Dream 774 (NSFW - ADULT CONTENT)

'Crashing Weddings'

Date: 7 February 2017

Time: 22:30 - 04:00 & 04:40 - 12:00 (I woke up from this dream naturally, then went back to sleep shortly afterwards, where I had a second dream)

Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Strong recall

This dream is part of my Dream Incubation Experiment - where I ask my subconscious mind: WHAT DOES MY HEART DESIRE? You can read the introductory post (and watch the accompanying Youtube video by clicking HERE - opens in new window)

Scene 1: Location Unknown - Day
I was aware that a friend from my university undergraduate days was getting married (this is a boy I thought I was in love with, and hooked up with a number of times, although nothing serious developed and we never had full sex, only foreplay. When this male started a relationship, he would still contact me and refer to his continued attraction towards me, which was frustrating as he only ever seemed to want me when I was unavailable, either because of his own relationship, or because I was with someone else myself). This male, PP was a composite of himself and Anakin Skywalker (so, Hayden Christensen, although PP is half-Asian and looks nothing like Anakin/Hayden in real life). In the dream I thought to myself 'they've been morphed several times to look like that' meaning they have been spliced together (I am not sure who was responsible for this) until they formed the ideal composition of both men - see below for an image I have created of PP and AS as a composite dream character which I made using a Face Morph programme, which is quite relevant to the dream. In the dream PPAS was actually marrying his real life wife, RS. I saw some scenes of what the wedding would look like - they appeared in my head or in the space before my eyes - I saw items draped with white fabric and flowers, with PPAS and RS standing holding hands. I decided that I should crash the wedding to prevent the marriage from happening, so that I could confess my love for PPAS and enter into a relationship with him. This did not seem immoral in the dream; in fact it seemed like the best possible idea and my mind was set on it. I was worried that I might be late for the wedding and miss the opportunity - I knew I only had an hour before the ceremony started, but thought that it might take me longer than that to get to the destination. 

I then woke up for a short while, before falling back asleep and having another dream, recorded below.

Scene 2: Location Unknown - Time Unknown
I have referred to this scene as Scene 2, even though it was really a separate dream. I am not sure of how many scenes this dream had - I did not pay attention to my locations or surroundings and have forgotten many aspects of this part of my dream.

I was with R3A - his behaviour was different from usual and I was aware of someone (maybe a dream character, maybe someone I knew from real life) telling me that R3A was an expert on fine cuisine, which I did not believe in the dream (and is not true in real life). There seemed to be some kind of journey that R3A and I took together and me feeling relieved that he was accompanying me, rather than me having to go alone. I was happy to spend time with him. I know there was some interaction which I have forgotten.

I then saw R3A sitting on a chair. I decided that I wanted to have sex, so I began to straddle him. He said to me: 'There is so much wetness' and I was aware that fluid was gushing out from my vagina, a sign of how aroused I was. I positioned myself so that I could lower down onto his erect penis and I started riding him, feeling like I was about to orgasm - making this a 'wet dream'. I woke up during the sex part of this dream, before I was able to fully reach orgasm.

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Extra Information: None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

• Star Wars 
• Men from my past
• R3A as a dream character

Dreamsigns: 

• PP was a composite dream character with Anakin Skywalker
• PP was not yet married
• The interactions with R3A

Day Residue

• I had seen PP post on Facebook
• I see countless Anakin memes online every day
• On the day of this dream I watched a review of the animated movie, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) which features Anakin Skywalker - I had commented to my friend DL that the animation was terrible and none of the characters, especially Anakin, looked like they should
• I had watched a funny review of the Star Wars prequel movies on the day of this dream - in the review relating to Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002), I was reminded of the scene where Anakin secretly marries Padmé Amidala

Waking Reactions: 

I am not sure how this dream is related to my Dream Incubation Experiment. I always enjoy dream sex (it is the safest, most drama-free sexual experience for a single woman!) and I regret the fact that I woke up before I was able to achieve orgasm. In relation to Scene 1, I guess many years ago being able to start a relationship with PP would have been a very conscious and real desire of mine - but nowadays I have no residual feelings towards him. He is a married man and a father and to be honest, he doesn't really physically attract me as much as he used to, despite the fact he looks pretty much the same as he did when I knew him at university. 

I am aware I have forgotten some aspects of this dream - especially from the second section - Scene 2. If I recall anything else, I will record it below.

Here is my Youtube video where I describe my current Dream Incubation Experiment:

Dream 773

'Kylo Ren's Lightsaber'

Date: 6 February 2017

Time: 01:00 - 06:50 (I woke up from this dream naturally)

Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Strong recall

This dream is part of my Dream Incubation Experiment - where I ask my subconscious mind: WHAT DOES MY HEART DESIRE? You can read the introductory post (and watch the accompanying Youtube video by clicking HERE - opens in new window)

Scene 1: A Domestic Interior - Night
I was in a domestic interior, which felt familiar in the dream, but was not somewhere known to me in real life. The room I was in was a kitchen/dining area, with a bar on one side - it was very dark in the room. My Mum was sitting at this bar on a bar stool and in the room with us (and perhaps other dream characters) was Youtube makeup artist, Nic Haste from Pixiwoo. We were getting ready for a party. I was doing something with chocolate wrappers, which seemed important to me in the dream. I was aware that Nic had got dressed for the party and was wearing a pair of pale blue skinny jeans. I started looking through a pile of clothes which was heaped on a counter in the far side of the dream. I decided that I wanted to wear a similar pair of jeans to those Nic was wearing and selected a pale lilac pair, which were almost identical, but for the colour variation. I then wondered where Sam Chapman, Nic's sister was - so I called her name loudly. I could hear her reply from downstairs, in an angry tone as if she was being interrupted. I went downstairs to talk to her.

