media. He was once my boss. He is also gay. Nick’s sexuality is, of course, irrelevant, except for the fact that my sex dreams usually star heterosexual men...Here’s what I remember. Nick was throwing a party in his fancy Spring Street loft. At some point, the party turned into an orgy, and I realized that I was one of the few (maybe only) females in the room. There were dozens of naked, tumescent men. On couches. On rugs. On paneled floors. On the kitchen counter, where the champagne flutes usually go. It was a sort of frenzy! (Not to mention decadent and ominous. Think Fritz Lang meets Ayn Rand meets Stanley Kubrick.) I mean, it was a fucking horror show.

Speaking of fucking; somehow, I found myself having sex with Nick. (I realize that the phrase 'found myself having sex' suggests that I lacked agency or purpose, and that is both true and untrue. You know how dreams are). Words were not exchanged; glances not given (Foreplay? Forget it). One second Nick Denton was naked in front of me and the next, Nick Denton was naked inside of me.  Not only did I not wake up, I enjoyed it...as much as one can enjoy the missionary position with an emotionally unavailable, vagina-averse boss, that is. Then it ended. I don’t recall whether or not he climaxed. I’m pretty sure I didn’t. And no, I don’t remember how big his penis was or what it looked like. Just that it worked. That’s enough, right?

- Anna Holmes via theawl.com

• Exchanging Body Fluids with John Waters

Years ago I dreamed I was having sex with a beautiful woman who turned into John Waters. I have no idea how it happened - he just sort of materialized where the woman had been - but I do remember that it startled me far less than it probably should have considering that: 1. I’m not gay, and 2. I don’t think I’d want to have sex with John Waters were I gay. 

- Cord Jefferson via theawl.com

• Bon Jovi's Hairy Bush

I dreamed that I was making out and getting into some intense body contact with Gene Siskel. It was years after he died.

Also, as an extremely confused gay pubescent Jersey boy, I once dreamed that Jon Bon Jovi walked up to me in a trench coat, opened it to reveal a woman’s body (and extremely hairy bush) and sang, 'Lay your hands on me!' a few times. My mom’s friend had a similar haircut and I think I was conflating them in my head (in the way that you’ll have a dream where one person is meant to be another person and even though it makes no sense, you get the symbolism). I got the feeling that her bush was really hairy, too.

- Rich Juzwiak via theawl.com

• Star Trek Sex

I don’t like to kiss and tell, and I’m not saying things even got that hot and heavy, but let’s just say that I once dreamt that Captain Picard and I had a very intense evening where we drank some Château Margaux and ate foie gras and Brillat-Savarin via the replicator. We looked out at the stars of a new galaxy. And we read poetry to each other (he is a big fan of Paul Celan). And then Jean-Luc played his flute for me, and I played my viola for him...

- Thessaly La Force via theawl.com

• Spandex Sex with Peeping Tom

So there was this girl and we hit it off huge, getting all our own jokes and talking for hours and stuff but it didn’t go anywhere. For her, anyway. Me, I was in deep. She went on with her life and I was stuck. I started dreaming about her. Not dirty, just prosaic moments, like we’d go to the grocery store and buy broccoli, or we’d be driving in a car someplace. Then my dream-brain got bored. We were in a fancy health club, a gym, with glass panels and chrome and me and my non-girlfriend were gonna work out. We were wearing gym clothes like the ’80s, Olivia Newton-John and Jane Fonda, argh, headbands, like that movie Perfect with John Travolta and Jamie Lee Curtis? I never even saw that movie. Then my friend, who was a girl, stopped being herself and she was Susan Anton. I don’t even know what she was famous for. Susan fucking Anton, jeez. Anyway, we were perspiring heavily from being in my health-club dream and she was wearing a headband and pulled down my pants and I pushed on up into Susan Anton, somehow - I don’t remember dealing with the shiny fuchsia spandex - and I was steady smearing her sweaty Susan Anton ass all over one of the windows to the exercise rooms where rows of people were doing aerobics and then I lost it, big time, while looking at Susan Anton’s giant teeth and forehead and as I was coming down, I noticed there was this giant face of the actor Martin Landau and he/it had been watching us the whole time.

- Joe Macleod via theawl.com

• Getting it on with Madonna

The most ridiculous celebrity that I ever had sex with in a dream was Madonna. Now, it didn’t start out as a sex dream. As a homosexual of a certain age and persuasion, I often have dreams that I’m hanging out with Madonna, just being her friend or starring in her latest tour as a dancer (there are always astounding outfits involved) so that didn’t seem weird. But then one day I dreamed that we were backstage and hanging out and she was getting all up in my grill and I was like, 'Wow, Madonna thinks I’m her best friend'. And then she got even closer and then I was like, 'Damn, Madonna wants to have sex with me'. Now, as a homosexual of a certain age and persuasion, I can not say 'no' to anything Madonna demands, so I did it. It wasn’t half bad. Though she looked like 'Express Yourself' Madonna, not the grizzled pterodactyl-hand Madonna that we see now.

- Brian Moylan via theawl.com

• Bruce is a Jealous Motherfucker!

So it’s me and Bruce Springsteen, whose music I’ve never really listened to much and who I’ve never thought of in a sexual way, driving around New Jersey in an old red pickup truck - he says he’s showing me '(His) New Jersey'. Then, we go to a bed and breakfast, the architectural details of which I remember to a personally disturbing degree, and do it. I won’t get into it, but it’s whatever my dream brain thought was 'tantric'.

After, as I lie on a quaint yellow-and-white quilt, Naked Bruce Springsteen picks up a convenient guitar from his sudden perch on a nearby wooden chair, strums a bit, and asks: 'Any requests?'

And I say: 'Ummm, er, oh! ‘Well we’re living here in Allen-townnnn''.

Bruce stops me with his falling face, which falls with a complete disappointment I’ve never wanted to see in life, much less a celebrity sex dream.

'That’s…the other guy! That’s not me! That’s THE OTHER GUY!' Bruce sputters.

Me: 'Oh yes! The other guy! B-b-b-b-b- there’s also an ‘L’!'

Bruce (a.k.a. my brain): 'Billy. Joel. It’s Billy Joel'.

And then Bruce is gone, but there are tickets to his show under the door. And that’s how the dream ended: with VIP tickets under the door. I don’t remember going. I guess I woke up. What a jealous motherfucker!

- Lindsay Robertson via theawl.com

• A Quickie with Reagan!

I’ve only really had one celebrity sex dream in my whole life, and to talk about it at length invites way too much speculation into my sad and pitiful psychological makeup. But I was young, and probably on drugs. So yes, in this dream, I was picked up by the Secret Service and taken to a terrible dark basement, where I had a nice chat with Ronald Reagan and then a few minutes of terrific sex. And it wasn’t like, young Reagan either; it was present-day Reagan. Wow, this says horrible things about me. I remember waking up shouting: 'WHAT THE HELL?' at my brain. Anyway, this dream was so (reasonably!) scarring that: 1. I can still remember it 25 years later and also 2. I haven’t had a sex dream about a person that I don’t know since.

