Wednesday 30 March 2016

Dream 598

'She Doesn't Even Care About Her Brain Being On Show!'
Dream date: 29 March 2016

This is Day 30 of my Dream Incubation Experiment. You can read the details and methodology of my latest Dream Incubation Experiment by clicking HERE

Before I had this normal non-lucid dream, I decided that I would try to induce a WILD (Wake-Initiated Lucid Dream). I did this by trying to induce sleep paralysis, using the common method for WILD. After what felt like about 10 minutes, I lost feeling in my body as I had managed to not move at all, other than breathing and swallowing. I then felt my body begin to vibrate. 

I felt the sensation similar to being stroked by a feather or something similar running up and down my legs, but was able to accept this was one of those weird sensory perceptions you experience when attempting WILD, so I just ignored it. 

During this experience, I was beginning to see the hypnagogia - unlike other times, I could not see representative images/figures, just phosphenes - small specks of white light (circular) which were falling in front of the darkness of my closed eyes, slowly, like snowflakes. I attempted dream visualization, and managed to 'see' a room with red chairs in it and a large window, but could get no further than this, which is unusual for me, as I often experience vivid figurative or representative images during hypnagogia, or when I am relaxed, with my eyes closed and fully awake (I have a strong visual imagination).

I heard 2 separate noises - one was my doorbell (which I usually hear when I am in sleep paralysis, although often, when I am not inducing the state, I sometimes assume I am hearing it for real) and moments later a very loud noise in my left ear which sounded like a deep/low note being played aggressively on a piano. This made my adrenaline rush and my heart start racing, even though I was trying to remain calm. After hearing the 'piano note', I started to lose the feeling of sleep paralysis and could not see any more hypnagogic imagery. I also started to feel uncomfortable - my entire face and body felt itchy and fidgety, so I stopped and decided I would just go to sleep as normal. 

Checking my phone confirmed that this experience had lasted around 45 minutes. This is the longest I have managed to lay still for the Mind Awake/Body Asleep state without needing to move or change position. If the auditory hallucinations had not alarmed and scared me, I may have managed to achieve the WILD.

This dream was recalled much more  vividly when I first woke up, but I became distracted by my phone upon waking, and then forgot some of the elements, so that only the general narrative and a few very poignant/significant scenes or themes remain in my memory as I record this. It is extra-annoying that I have forgotten a large amount of this dream, as it seemed to be highly relevant to my Dream Incubation Experiment. 

Scene 1: An Interior Scene (Location Unknown) - Time Unknown
I was with a male dream character (unrecalled) and we were planning to do some illegal activity. Murder and drugs were mentioned, as was needing to get an 'anti-contamination suit' so as not to leave forensic evidence. I was aware that Anthony Head - the actor - was also present, but I was referring to him as 'Giles', his character in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I cannot recall what else happened, although my family were not pleased with whatever it was that the male dream character and I were planning to do.

I then saw CW - one of a set of female twins who I went to high school with - sitting on an office chair (a swivel chair), at a desk. There were a number of other (probably male) dream characters also sitting around the desk) CW looked much younger and smaller than she really is (child-sized, not average female adult-sized). Her feet were up on the desk, and I saw she was wearing knee-high stripy socks. The desk drawer was normal size for a computer or office desk, but CW slipped from her chair and fell into the drawer. One of the male dream characters pulled her back out and put her back onto the chair. CW was laughing.

I wanted to go out - it was night by now - and do whatever crimes I had been planning earlier with the initial male dream character. There was something preventing me - it may have been my family. I cannot recall this part of the dream.

Scene 2: My Nan's House (Sheringham) - Time Unknown
This is the part of the dream I recall the most vividly. I was in my Nan's house, sitting in the centre of the sofa. Where the gas heater is, was the open fireplace which used to be there when I was a child

My family - at least my Mum and Nan - were also in the room, standing or sitting somewhere behind me. There was also a very young child - approximately 2 years of age (she could not talk yet). She was not my child, but I had custody or parental responsibility towards her. She had a very pretty face and light blonde curly hair - short, like a 2 year old would have. 

This child was sitting on my lap. She wriggled around and fell backwards, hitting her head on the tiled fireplace hearth. She let out a single scream, and I picked her up and put her back on my lap so I could check her head. She wasn't screaming when sat on my lap. Behind me, my Mum and Nan were now screaming and panicking about the head injury to the child, leaning over me so they could get a better view of it and making me feel crowded, so I said, firmly: 'Act as if nothing happened and she won't start crying!' What I meant by this: if us adults don't make a fuss, the child will remain calm. 

The panic in the room stopped; the child was also silent and calm. I turned her round and parted her hair to see the head injury cause by the fall onto the tile. The wound was a huge open gash, covering almost the width of her head and pouring with blood. I poked it with the tip of my finger, moving a large flap of loose skin, and could see the skull beneath was cracked (it looked like dry, raw grains of rice floating in blood) and her brain (pinkish-grey and very veiny) was visible. I thought: 'Oh no, this looks like a lot of hassle to fix', but I was in no rush to take the child to the hospital. Instead, I said (somewhat proudly) to my Mum and Nan: 'She doesn't even care about her brain being on show!' It was as if I was treating this like it wasn't at all serious or worrying and was pleased that the child seemed oblivious to the head injury.

I cannot recall anything else about this dream, but I am sure some memories will come back to me eventually, as this dream seemed so significant and interesting when I first woke up.

TIME: 23:00 - 07:00 hours (I am not sure when this dream took place)
LUCIDITY: NO
SPECIAL NOTES: NONE OF NOTE

Dream Information:

  • CW is a police officer; her twin sister, VW drives a secure prisoner transportation van

Dreamsigns:
  • CW appeared different and she fell into a desk drawer 
  • My Nan had an open fireplace again - this was there during my childhood, but was replaced with a gas heater a number of years ago

Recurrent Dream Themes:

  • None of note

Potential Day/Dream Residue:

  • Shortly before I went to sleep, I watched 2 episodes of Britain's Darkest Taboos, a true crime show which is hosted by a female psychologist specializing in familial abuse/crime; and a criminal behaviour specialist from the police. Each episode focuses on a separate, shocking crime from the UK. The episode I watched were: 'My Daughter was Tortured to Death by her Sadistic Boyfriend' (S04E02) and 'My Disabled Daughter: Tortured and Murdered by her Friends' (S05E03)
  • The day of this dream I had an online (Facebook) conversation about psychopaths - my friend made a comment about how we were alike and should go 'on a spree' to which I asked 'Can we get some sexy anti-contam suits...?'
  • The day of this dream I read an article about Buffy the Vampire Slayer which featured Anthony Stewart Head, who played 'Giles' in the series
  • The day of this dream I read an online article about a small child who was laughed at by children and adults for wearing socks with love hearts on them, prompting his mother to write an open letter about allowing children to express themselves freely without gender-specific ideals affecting their identity

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
This dream seemed to be strongly related to my Dream Incubation Experiment.

There was a suggestion of murder right at the start and I also saw a very serious injury (head wound) to a child (not caused by me) and managed to remain completely calm when everyone else was panicking. 

I did enjoy this dream when I recalled more detail of it - I remember waking up and thinking that this was a stimulating dream with some interesting themes. However, based on my current recollection, it just seems to be quite fragmented and I have forgotten a scene which seemed to be crucial to the narrative. All I can recall is the general theme and emotions I experienced, as recorded above. 

* I have forgotten many aspects of this dream. If I recall anything else later, I will record it below.

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