Dream 332

'The One Where I Had Sex With Johnny Depp' (Lucid Dream)

This dream happened during an afternoon nap. When I have a successful lucid dream I will detail the specific techniques or circumstances which enabled it so my readers can note which methods of induction or dream-boosting practices work best for me. This was one of the most successful DILD (Dream Induced Lucid Dream) I have ever experience, mainly because of the superior level of control I managed to exert over my dream. I was able to manipulate the dream better than I have ever been able to do in previous dreams!

Method

• 8 hour sleep, awake for 4 hours, 2 hour afternoon sleep
• MILD Technique (Mnemonic Induction of Lucid Dreaming - meditations and affirmations before sleep)
• Reality checks (previous days, regularly throughout the waking day)
• REM Rebound Effect (48 hours since smoked cannabis)

I started in a normal non-lucid dream. I was with another girl, who I do not recognise from real life nor recall from the dream. We were attending a meeting with her academic supervisor (a female professor) in a large office. Behind her supervisor (who was a mature woman with grey hair in a bun and a tall, slim figure), was a floor to ceiling bookshelf which was completely filled with books. My female dream character friend was enrolled on a poetry course and this is what she was discussing with her supervisor. While the discussions were taking place, I was looking at the contents of the bookshelf, from my position, seated in front of the supervisor's desk. I saw that on one of the lower shelves was a book (on poetry, I think) which belonged to me. When the supervisory meeting was over, the supervisor left, I retrieved my poetry book. My writing was on the front cover and pages inside the book (I did not read what was written). I felt justified in taking the book. My female friend and I stood at the side of the room and debated whether it was right for me to take the book without asking, and I was arguing that it was OK.

I then woke up in bed. My laptop was on top of the duvet (on my stomach) and the screen was detached/broken. There was also an orange on the bed. This alerted me to the fact that this was a false awakening. I was not suffering from sleep paralysis and could move easily. I felt excited and decided to quickly get out of bed and try and lucid dream. I got out of bed easily. I found that my bedroom looked different. Where my desk usually is, there was a tall wooden wardrobe, and where my wardrobe and cupboard should be, there was just a larger than normal blank wall. I opened the wardrobe door and saw a white plastic shopping bag on the shelf. This was the only item in the wardrobe. I wanted to look inside the bag, but was worried that there might be something nasty in it, so I asked myself for an object with which to touch the bag (so I did not need to use my hand). Suddenly, I had a hammer in my hand. I decided to smash the bag with the hammer, and I could tell that there was an object in the bag, but it wasn't moving and felt solid. I decided to just look in the bag, as if there was something alive in there, it would now be dead because of the hammer blows. Inside the bag was simply a white box. I was distracted from looking in the box, because the door to my bedroom was opened. I looked up to see who was coming in, and noticed that the wall beside the door (where my wardrobe and cupboard would normally be) was covered in green graffiti. LM (a boy from my school) entered the room. He wanted to have sex with me and pushed me onto the floor. I was laying on the floor and said: 'NO!' forcefully, pushing him away. He disappeared. I fell back asleep into a normal dream.

In the normal dream, I was then standing in the back courtyard of the Two Lifeboats Hotel, the pub my mum used to manage. I was outside a seafront house which is attached to the pub and in which I used to live for a couple of years when I was very young. It was dark, and instead of a narrow concrete path, there was now a wide road with trees lining it. I instantly realised that this was not what I would expect to see in real life, and became lucid again. As soon as I became lucid a group of young men on bikes started cycling towards me. I felt in danger and knew they had bad intentions, so wished that I had a weapon. A handgun appeared in my hand and I started firing it at the men on bikes, which caused them to disappear, although the one at the front of the group just fell off his bike into the road.

