Thursday, 30 July 2015

My Lucid Dreaming Channel on Youtube - Fans, Followers & Haters!



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My email address is tallulahlaghash@hotmail.co.uk.

Wednesday, 29 July 2015

Dream 465 (WILD & FALSE AWAKENING)

'Drugs Are Bad'
Dream date: 28 July 2015
I decided to attempt the WILD Technique (Wake Initiated/Induced Lucid Dreaming). However, while I was starting this technique, I had a strange certainty that I would end up in a false awakening and was quite concerned. I had been looking at macabre/horror-themed things on the internet (while planning my horror novel) and was worried that some of the ideas/imagery I had seen might enter or influence the content of my dreams - and in particular, a false awakening, which always makes things far more scary for me. I did not experience either hypnagogia or sleep paralysis during the time I was trying to perform the WILD Technique - I must have fallen asleep quite quickly.

In fact, I did have a false awakening. I woke up in my bed, completely paralysed (sleep paralysis). My room looked exactly as it does in real-life - nothing was different, but I instantly knew this was a false awakening because of not being able to move and the fact there was a strange buzzing noise in the room (electronic sounding), which often occurs when I experience a false awakening. I tried to get out of bed, but I couldn't. I was quite anxious, as I was in fear that something scary might happen or a dream character might enter my room while I was paralysed. I decided I wanted to wake up and I started shouting: 'Wake up!' to myself to try and force this, but it didn't happen. I tried my hardest to get out of bed (thinking that if I could exit my room I might be able to change the dream scene and enter a proper lucid dream (this has worked before). I eventually, after much struggling, managed to throw myself onto the floor and found I could only crawl, not stand up. I was naked (in actuality I was wearing a grey boob tube and grey pyjama bottoms in real-life, and I knew this in the lucid state). I crawled to my door and found that it was half missing - the wood at the bottom was splintered as if someone had kicked it in. There was also a strange plastic laundry basket propped against the wall where my set of drawers should have been. I crawled through the hole in my door and entered the bathroom. The bathroom looked as it does in real-life, but it was really cold. I was still naked. I managed to stand up, but could not move once I was upright. I was still paralysed. I kept thinking bad thoughts about what might happen while I was unable to move, and desperately wanted to wake up. I started screaming 'Wake up!' again and eventually woke up in my bed. 

I then went back to sleep and had a normal dream. I was in the kitchen (poorly lit) of an unfamiliar house, which it transpired that I lived in with a male dream character who was a composite of RD and someone else known to me, but not recalled from the dream. RD and I had a quantity of drugs which we wanted to hide. I think we were expecting a visit from the police. Our back garden was actually a very small cemetery/graveyard (with only 1 or 2 graves, a small stone wall, some grass and some weeping willow trees). The garden was on a slope, with the graves at the lowest part, which was closest to the back of the house/the kitchen door. It was night. I looked at one of the graves and told RD that it was 'custom' for drugs to be buried in this garden. We buried some of the drugs in the earth on top of one of the graves (not deep enough to hit the coffin/casket). We then went back into the kitchen.

I told RD that we should smoke a joint, and he went to roll one. Some other dream characters (unknown to me) came into the house and through to the kitchen. RD and I told them about us burying the drugs in the carpet. I looked at the half rolled joint which was on the kitchen table. There was a lot of cannabis in it and it looked like it would be a strong one. I was about to finish rolling the joint when RD started to put some crack cocaine in it, on top of the cannabis. I was not pleased as I did not want to take Class A drugs, especially not something dangerous and addictive as crack cocaine. I said to RD: 'Why did you ruin that spliff?' and he told me he had 'made it better' and encouraged me to smoke it. Despite my reservations, I lit the joint and started smoking it. I experienced the sensation of getting high/stoned from cannabis, but not necessarily any sensation of smoking crack (which I am not sure I could imagine anyway). The dream characters were all gathered around an L-shaped work surface having conversations with one another. I was aware that I was due to got to a class/lecture of some kind.