- Choire Sicha via theawl.com

• Matt Damon Gets a Half-Hearted Hand Job

I had a really involved, overly long, haggling-for-sex dream about Matt Damon that ended in me convincing the Oscar-winner to be on the receiving end of half-hearted hand job. Then another time there was some butt stuff with a former child actor that I’m not emotionally prepared to discuss. 

- Natasha Vargas-Cooper via theawl.com

• Finger-banged by Hitler

An ex of mine once had a vivid dream in which she was fingerbanged by Hitler in the back row of seats in a Greyhound bus. She said his fingernails were disgusting. 
-Jfruh via theawl.com

• Unimpressive Fountain Sex

I once dreamed I was having sex with Viggo Mortensen in the Trevi Fountain, which sounds kind of great but I wasn't even into it in the dream, I was like: 'Ugh this baroque carving is hurting my hands'.
- Mollycule via theawl.com

• Hot Gender-Swap Sex

Gosh, I have such a good one. A few years ago had a dream that I (a female IRL) was Scott Baio and I was having sex with Michelle Pfeiffer (both circa 1980) in a kitchen. One of my most memorable dreams...ever. It was hot.
- Tunes via theawl.com

• Body Politics with Mayor Bloomberg

My most embarrassing is definitely the dream in which Mayor Bloomberg and I were in a long-term, serious relationship. He admitted he was embarrassed to be seen with me because I was too young for him, and I yelled at him that I was the one who should be embarrassed, since I would never want anyone to know I was dating a Republican. Once I dreamed that Angelina Jolie and I were hiding together in a cupboard, but sadly, nothing happened.

- Charlotte Flaz via theawl.com

• James Marsden's Exploding Penis Risk

Scott Patterson in a swimming pool! He was definitely wearing flannel and a backwards baseball hat. But my best celebrity sex dream didn't have a celebrity and the sex was implied. I was dating a guy who looked like but wasn't James Marsden, and he was pregnant. I don't know if it was mine, but I remember thinking in my dream that his penis would probably explode during labour.
- heyderpette via theawl.com

• Jimi Gets Her all Wet and in a Lather

In high school I had a sex dream about Jimi Hendrix in a bubble bath. I knew it was a dream because he had his guitar and didn't get electrocuted.
- Amphora via theawl.com

• A Threeway with the Nixons

I once dreamt I was having a three-way with Richard and Pat Nixon and even in my dream I was disturbed by how into it I was. I was really, really into it.

- Lord Hennyson via theawl.com

• Jack's Still Got It!

My weirdest one was a few nights ago...It was...wait for it...Jack Nicholson. JACK NICHOLSON. Like what the hell was going on in my subconscious brain?!? When I woke up I was happy but creeped out at the same time. He's literally the exact same age as my grandpa...At least it was the 40 something version of Jack...
- Soph via theawl.com

• Johnny Knoxville Breeds Bat-Monsters

OK, so first it was Daniel Tosh from Tosh.O. It was mostly us sitting around his house, making jokes, but he thought I was really funny and it was mostly flirting.

Then, it was the guy from John Tucker Must Die, Jesse Metcalfe. That was a weirder one, where we were going to sneak off to have sex at a party, but then I was conflicted because I have a boyfriend, (which I do in real life), so I ended up taking a sexy shower in front of a room full of police officers (weird I know).

Then the third was with Johnny Knoxville. He was telling me how he just got this girl pregnant, which turned out to be a weird bat-monster that she birthed, and then he proceeded to give me oral sex...

- Anonymous via emandlo.com

• Flirty Fisher

My oddest has got to be when the guy I had fancied for ages, and was getting it on with in the car, turned into Donald Fisher from Home and Away!! 

- sharonthewaspandthewineywall via mumsnet.com

• Windowsill Fucking with Mr Bean

I once dreamed I had sex with Rowan Atkinson on a windowsill. It was very bizarre.

- Sidge via mumsnet.com

• Bisexual Domestic Infidelities 

My weirdest ones will have to be:

Gordon Ramsay - on a windowsill

Perry Cox (Scrubs) - up a wall

Holly Willoughby - on my kitchen worktop 

In each dream I was pregnant and [my partner] walked in on me cheating on him.

- Jellybelly701 via mumsnet.com

• Getting Sweaty with LLB

A sweaty Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen on a kitchen table. Argh!

- WoweeZowee via mumsnet.com

• Ed Milliband is a Good Shag

Ed Milliband - the worst thing was that I dreamt he was a really good shag!! 

- LiviaDruscillaAugusta via mumsnet.com

• He's Lovin' It!

Ronald McDonald. I shit you not!

- VashtaNerada via mumsnet.com

• Dan Ackroyd's Ectoplasm

I had one last night about Dan Aykroyd circa Ghostbusters. Dan fucking Aykroyd!

- WeAreGroot via mumsnet.com

• Given the D by Gove

[I am] severely traumatised by a dream where I was 'intimate' with MICHAEL GOVE!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaargh - it was weeks ago and I still shudder!!!

-Singaporefling via mumsnet.com

• Getting a Sexy Rub-Down from Lineker

Pregnancy is doing horrible things to me. 

Tom Hanks - not young, vaguely attractive Tom Hanks, but old, scary-wig-from-The DaVinci Code-Tom Hanks.

Erotic physiotherapy with Gary Lineker *boak*

Oh, and a steamy shower with Willem Dafoe. Weirdly/horrifyingly, that one's stuck and I simultaneously fancy him/am disgusted with myself. Hoping it wears off soon!

- Bigoldsupermoon via mumsnet.com

• Nicholas Cage is a Massive Masochist

A couple of nights ago I dreamed I hooked up with Nicholas Cage, and he turned out to be a gigantic masochist and I kept trying to hurt him as much as he wanted, but he just didn't feel ANYTHING, no matter how hard I hit him with a paddle and it was very frustrating.

- showbiz_liz via metafilter.com

• Patricia Arquette's Impatient for Sex

I guess this technically isn't a sex dream, but...before I lost my virginity I had a dream where Patricia Arquette (who was, like, totally into me) and I were trying to find a private spot to have sex, and every time we were about to get to it we were interrupted by something or someone and had to move on. After this happened a bunch of times she lost interest and left.

- The Card Cheat via metafilter.com

• Disappointing Barrel-Sex with John Cleese

John Cleese. At his current age. In a giant barrel by a crossroads. But I only got the 'we have just done this' part, not the actual deed, which in retrospect is a bitter disappointment. Take me back, John!

- darksasami via metafiler.com

• Eco-Friendly Sex Scene with Lohan

I co-starred in a movie with Lindsay Lohan about rescuing very small killer whales a few nights ago. It was nothing at all like sex.

- ChuraChura via metafiler.com

• Morphing Lesbian Sex with Sigourney

As a straight woman...I have had only one sex dream with a celebrity and it was Sigourney Weaver. It started off as her Ripley persona, but at the end she morphed into her evil stepmother character. I am still not sure how I feel about that.

