Tuesday, 4 August 2015

Dream 467

'Injecting  Some Heroin'
Dream date: 31 July 2015
I was in a room with PS - it was a room which was unfamiliar to me in real-life and we were sitting beside each other on a bed, at the top. I was sitting closest to the window/wall. I was planning to take some heroin, intravenously. I had a tourniquet on my left upper arm (a brown leather belt) and was tapping at the vein to get it to raise up. PS handed me a syringe full of heroin. I injected it (or he injected me) into the vein of my arm, but through the tourniquet first. I thought that this wasn't the way you were supposed to inject heroin and then doubted that I would get a strong effect from it, because some of it would have remained in the leather and not got through to my vein. I then stood up and got off the bed. I felt dizzy and hazy, but not the way I would expect heroin to make me feel. I was standing at the end of the bed, saying to PS: 'I don't know why people take this to block out their problems, because it's far too weak to help!' I was confused and disappointed. I was strongly aware that the heroin had no pain-relieving qualities as an opiate should. I could see some candles burning on a table next to me - the flame/smoke looked 'fizzy'.

I was then in a classroom, sitting on a desk. There were some other dream characters present - other students (unrecalled, but known to me in the dream) and a teacher. I had a thesis which had been printed and leather-bound. It was for a PhD in History of Art - and was based on the 'art' from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I was sitting on a table, flicking through my 'thesis' and saw there were many black and white illustrations included, but they looked like poor quality photocopies. I was also aware that I was doing a consecutive PhD in Law (based on my actual real-life subject matter) as well. I was upset that I had 'wasted' my History of Art research funding to work on Buffy, since it is not a TV show I am interested in anymore (I used to be as a teenager) and it was 'inconsequential' and pointless to have dedicated an entire thesis to it. I wondered if my Law thesis would be better quality and felt overwhelmed by how much work I had yet to do. The teacher told me I should hand my thesis in to be marked.

I was then in a dark office - and was aware it was a law firm (criminal defence) and my place of work. I was working on a rape case and was discussing cross-examination of the complainant and prosecution witnesses. NN was present and she said she would be handling the cross-examination - working as the defence barrister. I was shocked and upset, because she had been favoured for my job, despite her not being qualified. I realised I should have done a pupillage which would give me rights of audience in Crown Court. I was so angry, I got up from the desk we were sitting at and started pacing around the room. I then walked over to another desk - this time in the corner. NN was dressed in barrister's robes, preparing for the case. AS was present. I asked him how NN had been favoured for a job which she was not qualified for, when this was something I could do. AS said NN had been fast-tracked through a short-course to prepare her to be a lawyer. I asked why I had not been given the same treatment as her and he said: 'You didn't fuck anyone'. I then decided I might use my sexuality as a means to obtain my own advantage and jumped on AS, wrapping my legs around his waist.

I was then in a supermarket, looking at a shelf. I found 2 cauliflowers, which I put in my shopping basket. They were reduced and had large yellow price stickers on them.

The scene changed and I was at my nan's house in Sheringham, in my bedroom. I was holding a book which related to a family. It was a guide to prepare me for looking after the family and I was discussing the situation with DL. I am not sure why I was tasked with caring for a family, and the dream did not offer any explanation. The book was large and pink and white on the cover. I have forgotten many aspects of this dream scene, but at one stage, I turned around and saw a small white female child behind me. She was known as 'the 7 year old mother' and I was disgusted as she was far too young for such a role.

I was then getting dressed - and put on a black dress. I was planning to meet someone - I think it was DL. I was aware that the black dress was new and I wanted to find the right shoes to wear with it. However, as DL is the same height as me (and I did not want to tower over him), this meant all the high heels I owned were out of the question, leaving me with little other choice. I was sitting in front of my wardrobe (I think it was my real-life wardrobe, which would indicate that I was in my bedroom in Norwich, although I could not tell for sure as it was dark and I could only see the wardrobe door, nothing else). I selected a pair of black ankle boots, with burgundy slouchy socks which were visible above them. I wondered if the combination of the dress and the boots/socks made my legs appear shorter and fatter (it did and would in real-life). I decided that this was the best outfit I could put together and should stick with it. I then noticed that there was a full-length mirror on the wardrobe door - this is not there in real-life (if we assume the wardrobe was the one in my real-life home, as indicated above). I left the house (I cannot recall anything else about it to indicate precise location) and went out. It was grey and rainy. I met DL.

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

TIME: 07:00 - 14:30 hours (I am note sure when this dream took place)

Dream Information:

  • PS is my ex-boyfriend
  • I have undergraduate degrees in English Literature & History of Art and Law. I am currently doing a PhD in Law and have a forthcoming academic supervisory meeting
  • NN is my friend from childhood - she is a trained hairdresser and mother of two
  • AS is a former work colleague. Due to my synaesthesia, AS always creates the impression of a number 57 in my mind - this looks, feels and smells like cold steel/metal

  • I would never take heroin (IA - Inner Awareness)
  • The burning candles looked 'fizzy' (A - Action/F- Form)
  • My PhD subject matter had changed and was something which I would never write a thesis on anyway (IA - Inner Awareness)
  • NN is not trained in Law (IA - Inner Awareness/C - Context)
  • I was looking after a family which included a 7 year old mother (A - Action/C - Context)

Recurrent Dream Themes:
  • PS as a dream character
  • Drugs
  • Being in a classroom or enrolled at a learning institution

Potential Day/Dream Residue:
  • I am writing a horror novel which involves a scene where heroin is injected 
  • Shortly before this dream I had read an article on Stephen King's IT (1986) - my own novel contains the character 'Pennywise the Dancing Clown'. In the article, Derry Maine, was likened to the 'Hellmouth' which exists in Sunnydale, the fictional town which features in Buffy the Vampire Slayer
  • I was trying to choose the career of my main character in my novel - and had loosely decided on a PhD in History of Art
  • Shortly before this dream I had been discussing synaesthesia 
  • Several years ago, I did suffer from unequal treatment while working in a law firm, as my peer (who was not as far through her training as me) received benefits such as fee payment, study leave, a huge wage increase and greater responsibility as a result of an extra-marital affair (and subsequent chaotic relationship, when their respective partners found out and it came out in the open) with our much older boss (the owner of the firm). Despite me being more competent and further through my training, I received none of the support and assistance she did - because I wasn't having a sexual relationship with the boss. Shortly before this dream I was discussing this form of gender-based nepotism in the workplace, because I admit it still makes me feel bitter that I was forced to resign from my job and didn't instigate legal proceedings against my boss for unfair treatment
  • I went to sleep and had this dream planning to buy 2 cauliflowers when I woke up
  • I had been wondering what I should wear (just before I went to sleep) and when I woke up, I was suddenly aware (as a result of the dream) that I had a new black dress I had not yet worn!

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:
I enjoyed this dream at the start because I got the chance to inject heroin, which is something I would never ever do in real-life. However, I was disappointed that the experience was not realistic (based on knowledge about the effects of drugs and anecdotes from heroin users I am friends with). The rest of the dream was pretty unexciting and did not create any lasting waking thoughts and emotions. other than annoyance and agitation at the scene in which NN was given my dream job (which I am qualified for) despite having no formal higher education qualifications outside of hairdressing - thoughts like this remind me that I have not met my own potential, leading to concerns that I have used my intellect and ability inadequately.

* I have forgotten some of the later parts of this dream, but if I recall them later, I will record them below.

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