TIME: 06:30 - 11:00 hours (this dream started as soon as I 'fell asleep' and the second non-lucid part seemed to continue almost immediately after I went back to sleep after waking)
LUCIDITY: Approximately 20% of the dream was lucid - 5 minutes out of a 20 minute dream (estimated). Good clarity but minimal control (only able to move my body in limited ways and use my voice)
SPECIAL NOTES: REM rebound effect from recent cannabis use

Dream Information:
  • RD is a long-term university friend - I associate him with drugs

Dreamsigns:
  • I lived in an unfamiliar house with the RD dream character (IA - Inner Awareness)

Recurrent Dream Themes:
  • Cannabis
  • Being enrolled in a class/learning institution

Potential Day/Dream Residue:
None of note

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
I wonder if my certainty that I might have a false awakening (I suppose I thought this might happen as it usually does when I am experiencing the REM rebound effect a few days after cannabis use has halted) made it more likely to happen. Setting a clear intention to lucid dream often helps to trigger lucidity in DILDs (Dream Initiated/Induced Lucid Dreaming), so perhaps even though I tried to perform a WILD (which often results in a false awakening for me), the idea being in my mind influenced what happened. I did not enjoy the false awakening, as I was unable to control it or make it a full lucid dream. I wish I had thought to spin around once I was in the bathroom, as this can help change a dream scene/environment or content and it may have helped me have a more enjoyable lucid experience. 


Further Articles You Might Be Interested In:

Monday, 27 July 2015

Dream 464

'Virtual Reality Machine'
Dream date: 27 June 2015
I was in my mum and stepdad's flat in Sheringham, seated on the floor in the hallway, in front of the mirrored wardrobe. To my right was a screen - a TV or laptop. I was watching a movie - in the movie, there was a man who was being frogmarched between two prison officers in what looked like a prison shower room. In the background I could see other prisoners or male dream characters taking showers. The prisoner was dressed in a beige prison jumpsuit. 

Strapped to his leg was a metal device, with an orange plastic carrier bag hanging from it. The metal part looked like a leg brace - it was above the knee, like a garter. The rest of this leg was bare. This orange bag was filled with shit. The machine was a 'virtual reality device' which made the user experience a completely different reality without needing to use a headset - therefore their virtual environment is experienced in 360 degrees, like 'real-life'. 

The prisoner was using the virtual reality device on his leg to change a sexual experience he was having with a woman - instead of seeing him having sex, the prisoner was holding onto the side of a huge skyscraper structure made of wrought iron or scaffolding - it was as high as the Eiffel Tower and he had no safety harness (none was needed since this was virtual reality) - he started to do pull-ups. This was the physical simulation of sex. I saw him orgasm (the expression on his face and sounds he made, not an actual ejaculation). The sky behind him was a perfect blue and there was a city below him.

I then saw him, covered in soap bubbles, using parallel bars in a dark and sparsely populated gym, to do some 'dips'. This was the 'sex machine' in the gym. He was still wearing the virtual reality machine.

I was distracted from watching this bizarre movie by noises made by people also in the flat with me - including my stepdad and my nan as well as other (unseen) dream characters. My stepdad started discussing the movie with me - he had seen it before. I then decided that I needed to start the movie from the beginning and pay more attention to it this time as I could not work out the plot line or what had happened. The movie scenes described above were watched on the screen again. I was aware that this was a pornographic movie. 

I was then seated in a room with PS - I think it was a kitchen and we were sitting around a small square table. It was light - sunshine was coming in through the window which was beside us. The table was beige plastic. TS came into the room with a catalogue, open on a page which showed a metal device. It was square and silver, with buttons and switches. It was a virtual reality machine, much like the one seen in the movie I had just watched (twice) -although very different in appearance, in that it wasn't a leg brace design and didn't have the orange plastic bag of shit hanging from it. 