- subject_verb_remainder via metafilter.com

• Willard was Well Hard

I had a sex dream involving Fred Willard. There's not really anything I can say to make that statement less awful, is there? Oh, there was also the dream in which Thora Birch showed me her vagina dentata. Not in a sexual way, just: 'hey, look at this thing I have'.

- pxe2000 via metafilter.com

• King Kong Ding Dong

My first celebrity crush that I remember to this day was Jessica Lange in King Kong (1976) and this monkey FELL HARD. I had the dream sometime after that because I was 7 in 1976 and even this monkey's hormones weren't THAT precocious, so was probably a couple of years later. It was a weird dream because it took place in my bedroom, which confused the fuck out of me when I woke up. But in the dream, I get up out of bed, walk to my closet, open the gate-fold doors and BAM!...nekkid Jessica Lange in my closet with an inviting smile on her face. BOO-YAA!

I remember thinking 'I'm supposed to drop to my knees and kiss her between the legs'. But when I do, I'm confronted by 3 boot-brushes hanging on the wall like some abstract art vagina.

Stand up, smiling Jessica Lange. Kneel down, boot-brushes. Iterate 2 or 3 times, wake up, walk to the closet...and be not sure if I was disappointed JL wasn't there, or glad that there were no boot-brushes on the wall.

- Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey via metafilter.com

• Paper Lantern Penis

I don't know if this counts a sex dream, but I did dream once that I was in a cafeteria with Galen Tyrol, and he whipped out his penis. Or rather, it mostly looked like a penis, but was the size, shape, and consistency of an elongated paper lantern. No dangly pieces, though. He poked it against a piece of furniture, and it even collapsed like a paper lantern. Then, the Chief called me 'so very, very loose'!

- Coatlicue via metafilter.com

• Zuckerberg's Ringpiece 

Mark Zuckerberg (played by Jesse Eisenberg in-dream) and I were engaged to be married. We had sex in my office and then he handed me two gallon sized Ziplocs, one full of cocaine and the other full of weed, in lieu of an engagement ring...I was pretty pleased with the deal.

Much better than the time I dreamt Stanley from The Office was begging to perform oral sex on me. 

- peacrow via metafilter.com

• 'I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Woman'

I had a dream shortly after Bill Clinton was elected that we had sex in the back of a limo, but afterward I was all sad and disillusioned because I admired him so much.

- JoanArkham via metafilter.com

• Dusty Warehouse Sex with Clive Owen

Clive Owen. In a warehouse. With benefits. But I was mostly worried about how dusty everything was and couldn't really relax.

- biscotti via metafilter.com

• Angry Sex with Matt Smith

I once dreamed I was secretly married to Matt Smith, only he kept lying to the press about it. We had a lot of awesome angry sex over the issue, though.

- PhoBWanKenobi via metafilter.com

• Missing Out on Freaky Magical Sex

Oh man, I just remembered my super embarrassing yet awesome dream wherein Alexander Skarsgard and I both inherited an equal share of a Nordic B&B that was also a dragon preserve and there were many stupid romcom shenanigans and a lot of community judgement for my apparent lack of magical skills, and lots of pep talks and consolations from friendly baby dragons...Eventually he and I were about to have a lot of freaky magical sex and then I woke up feeling hugely disappointed and betrayed by my psyche and by the universe in general.

Also there was a moment of extreme panic when I realized I did not know how to properly prepare preserved whale tongue for the hungry guests at the B&B.

Oh yeah and once I [had a sex dream] that me and Tom Hardy were vampire space hookers that were naturally also intergalactic spies. 

- elizardbits via metafilter.com

• Spurned by Rik Mayall

My crushes (celebrity and otherwise) only show up in my dreams to reject me. Luckily, it doesn't happen often, but that is what inevitably takes place. In one dream, Rik Mayall made fun of me for being attracted to him, and even in the dream state I thought: subconscious, please, am I really being spurned by Rik Mayall? 

- Countess Elena via metafilter.com

• Getting a 'Wonderful' Tonguing from Mark E Smith

I had a wonderful dream where I was asked to fill in on drums for The Fall and Mark E Smith ended up sucking away on my ear and neck with his toothless gums and lizard tongue.

- kittensofthenight via metafilter

• Supermodel Orgy - Access Denied!

I once read somewhere that Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell shared a suite (along with their entourage) when they visited Rio (or it might have been another city), and they called a dealer who delivered a huge bag of blow. Supposedly as soon as they paid him for the coke, they basically pushed him out the door.

So a week later I dreamt I was with them during that encounter, and the three of us went into the bathroom and were snorting up huge rails, making out ravenously and groping each other, on the verge of having sex. Then I woke up abruptly. Biggest anti-climax of my life. I tried so hard to go back to sleep and continue the dream, sadly to no avail.

- Devils Slide via metafilter.com

• Obama Sex Drama

I had a sex dream with Bill Clinton back in the 1990s (I was kind of shocked. I have never thought of myself as the kind of woman who is attracted to politicians. I'm much more likely to want to throw rotting vegetables at them); and then in about 2010 I had one starring Barack Obama. They were fairly similar, but in the second one we sat on the edge of the bed afterwards and agonized about Michelle. 'I can't believe I did this'  I said despondently 'I really love her'. 'So do I' agreed Barack 'We should never speak of this again'.

Sex dream complete with guilt. Can't beat it.

- mygothlaundry via metafilter.com

• Mouth Rape

I dreamed I was raped in the mouth by James Earl Jones in my Maidenform bra.

- Anonymous via datalounge.com

• Regular Rim Jobs

I have had dreams of rimming Mark-Paul Gosselaar. Often.

- Anonymous via datalounge.com

• Hot and Steamy Shower Sex

I dreamt that Brian Williams was in my shower (not my real shower, but the dream took place at my house). When he began to masturbate, I got upset because friends were supposed to show up. 

- Anonymous via datalounge.com

• Bangs in the Closet

After crushing hard on Dominic Monaghan for three seasons on Lost (I like short, weird-looking guys, what can I say?), I had a dream about him, that we had sex in the closet in my parents' bedroom in the house I grew up in.

- Anonymous via datalounge.com

• Bradley Cooper's Tiny Black Boxer Shorts

Bradley Cooper. He lived in a dingy apartment. and was wearing nothing but tiny black boxer shorts. I knocked on the door and he let me in and we had a convo in his living-room before we fucked.

- Anonymous via datalounge.com

• The Only Time Anyone Ever Dreams of Sex with Piers Morgan

I was watching Ryan Seacrest going up into Simon Cowell while Piers Morgan was going down on Cowell.

- Anonymous via datalounge.com

• Tom Hanks Nightmare Sex

I once had a nightmare about having sex with Tom Hanks. I've never found him even remotely attractive and I remember being very disturbed by the nightmare the next day wondering what it could possibly have meant.

- Anonymous via datalounge.com

• Melissa Rivers Strap-on Dream Fuck

Melissa Rivers fucking me with a strap-on.

- Edgar Rosenberg via datalounge.com

• Trolling with Heath Ledger

Heath Ledger and me were in a public restroom giving each other a hand job. When we finished he wanted to stay trolling, but I dragged him out and we got on a plane piloted by his father.

