Tuesday 6 February 2018

Dream 908

'One Big Confusing Day'
Date: 4 February 2018
Time: 01:30 - 07:30
Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Strong recall 

This dream was part of my current Dream Incubation Experiment - Anakin Skywalker Dream. Please click HERE for my post on the Dream Incubation Experiment, the Methodology I am using (with instructions for those who also want to attempt to incubate their own dream) and links to my previous Dream Incubation Experiments and previous Star Wars-themed dreams. On that post you will also find an Index for all recorded dreams which take place during this experiment.

Scene 1: Norwich - Evening
I met with Sam Chapman from the Pixiwoo Youtube channel -she is local to Norwich, but I have never met her in real life. I noticed how beautiful Sam looked when not just seen on a video - she was wearing a bright red lipstick. She needed my help for something and I was surprised that she had come to me for this help. I wondered how she ever knew who I was or trusted me to help her. I don't recall what she needed help with, but I agreed to it and she accompanied me to my home in Norwich. 

We were in my lounge/kitchen and my Nan was present. She was cleaning my kitchen and putting things into my fridge, wearing an apron (I have never seen my Nan wear an apron in real life). Sam and I were standing in front of the ledge which separates the kitchen from the lounge (it is like a very high, narrow breakfast bar, which I use as a shelf). The rest of my flat was as it looks in real life, other than the dining table was not present - as we were standing where this should be).

My Nan did not seem pleased to see me - she was annoyed at me for something. I tried to introduce Sam to my Nan, and tell my Nan how exciting it was for me to be with a Youtuber and Businesswoman I respect so much, but my Nan was ignoring Sam and just being really hostile towards me. I was embarrassed by her behaviour given Sam was with me. I asked my Nan what was wrong and my Nan said that she had been with my Mum for a week, looking after her. My Mum had been to the doctor in relation to a 'non-serious problem'. My Nan would not tell me what the problem with my Mum was, which caused me anxiety and worry. It appeared that my family had been hiding this problem for me, and keeping me away from my Mum. My Nan's vagueness and secrecy was making me frustrated, but I was aware that I needed to help Sam with something. Sam and I took a couple of steps towards the front door of my flat and she showed me her latest Youtube video on a mobile phone. I said I would be willing to do whatever she needed from me, but I had to go and see my Mum.

Scene 2: A Domestic Interior - Evening
I went to see my Mum and found her in a domestic interior, which I do not know from real life. It was a dark room with a large wooden dining table in it. My Mum was polishing the table and also - like my Nan - wearing an apron while performing this household chore. I stood on the other side of the table and told my Mum about my concerns for her wellbeing and my concerns that my Nan had tried to keep me away/unaware. My Mum tried to reassure me that nothing was wrong. I asked her why she had to go to the doctor and why my Nan had told me that she was looking after my Mum. My Mum stopped polishing the table and smiled at me whispering words to the effect of: 'I went for a number 1, but I could not do a number 2'. I perceived this to mean that she had gone to pee, but could not take a shit, and was whispering/using euphemisms out of politeness. I felt relieved at first that the problem seemed quite minor, but then I wondered if I was being lied to, to stop me from worrying about a more serious problem.

Scene 3: Peter's Bookshop, St Peters Road, Sheringham - Evening
I thefound myself in Peter's Bookshop - the secondhand bookshop I used to visit every week when I was a child, often buying horror books, which were on a shelf by the entrance. This bookshop is situated a 30 second walk from my Mum's home, so perhaps Scene 2 was supposed to take place in my Mum's home (she lives in a flat about her workplace, a nursing home for elderly people). This would explain why I was able to get to the bookshop so quickly after visiting my Mum (although I had managed to transport from Norwich to Sheringham without travelling/passing of time). I was disappointed to find that the horror section had moved and there were not many books downstairs (the shop is very ramshackle and shabby, with thousands of books just piled everywhere if they do not fit on the crowded shelves). I saw the male owner of the shop at the cash register. I walked through to another section of the shop and found that there were stairs leading to an upper level. Upon going upstairs, I wondered if this was really Peter's Bookshop, or a version of a secondhand bookshop which I had visited in an earlier dream (so I was questioning my dream, but not lucid or in any way aware I was dreaming. It was more like I was thinking: 'This looks different, it reminds me of a place from a dream'). 

The upstairs level had many small rooms filled with different genres of books. There were also other things in the rooms - such as a stand with red teacups on it, and another room with children's toys. I was confused as to why these items - which appeared to be bric-a-brac, were in a bookshop, but decided that perhaps the shop now sold other secondhand items. There were a couple of dream characters in some of the rooms upstairs, browsing the books, but I knew that the shop was about to close and the experience in one of my favourite shops felt isolating, lonely, sterile and rushed - it was as if I could not enjoy looking for books and felt confused by the slightly unfamiliar surroundings. 

Scene 4: An Unknown Interior, Location Unknown - Night
After I left the bookshop I went elsewhere - to a domestic interior which I do not know from real life. I looked at my mobile phone and saw that there was a hole in the screen. I realised that I already knew about the damage to the phone, so was not shocked - I had just forgotten about it. The hole in the screen was a perfect rectangle and about 1 cm long and 0.5 cm wide, It was very deep, meaning the glass phone screen was at least a couple of centimetres thick. I could see my usual phone screensaver was now something blue, which was also visible through the hole in the screen.