TS was ignoring me, only speaking to PS. She said he should buy the virtual reality device and seemed excited by the prospect. I wondered if he wanted it for the dangerous sex. The virtual reality machine cost £249. I told PS that it was not proven to work and it might be a fraud or a waste of his money (I was aware that the virtual reality machine in the movie was not necessary technologically possible). PS said that he wanted to risk it. I said: 'Wearing your own shit in a bag on your leg is disgusting!' but PS told me that this virtual reality device didn't have the orange bag of shit like in the movie. He started to use his mobile phone to order the device from the catalogue, although I disapproved. 

TIME: 07:00 - 11:00 hours (I am not sure when this dream took place)
LUCIDITY: None
SPECIAL NOTES: REM rebound effect from cannabis use

Dream Information:

  • PS is my ex-boyfriend and TS is his older sister

Dreamsigns:
  • The 'virtual reality device' was an impossible object and the way it operated was also impossible (A - Action/F - Form)

Recurrent Dream Themes:
  • PS as a dream character

Potential Day/Dream Residue:

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:

This was such a bizarre dream - I enjoyed it, even though not much happened when I reflect on it (I watched the same movie twice, had a discussion about it with my stepdad and then PS ordered something from a catalogue)!

* I think I may have forgotten some aspects of this dream - in particular some parts which occurred between me watching the movie and then the scene with PS. If I recall anything further, I will record it below.

Online Psychology & Personality Tests

I haven't been able to record any dreams recently as I have experienced some disturbance in my sleep and dreaming patterns. This means I haven't updated my Blog in some time. I thought it was time to post something, so for fun, I decided to take some online personality and psychology tests and record the results online to share.

You may have seen my previous post 'Am I a Narcissist?' where I did a similar exercise.

Please note that online personality and psychology tests may vary in accuracy and are flawed in that they (a) rely on self-assessment and answers may change depending on the day the test is taken, which means results may be different if the same test is taken by the same person on separate occasions; and (b) they use set definitions which are based on gross generalisations.

This article is intended to be light-hearted and entertaining, not scientific. 

Which Nationality Are You Subconsciously?

Online Personality Test
From www.16personalities.com

'The Debater'
ENTP - Extroversion, Intuition, Thinking, Perception

Dominant: Extroverted Intuition
Auxiliary: Introverted Thinking
Tertiary: Extroverted Feeling
Inferior: Introverted Sensing

Often referred to as 'The Lawyer Type'

From the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Test based on the work of Carl Jung, Psychological Types (1921)