- Anonymous via datalounge.com

• Burt Reynolds Wet Dream

When I was 13 I had a wet dream about having sex with Burt Reynolds. I believe a weight bench was involved.

- Anonymous via datalounge.com

• Hate-Fucked by Mitt Romney

Got hate-fucked/raped by Mitt Romney in a dream once. It was really hot.

- Anonymous via datalounge.com

• Nick Adams is a Dirty Aggressive Bottom

I went to the final performance of Priscilla Queen of the Desert, on Broadway, and fell in love with Nick Adams, the actor who plays Adam/Felicia. That night I dreamed that he was a dirty, aggressive bottom, and I matched him move for move with my dominant top performance. I specifically remembered how his muscled ass grabbed my cock as I fucked him. I also remember how filthy our language was, and how he met every challenge I made.

- Anonymous via datalounge.com

• M*A*S*H*-Smash

I once had a sex dream where I had a threeway with Alan Alda and Mike Farrell. I had been watching a lot of M*A*S*H* at the time.

- Anonymous via datalounge.com

• Jake Gyllenhaal Likes it Raw in Public Libraries

I had a dream that I fucked Jake Gyllenhaal raw in the New York Public Library. I have never been attracted to Jake Gyllenhaal in real life, so I have no idea why he starred in one of my sex dreams. And the NYPL thing was just weird.

- Anonymous via datalounge.com

• Marlon Brando Likes Black Cock

I had a dream I was in a three-some with Marlon Brando and Wally Cox. Brandon told me he preferred black cock but he got a passing grade. Wally had a really tight hole with amazing sphincter control.

- Eldergay via datalounge.com

• Pete Sampras Serves it up HOT

Only two come to mind -

My first was with Pete Sampras, the tennis player. This was back in 1990 or 1991 when he first came to attention. I had a dream that we were hanging out together, and he lowered his shorts and spread his legs apart, and encouraged me to go down on him. I was amazed by the meat hanging between his thighs. That's when I first knew I liked guys.

The other one I remember was a few months ago. I was in the hospital for knee surgery and Timothy Olyphant came to pick me up, wearing his cowboy hat. He brought me home, put me to bed, then undressed and slid next to me under the covers. He started to stroke my cock while he was kissing my neck and sucking my nipples. I begged him to go down on me, but woke up before he did.

- Anonymous via datalounge.com

• Vampire Necro-Sexing

I had a Vampire Diaries based dream where Elena was dead and her brother had his first male/male sex with a hot Indian guy in the bedroom across from his sister's dead body.

- Anonymous via datalounge.com

• Mall Sex

I have reoccurring sex dreams about the 20-something version of actor Bud Cort (Harold & Maude). Sometimes, he's himself in the dreams. Other times, he's various characters that he's played in that era. In one dream, I get it on with him in the dressing room of a mall! I must admit, I truly enjoy every one of these dreams.

- Court via datalounge.com

• Mr T the Big Cockblocker!

I was 5 years old when Romancing the Stone, starring Kathleen Turner, was in theatres. It must have made quite an impression on me because, while I do not remember seeing the film, I distinctly remember attempting to kiss my mother’s friend Marge (who also happened to be the nurse who had delivered me) at my family’s dining room table a short while after having seen the film. As the beginnings of a man’s sexual exploration go, it was less than auspicious. I can’t say for certain that Romancing the Stone burrowed its way into my subconscious but, given my immediate reaction to the film, it is likely that Turner hid out in the crevices of my imagination for years, waiting for the perfect moment to spring out and upend my life. That moment, as it turned out, would take place several years later, when I was 14 and Turner appeared as the object of my affections in what is far and away the most unsettling sex dream I have ever had.

Given the hulking mass of testosterone Turner would later become, the dream seems especially disturbing in retrospect but, in my mind’s eye, Dream Turner was sultry and alluring, not at all unlike her character in Romancing the Stone. We found ourselves entangled on a bench, in my high school’s boys’ locker room. I have no idea if one has anything to do with the other but, at the time, I was in danger failing PE, due largely to my refusal to change into gym clothes. In the dream, I was aware of the surroundings and troubled by the fact that we were in the locker room. If Mr Wheeler found me, there would be no talking myself out of that 'F'. Unless! Maybe he would be incredibly impressed that I was clumsily groping at THE Kathleen Turner, and announce that, not only was I going to ace PE, I was henceforth exempt from any strenuous athletic activity of any kind, on school grounds or elsewhere. 'To the victor goes the spoils, Anderson' he would say, 'and I can think of no greater victory than humping all over Kathleen Turner, here in the musty darkness of the Prairie High School Boys Locker Room'. Probably that is how it would play out. But no time to think about Mr Wheeler and the ramifications of my conquest! I was Big-Time Frenching all over Turner’s face and things were about to get Adult Sexy. Kathleen Turner was not some repressed-and-conflicted schoolgirl who wanted to rebel against her parents, but not so much that she risked getting pregnant. No. Kathleen Turner was a woman, and I was a man, and we were going to have Adult Sex.

Unfortunately, our passionate careen towards Adult Sex was interrupted when a diminutive, muscular figure emerged from the shadows of the locker room showers (fully clothed, thank God), and asked me point-blank, 'Whatchoo doin’?' It was Mr T. Were it not enough for my pubescent mind to grapple with the fact that I was engaged in a dreamtryst with a woman nearly thrice my age (lovely though she may have been in Prizzi’s Honor), I now had to grapple with the appearance of another childhood entertainment touchstone, B.A. Baracus. (The 'B.A.' stood for 'Bad Attitude', you’ll remember.) In my dream (and probably in the recesses of whatever consciousness I could muster at the time), I feared the worst; that Mr T would ingratiate himself into the affair and monopolize Turner’s affections. I could not have this; I needed to head him off at the pass. To the best of my recollection, this is how the dialogue played out.

Dream Kasey: We’re together.

Dream Mr T: Cool.

Dream Kasey: She’s with me.

Dream Mr T: I know that, fool! You just said that!

Dream Kasey: Why are you here?

Dream Mr T: Congratulations!

Dream Kasey: OK

Dream Mr T began to walk away, then wheeled around and shouted, 'HEY!' at which point I awoke, horrified, disappointed, and completely perplexed. What the hell would have happened after 'HEY?'

I guess I’ll never know and, as neither Turner nor Mr T would ever appear in one of my dreams again, I am left to ponder which psychological childhood knots I was trying to untangle by dreaming up a scenario in which B.A. Baracus put an end to my dalliance with Matty Walker. It plagues me to this day.