Scene 2: Street - Day
I then found myself in a street - it was daytime and I am not sure where this street was - it may have been Sheringham or Norwich (where the Pixiwoo sisters actually live). I was trying to find Sam. I saw that she was at the end of a queue in a shop. I think this shop was a butchers, although I am not sure. The door of the shop was open and the queue was long enough for Sam to be standing right in the doorway. There was some conversation, but it was tense and awkward and I thought that Nic was the friendlier sister to get along with. I noticed that Sam was also wearing a pair of pastel skinny jeans, so realised that I could not copy both of the sisters and would have to find something else to wear instead.

Scene 3: Location Unknown - Time Unknown
I was then with a male dream character (a fat, middle-aged white man with a balding head, who in the dream was a friend of my Mum's) and Rihanna. Rihanna seemed to be very friendly, while the male dream character was a 'joker' and quite annoying. He seemed to be ignorant and sexist - a lager-lout type. Rihanna was sitting on a very low wall in what was an outside area, drinking. The dream character male told me that he had to drop Rihanna off at his house so that she could get ready for the party we were all supposed to be attending. He then said - so only I could hear - that he wa 'lucky to be dating Rihanna'. I was surprised and shocked that such an unattractive, annoying man could have a relationship with a celebrity like Rihanna, and I was not sure that I believed him. He seemed smug and egotistical.

I then became aware that I had access to the lightsaber which belonged to Kylo Ren in Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015). I am not sure if Kylo Ren was present, but in the dream, I knew that he had left his lightsaber there. I was not scared of him returning and finding me using the lightsaber, as he was (in my dream mind), 'a friend' of ours, not an enemy. 

I started telling someone - I cannot recall who, it may have been 'Rihanna's boyfriend/my Mum's male friend dream character' how lightsabers are made. I was telling him that they are made by Jedis. using (kyber) crystals. I was explaining that Jedi lightsabers are blue or green (or purple in the case of Mace Windu, representing his ability to use both sides of the Force, I think), while Sith lightsabers are red because they are made from synthetic crystals (unstable synth-crystals). I think that in the dream I explained this correctly. I was then excited to use Kylo Ren's lightsaber - although due to the instability of the cracked crystal used to make it, and the cross-guard, I was also scared that I might cut through my own hand if I was not careful. I started practicing wielding the lightsaber, although I do not think I was duelling with anyone. I found this to be really fun, but I was also wondering if this meant that I was now a Sith.

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Extra Information: None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

• My family as dream characters
• Chocolate bars/chocolate wrappers

Dreamsigns: 

• I was with the Pixiwoo sisters and Rihanna in this dream
• Scenes transitioned from inside the house to a street when I went 'downstairs'
• I had Kylo Ren's lightsaber

Day Residue

• A few days before this video I watched a Youtube makeup tutorial from Pixiwoo - featuring Sam Chapman
• On the day of this dream I had been teaching a university class in Contract Law - one of the cases involved chocolate wrappers (and the question of whether they were considered to be good consideration for the formation of legally enforceable contractual relations) - Chappell v Nestle Ltd [1959] UKHL 1
• On the day of this dream I had seen an online image of Rihanna at a basketball game, sitting in the front row, drinking a beer
• I follow numerous Star Wars themed Facebook pages - so will be exposed to Star Wars-related material on a daily basis - I can vaguely remember seeing an Adam Driver meme on the day I had this dream

Waking Reactions: 

I am not sure how this dream is related to my Dream Incubation Experiment. It was such a weird dream, but my favourite part was definitely playing with Kylo Ren's lightsaber. I would actually just prefer a regular lightsaber in blue, but in the dream I was only given the option of using Kylo Ren's. When I was a small child I loved to play pretend sword fights - I would either have a plastic sword from the toyshop or my Mum would make me a temporary one from newspaper and other household items. Large parts of my young childhood were spent by myself waving a sword around. I think Kylo Ren's lightsaber - with the cross-guards - reminds me of this.

Here is my Youtube video where I describe my current Dream Incubation Experiment:

Dream 772

'Baby Shower Presents'

Date: 5 February 2017

Time: 22:00 - 04:30 (I woke up from this dream naturally)

Type of dream: Normal dream
Dream recall: Normal recall

This dream is part of my Dream Incubation Experiment - where I ask my subconscious mind: WHAT DOES MY HEART DESIRE? You can read the introductory post (and watch the accompanying Youtube video by clicking HERE - opens in new window)

Scene 1: My Ex-Boyfriend, PS' Home, London - Time Unknown
This dream took place in my ex-boyfriend, PS' family home in London, where I used to live with him. I am not sure if the dream version of this house reflected the real life one, as the details of the house are not recalled. PS, his family and I were in the house. I was in PS' bedroom, sitting on the bed. From this room, I was able to see what was going on in the rest of the house, which would be impossible in real life.

Some visitors came to the house - these were dream characters, not people I have ever met in real life. The dream characters were a young married couple - a white man with brown hair and a white woman with shoulder-length blonde hair, wearing a pink shirt. PS told me that N the Dog would have to remain in the bedroom with me, because the female dream character was pregnant and scared of dogs. I thought that this was unfair to N the Dog, as this was his home and he is not an aggressive dog. N the Dog laid on the bed and I was stroking him, while the dream characters went into the lounge.

At some point I went downstairs and joined PS, his mum (CAS) and perhaps his siblings. The dream character couple were still there. CAS told PS and I that we had to buy the couple a present for the baby shower she was holding on their behalf. She had already chosen the present we were to buy (I am not sure what it was), and told us that it would cost £600 - meaning we should contribute £300 each. I was angry - not only because of the huge cost of the present and the fact that I did not know the dream characters I was supposed to be buying it for, but also because CAS is terrible at money management and would never buy anyone such an extravagant gift. I thought she had no right to tell me I had to buy a present for strangers. I started arguing, saying: 'I only earn £300 per week' - then realised I meant 'per month' so corrected myself. I refused to buy or contribute towards the gift and there was a huge argument. 

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Extra Information: None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

• Ex-boyfriends

Dreamsigns: 

• I was with my ex-boyfriend
• I could see the entire house from a first-floor bedroom

Day Residue

• I had been thinking about income and the need to get a part-time job which pays the same amount at my current scholarship - £300 a month, approximately

Waking Reactions: 

I am not sure how this dream is related to my Dream Incubation Experiment - it did not seem to reflect any subconscious wishes or desires, but rather financial worries and a feeling that I was being manipulated in some way. The emotions in this dream were angry and defensive.