  • Ultimate 'Devil's Advocate' - thrives on shredding arguments and beliefs and tearing down other peoples' opinions and views
  • Overly argumentative - using impartiality and logic and enjoys rooting out logical inconsistencies 
  • No deeper purpose/strategic goal, other than fun and mental sparring - may be combative and confrontational rather than cooperative
  • Non-intentional and not agenda-driven
  • Often distributes energies and enthusiasm across a number of diverse activities and interests
  • Confident, outgoing and extrovert as well as pragmatic, expressive, introspective and informative
  • Non-judgemental and often non-conformist
  • Exercise of quick wit and broad knowledge base - cerebral and verbally gifted
  • Ability to connect disparate ideas to prove point - tends to weave together insights and experiences from various sources to understand the whole better
  • Can handle different strands of thought simultaneously and consider numerous alternatives at once
  • Finds and interprets hidden meanings/patterns/relationships in things (usually overlooked by other personality types)  - always asks 'what if?'
  • Pattern-seeking - can often perceive complex inter-relationships between people, ideas and concepts
  • Can identify the minute distinctions which define the 'essence' of things
  • Likes to minimise effort and risk
  • Seeks precision - especially in expression, but may neglect small details in their own lives
  • When under stress may become obsessed with minor details
  • Rarely starts with a plan or blueprint and are great at improvising
  • Uncompromisingly honest, but often argues for positions they don't believe in
  • Intellectually independent, with free-form thinking
  • Can step into another's shoes and argue from their perspective
  • Good sense of reasoning and understanding of opposing ideas
  • Likes to question prevailing modes of thought
  • Able to push ideas in new directions
  • Loves to brainstorm and 'think big', but avoids actual work/implementation/physical effort at all costs
  • Can lead to issues when questioning or challenging those in authority - tends to be critical or sceptical of majority views
  • Tends to develop own world views/theories passively - does not filter incoming information, but does not accept what they are told at face value either
  • Unyielding honesty and 'hard rationality' means they can often be blunt or lack sensitivity/compassion
  • Often considered unconcerned or aloof
  • Can appear unpredictable and random at times
  • Intolerant - may pass the threshold of other peoples' sensitivity in arguments and likely to discard people whose view/opinions they cannot relate to or disrespect
  • Problems with those who are 'conflict-adverse'
  • Often 'burns bridges' with others and isolate self on an emotional level - but gets on well with like-minded persons
  • Treats others as they would like to be treated - dislikes being 'molly-coddled' or when people beat around the bush, especially when asking for a favour
  • Often respected for knowledge, vision, confidence and sense of humour - but usually struggles to utilise these qualities as the basis for deeper relationships/friendships
  • Difficulty in harnessing natural talents or skills/qualities
  • Often fails to follow through on tasks - high dependence on others to set ideas into motion and opportunities missed if they seem like hard work
  • Procrastination - and a failure to always display their true capabilities through laziness or distractability 
  • Knowledgeable about abstract concepts
  • Quick, flexible mind which is always absorbing information about their environment so as to better understand the world they live in
  • Can shift patterns of thought easily
  • Original, with little attachment to tradition and able to discard existing systems and knowledge
  • Creative and innovative, with a deep dislike for practicalities and responsibilities
  • Enjoys arts and culture
  • Charismatic, possessing a 'way with words', but lack of feelings or emotional understanding may make them appear aggressive or harsh
  • Has the advantage of intuitively understanding other people's motivations and agendas
  • Energetic and entertaining, but initial excitement or interest can quickly wane and they find it difficult to focus
  • Ideas and plans often fail to come into fruition without a supportive network of other people to put them into operation
  • Demands a high level of intellectualism from romantic partner
  • Tests partner's limits
  • Values open-mindedness and spontaneity in a partner
  • Ideas of fun often rooted in self-improvement - will often sweep their partner along in this pursuit
  • Requires high levels of freedom and autonomy in relationships and hates to feel 'tied-down'
  • Commonly judges partners on the degree to which they inspire feelings of love/adoration/infatuation
  • Sees a relationship as in a state of growth or stagnation, but not a 'happy status quo' - can be demanding and difficult
  • Few preconceived limits to intimacy with partners - exploratory and experimental
  • Emotional obliviousness to partner's needs - disdain for emotional sensitivity - can be cutting and hurtful and seem unfeeling
  • Most compatible with other 'Intuitives'
  • If they adapt to the point of losing themselves in their partner's lifestyle, they quickly become resentful and act passive-aggressively towards their partner
  • If raised in non-affluent circumstances will tend to be non-materialistic and display meagre/minimalist standards of living - lack of importance placed on finances
  • Does not require loyalty, support or emotional feedback in friendships and hate to be patronised/condescended to
  • Will often test compatibility with a potential friend by engaging them in a difficult argument
  • Does not tend to take arguments/debates personally
  • Competitive, restless and easily bored
  • May suffer from anxiety and disruptive/erratic sleeping patterns
  • Often distractable and scattered - leading to ADHD diagnosis
  • Great at communication - accustomed to adopting other peoples' language and frames/terms of reference
  • Difficulty in relating to emotional expression of others - find's it difficult to provide a 'shoulder to cry on' for others
  • Not known for outward affection or empathy although they may intuitively understand the other person's position/feelings
  • Adept at manipulating and directing relationships between means and ends
  • Does not seek to be popular or liked by everyone
  • May find parenting difficult - especially emotional accessibility
  • Distaste for rules and regulations
  • Likely to provide offspring with freedom and independence
  • Likely to create relaxed, unorthodox environments for their family - not heavily structured settings
  • Will encourage offspring to voice opinions, question and challenge existing ideas and find alternatives
  • May be exasperated and require support in dealing with emotional crises of offspring
  • Adaptable in most careers - but ideas-based rather than people-based
  • Dislikes managing others and being managed, although social adaptability means they are often natural leaders
  • Great at using the written word to communicate
  • May frustrate others with their subtly-shifting goals
  • Rewarded in careers with intellectual stimulation which fuels their natural curiosity
  • Appreciation of working alone/independently
  • Best careers include: lawyers, writers, diplomats, actors scientists (more likely to be popularisers or science than actual scientists), psychologists, analysts, politicians, educators - also freelance work/consultancy
  • Likely to find it difficult to maintain a career which allows them to function as a true ENTP
  • Enjoys working out what 'makes other people tick' and may become bogged down in analysis
  • Dislike for routine, structure, formality etc
  • Impatience is common - but may need to be in an environment for some time in order for colleagues to appreciate their qualities/skills as quantifying them can be difficult
  • Straightforward expectations in the workplace - they demand that superiors listen to their ideas and engage them in robust debates
  • Comfortable challenging or opposing those in superior positions without fear
  • Will gladly take fair criticism as long as it is logical and performance-based
  • Cannot tolerate simple, routine, manual or monotonous tasks/work - prefers complex challenges and diverse projects
  • May be polarising in workplace - and frustrating for practical and task-based colleagues to handle
  • Fatigued by minutiae and repetition 
  • Cannot tolerate those who say 'yes' when they have issues or complaints about what they are agreeing to 
  • Witty wordplay, a dark, perverse sense of humour and extrovert personality make it easy to attract new friends, but they find peer-to-peer relationships difficult to maintain
  • Good at objectively assessing ideas and solutions to problems
  • May jump from one thing to another without completing tasks/projects - and often has multiple projects on the go at the same time, in varied stages of (in)completion
  • Linked to dependency (reliance on others to complete tasks) and hypomania - as well as anti-social personality types
  • Described by Jung as being a 'female' type, but actually tends to be more common in males - ENTPs make up approximately 2 - 5 % of the population
  • Often suppresses 'introverted sensing' meaning they dwell on small matters - with tragic-comical results

