Monday, 27 July 2015

Dream 463

'Trust Me, I'm a Lawyer'
Dream date: 26 June 2015
I was in an environment which I cannot really describe because it was both inside and outside at the same time. The inside part was dark and I think there was water which was visible - perhaps a lake or the sea, or maybe just a large swimming pool. There were also steps (to the left, adjacent to the water) which led to the outside - and more water, surrounding this entire area, which was grey concrete. 

There was no visible furniture or fixtures in the inside part of the environment - only some kind of rail or barrier (I think this was what was enclosing the water) which was waist height, and a counter or surface. There may have been some blue lights, because I recall the scene was illuminated this way. The bottom of the steps were 'inside' (there was some kind of partial roof) and then at the top, there was a second open air level, which reminded me slightly of an area on my university campus (some outside steps which lead from  the road level to the 'upper walkway') and also more of the lake/sea/swimming pool. It was daylight and the sky was grey and cloudy.

I was aware that LD intended to marry me the next day. I was not happy at all. I am not sure (from what I knew to be true in the dream/my 'dream thoughts' and also what I can recall upon waking) that I was even in a proper relationship with LD - there was no sense that he was my boyfriend/fiancé, or that I had any feelings of love for him. There was just a feeling of crushing oppression and misery.

I was discussing the forthcoming marriage with dream characters - including my mum and either my nan or my stepdad. They seemed to be more positive and excited about the prospect than I was. I was trying to think of any way in which I could avoid getting married and was growing increasingly angry at LD (not present) for trying to 'trap me'. I started to argue with my family and the dream characters that I did not want to get married at all. I realised at this point that they were already dressed up for the wedding - my mum was wearing a dark rusty orange colour with a round fascinator on her head in a matching colour (not what my mum would normally wear in my opinion, but then she has never had to get dressed up for one of my (non-existent) wedding parties). 

I was pacing about, stressed and anxious. I then said: 'I can't marry him anyway, he's already married!' (this realisation came to me in an instant and seemed like the best get-out clause possible). My mum (or nan) said that this did not matter and I said (incredulously, sarcastically): 'Oh, is bigamy legal now then?' Someone (unrecalled who) said: 'He can get divorced then!' I laughed (sarcastically as I was feeling angry still) and said: 'In less than one day! That's not possible!' My family was trying to argue this point with me, and at this stage in the dream, I realised I was in the 'Blue Bar' section of my university Student Union bar, standing beside the bar. I explained that as a lawyer, I was aware of the 5 legal grounds for divorce, which is an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage caused by:
  • Adultery
  • Unreasonable behaviour
  • Desertion (for 2 years in the last 2.5 years)
  • Living separately for 2 years - agree to the divorce
  • Living apart for 5 years - regardless of agreement to divorce
I gave these reasons as a form of a list, ticking them off my fingers. My nan asked how I knew this information so I said: 'I studied Family Law!' Someone said: 'The marriage could be annulled' to which I explained that it could not, as LD and his wife had lived together for approximately a year following the marriage and therefore had no right to an annulment as it was neither 'void' (not legally valid due to age, familial relationship, fraud or bigamy) or 'voidable' (defective due to a lack of consent, no consummation, presence of an STD or female pregnant by a man other than husband at time of marriage). Someone said: 'Fraud might work...' to which I responded: 'It's me being frauded!' I was becoming more helpless in trying to argue that there could be no legal marriage - and that I did not want to marry LD anyway. A male dream character (unknown to me in real-life), wearing a grey suit led me up the steps to the outside level. There was some discussion with him which I cannot recall. While we were walking up the steps, a black dog ran past us really fast.

I was then in a toy shop - it was large, with a mezzanine level. I was standing on this mezzanine floor, beside the wooden stairs. I saw that beside a display of some toys, was a basket containing white fluffy puppies. Angelina Jolie was present. She asked an employee: 'Are these for sale?' (meaning the puppies). The employee told her they were, and Angelina grabbed them and ran down the stairs and out of the shop. I was aware that she was liberating/saving them and supported her actions. I shouted to her (as she disappeared out of the store): 'You go Angelina!'

I was then in my nan's house, standing in the doorway between the living-room and the kitchen. A female (known to me, cannot recall who) was standing at the sink. This female was asking me about the chests of my ex-boyfriends (i.e. did they have chest hair?) I said that several of my ex-boyfriends had smooth chests. I then saw that I was standing next to a composite character of MT/HL (both of whom are ethnically Chinese) - I pulled up his shirt (he was also wearing blue jeans with a leather belt) to show his smooth chest.

I was then in a room which looked like a post office or a bank. There was a counter with a roped off section where customers queued, and to the side (in front of the entrance), a small table and some chairs. I was seated at the small table, with PS and some other dream characters (unrecalled). Standing in the queue to be served was a middle-aged woman with grey hair, She was quite fat and dressed in a raincoat (grey). I was telling PS and the dream characters how she was disabled, although I am not sure what her disability actually was, as it was not obvious in the dream and I did not state specifically. I then saw she was accompanied by an older black male - who closely resembled Lawrence Fishburne. I told the people I was with: 'He's auditioning with her to be angels'. We watched them stand quietly in the queue for a while and then I realised I was holding a brown envelope/letter (although I did not read the writing on the envelope). I said: 'It's her (meaning the middle-aged woman) appeal paperwork'. PS asked me what I meant and I said: 'She disagreed with a decision of the court, so she appealed'. None of my companions seemed to know what an appeal was, so I said: 'I'm a lawyer so I've handled appeals. You tell the court why the decision was wrong and then they hear the case' (this is a very simplistic explanation, but it was sufficient in the dream). 