Here is my Youtube video where I describe my current Dream Incubation Experiment:

Dream 771

'A Big Mess of Mugs'

Date: 2 February 2017

Time: 03:00 - 11:00 (I woke up from this dream naturally)

Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Strong recall

This dream is part of my Dream Incubation Experiment - where I ask my subconscious mind: WHAT DOES MY HEART DESIRE? You can read the introductory post (and watch the accompanying Youtube video by clicking HERE - opens in new window)

Scene 1: A Bus - Day
I was on a bus, sitting on the right side as you face the driver. The bus was full of people. I heard someone say: 'I hate black people!' and I was shocked that there might be a racist incident on the bus, so got up from my seat to see who said it. I realised it was a young Muslim child wearing a white T-shirt. He appeared to be of Asian (Middle Eastern) origin (I could tell he was Muslim due to the fact his mother, sitting beside him was wearing a hijab and the child was wearing a black taqiyah - a prayer cap). He was sitting on the left side of the bus, about 2 rows ahead of me. He turned and stared at me when I stood up to see who had made the racist comment. I decided that because it was a young child - he looked about 8 - 10 years old - that I should not intervene, so despite being angry about it, I sat down and minded my own business. 

Scene 2: My Former Childhood Home, Pine Grove, Sheringham - Day
I was then returning home - this must be why I had been taking a bus ride. I went back to my former family home in Pine Grove, Sheringham - which was my current home in the dream, shared with my Mum and Stepdad. The house was different inside (very narrow room, with sofa seating in front of a long counter/bar behind which was the kitchen). I was aware that my parents were having a party - and had invited some local people (in particular 2 of my Mum's various female friends, JSS and NP). My Mum had catered for the event and I started looking at the food, which was normal buffet food and cakes. I then realised that JSS and NP had ordered Chinese takeaway. All of the Chinese food had been consumed and the tinfoil cartons (upside down) were littering the kitchen counter. The entire room was a complete mess - there was rubbish, food and empty cups everywhere - a huge pile of discarded trash was stacked on a large dining table in a darker corner of the room. I perceived it as my job to clean up after the party and I felt angry, as it was such a terrible mess. JSS and NP were laughing at me, telling me not to worry and to just sit down and enjoy myself.

I went outside into the garden - which appeared to be exactly as it used to be in real life, despite the interior of the house being very different. It was daylight, and the sky was pale and grey. On the patio was a huge pile of coffee mugs - mostly navy, blue and black in colour. This pile was taller than me and covered almost all of the patio. I was resigned to the fact I had to clean every mug in the pile and knew that it would take me days to complete this task. My Stepdad joined me outside and started chatting to me.

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Extra Information: None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

• My family as dream characters

Dreamsigns: 

• I was in my former childhood home - the interior of which appeared to be very different
• The pile of mugs on the patio in the garden

Day Residue

• A couple of days before this dream I had been dealing with a racially-motivated incident while at work
• Shortly before this dream I had discussed how British people tend to react to racist incidents on public transport - comparing the reactions of passengers in London and those in Norfolk (London passengers are more likely to be outraged and confront the racist or attempt to shame them by filming incidents to post to social media, while in Norfolk, as less diverse and more conservative area, it is more likely that they will ignore racism, or agree with the racist)
• There has been a lot of racist incidents reported in the media recently - especially following the 'Muslim Ban' (President Trump's controversial - and discriminatory - executive order to control immigration into the USA
• I had been thinking about a part-time cleaning job I previously done many years ago - considering whether I would be able to do a part-time cleaning job if I do not manage to get another part-time job over the summer

Waking Reactions: 

I am not sure how this dream is related to my Dream Incubation Experiment. It was a very bizarre dream, especially the part with the massive pile of mugs in the garden.

Here is my Youtube video where I describe my current Dream Incubation Experiment:

Dream 770

'Finnish Ham!'

Date: 31 January 2017

Time: 16:30 - 18:00 (I woke up from this dream due to an alarm)

Type of dream: Normal dream
Dream recall: Normal recall

This dream is part of my Dream Incubation Experiment - where I ask my subconscious mind: WHAT DOES MY HEART DESIRE? You can read the introductory post (and watch the accompanying Youtube video by clicking HERE - opens in new window)

Scene 1: An Interior - Time Unknown
This dream took place during a short afternoon nap.

I got a Facebook message on my phone (I actually got a Facebook message on my phone, so I must have 'heard' the alert through my sleep and translated it into my dream narrative. In the dream, the message was from R3A - and in real life, it was in fact R3A who had messaged me!)

The (dream) message read: 'Finish it!' In the dream, I took it to be a misquote of 'Finish him!' from Mortal Kombat. He had sent some emojis as well - an aubergine/eggplant and some water splashes (which is translated as being symbolic of an ejaculating penis when used together). I was with a female dream character, who was unknown to me in real life, but seemed to be a friend in the dream. I got the impression it was someone I know from university. I asked this dream character what I should say in response. I noticed that we were in an interior that appeared to be partially like a cosmetics/jewellery outlet in a department store, but was also a domestic interior, with a kitchen. While I was asking what I should message back, I was wandering around the room, looking at some glass cabinets of cosmetics/gold jewellery. The dream character told me to write back: 'Let's meet 'just as mates'' (specifically, she instructed me to use quotation marks around 'just as mates' although I am unsure why. I messaged this, and got an angry response from R3A who told me that I had taken too long to respond to him, despite the fact it had been merely moments between his message and my reply.

Scene 2: A Post Office - Day
I was then in an interior which looked like a large post office - I was at the counter, doing something with a chocolate bar - I think I was trying to swap it for something. I saw myself in the third-person perspective at this stage, rather than from my own perspective. I cannot recall if I looked like my normal real life self or not. I then started arguing (shouting) at my Nan, who was also in the post office and angry at me for something, which I cannot recall. In the background, I could see Ewan McGregor, standing conducting what appeared to be a lecture. 