As much as I am sceptical of online personality tests, the results of this one were so accurate that I was overwhelmed. I recognise so many of the above qualities in myself. I was not aware of the MBIT categories prior to taking this test (I was familiar with the concept of the test, but had not studied the specifics beyond reading up on my own 'type'). 

There is no point in me expanding too much on how I perceive my own personality - if you have read the above list (paraphrased from the actual test results page on the website, with additional information sourced from elsewhere) then you will already have a pretty in-depth idea about what I am like as a person. I have underlined the parts I most strongly agree with.

It is true that I love to argue - and play Devil's Advocate - which is why I have always been involved in debating and mooting - and qualified as a Lawyer! It's good to see that I chose the right career for my supposed personality type, although I completely agree that I am easily distracted and bored; am compelled to challenge authority and conventions; hate routines and hard work and find it incredibly difficult to find and keep a career (which is why I have elected to go back into academia, where I can work to my own schedule, independently, in an idea-centric occupation). 

I am often accused of being blunt, harsh, unfeeling, unempathetic and prone to isolating myself so as not to feel 'tied down' to other people. I find it very easy to enter into new relationships, but quickly become bored of them and hate romance and affection from a partner. I do agree that I can be passive-aggressive if my independence is hindered - and I am non-materialistic and unconcerned with finances which allows me to adapt well and persevere in difficult environmental or economical situations.

As an atheist humanist I would agree that rationality, logic, objectivity, knowledge etc are intrinsic aspects of my character.

I was very impressed by this personality test!