I then woke up from this dream.

TIME: 09:30 - 14:00 hours (I woke up from this dream)
SPECIAL NOTES: REM rebound effect from recent cannabis use

Dream Information:
  • LD is a male who I have known for a long time. We used to chat on the internet (as he lives near my home town and I live in the city, about 45 minutes away and we never met up). LD and I are still 'officially' friends, but we stopped talking because he was looking for a romantic committed relationship with a woman and I was not interested in this. He disliked my views on romance (hate it - I would prefer to have a sexual relationship without 'love') and 'slut-shamed' me for confessing that I like to make pornographic photographs for my sexual partners (of which he was not one, he never got off the bench to be fair). Paradoxically, although he said he was a 'romantic guy looking for love' and not like 'most men' who were only wanting to use women for sex (he really isn't much of a modern feminist, is he?). I made it very clear I did not want a relationship of any kind and further, I wasn't going to have sex with him. I would never have sex with someone who prioritised love and intimacy from the outset, because it doesn't excite me and leads to confusion and consequential stress if I want casual fun and the other person wants long-term commitment. Plus I was not available sexually at that point anyway. He then decided I wasn't even worth talking to as a friend (proving he was only white-knighting/trying to sweet-talk me because of an agenda he could not admit to himself) - and completely stopped all communication with me. These details are quite in-depth, but necessary to explain the strong reaction I had to the dream

  • I was being forced into a marriage which I was opposed to - although in the dream I maintained my real-life anti-marriage stance, the fact I was being forced/rail-roaded into it was an impossible scenario (IA - Inner Awareness/C - Context)
  • My family seemed to doubt my knowledge of the law (IA - Inner Awareness)

Recurrent Dream Themes:
None of note

Potential Day/Dream Residue:
  • LD is still married to a woman who I dislike, although they are estranged, having broken up quite soon after the marriage. I was aware of their wedding, not only because I saw the photographs on Facebook and my family told me about it - and I saw him on his 'Stag Night' when my companion (a male called MS) got into a violent brawl (on the train and at the train station) with members of the Stag Party (the bride-to-be's thuggish brother and step-father). The police attended the scene and I had to do the talking (as a qualified lawyer, all my friends expect me to deal with 'the law', even when I'm clearly intoxicated, as I was that night). I had been describing the 'Fight Night' (I also fought with MS that night because he was out of control drunk and in a nasty mood) to my friend, JD - who happens to know MS and had seen him at a party recently. It may be that this conversation about MS and 'Fight Night' brought associated memories of LD, his 'Stag Night' and subsequent failed marriage
  • I have been watching Peep Show Series 4 - in which the main story arc is how Mark is 'accidentally' engaged to be married to Sophie (my actual first name is Sophie!), the long-term object of his romantic obsession - but now wants to avoid marrying her at all costs as he has come to his senses
  • I told JD and DL - on separate occasions in the past week - that I am 'against the concept of marriage' as anything more than a legal contract between parties to ensure their security. Being married does not make a relationship more committed or loving or stable/resilient - to me, commitment means knowing you can walk away at any point without having to legally dissolve the relationship (at a cost); and divide assets and finances - but choosing to stay in the relationship and make it work regardless. I also dislike wedding ceremonies. I do support marriage equality though - everyone should have the right to marry and be happy (or divorce and be miserable!)
  • I have recently (throughout the past week) seen many parents dressed formally for the Graduation Ceremonies held at my university
  • I saw a reference to 'bigamy' online the other day (in relation to a celebrity male whom I cannot recall who was under suspicion of being a bigamist). Then, more recently, I was discussing an idea for a new reality TV show with DL - where celebrity contestants would be forced to marry one another and compete at tasks to avoid the public voting them off the show. I said the celebrities' real-life spouses would watch and comment on the action from the TV studio. DL asked how the celebrities could 'marry' on the show if they were already married - and I joked that the TV production company would try and petition Parliament for bigamy to be repealed and polygamous marriage to be legalised
  • I saw some online news articles about Angelina Jolie the day of this dream while reading the celebrity sections
  • I am a member of various 'dog' pages on Facebook, and recently got into a debate about the private buying (as opposed to shelter-rescue) of dogs. I think buying dogs is fine - because if they are unsold, they may end up neglected, mistreated or in a shelter anyway, so buying is still 'saving' them. However, many of the group members think buying a puppy encourages unethical and cruel backyard breeding, so this is a hot topic of debate
  • A few days before this dream I had a conversation with DL about male body hair and personal grooming, during which I mentioned that several of my exes had little body hair and many of my ex partners also like to de-fuzz certain parts of their body. I had mentioned that neither MT, HL or PS had chest hair
  • I have recently been watching Lawrence Fishburne play 'Jack Crawford' in Hannibal
  • In an episode of Peep Show which I watched the day of this dream, Jeremy receives a brown envelope containing an order that he attend jury duty at Crown Court - a credit card fraud trial

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
I had no strong waking thoughts or emotions linked to this dream. I did not enjoy the prospect of being forced into a marriage I did not want, but this scene was more frustrating than exciting or scary and the rest of the action in the dream seemed quite banal or 'flat'. I didn't really feel connected to this dream - I experienced it from the first-person perspective and was part of the action, but I felt like I was wandering through the dream environment and casually engaging with the dream characters rather than 'experiencing' the dream world on a deeper or more thought/feeling-provoking level. I would liken this dream experience to be similar to watching a bad movie, but having no power to change the channel. It's entertainment, but weak and out of your control.

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