Extra Information: None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

• R3A as a dream character
• Arguing with my Nan
• Ewan McGregor as a dream character
• Lecture/classroom-based learning

Dreamsigns: 

• The domestic interior was also a cosmetics/jewellery outlet in a department store
• Ewan McGregor was conducting some form of lecture in a post office

Day Residue

• The Facebook message was clearly as a result of me 'hearing' a message alert on my mobile phone while asleep - I had no reason to assume it would be R3A, the fact I was correct was a mere coincidence
• Shortly before this dream, my friend DL sent me a Mortal Kombat meme, which was based on the 'Finish him!' quote - it was a picture of 'Finnish Ham' (see below)
• On the day of this dream I went to the Post Room at University to pick up my bank statements and new debit card
• I think about Ewan McGregor all the time!
• I am due to start teaching Contract Law soon

Waking Reactions: 

I am not sure how this dream is related to my Dream Incubation Experiment. It seems to be highly influenced by Day Residue rather than subconscious desires/wishes. I find it odd that I did not spot the Ewan McGregor Dreamsign - usually I would be overjoyed to dream about Ewan, but in this dream, I was ambivalent. I was slightly unnerved by the messages from R3A in the dream, there was something ominous and very angry about them. In real life, his actual message was fairly banal and friendly.

Here is my Youtube video where I describe my current Dream Incubation Experiment:

Dream 769

'Weird Building'

Date: 30 January 2017

Time: 22:30 - 06:00 (I woke up from this dream naturally)

Type of dream: Normal dream
Dream recall: Normal recall

This dream is part of my Dream Incubation Experiment - where I ask my subconscious mind: WHAT DOES MY HEART DESIRE? You can read the introductory post (and watch the accompanying Youtube video by clicking HERE - opens in new window)

Scene 1: A Strange Building - Time Unknown
This dream is very difficult to describe and was experienced as something between a dream and a nightmare. There was just a terrible sense of foreboding and danger attached to it, although nothing very scary actually seemed to happen. 

I was with a female dream character who I perceived as being my twin in the dream, although she looked like a younger version of myself. We were stuck in a very strange, maze-like building, which no escape. The building was made up of long corridors with many many red doors on both sides. There was no other decoration in these hallways - just blank walls and red doors. Sometimes you had to turn a corner and the doors were not always evenly spaced or where we expected them to be. The building was endless and infinitely big. It seemed 'abandoned' - or at least, it seemed that it had no purpose other than to trap people in it and drive them insane as there was no entrance/exit, only the same red doors with no indication of what was behind them.

Each red door opened to a different room, and each room was very weird. I cannot recall every room we went into or what happened, but I will describe the ones which stick in my memory.

One of the rooms was completely filled with demolition and junk - it looked like a load of building materials had been piled into the room from floor to ceiling in a very haphazard and dangerous way. My twin had become trapped in some cables and bricks and I had to help free her so that we could leave the room. This took ages and we were both scared and panicked. 

Some of the rooms were completely empty and dusty - with no proper lighting and bare floorboards.

One of the rooms had stray dogs in it - just wandering around or laying down in an empty room which was quite dark.

One of the rooms was filled with used syringes and heroin paraphernalia (just spread across the floor) and we were scared to go inside in case we caught AIDS, so we stood outside the room with the door open and looked in.

Some of the rooms were furnished like normal houses/hotel rooms, but were unoccupied. Other than the dogs (and the final room we entered - see below), we saw no other people in the building. 

It felt like we were trying to get out of the building, but knew we could not - and therefore were trying to find the 'best room' out of all the bad ones. 

The final room we entered was a classroom. My twin and I were 'late' to the class, which was being held by a mature male dream character - white with a grey beard and glasses. He looked like a stereotypical university professor. There were other dream characters in the class - they seemed to be people I knew from high school or university perhaps. Everyone seemed familiar and well-known to me. The desks were all facing the front of the class, which was a room which gave me a sense of deja-vu, although I cannot place it in a real life memory. It didn't really look like a classroom, it was more makeshift than that - as if the class was being held there because it was the only room available. I had a strange feeling about being in this room, it was eerie and ominous. The lighting was poor and there seemed to be a lot of random objects littering the floor around the sides of the room - normal items, but making the room look messy. My thoughts when joining the class are difficult to describe, but I felt that this was the room we were 'supposed' to be in. The class was starting and the professor told me that I needed paper to write some notes. I did not have any paper with me, as I had not come prepared for the class. I asked another student - who happened to be VB (a girl I went to high school with, but have not seen for many years, other than when she was tagged into one of my other friend's Facebook photographs) if  could borrow some paper. She handed me her A4 notebook for me to tear out a sheet of paper. I asked her if I could take several sheets of paper, as I wanted to take as many notes as possible. However, I soon realised that she had used every single page of the notebook - it was filled with recipes for bakery items, written in blue ink. I could not find a single clean sheet of paper. 

I asked the professor if he had any spare paper and he handed me a very nice red leather-bound notebook - A4 sized. I was very pleased with this. I noticed that he had a large pile of these notebooks on his desk and they looked expensive and high quality, so I wondered why he was giving them away to students free of charge. The class began - the professor was a dictator and the class was him listing all of the people he had brutally murdered - they all seemed to be male politicians or world leaders. I found this to be a strange class and then I realised that this was why I felt slightly anxious about entering this room. 

There was more to this dream. I have the feeling of the dream memory being just at the edge of my recollection. I know I have tried to explain it this way before, but it's a similar feeling to when people describe something as being 'on the tip of their tongue' - a word, piece of information or memory is just slightly out of reach, like a carrot dangled on a stick in front of you. 