- Kasey Anderson via crushable.com

• Freddy Krueger's Underage Fuckbuddy

The first was when I was about 9 years old, and I dreamt I was in a giant warehouse that was completely empty, save for a gold canopy bed. My friend Lauren had a canopy bed, and I always associated it with romantic notions of princesses and love. In my dream, I was lying on the bed with Smithers from The Simpsons. Even at that early age, I remember thinking how weird it was: not because a cartoon character was undressing me, but because he was a gay cartoon character. This must have been after the 'Malibu Stacy' episode, where the sexuality of Mr Burns’ assistant is not so subtly revealed when Smithers boots up his computer. Not much happened with that scenario…even in my fantasy, Waylon Smithers was squeamish; refusing to take off his underwear. We probably dry-humped for a while, or did whatever a child’s dream interpretation of dry-humping was. I think it was influenced as much by Cool World as The Simpsons, but I woke up feeling vaguely disappointed that even in my dreams, (cartoon) (gay) men were repulsed by me.

My sexual subconscious manifested itself again about a year later in the form of a reoccurring dream. Bear with me here, because this one is even stranger: once every couple of months, I would dream of a woman all dressed in black and wearing a dark veil over her face would appear in my room. She’d never speak, but would just point to the area under my bed, where I could climb between my floorboards and descend into another world, where the earth was on fire and the sky full of bright stars. Freddy Krueger would be waiting there to court me.

I’m talking 'court me' in the medieval sense. He had a castle (on fire), and flying horses (not on fire), and could make himself look like Brad Pitt. Why Brad Pitt? I have no idea. I didn’t even really know who Brad Pitt was, except that he and Tom Cruise were supposed to be every little girl’s fantasy.

Freddy Krueger would always offer me the same deal: stay with him in the dream world, and I would live as his queen. Anything I could imagine would be mine, and Freddy could change his appearance to look like whomever I wanted (which at that time happened to be Jeff Goldblum from Jurassic Park). The only condition was that every so often, we would have to go catch some teenagers in their dreams and then scare them to death. Kind of like how Geena Davis and Alec Baldwin tried to scare off Winona Rider's family in Beetlejuice.

It actually sounded kind of fun. In my dreams, Freddy and I got along great: we shared a hated teenagers (babysitters, mostly), had the same ironic sense of humor, and liked to scare the shit out of people (in the real world, I had been known to lock my little sister in the basement after she had inadvertently seen Poltergeist on TV; an air vent leading from my room to right behind basement’s television made it very easy to convince a 6 year old that her sister had been sucked into a ghostly dimension). Freddy and I were a match made in hell, obviously.

But every time I had this dream I would demur his offer. God knows why: to this day I still think I would have made an awesome Mrs Freddy Krueger. And Freddy, always the gentleman, would sadly lie me down on his nightmare chariot, and kiss me all over. (and by all over, I mainly mean my tummy). Then he would gently pick me up with his hands - fun fact: Freddy only has knives for fingers when he is trying to kill you - and pull me back into the waking world, promising that he’d be back soon to ask to marry me again.

I had that dream consistently until I was around 13 years old. Then the dreams stopped, and I haven’t had one since. It was a sad end to my childhood, like when Wendy got too old to fly to Never-Never Land. The really weird part though, was that it wasn’t until I was in college that I ever actually saw the movie A Nightmare on Elm Street.

- Drew Grant via crushable.com

• Angelina Jolie's Misshapen Penis Clit

Fuck, I had the worst dream last night. Angelina Jolie was in my house, sitting on a chair in my living room. She looked all concerned. I asked her what was up, so she pulled down her pants and had some misshapen penis seemingly an extension of her clit. I asked her if she could jerk it, and she did, so this red ooze came out and curled up next to her misshapen red penis. it looked like dark red wet twizzlers. She cried, saying it was all wrong, and I woke up.

- CookieMancer via kingdomofloathing.com

• Crispy Vagina

Ok, I once had a straight dream that Sandra Kerns (Charles in Charge) asked me to insert a cheese crisp somewhere crisps don't belong!
- Imelda Matt via itwasfunnyinmyhead.blogspot.co.uk

• Sexy Blood Bed

I fucked Jessica Alba in a bed surrounded by blood.

- f3ralanarchy via okcupid.com

• Tryna Nail Bette Midler

The only celebrity I can remember is this one time I was trying to nail Bette Midler. Fortunately, people kept interrupting us, so it never happened. I have no idea why it angered me so. They were saving me.
- Least Impressive via rottentomatoes.com

• Hu's a Whore?

I had another with Kelly Hu giving me oral. She was Martin Lawrence's girlfriend in the dream and we were messing around in his apartment without him knowing.
- Viscious Voodoo via rottentomatoes.com

• Helen Mirren Incest Threeway

I don't even know how many females I had sex with in this dream, but one of them was Helen Mirren. I had a threeway with her and her daughter.
- Christopher256G via rottentomatoes.com

Disclaimer

I recently saw an article on Buzzfeed about 'Celebrity Sex Dream Nightmares' and thought this would be the perfect topic for a post. I could of course have just linked my audience to the Buzzfeed article, but given Buzzfeed recycles material/content from other online sources/social media, I thought I would make my own post tailored for my readers and re-written in a way suitable for my Blog. Therefore, where the original source is known, I have cited it appropriately. I have also done my own research in order to select and add some supplementary content to my post.

Dream 560

'It's the Court Radio'

Dream date: 6 February 2016

Scene 1: Domestic Interior - Night
I was in a domestic interior which was my home in the dream - so it felt familiar to me. It seemed to be a location which was a composite between my former childhood home (Pine Grove, Sheringham) and my parents' flat above my Mum's workplace - as well as a much larger building with a lot of corridors. These corridors/hallways had a number of rooms leading off and a number of dream characters - some known, some not known - were wandering around the hallways and going in and out of other rooms. One of these dream characters was a blonde-haired white male who was dressed in urban clothing. He appeared to be a composite between KK and SN - two hip hop artists from London, both of whom are on my Facebook Friends. I was referring to him as KK, although I identified him as being more like SN. I said: 'KK!' and he turned around to speak to me. I was keen for him to stay in the house.

I was with EH and he was staying over. We decided to go to a large bedroom and try to sleep. EH had a mobile phone with him - a smartphone, which had a screen which was permanently lit up very brightly. The room we chose to sleep in was very similar to my parents' room in my former childhood home, but much bigger. We tried to sleep, but soon were awoken by EH's phone. We couldn't work out what the noise from the phone was - it wasn't an incoming call or text. I left the room - annoyed at having been disturbed - and went to the top of the stairs, looking down at the ground floor hallway. This was a location from my former childhood home - I could recognise it was being similar to real-life. My stepdad was standing in the hallway at the bottom of the stairs, holding a pint glass of beer. He said (in reference to the noise from EH's phone): 'It's the court radion interfering'. This meant - the signals from the law court's radio station was interfering with the mobile signal and transmitting through the phone. I accepted this explanation. My stepdad said that EH and I should come downstairs and socialise. 

We went down to the lounge - this was a room which I cannot identify from real-life - it was a dream-invented room. The lights in the room were very bright and there were a number of people there - some of my family, some dream characters. One of these was EH's uncle, who was visiting. He was a black male who had blue makeup on his face - circular shapes on his forehead and cheeks. He was wearing a tall, rectangular embroidered red hat and was dancing around the room in a strange way. My Mum (seated on one of a number of sofas in this room) said: 'EH's uncle is a guest and you must respect him'. Everyone was watching the uncle dance around. I thought this was all a massive disturbance, given it was late at night and I wanted to sleep. EH did not seem impressed either. There was some conversation which I cannot recall - it took place in this room. At one point I went to the doorway and saw a number of male dream characters walking down the hall. I shouted: 'KK!' and he turned around. I said: 'Are you staying?' to which he replied that they (the males) were, they were just going into another room. 