Jung Typology Test
From www.humanmetrics.com

I decided to take another BMTI test (on a different day, without reviewing the questions/answers in my previous test) to see what result I would get. I received a different result from the previous test. I feel that I got a different result because in this test I answered in a way which highlighted my desire to be alone in a quiet environment and my lack of interest in socialising. This is a strange paradox, because I am a loud, extrovert personality with a lot of social confidence. 

However, because I am quite misanthropic and dislike being part of large crowds (because they are most likely to contain people who annoy me), I tend to enjoy my own company or one-on-one activities with either a partner or a male friend. I dislike other females because I do not relate to them well. This gives the impression that I am introverted, but in truth, I just prefer to keep my personal circles small so I don't have to contend with other people's behaviour or actions and to minimise the risk of their lives interfering with my own.

It is also notable that the precise breakdown of my personality characteristics is the same in both tests - the main difference is the level of dominance given to each.

The INTP is also known as 'The Logician'.

Dominant: Introverted Thinking
Auxiliary: Extroverted Intuition
Tertiary: Introverted Sensing
Inferior: Extroverted Feeling

  • INTPs are quiet, modest and aloof - with creative possibilities
  • The most logically precise of the personality types - they are great analysts and abstract thinkers
  • Solitary, eccentric and independent
  • Open-minded and objective
  • Enthusiastic
  • Honest
  • Can be very private and withdrawn - surroundings are considered to be intrusion into their thoughts
  • A love for spotting patterns and discrepancies
  • A tendency to share ideas which are not fully developed
  • Use other people as a soundboard to debate with themselves
  • Weaknesses include poor organisation, insensitivity to social niceties and a tendency to get lost in abstractions
  • May appear unreliable, absent-minded and unpunctual - they lack the ability to maintain regular progress reports and may skip meals or sleep due to infatuations with their interests/occupations
  • May appear condescending - especially when dealing with less intellectual people
  • Uninterested in practical day-to-day activities or maintenance
  • Insightful and unbiased
  • INTPs are 'Rationals' but appear to daydream and drift a lot, often seeming pensive or detached
  • Become combative if theories/ideas attacked/criticised
  • Can become incoherent when excited
  • Thoughtful, analytical and spend a lot of time alone
  • Typical careers include lawyer, scientist (physicist), mathematician, psychologist, philosopher, engineer, inventor, architect - also freelance/consultancy work
  • Less at ease in caring professions
  • Value their autonomy greatly
  • Resist attempts to change them made by others
  • Title and status are not important
  • They distrust authority
  • Accept ideas based on merit rather than tradition or conformity - they deliver unorthadox solutions to problems
  • Little patience for social customs which defy logic or reason
  • Prefer to work informally with others as equals or alone rather than being led by others - although paradoxically, they tend to work best when paired with one other person
  • Because they are so focused on their own thoughts they may seem aloof, unconcerned or oblivious to the needs/feelings of others - they are often seen as insensitive
  • Able to articulate principles and can grasp theoretical constructs - they can explain complex ideas to others easily and excel in written communication
  • Ability to handle complexity means they may over-complicate matters in a failed attempt to crystallise an idea or concept as clearly as possible
  • May seem rebellious
  • Driven to understand a debate from all angles
  • Haunted by a fear of failure and often second-guess themselves
  • Low tolerance for the emotions of others - may find it difficult to relate to the emotions of others
  • Constant reassessment of thoughts/theories mean that they can stagnate and the INTP becomes lost in an intangible world where nothing is put into practice
  • Enjoy flirting, wordplay and intellectual games with their partners
  • Shy, hate to be the centre of attention and do not like to risk rejection
  • Prefer their partner to make the first move and commit as an act of reciprocation
  • Relationships are taken seriously and they are honest and direct from the start
  • Gifts, surprises, complex social plans and romance are unimportant - it may create problems if their partner's expect or desire these things, as INTPs will tend to overlook or neglect them and are bad at picking up on the emotional needs of others
  • INTPs try to avoid conflict in personal relationships
  • INTPS do not look for emotional support, social validation or shared experienced with friends - they prize intellectual depth and will spark with someone who shares their interests and passions
  • Dislike popular culture or low-brow pursuits
  • Few people can be bothered to penetrate the surface of the INTP and they have a small circle of friends - it is not easy to establish a true friendship with an INTP
  • Emotional reactions and responses are very strong - but not considered to be trustworthy (the 'second-guessing' and self-analysis). They need to be tempered by reason and logic
  • INTPS are good at ambiguous or unreliable friendships and tend to keep friends based on intellectual merit, not material wealth or status
  • INTPs struggle to understand the raw emotions and irrationality of children
  • There is a relaxed, intellectual approach to parenting - and minor behavioural problems are overlooked
  • No intent or motivation to control other people
  • Not demanding parents - no need for traditional paths to be followed as they are happy for their children to have freedom to be individuals and intellectualism and tolerance are regarded as more important than conventional milestones
  • Lack of empathy
  • Not suited to corporate positions in workplace
  • Innovative, creative and able to build models for underlying principles
  • Self-driven with high personal standards, although low environmental and material needs
  • Can be hard for people-centric persons to understand
  • Living primarily in their own minds and have little interest in social interactions
  • Prefer a flat workplace hierarchy
  • They detest service-orientated careers or jobs which involve the day-to-day implementation of a scheme
  • Relative indifference to job security can make it difficult to trust them
  • Often require someone to keep them in order and put their unrefined ideas into practice for them - they cannot be forced into changing their working methods and pep-talks fall on deaf ears
  • Difficulty getting up in the morning
  • Dislikes socialising with work colleagues
  • Good at developing complex, insightful interpretations of other peoples' motivations and actions
  • INTPs are rare - approximately 1 - 5% of the population