Extra Information: None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

• None of note

Dreamsigns: 

• I had a 'twin' who was a younger version of myself
• We were in a very strange building - all events which took place in this building were dreamsigns

Day Residue

• The day before this dream I had been showing my housemate SC and ML photographs of my younger self
• On the day of this dream I had seen a Facebook friend (who is an active member of the online lucid dreaming community) sharing a video (which appeared to be a Minecraft let's play) which was described as showing the most terrifying building with a jump scare warning. I hate jump scares, so I did not watch the video in full, but at the start, the 'player' was walking through a weird scary house/building
• On Saturday 28 January 2017 I went to see Trainspotting 2 at the cinema. This had scenes of a building filled with trash/demolition/debris/building materials from reconstruction/renovation work (Mark Renton, played by 'my bae' Ewan McGregor is involved in a scene where is he almost hanged by cables) and of course, heroin use and syringes and reference to AIDS
• The day of this dream I had been chatting to my housemate SC about teaching classes
• The day before this dream R3A and I had talked of 'murder' in a different context
• The current political situation across the world is pretty terrifying and it feels like we are on the brink of another war

Waking Reactions: 

I am not sure how this dream is related to my Dream Incubation Experiment. I think that this dream is subconsciously meaningful and it certainly felt that way while dreaming it and after I awoke from it and recalled what happened. As stated above, I know I have forgotten parts of this dream - if I recall anything further (and it seems as if I might, as I have that 'brain itch' I often get when I have temporarily forgotten part of a dream) I will record it below.

Here is my Youtube video where I describe my current Dream Incubation Experiment:

Dream 768

'The Best Place in London'

Date: 29 January 2017

Time: 23:00 - 05:00 (I woke up from this dream naturally)

Type of dream: Normal fragments
Dream recall: Normal recall

This dream is part of my Dream Incubation Experiment - where I ask my subconscious mind: WHAT DOES MY HEART DESIRE? You can read the introductory post (and watch the accompanying Youtube video by clicking HERE - opens in new window)

Scene 1: London - Day
I was in London - I am not sure which area of London, as I think that it was my subconscious imagination creating new places for the dream. I was with a female dream character - I think it may have been a transgender male-to-female person who I know online, so I will refer to them as NG. There were other people with us, although I cannot recall who was there at the start of the dream, which involved us trying to use the tube (the underground train system) to get to a particular place in London, although none of us seemed to know which line to take or which stop to get off at. It was all confusing and there was a sense of urgency or at least need to get there by a certain time. At first there were a few occasions where we went to the wrong place - we would get off the train in the tube station and realise this, and then have to get back on a train to go somewhere else. I cannot recall exactly what happened or was said between us during these scenes, but it was frustrating.

Eventually, I thought we needed to be somewhere called 'Friars' (there is a tube stop called 'Black Friars' but it was not here), as 'Friars' was only a short walk from what I thought was our intended location - a simple walk across the street. 

On street-level, it was a very sunny day and we were in an urban area. I could see that there was a lot of traffic at a very wide intersection, and many tall buildings that you might see in Central London. We were running across the street after we saw a sign which pointed in the direction I thought we should be walking in. 

Suddenly we came to a courtyard. It looked older - the architecture of the buildings was not modern, but I cannot describe them well, although this scene was very vivid to me. The buildings were around the outside of the courtyard and were made of red/orange brick/stone (I think this is actually called 'brownstone') - they seemed to be based on Georgian townhouses, but with some ornate architectural detailing at the top (see images, below). They formed a square. In the middle of the square there were a number of tables and chairs - like an outside cafe, where dream characters were sitting in the sun enjoying drinks or conversation. There was a narrow alleyway between 2 of the buildings. I walked down it and saw that it was filled with more tables with many dream characters sitting there. The thing which was most striking was that the whole area was filled with beautiful luscious flowers of all colours - in planters and hanging baskets, which made the area look exotic and just breathtaking. I thought this was the most amazing place I had ever seen in London. It felt like the happiest place on Earth to me in the dream and I wanted to stay forever. I noticed there were snapdragons, which are one of my favourite flowers.

I then left, because I needed to find NG and the other people we were with. I cannot quite recall what happened after that, but I remember that shortly after I left the square with flowers, I wanted to return there and show it to the other dreams characters I was with, but had forgotten which tube station we needed to go to. I eventually found the same area again, and everyone with me enjoyed seeing this place and the beautiful flowers. 

I then found myself on a train, sitting next to my Nan and opposite NG and a green person who resembled Dr Seuss' Grinch. NG was sitting between his feet, as if she were a small child and she was holding a book. The Grinch was scary and although he was with the group I was part of, I was afraid that he might turn against me. He had an aggressive demeanour, so I wanted to keep him happy. Everytime he spoke to me, he got up close into my face and pointed his finger at me. My Nan was being annoying - she was trying to interrupt the Grinch and I was worried that he might snap and become angry. She was trying to show him something in a book. To try and keep the Grinch on my side, I told my Nan that she needed to sit elsewhere on the train and leave him alone, which she did. 

I cannot recall what else happened in this dream.

Extra Information: None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

• None of note

Dreamsigns: 

• The square with flowers seemed to be fantastical and special
• The Grinch dream character

Day Residue

• On the day of this dream I had a conversation about when I lived in London
• On the day of this dream DL told me that I like 'ugly architecture' because I like 1960s architecture - especially Brutalism (my favourite type of buildings looks 'Soviet' or 'institutional', although there are other period styles I like as well, such as Georgian)
• The day before this dream I mentioned Kew Gardens to my housemate SC
• The day of this dream I watched Nostalgia Critic review Dr Seuss (1904 - 1991) movie adaptions - one of which was How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1957) which was adapted into The Grinch (2000). Like Nostalgia Critic (Doug Walker), I detest the way in which some of my favourite childhood books have been interpreted and portrayed by Hollywood

Waking Reactions: 

I am not sure how this dream is related to my Dream Incubation Experiment. However, it was a very enjoyable dream and seemed significant - at least going to the area of London where I saw the flowers aroused some extremely positive feelings in me and I wanted to stay there forever.

I have forgotten some aspects of this dream, but if I recall anything further, I will record it below.