My Mum then showed me an object - it isn't something I can describe, other than saying it looked like a child's mobile (the item you hang above a crib/cot which may play lullabies to calm a baby at bedtime, or attract their attention). It was made of tangled wire and had a lot of blue sapphires hanging from it (note that it did not look like the image I have included below, which is well-designed, simple and elegant - the object in the dream was messy and had sharp, jagged corners). My Mum said: 'It washed up on the beach from Jon Venables' (see the Dream Information section below for information). I was very interested in the fact the object was linked to Jon Venables in some way and wanted to discuss this further. I wondered if this was linked to the 'court radio' incident earlier. I did not wonder this out loud, but my Mum answered my thoughts by saying: 'That's why the court are transmitting radio waves...' 

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

TIME: 18:00 - 23:00 hours (I woke up from this dream)

LUCIDITY: NO

SPECIAL NOTES: NONE OF NOTE

Dream Information:

• In February 1993, 2 year old James Bulger was abducted from a shopping centre in Liverpool and taken on a long walk culminating in his torture and murder on train tracks by 2 10-year old boys, Robert Thompson and Jon Venables. The murder investigation that followed took the initial stance that the killers must be adult given the gravity of the offence. CCTV images from the shopping centre and elsewhere identified that the killers were young children and intelligence eventually led the police to make arrests. The case was so highly controversial because (a) the age of the offenders; (b) the fact they were apparently influenced to torture/kill a baby by watching the Child's Play movies (the victim was maimed in a similar way as Chucky in the third movie - covered in blue paint and on a train track); (c) the brutality of the crime which was beyond anyone's expectation of young children; (d) the fact the defendants were tried as adults in Crown Court and then named/shown in the media (not usually done with child offenders); (e) the 'moral panic' which followed in the media, politics and society - leading to a strong vigilante response (members of public vowed to hunt down the boys and kill them); (f) anonymity orders and new identities given to the offenders to protect their right to life - the precise details of the crimes are not in the public domain as a result of the injunctions, meaning we will probably never gain insight into why this offence took place; (g) the fact the case led to dramatic changes in the law - the power to set tariffs for mandatory life sentences and detention during HM pleasure were removed from the Home Secretary, who had used public opinion and political influence in fulfilling what should be an independent, unbiased judicial function; Parliament abolished the presumption of doli incapax - the presumption a child between 10 - 13 years old is not criminally responsible unless it could be shown they knew their act was seriously wrong; and the judicial creation of a contra mundum anonymity right based on human rights; (h) Venables' later arrest for child pornography - as an adult when on parole - attempts were made to name/shame him which were in breach of the injunction protecting his new identity following his arrest and return to custody. My Masters thesis was about the lasting legal legacy of the James Bulger murder case, and children who murder generally. I dislike writing about Law on this Blog as I feel I take complex topics and simplify them for an audience who may not know about English Law, and it is probably pretty boring for my audience, but sometimes it is necessary to set the context behind the dream language/theme/symbolism.

Dreamsigns:

• My home was one which only existed in the dream - the events taking place in this house were also dreamsigns
• EH's dream character uncle
• The object belonging to Jon Venables.

Recurrent Dream Themes:

• None of note

Potential Day/Dream Residue:

• I saw KK and SN on Facebook just before this dream
• Interactions with EH just before the dream took place - I saw a photo of him using his mobile to take the picture (a selfie) in the mirror
• I was watching a makeup tutorial the day of this dream - Tanya Burr was putting blue makeup on her face to recreate a Halloween zombie look
• I was watching true crime documentaries just before I had this dream - I also told EH that my Masters thesis was on child murderers - namely Robert Thompson and Jon Venables, the killers of James Bulger
• 2 days before this dream I saw a reference to the abolition of the presumption of doli incapax in the teaching materials I use for my Criminal Law classes
• The day of this dream I saw an online article about a sperm whale which was washed up on a local beach (Hunstanton) several days ago. This is one of a number of recent whale beachings (in Norfolk, Lincolnshire and Europe) and have attracted a lot of media attention, especially as autopsies of the whales have taken place on the beaches and some environmental activists have become involved, even graffiting the whale corpses. As I write this, I realise that NS (referenced in this dream as he appeared as a composite dream character) has a real last name which is 'Stanton'!

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
This dream was fascinating to me as it was so bizarre!

* I may have forgotten some aspects of this dream, but if I recall them at a later stage, I will record them below.

Dream 559

'Come Dine With Me Attempted Rape'

Dream date: 2 February 2016

Scene 1: Unknown Interior - Time Unknown
I was in an unknown interior - a domestic location, which I guess was someone's house, based on the context of this dream, which all seemed to take place in the same building. I was with a group of dream characters who were all contestants on the dinner party competition show, Come Dine With Me. Two of the contestants were arguing - it transpired that as soon as the line-up of contestants for this particular show had been announced, one of them - a blonde female in her 20s or 30s - had started to harass another of them - a male of a similar age - on Twitter. She had been bombarding him with tweets, some of which were flirtatious. This annoyed him. He was shouting at the female: 'You did it after 5 minutes!' 

I then saw the 'host' contestant for that night's dinner party, in his kitchen, preparing food. He was a tall male with ginger hair. He had a very strange body shape - fat around the middle, but with long, skinny arms and legs and a very shrunken, misshaped and lumpy head, with a double-chin. He was jumping around the kitchen in a very energetic way.

I then saw this male contestant leave the kitchen and go upstairs. I assume that this was his house, given he was the host of that night's dinner party. He entered a bedroom which was very nicely decorated/furnished in red velvet and gold. On a very ornate double-bed was a young Chinese woman, wearing a French Maid's outfit. She was sitting with her legs crossed at the ankles. The ginger male character pulled her off the bed by her feet and then chased her around the room, shouting: 'Rape! Rape!' The female did not seem scared, but was alarmed - there was the element of slapstick comedy about the incident and I felt uneasy, hoping that the male would fall down or hurt himself in some way, allowing the female to escape. They ran round and round the bed in circles, but both were laughing. 

TIME: 21:00 - 23:00 hours (I woke up from this dream)

LUCIDITY: NO

SPECIAL NOTES: NONE OF NOTE

Dream Information:

• None of note

Dreamsigns:

• My Mum and I were back working in the Two Lifeboats Hotel
• The kitchen of the hotel had a different layout - with a doorway/passage where the cooking equipment would be
• The chase scene and following events

Recurrent Dream Themes:

• My Nan's house as a dream scene location

Potential Day/Dream Residue:

• I fell asleep and had this dream whilst watching an episode of Come Dine With Me on my laptop. The Channel 4 online catch-up channel is set to autoplay the next episodes, so this show would have been playing throughout my sleep/dream, and indeed, I woke up to find it was still playing
• I have been reading reports/seeing images online of the Zika virus, a symptom of which is the birth of children with shrunken, misshapen heads. My mum and I also had a conversation about this

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
This was a very strange dream! I think it was largely the result of day residue, as described above.