I woke up again. I thought I was really awake and looked at my mobile phone to see what the time was (I had an alarm set for 16:00 hours). The clock said it was 19:00 hours and therefore I realised I was asleep and dreaming, this being another false awakening (because I did not hear my alarm and I was expecting a guest at 18:30 hours, so I knew I would have been awoken before 19:00 hours by the phone/doorbell). I then decided that I should get out of bed again and try and have another lucid dream. As soon as I thought this, I saw a man standing beside my bed, with his trousers undone, and his erect penis pointed towards my head as if he wanted me to give him oral sex. I wanted to get out of the situation, but then I looked up and saw it was Johnny Depp! He said to me: 'We can get married and start a family if you want...' I said: 'What about Amber Heard?' [his supposed girlfriend] to which he replied: 'I broke up with her because my children and Vanessa [Paradis, former partner and mother of his two children] didn't like her'. I was really happy that Johnny wanted to be with me and we started having sex almost immediately (missionary position), which created a feeling of sexual excitement (although I did not orgasm, so not quite a wet dream!). However, after a while, this feeling began to fade and it seemed like we had stopped having sex prematurely. The dream started to fade around the edges and grow fuzzy (a sign I was waking up and needed to use a lucid dream stabilisation technique). I started shouting 'CLARITY NOW!' and my vision cleared and I was again, fully lucid within the dream. I felt overjoyed it worked! Johnny said to me: 'I can't find your vagina!' which worried me, and I reached down and touched between my thighs and noticed that I did not have a vagina, which made me panic (as I had a normal vagina just moments earlier, before I started losing lucidity). I wished for my vagina to return, but it didn't and I asked myself how I could figure out how to control this aspect of the dream (because I wanted to continue to have sex with Johnny!) 

Suddenly, I found myself in front of a woman (non-descript - middle aged, medium build, brown hair, plain clothing) who was standing in front of a display. On the display was a model of a woman's vagina and a woman's torso, with bear breasts. These were both similar to the kind of models used for medical students and were purplish in colour, and seemed to be the texture of human skin, although I knew that they were not real. The woman said: 'What can I do for you?' and I was aware that she practiced witchcraft, although I am not sure how I knew this. I said: 'I've lost my vagina and want to get it back!' The woman said: 'You're lucid dreaming right now and in lucid dreams the breasts are just folds of fat but they are one-dimensional and can't be held and the vagina is a box with no lid'. I looked at the models and the 'vagina' was actually just a smooth surface (like the crotch of a Barbie doll, without detail) and the breasts were square and both one-dimensional and three-dimensional at the same time. The woman started flicking the breasts with her hands, but when I reached out to touch them, my hand just went straight through them and there was nothing there, although I could clearly see them! The woman said: 'If you can get back to Johnny, your vagina will be intact again'. I wished myself back to my bedroom and found I was standing in the middle of the room. Johnny was still there, now wearing sunglasses. His hair looked greasy and was falling around his face. He was wearing a checked shirt open over a brown T-shirt and baggy blue jeans. The dream started to fade again and go fuzzy around the edges, so I used the same lucid dream stabilisation technique as before, saying: 'CLARITY NOW!' This worked perfectly again. I then found myself kneeling down on the floor beside my bed while Johnny had sex with me doggy-style. I thought I might orgasm, but Johnny finished before I could. He then said: 'We could have a baby together!' which was a thought which didn't distress me too much! He said we needed to go and do something (he was being secretive and would not tell me what) and said: 'Afterwards, we can go and elope', so I was happy to join him on his secret mission. We left my bedroom and started walking down a staircase which was very dark and looked like those you find in council towerblocks. At the bottom of the steps was a brick wall. Johnny had something in his hand, which he rested against the wall (so he could write on it) - it was a small brown picture, although I could not really see what it was of, because it was so old and faded. Johnny was signing it. I asked what he was doing and he said: 'Forging some art'. The dream then started to go fuzzy and faded again and I could feel myself waking up. I said: 'CLARITY NOW!' but the fading/fuzziness continued. Desperately, before I woke up, I tried to say to Johnny: 'Johnny tell me something about myself I don't know!' (because I am aiming to ask a dream character something about me as a person to see what my subconscious will answer!) but it was too late. I woke up in my bed and performed a reality check and looked at my phone. It was 15:58 hours and I found I was really awake!