Here is my Youtube video where I describe my current Dream Incubation Experiment:

Dream 767

'Benches for Children'

Date: 24 January 2017

Time: 20:00 - 23:00 (I woke up from this dream naturally)

Type of dream: Dream fragments
Dream recall: Normal recall

This dream is part of my Dream Incubation Experiment - where I ask my subconscious mind: WHAT DOES MY HEART DESIRE? You can read the introductory post (and watch the accompanying Youtube video by clicking HERE - opens in new window)

Scene 1: My Kitchen, Norwich - Time Unknown
These are dream fragments which occurred while I was falling asleep - they felt like they were thoughts/daydreams of my waking mind and where not situated in any specific time and place within a narrative, but were more like independent, abstract ideas.

There was a bench which was 'intended for children to sit on' which was to be destroyed and I wanted to protest against it. I did not see the bench of the children - this was just a thought.

Standing in my kitchen, in my flat (this was obviously related to a location, but was not like I was actually there experiencing this as a series of actions, more like a weird 'false' memory) - my housemate SC and I had to deal with a large blue object - it was a bright electric blue (very similar to THIS COLOUR) and seemed to be made of plastic. It had to be lifted from the work surfaces and put on the floor, but it was so cumbersome, it kept hitting against the sink. It reminded me of swimming pools. 

Piano - somewhere in Central London. Memories of visiting this location with EB several years ago (and him talking about something historical while we sat outside a building which may have been a church or some other form of grand public building set off from the main street).

Prosthetic limbs in white surgical stockings on the floor.

Extra Information: None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

• None of note

Dreamsigns: 

• None of note

Day Residue

• None of note

Waking Reactions: 

As these were 'dream fragments' as opposed to a full, narrative dream, I do not think they are related to my Dream Incubation Experiment. 

Here is my Youtube video where I describe my current Dream Incubation Experiment:

Dream 766

'Arranged Marriage'

Date: 23 January 2017

Time: 23:30 - 07:45 (I woke up from this dream naturally)

Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Normal recall

This dream is part of my Dream Incubation Experiment - where I ask my subconscious mind: WHAT DOES MY HEART DESIRE? You can read the introductory post (and watch the accompanying Youtube video by clicking HERE - opens in new window)

Scene 1: A Domestic Interior, Location Unknown - Time Unknown
I was in a situation where both CEC (a long-standing female friend of mine) and I were both living in the same home. CEC (in real-life) is married to a Pakistani man, and in the dream, someone connected to her husband had arranged a marriage for me - but it was a forced marriage and I did not want to be married to the man in question. He was Asian (not sure of his heritage) and not friendly. He was in his 20s or 30s and had short black hair and a complexion very similar to my ex-boyfriend, SL (who is of Asian heritage). My 'husband' also had an alcohol problem - and would sleep with empty alcohol bottles in his bed, meaning there was no room for me to sleep there. At one point in the dream I was standing beside the bed, looking down at him and the bottles. 

I was telling CEC how depressed I was in my forced marriage, but she was telling me that I had to put up with it and try and see things more positively. I was scared that I would be forced to have a sexual relationship with my new 'husband'. There was a scene which involved him being behind a door and me trying to avoid opening the door and confronting him.

There was some action which involved me formulating a plan to evade my new husband or defeat him in some way. I cannot recall the details of this part of the dream, but I was speaking to CEC about what I wanted to do and she was trying to persuade me to stay and make my marriage work. I did not feel safe. I was also aware that my new husband was going to try and force me to convert to Islam and this offended my atheist views. I felt trapped and extremely unhappy. There was a suffocating, claustrophobic feeling to this dream. 

I entered what appeared to be a conference room in the house. It was brightly lit with a yellow light and filled with men. On one wall, adjacent to the door, was a huge projector screen, showing a still image of women lined up. The men in the room were 'sexists' or 'misogynists'. I started speaking to the room, telling the men that they should not question women over motherhood and child-bearing. I said words to the effect of: 'It's offensive to see women as walking wombs. When you question a woman about motherhood, you don't know if she has fertility issues; recently suffered a miscarriage; gone through an abortion or had children taken into care. Motherhood is not a positive concept or 'goal' for all women'. I felt like I was speaking to deaf ears - none of the men agreed with me, but I felt like I was waging a war.

I cannot recall anything else about this dream. 

Extra Information: None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

• Rejection of marriage and motherhood

Dreamsigns: 

• I was being forced into an arranged marriage

Day Residue

• On the day of this dream I had seen a post written by an Asian male on a 'shitposting'/meme page I follow on Facebook. He had made a status saying he thought sex was disgusting and never wanted to experience it (I am not sure if he was being serious or not). I had commented on this thread (I wrote 'Is this a meme? Delet this' - as a joke, because his post was out of context with the rest of the content shared on the page, which tends to be topical memes). This led to the OP and another male of Asian heritage (Mohammed) having a conversation with me. OP told Mohammed that I was married. I had asked why he assumed that and corrected him. OP and Mohammed then started joking with me that they would force me into an arranged marriage, so to continue the joke thread, I started pretending I was male
• On the day of this dream I had a conversation about religion and music on a Hip Hop Debates page I am a member of on Facebook (the question asked by the OP was whether it was immoral to make reggae music if you are not a Rastafarian). I had contributed to this debate because I felt the OP had conflated atheism and secularism and I wanted to clarify the distinction between  the concepts (rather than participate in the substantive debate which I had no special interest in or views upon)
• The day before this dream a Facebook friend had been attempting to flirt with me and I had stated that I hated sharing a bed with anyone as I like my own physical space when sleeping (and am not a fan of 'snuggling' although there have been a couple of men who I have enjoyed sleeping next to)
• The day before this dream I had seen an online article which criticised attitudes towards women whereby they are constantly being asked whether they have children - or if they do not, why they haven't had children or why they do not want to have them. I find it incredibly sexist and aggravating. I had also had an online conversation with a male about this topic (separately) after he repeatedly asked me why I did not have children or want them in the future. I had raised the same objections to this line of questioning as in Scene 2 of this dream
• CEC has children from a previous relationship, but they do not live with her
• Feminism has been a huge topic in the media over the past few days following the Women's March in America which focused on current topics such as Planned Parenthood funding, abortion rights and sexual assaults (as a result of newly inaugurated President Donald Trump's heinous quote of 'grab them by the pussy'). It is said that the March was the largest protest in American history
• The day of this dream I dyed my hair blue-black (see Recalled Dream Scene - below)

Waking Reactions: 

I am not sure if this dream was related to my Dream Incubation Experiment. In fact, it seems to reflect my conscious, waking thoughts on marriage and motherhood - and a significant amount of Day Residue as indicated above. I disliked this dream intensely, because of how it made me feel while I was dreaming it (also stated above). However, I did not wake up with negative emotions, despite the dream content feeling negative within the dream itself.