Dream 558 (LUCID DREAM)

'Macaulay Culkin Look-a-Like'

Dream date: 1 February 2016

Scene 1: An Interior Location - Day
I was in an interior, although I am not sure where this was. There were a number of dream characters present - they may have been people I know, but I cannot recall. MS was there and I was pleased that he wanted to spend time with me. 

Scene 2: The Living-room at my Nan's House, Sheringham - Day
I was then in my Nan's house with MS. He was sitting on the sofa - in the seat closest to the kitchen. I was sitting on the floor by his feet. We had a laptop with us. I was telling MS that he had grown up to look like a 'better version' of Macaulay Culkin - he did look very much like a more handsome, wholesome version and thus, very different from how MS in fact looks. I told MS about his resemblance to Culkin and we used the laptop to search for pictures of him to prove it. I cannot recall what else happened in this dream scene, but I feel that I have forgotten some aspects of it.

Scene 3: A Kitchen, Location Unknown - Time Unknown
I was then in a  long white kitchen, standing at a workbench. In front of me were more kitchen units and a sink. To the side of the workbench as a bin/trashcan. MS was in the kitchen with me, as was his father and other people (unrecalled). I was thinking that I was now in a relationship with MS and this fact made me happy. MS's father was preparing food, but as I looked down at what he was doing, I noticed the 'food' was actually a pile of car keys. As soon as he saw me notice this fact he put the car keys in the bin. In the bin, under the car keys, was some pink gunge/goo. 

MS's father then said: 'You can't date my son!' As I looked into his face, I became fully lucid. I thought: 'I'm dreaming!' I tried to focus and stay calm, realising this was my first lucid dream in a while. I thought 'I might be able to control this dream' and decided to test out my dream control powers. I said to MS's father: 'It's my dream so I can date him if I want' to which he replied: 'You're lying if you think this is a dream!' I laughed at him and called MS over, thinking that I might have more luck with controlling him. I said to MS: 'Tell your dad about us' to which MS said: 'We're dating'. I wondered if this was the result of me successfully controlling my dream or if MS was always going to say that, regardless. The lucidity of the dream then started to fade - everything was going dim and hazy.

I cannot recall anything else about this dream at present - I may have simply woke up from this scene, or lapsed back into a normal non-lucid dream, the details of which I cannot remember.

TIME: 22:00 - 06:00 hours (I woke up from this dream)

LUCIDITY: YES - FULLY LUCID

• Spontaneous DILD (Dream Initiated/Induced Lucid Dream)
• No induction method used
• No reality checks used

SPECIAL NOTES: NONE OF NOTE

Dream Information:

• MS was my first ever boyfriend (when I was 13 years old, Year 9 in high school). He moved to my local area from London and was perceived as being rebellious - I made friends with him as soon as he joined by school. During our 'relationship' I was banned from his house (which was a meeting point for all the local stoners/skaters/alternative kids as there was a relatively liberal atmosphere in the family home, which was a converted guest house/hotel and had a number of floors separating the family living area from MS and his siblings' bedrooms, giving us freedom and privacy). The ban occurred because his dad managed to walk into the room (to call MS for dinner) at the precise point I had been showing MS my boobs. There were other kids hiding in the wardrobe (probably kissing and fooling around). I remember this evening very well, because earlier that night, whilst walking to MS's house, I had been approached by an older man (who had got out of his family car where his wife and children were) to tell me I was a very attractive young girl - I was wearing a black ribbed skinny-fit polo-neck and a tartan mini-skirt at the time). Even as a 13 year old I found this creepy and odd

Dreamsigns:

• MS looked like an older, more handsome version of Macaulay Culkin
• MS's father was preparing 'car keys' instead of food

Recurrent Dream Themes:

• My Nan's house as a dream scene location

Potential Day/Dream Residue:

• A couple of days before this dream - at a family party - I had been approached by my cousin's best friend (aged 18 years old) who was drunk and very persistent in his affections towards me. This male, JB, told me that he had fancied me since he was 12 years old, which led me to point out I would have been a very mature adult at the time, which made it an entirely inappropriate age-gap. He said I reminded him of Amy Winehouse, which made the attraction stronger. When explaining why it would be inappropriate for me to take advantage of this fact, I used the example of how Macaulay Culkin was my pre-adolescent crush and how if I met a much older man who resembled my childhood crush and he used this to exploit me when I was drunk and exercising bad judgement, this would be considered wrong - even if to a young man it seems less perverse when the female is the older party 

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
This was exciting as it was my first fully lucid dream in a long time and it occurred after I had stopped trying to intentionally induce a lucid dream, reality checking and taking Vitamin B6 supplements! I was disappointed that the lucidity only lasted a few minutes and nothing exciting happened, but I guess that this was my fault as I 'wasted' my lucidity on trying to prove a dream character wrong rather than simply exploring my dream!

* I have forgotten some aspects of this dream, but if I recall them later, I will record them below.

Dream 557

'Bad Hotel'

Dream date: 31 January 2016

Scene 1: The Two Lifeboats Hotel, Sheringham - Time Unknown
I was in the Two Lifeboats Hotel, Sheringham - which used to be managed by my Mum, and where I used to work as a teenager. I was waitressing and my mum was the head chef in the dream (reflecting real-life). I went into the restaurant area, which was full of diners. I was about to collect the bill and payment from a table in the corner (behind the door). There was a middle-aged white male and and female - both dressed in white. They handed me their bill which was on an A4 piece of paper and looked like a typed invoice which had been amended by someone in blue biro ink (so prices had been added and deducted from the amount, making it confusing). I said I would go and sort this out. 

I went into the kitchen and showed my mum the bill. She said she had written on it to make additions/deductions and she would sort it out. The kitchen was very hot and busy. Where the fryers would be (in real-life at the time I worked in this establishment), there was a doorway, which led to a passageway. A young white male was standing in the doorway (I will call him AAB for ease of reference). He was wearing a yellow T-shirt. He beckoned me to follow him, and ran off down the passageway. I chased him, but could not keep up and he seemed to disappear ahead of me. 

I found that I was running down a hallway which has a deep red carpet and red velvet drapes. Historical relics were mounted on the walls - I cannot say exactly what they were other than they looked like medieval brass/gold weapons, such as axes and swords. I saw a staircase - also carpeted in red - in front of me. Leaning over a bannister at the top of the staircase was a young man with black hair. I then realised I was being chased by a similar-looking man. The dream character male at the top of the stairs (the one leaning over the bannister) was trying to grab me as I ran up the stairs, chased by his fellow male dream character. They were 'working together' to catch me. I ran as fast as I could and managed to avoid being caught by either. I ran into a large room at the top of the stairs, although the hallway had a number of doors leading to rooms. The room I entered was a huge ballroom with a dance floor. I ran onto the dance floor (I cannot recall seeing anyone dancing, but I think music was playing). Both the males leapt to the ground, so they were on the floor by my feet, and both grabbed at my legs. Almost immediately, a male security officer came over (wearing a uniform) and removed the 2 male dream characters by hauling them up from the floor and marching them off out of the room. I then decided to leave myself.