I was then looking at a laptop which was logged into my Facebook. There were some (unseen) dream characters present and I think that these persons were those who I will describe as interacting with me on Facebook - therefore they were present in my physical space, but instead of interacting in person, the interaction was happening in real-time on my Facebook and I did not pay attention to their 'physical' selves in the same room as me.

I was aware that a female dream character (not known to me in real life or the dream) had befriended several of my friends. This female was called 'Gill' and I knew that it was spelled this way, rather than the more common 'Jill'. 'Gill' was linked in some way to Myra Hindley - I think I knew she was dating the actual Ian Brady, who in the dream was alive and a young man (i.e. the way he was before his arrest and detention for the notorious Moors Murders). Gill was threatening to reveal online that I had had sex with RDTA and MSN. I think she was now dating one of them, and wanted to disclose my sexual relations with them to spite me. I was very anxious that she not to do this, because I was not ashamed I had had sex with them, I did not want RDTA to know I had previously had sex with MSN, because I preferred RDTA and I didn't want him to think I had tried to 'replace' him with MSN. I was trying to get Facebook friends - including MSN himself to stop Gill from spreading rumours about me, but everyone seemed to be suggesting that they could not stop Gill and therefore I was trying to think of a way to limit the damage she could cause and seek some form of revenge against her. This whole incident was distressing, annoying and frustrating. 

I cannot recall anything else about this dream. 

Extra Information: 
No Vitamin B6 taken (forgot)

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • My Nan as a dream character
  • Conflict with my Nan
  • Human shit
  • RDTA as a dream character

Dreamsigns: 

  • I was asked to help Sam Chapman and she came to my house
  • The scene with my Mum
  • My mobile phone screen
  • Peter's Bookshop was very different inside - and reminded me of another secondhand bookshop (which I am not sure if is based on one I have visited in real life, or visited on another occasion in a dream)
  • The weird phone screen situation
  • Dream characters were interacting with my on Facebook whilst also being passive persons in my physical presence
  • The dream character 'Gill' who was linked to Myra Hindley

Day Residue: 
  • A couple of days before this dream I had watched a Pixiwoo Youtube video in which Sam revealed that she has been seeking help for depression which she began suffering following her stepfather's very recent death from cancer. She mentioned how she put up walls around her in preparation for losing him - as if she was grieving his death before he died, which meant she was not emotionally available to him. I felt a lot of pain on Sam's behalf hearing her talk about this. I really love her and Nic and I hate it when I see them upset about something. I work with people with depression and mental health issues, so this may have been linked in my mind
  • I have recently noticed that I have not had much contact with my Mum - either on social media or by phone. This is not unusual, but it was more noticeable than usual because even if I am poor at keeping in contact with people, my Mum is usually trying to track me down if a few weeks pass
  • I run parody social media accounts as Force Ghost Anakin, a 'therapist' in the Netherworld of the Force
  • In a conversation with someone on the day of this dream, I mentioned that I used to read a lot of books as a child, but now I tend to read material from the internet and am quite poor at reading books, despite this being something I very much enjoy
  • On the day of this dream I had been showing someone my screensaver which is Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
  • On the day of this dream I had seen a person on Facebook mention that they had not been online recently as they had cracked the screen of their mobile phone
  • On the day of this dream I had read an online article about one of my favourite Pre-Raphaelite paintings - John William Waterhouse, Hylas and the Nymphs (1896) which had been removed from public exhibition (in January 2018, Manchester Art Gallery) over concerns that it depicted nude adolescent girls and was therefore pornographic. This reminded me of another one of my favourite artworks which was controversial and subject to public vandalism when it was displayed at the Royal Academy of Art, London - Marcus Harvey, Myra (1997). I actually saw this painting as part of the Sensation exhibition when it moved to the Saatchi Gallery in London. I think the linking of these aspects of my dream come from the idea of art censorship generally, and the fact that I once bought an artbook on the Pre-Raphaelites from Peter's Bookshop
  • The day before this dream I had been dealing with an incident at work where Student A was complaining about Student B sending messages/spreading rumours about Student A to friends of Student A who did not really know Student B

Waking Reactions: 
This dream felt so bizarre and significant to me - because it was long and complex and felt like it took place in real time across the span of 24 hours. Many aspects of the dream caused me some distress and anxiety, and these feelings were particularly acute. This was a dream where my recall was incredibly vivid, and although I can never ever be certain, it felt like I remembered the dream narrative in its entirety. This is probably impossible, but certainly, recalling this dream upon waking was a similar experience to recalling the plot of a movie that I have just finished watching - I might miss some of the finer details or subtle aspects, but all the main themes, locations and characters were very easy to remember. It was really odd that during Scene 3, when I visited Peter's Bookshop, I started questioning why the shop looked different and whether it was really Peter's Bookshop, or rather a secondhand bookshop I had visited in a previous dream. In other circumstances, this questioning (logical fact-checking) might be sufficient to enable to me to become lucid, but this did not happen in this dream. I will investigate earlier dreams in which a secondhand bookshop has featured and try and discover why I had this thought in this current dream (i.e. did I really dream of a bookshop like this in an earlier dream - the 'memory' or 'dream deja-vu' was strong enough to make this think this is a possibility).


John William Waterhouse, Hylas and the Nymphs (1896)

Marcus Harvey, Myra (1997)

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