I was extremely pleased to wake up to the news that Ewan McGregor had refused to be interviewed by the awful Piers Morgan on Good Morning Britain as a result of the negative, distasteful comments Morgan had made about the Women's March. I am proud that my icon supports feminism and LGBT rights amongst other worthy humanitarian causes and charities!

I may have forgotten some aspects of this dream as it seemed much longer and more complex than my recall when recording it (now, several hours after waking). If I remember anything else related to this dream I will record it below.

Here is my Youtube video where I describe my current Dream Incubation Experiment:

* Recalled Dream Scene (24 January 2017, 19:30 hours)
I realised that I had cut my hair to shoulder-length, but could not recall this happening, so it was a surprise to me in the dream. My hair looked and felt nice, but I regretted cutting it (it is waist length) and hoped it would grow back soon. I think I must have looked at myself in a mirror, or seen myself in third-person perspective, because I was also aware that my hair was no longer black, but a dark brown colour instead.
Memory Trigger: This memory was spontaneously triggered while I was laying in my bed.

Dream 765

'Jealousy & Abuse'

Date: 22 January 2017

Time: 22:00 - 06:00 (I woke up from this dream naturally)

Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Strong recall

This dream is part of my Dream Incubation Experiment - where I ask my subconscious mind: WHAT DOES MY HEART DESIRE? You can read the introductory post (and watch the accompanying Youtube video by clicking HERE - opens in new window)

Scene 1: My University Campus, Norwich - Day
I was at my University campus, which appeared slightly different. I wasn't aware this was my University while in the dream, only on reflection. I was outside the 'Registry' building, but it looked different - more like a composite of this area and also the train station in Sheringham (see Google Maps images below). 

I was standing watching a male dream character (known to me in the dream) smoking a cigarette outside the Registry building. This was an adult white male wearing light coloured clothing. I then became aware that this man was actually smoking cannabis. As I watched, a cartoon bolt of lightening came suddenly (with no thunder to warn of a storm) and struck the male dream character on the top of his head. I was shocked, but not scared. I didn't see what happened to this dream character. 

I walked a short distance away, round a corner and found a small square of concrete surrounded by grass. On the concrete section of the ground was a fox, which was laying on it's side. I perceived the fox to be an 'enemy' - or at least I did not like it. I was trying to summons it to me so that I could catch it. I am not sure what happened. 

Scene 3: An Exterior, Location Unknown - Evening
I was then in another exterior scene, although I am not sure where this was. There was a grassy bank and I was at the top of this, with a number of dream characters, including one female who was a composite between CDF (a female friend of PS, who is on my Facebook friends list); GS (a female student who I have met during the course of my employment on many occasions); and SH (a girl from my former primary/high school). The thing which links all of these random girls is that they share a certain facial appearance and have what I would describe as a typical 'English' complexion with pale skin, rosy cheeks and mid-brown hair. They are all of a similar build also. In the dream, this composite female dream character was neither a friend nor a foe, but was working with me in relation to something. There were other dream characters present and it seemed as if we had set up some kind of 'office' on top of the grassy area as we had laptops and other items which led me to think we were 'working' on something together. The female (I will refer to her as 'Sarah' for ease) was showing or telling me about emails/text messages sent between my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend, all of which related to me. These emails/messages appeared before my eyes in the space in front of me - black text on a white background. I am not sure how the words appeared in the dream (i.e. whether they were 'readable' in the normal sense), but I could read them perfectly in the dream. The font was Helvetica or Ariel. The messages were all abusive in that they criticised me and referred to me as 'fat' and 'insane'. I felt these were unjustified and wrong and I became angry. I was also wanting to get back together with PS and felt that this would now be impossible as he had revealed his true feelings about me in these emails/messages. I also felt that Sarah was on the side of PS and the new girlfriend, rather than me - despite the fact she was telling me she was 'neutral'. We argued - I was saying I was still in love with PS and I wanted Sarah to help me win him back and Sarah was telling me that she could not help me because PS was happy in his new relationship and she did not want to get involved. I got up from the grassy bank in temper and walked down from it, so that I was on lower ground, looking up at Sarah and the other dream characters who were still sitting (with laptops and other items) at the top. Sarah tried to pacify me and call me back up, but I resisted and started to run away, shouting something. 

I cannot recall what else happened in this dream. 

Extra Information: None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

• Ex-boyfriend (PS) as a dream character

Dreamsigns: 

• I was at a dream scene location which was a composite of 2 different familiar areas
• I saw a dream character get struck by lightening - the lightening looked like a cartoon
• I was trying to summons a dead fox
• 'Sarah' was a dream character composed of 3 different females known to me in real life
• The events regarding my ex-boyfriend PS 
• I could see emails or messages in the space in front of me

Day Residue

• A few days ago I mentioned that I dislike foxes as I see them when out in the forest and worry they might attack me
• The day of this dream I saw the Facebook profile of CDF - a friend of PS from London
• On the day of this dream I had visited the Blog of AWB, someone who PS dated a couple of times after we had separated - I had been angry after finding out that AWB had told PS that I was 'mental' (PS informed me of this, because we were still in contact at the time; I had been annoyed, because AWB seemed to be immersing herself in my circle of friends and now moving in on my ex-boyfriend who had supported me a lot during a mental breakdown I suffered around the time I started this Blog. Given AWB had the same form of mental health issues, I thought she had been extremely mistaken and nasty in the way she allegedly spoke about me to my ex)

Waking Reactions: 

I am not sure if this dream was related to my Dream Incubation Experiment. However, again there was the recurrent theme of an ex-boyfriend and in particular, PS. In the dream I was very jealous of his new relationship and annoyed about the messages which had been sent between him and his new girlfriend - and in reality, I would probably feel the same if these series of events happened in real life. 