 Psychopathology Test
From www.psychcentral.com

Emotional Type Test
From www.psychcentral.com

Emotional IQ Type Test
From www.psychtests.com


The 'Big Five' Personality Test

From www.outofservice.com

Color Test
From www.colorquiz.com

Who Do You Want To Be? - Personality Test
From www.personalityassessor.com
Note that the screenshots for my answers were from a different personality test which I was unable to use, because despite being advertised as free, you could only access your results if you paid for them. I would never pay for online test results! I therefore started a different test, but noticed that the questions were basically identical. 

However, it was impossible to screenshot them as the screen changed to the next 'page' of the test as soon as you clicked on an answer and there was no option to go back. I have therefore included the original, unused answers from the earlier test to demonstrate my answers. 

The results are from the second test. The main difference between the first and second tests were that on the second test, I was asked to what extent I wanted to change certain my perceived personality traits. In short, I elected to remain the same in everything to do with education, knowledge, art/creativity (because my it would be impossible for me to educate myself more than I already do and I am content with my level of artistic appreciation). I elected to become more organised, efficient, thorough and hard-working (as I think I am quite lazy and disorganised and this is a source of stress for me). I elected to become less cold, rude, insensitive and aloof (because these are criticisms of me made by various ex-boyfriends and friends). If the 'personality trait' seemed to be objectively 'negative' I stated I wished to change for the better. If the 'personality trait' appeared to be objectively positive, or of subjective benefit to my unique circumstances then I stated that I wished to remain the same or increase it.

Your Attachment Styles
From www.personalityassessor.com
Note that with questions related to my 'father' I have answered in relation to my stepdad. My biological father is dead and I did not have a relationship (or any real contact) with him when he was alive. 

In relation to questions about my 'romantic partner' I have answered generally, based on my most recent previous relationships and my current feelings.

In relation to questions about my 'best/closest friend' I had difficulty as I don't really have a 'best friend' or close friends at all (through choice). My closest friends tend to be males with whom I share common interests, but not necessarily people I choose to discuss feelings with - not because I am uncomfortable or hesitant to do so, but because I don't feel the need. I am quite a loner and choose not to socialise because it's rare I like someone enough to call them my friend.

I hope you enjoyed reading the results from my psychological and personality tests. I will upload some more in the near future! Let me know what you think in the Comments Section below!