I went into the next room, which was a bedroom, with a table beside one of the beds. which was actually a bunkbed, but a double-sized one. I was sitting on the bed when the male dream character (AAB) came into the room. He put what I thought was some cannabis down on the table beside the bed - and I knew this was for me. He said something to me, and I noticed he had a Scottish accent. I said: 'You are Scottish?' and he said: 'I learnt it from my boss...' I wondered if he meant RBA. 

I followed AAB out onto the concrete roof terrace of the hotel, after climbing up a short flight of metal steps. It was a hot, sunny day and the sky was blue. I was aware that we were high up, but I could see very little of the scenery around us, other than a basketball court, which was a short distance away, on the same level/height as the rood terrace. AAB laid down on some concrete while I sat nearby. He told me he wanted to 'Netflix and chill' with a girl he was interested in/in a relationship with, but he did not have a subscription. I said: 'You can buy a subscription for £54, but it costs £17 if you want a fake one...' AAB said he 'wanted a fake one'. He was joined by a blonde female dream character who laid down on the concrete next to him and started embracing/kissing him. I thought I should leave them alone to be intimate without my presence interrupting them.

I cannot recall anything else about this dream at present.

TIME: 19:00 - 01:00 hours (I woke up from this dream)

LUCIDITY: NO

SPECIAL NOTES: NONE OF NOTE

Dream Information:

• None of note

Dreamsigns:

• My Mum and I were back working in the Two Lifeboats Hotel
• The kitchen of the hotel had a different layout - with a doorway/passage where the cooking equipment would be
• The chase scene and following events

Recurrent Dream Themes:

• My Nan's house as a dream scene location

Potential Day/Dream Residue:

• I had been in Sheringham earlier in the day and my Mum, Nan and I had lunch in a local restaurant
• A very short time before this dream I had been reading a thread on Facebook about a company which promised a very cheap trial of a revolutionary anti-ageing cream, although the small-print at the bottom indicated that this was a deceptive advert (the cheap price of £4.95 was for postage and packaging - if you didn't like the product you had to return it within 14 days - which was actually 13 days on the way the company calculated it - or be charged £85.95 per month) - the terms and conditions were very confusing to the average consumer
• The day before this dream, at a family party, I had got some cannabis
• The day before this dream - at the party - I had been approached by my cousin's best friend (aged 18 years old) who was drunk and very persistent in his affections towards me, which led to my male cousins telling him it was inappropriate, although we all recognised it was a harmless teenage crush on his best friend's older cousin - however, one cousin (JC1) had warned this male to 'take his hands off his cousin's leg'
• The day before this dream my uncle was telling us that he had a Netflix subscription and my mum was recommending he watch Making a Murderer (2015)
• The day of this dream, my Mum, Nan and I saw IE, a Scottish friend of my Mum, who comes from Glasgow and has a much stronger Glaswegian accent than my friend RBA, who has a pretty strong accent himself (a lot of people would find it impossible to understand IE's accent, but we are very used to it)

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
This dream was really interesting as I wanted to know AAB more (he seemed like a really nice person) and I also wanted to explore the hotel as well.

* I have forgotten some aspects of this dream, but if I recall them later, I will record them below.

Dream 556

'Arguing with my Nan'

Dream date: 28 January 2016

Scene 1: My Nan's House, Sheringham - Night
I was in my Nan's house in Sheringham and it was night, although I did not see outside the house to confirm this. I was sitting in the chair beside the door to the hallway and my nan was sitting on the sofa. In the room were 2 uncles by marriage - AF and BJ - who are divorced and estranged from the family, both for infidelity and other more serious issues which I will not detail in this Blog out of respect to my aunts and cousins. AF is HM's stepfather/SAF1 and SAF2's father (ex-husband of VF, my mum's youngest sister); and BJ is my cousin CAJ's father (ex-husband of my aunt CJ). There were other family members - including my cousin JC1 - in the kitchen. My Nan wanted to use the internet on a laptop. She asked if she could use my smartphone as a 'hotspot' for internet access and I said she could and I would set it up. My Nan then gave me a £20 note which I placed on the table. I thought that this would be useful as it covered my train fare back to Norwich and also my food for the next day. My Nan started to look up a website about prawns/shrimps on the laptop. AF was also using a laptop. He said something (I cannot remember what), but this caused me to disagree strongly with him and he was mocking me. To my surprise, my Nan started to side with him against me (this would never happen in real-life - my Nan once threw BJ out of her house - bearing in mind he lived on the other side of the country and was hungover - whilst my ex-boyfriend and I were also staying, because BJ had made racist comments; my ex-boyfriend was a person of colour and I am mixed-race and my Nan obviously wanted to defend and protect us from the racism).

My cousin JC1 tried to keep the peace, telling me that it was OK and I should not get angry. My Nan was laughing and I started arguing with her, telling her that she shouldn't treat me in this way. I then noticed that the £20 was gone from the table. My Nan said: 'Yes, I took it back'. I was angry about this and wondered why, as it was so out of character for my Nan, who is very generous with what little money she has because she knows that I struggle with finances and we are a working-class family who try to help each other out when we can. I started trying to convince myself that it was not worth getting upset about because in the grand scheme of things I had enough money in my own bank account to pay for my train fare and food and I should not fall out with my Nan over money (I never ever would do this, I am so grateful to her for how she helps me out without ever expecting repayment). The situation felt very uncomfortable and I wanted to leave.

TIME: 21:00 - 05:00 hours (I am not sure when this dream took place)

LUCIDITY: NO

SPECIAL NOTES: NONE OF NOTE

Dream Information:

• None of note

Dreamsigns:

• My estranged uncles were at my Nan's house, even though in real-life they would not be welcome
• My Nan would never use a computer or want to access the internet as she does not understand technology
• I would not know how to use my phone as a hotspot for the internet

Recurrent Dream Themes:

• My Nan's house as a dream scene location

Potential Day/Dream Residue:

• I had recently spoken to my cousins JC1 and also CAJ separately
• I am visiting my family over this coming weekend, for JC2's (JC1's younger brother) 18th birthday party - HM and her family will be there
• I am aware that a certain person invited to the party holds racist views and I think I am anxious that I won't hold my tongue if he makes any controversial or hateful remark in my presence; I know he holds these views based on comments he has made on Facebook. This worry is clearly in my mind prior to attending the party

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
This dream wasn't particularly enjoyable because it involved a family feud and my uncles who I would not want to spend any time with. The most interesting thing about this dream was how significant the fact my Nan was researching prawns/shrimps seemed to be - I remember seeing a huge image of a prawn on the laptop screen and this seemed to be very important in the dream.

* I have forgotten some aspects of this dream, but if I recall them later, I will record them below.