I may have forgotten some details about this dream, as it was a long and complex one, which I seemed to recall very vividly upon waking (but did not write down immediately). If I remember anything else, I will record it below.

Here is my Youtube video where I describe my current Dream Incubation Experiment:

Dream 764

'Screamo Band'

Date: 21 January 2017

Time: 20:00 - 01:00 (I woke up from this dream naturally)

Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Strong recall

This dream is part of my Dream Incubation Experiment - where I ask my subconscious mind: WHAT DOES MY HEART DESIRE? You can read the introductory post (and watch the accompanying Youtube video by clicking HERE - opens in new window)

Scene 1: Sheringham - Late Afternoon/Dusk
I was with my Uncle, GC and we were in Sheringham. I know this, because I could vaguely see the Playing Fields (it is not a 'field' - it is a small play park with basketball hoops and swings/slides/roundabouts - see images below) in the distance. It was late afternoon, almost dusk and the sky was darkening. My Uncle was building something - or working on - connected with a shed or wooden buildings. The door of the building was open wide, but I did not look inside. GC then 'shifted' the position of the building (I am not sure how he did this), so that we were now directly overlooking the Playing Fields and I could see our location properly (Cromer Road, Sheringham). There was some conversation between GC and I. 

Scene 2: A Bookshop, Location Unknown - Time Unknown
I was standing in a queue at a bookshop. We were lining up alongside some shelves, with a single line of books displayed on the top shelf. There were many dream characters, but I only knew the person (cannot remember who - or even their gender) in front of me, who was the person I came here with. I knew I had returned to the shop to collect a book which I had previously seen here. I started looking at the books and realised that there were many Marilyn Monroe books (which I collect in real life) - too many for me to buy. Every time I looked at the books, there was a new Marilyn one I had not seen before. I was annoyed because I wanted to buy all the books to add to my collection, but was unable to, despite the fact that the books were fairly inexpensive.

Scene 3: An Exterior (which looked like the garden of a former flat I lived in on York Street, Norwich) - Day
I was then in a garden area - it was daytime. I thought this was the garden of a former home I rented in York Street, Norwich - but at the same time, I knew that Cromer Road, Sheringham where I had just been with GC (which is 25 miles away) was just round the corner. In the garden were members of my former hardcore/screamo band (I was the only female in the band, and the lead vocalist). The other members of the band were present - SL (my ex-boyfriend); DS (who is Irish); ST and IC. We were getting ready to perform a live show, but were quite unprepared. I was dressed in a strange outfit - which involved a black skirt and mismatched shoes - one black ballerina pump-style slip on and a black biker boot. On my ankle was a strange anklet, with a large yellow rectangular shape attached to it. I thought that this might make a good stage outfit (because it was so bizarre), but at the same time, I was confused as to why I wore it and considering changing it. I walked down a short flight of concrete steps to where my band were gathered with other dream characters, some of which were my family members, including my Mum, Nan and Uncle GC - who was talking about the building project he had been doing in Scene 1. Everyone was in a good mood and we discussed my clothing and the forthcoming live show, which was due to take place that night. I was looking at my mismatched shoes and decided to change so that I was wearing a pair of matching biker boots. I was also considering getting a large pink love heart tattooed on the back of my neck - I saw an image of what this would look like if I lifted up my hair.

I then saw that DS was re-writing some of my lyrics. In the dream, he was actually Scottish, rather than Irish. He was re-writing a particular song so that it was about 'Edinburgh' (which is where he was from in the dream). The new lyrics were complex and appeared to be written in a different language, which worried me, because I had no idea how I could learn these new lyrics by the live show. I thought I would fail, but DS was telling me that it would be fine and I would do well. The lyrics were very long (much longer than a typical song) and written in pencil on a sheet of paper. The song was going to be titled 'Edinburgh' too. Everything around us appeared to be dark when DS and I were discussing the new lyrics - although the mood was still quite positive. I could see DS had an electric guitar on a shoulder strap. 

I cannot recall what else happened in this dream.

Extra Information: None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

• Ex-boyfriend as a dream character

Dreamsigns: 

• My Uncle could move the landscape
• Cromer Road, Sheringham and York Street, Norwich were located very close
• I was with my former band members and getting ready to perform a live show that evening
• I was wearing mismatched shoes
• DS came from Edinburgh - and 'Scottish' was a different language

Day Residue

• A few days before this dream I had been telling DL about a small extension my Uncle had built for my cousin JC2, which was in the garden of their family home (so he can have independence) - JC2 is a music student and musician
• A few days before this dream I had mentioned to a friend that I had been in a screamo band while studying for my first undergraduate degree
• The day before this dream I had been telling a friend about someone I once dated who wore an electronic tag on his ankle following parole from a prison sentence
• I could see what a tattoo would look like on the back of my own neck
• I had been discussing the possibility of travelling to Edinburgh for the Trainspotting 2 (2017) premiere - so that I could meet Ewan McGregor - however, I got the date wrong anyway, as it took place on 22 January 2017, rather than 27 January 2017 (which is the cinematic release date)

Waking Reactions: 

I am not sure whether this dream was related to my Dream Incubation Experiment - again it involved one of my ex-boyfriends, although there was no romantic theme to this dream. I think that I had had a desire to return to making music of some kind, which has been a conscious wish, and the dream appears to reflect that, as I felt positive about the live show we were going to perform, other than the fact that DS was changing my lyrics and making them difficult for me to learn in a short time. I guess, this was a fear of failure dream in part.

Here is my Youtube video where I describe my current Dream Incubation Experiment: