Friday, 28 November 2014

7 Day Dream Incubation Experiment - Marilyn Monroe Dream (3)

If you haven't already read my first two posts on my Dream Incubation Experiment, please click here (for post setting out my aims and basic methodology) and here (for post detailing my preliminary results). You can also access the Youtube videos I made in relation to my experiment linked on these Blog posts.

Dream 3 - Friday 21 November 2014

'Pink Sex Machine'
I saw myself (in the third-person) board a double-decker bus. As I got onto the bus, the destination screen on the front said: 'Mother'.

I then found myself in a bedroom, which looked like the shared rooms in the Norfolk Terrace residences at my university. By the door, against the wall, was a large bubblegum pink unit, made up of different sections/box-like shelves or pigeon-holes. Inside these spaces were TV screens. I was trying to get to sleep, but suddenly, the TVs turned on - very loudly - and started playing porn, but it was also like 'body horror' - deformed body parts copulating with gruesome, screeching sex noises. I became anxious that the sound would wake my stepdad who was in the bedroom next door and had to wake up early for work, but there was no way for me to turn the porn off, other than using a remote control, which I knew was in a bag in the lounge. I went through to the lounge - which did not resemble any real life lounge that I know of, but looked normal. The quality of light told me that it was the early hours of the morning. I was relieved to see my stepdad was awake, and sat drinking beer on the sofa, meaning the noise of the porn hadn't disturbed him. I found the bag (a normal-looking black backpack) behind an armchair on the floor and got the remote control, which looked like a cross between a pink computer keyboard and an electric guitar - the size of the former. I took this through to my bedroom and turned off the horror porn.

I then found myself in Sheringham, in Otterndorf Green, which is between the steam railway and the regular train station (the town is twinned with the German town of Otterndorf). There was some kind of 'anti-Russian parade' going on. People were marching and shouting racial slurs against Russian people, and asking bystanders to tell of any Russians they knew, so these people could be driven out of the area. I thought to myself: 'The only Russian I know of is EB's ex-girlfriend' (this isn't true, I recently met two Russian students at a games night I organised at university). The sun was shining brightly and I was just standing, watching the anti-Russian parade, wondering why it was happening, when I was approached by LR - a male who lived in my hometown when I was growing up and was a couple of years older than me. He was flanked by two women, with his arms around their shoulders, and the three of them were swaying around as if drunk. LR said to me: 'You should inform on Dan the Snitch' (I am not sure who 'Dan the Snitch is, but in the dream I knew of him). 

I was then in my house in Norwich, standing at the front door, which was open. I was annoyed to find that there was someone (an unknown male adult) standing in the doorway, addressing a young blonde child, who was standing on the raised pavement just opposite my house. The child was trying to learn French. I began teaching him French. I told him that 'le petite regard' meant 'small circle'. He accepted this as true and I think that in the dream I also believed that I was correct. It in fact means 'the little light', although I was not actually aware of this! The boy then said that 'beaucoup' meant 'very good' and I agreed with him, even though in the dream I was aware that it actually meant 'so much' or 'very much'. He said: 'I speak Francais beaucoup - that means I'm very good'. I thought that I would let him assume he was right even if he sounded like an idiot speaking French wrongly.

I then was in a room, using a computer to surf the internet and realised that I had invented Kickstarter, the global crowd-funding organisation. I was the site administrator and was in charge. 
  • Timing: After WBTB, during the last stage of a 6 hour sleep
  • Lucidity: NO
Again, this dream starts with the theme of parenthood. I have already interpreted the symbol of the mother in my earlier post on this experiment, but I wonder if boarding the bus was a metaphor for the womb? It seems a little bit of a stretch, but that was one of my initial thoughts when analysing this dream. Getting on a bus is typically interpreted as being a sign that you are going along with an idea - following the crowd. If you board the wrong bus, this might be a sign that you are subconsciously aware of poor choices in following others. There was no sense that this was the 'wrong bus', but perhaps an indication that I have reservations about motherhood and am anxious about social expectations that a woman of child-bearing age should be considering her options and her future plans of motherhood. Waiting at a bus stop is representative of a decision which needs to be made in the dreamer's waking life and a warning to consider and plan for the future. 

A shelf literally relates to something (ideas/plans) which needs to be 'shelved' or put on hold. Television symbolises your mind and the flow of ideas. It is representative of receiving, integrating and expression of thoughts and ideas and can be seen as an objective, external projection of what is on the dreamer's mind. Viewing pornography is a sign of the dreamer's issues with intimacy, sexuality, control, power and effectiveness. The dreamer may be afraid of exposing a vulnerability of aspect of the self - this anxiety seems to tie in with my fear that the pornography would awaken others and should be turned off. I did not have the means to switch off the TV porn at first, which may reflect a desire to quell anxiety surrounding issues of sexuality, but not knowing how to go about it. There might also be a conflict between being a mother and maintaining my identity as a sexual person, if the first and second dream scenes are juxtaposed. 

Dreaming of Russia and Russians largely depends on personal perspectives of the country and culture. I have no specific views on Russia, but note that Marilyn Monroe was embroiled in her husband's (Arthur Miller) political and legal troubles following investigation by the House Committee on Un-American Activities for suspected communist affiliation. The activities of the HUAC  can be compared to those of Senator Joseph McCarthy (the proponent and face of 'McCarthyism', a Republican reaction to the threat of communism, the 'Red Scare' and the Western Bloc's Cold War with the Soviet Union). This seems to be the part of my dream most linked to the biography of Marilyn Monroe, as anti-Russian sentiment in the West was very much a part of that historical era (post-WWII) and the political climate in which she lived and expressed her left-wing views. Otterndorf Green is named for the German town with which my home town Sheringham is twinned, leading to my speculation that this dream scene sets out a particular historical period - that inhabited by Monroe. LR is of German heritage. The reference to 'snitching' may also be relevant - Miller was indicted by the Senate for not 'naming names' - patriotic American citizens were expected to 'snitch' on communist sympathisers and Miller's refusal to snitch was seen as unlawful. 

Watching a parade may indicate that the dreamer is becoming distracted from achieving their goals, or sidetracked in some way. I certainly feel this is the case sometimes with my education and academic progress, because I often procrastinate and then work intensely in short bursts when I have deadlines. The dreamer may be intentionally preventing themselves from achieving goals because of a fear of failure. This is another trait I recognise in myself. Parades also relate to celebrations, special occasions, rites of passage and passing time. Being part of the parade may be symbolic of being caught up in the plans of others and going along with the flow rather than asserting your individuality and setting your own goals. 

Hearing or speaking a foreign language in a dream is a sign that your subconscious is giving you a message that you do not yet understand. In the dream, I was firstly unaware of my own language mistake and the poor lesson I was giving the child, and then, realised the child's own error of translating a sentence, but did not correct him. Perhaps I am afraid that I am not making myself clear to others or expressing myself in the best way possible? French is associated with love and romance - but also a failure to invest time into a waking relationship. A doorway in a dream usually symbolises opportunities and the entering from one level of consciousness to another. Whilst looking inwards is associated with inner exploration and self-discovery, opening a door to the outside is related to a need to make yourself more accessible to others and 'let them in'. This would tie in with the fact that I was annoyed to find the adult male stranger on my doorstep, given that he was uninvited and 'trespassing' on my territory.

Computer symbolise modernity, information and technology generally, as well as opportunities, but on the negative side, also a lack of individuality and emotions/feelings. I recently told my housemate that I felt I had neglected to express myself through my style and clothing, something I used to spend more time and money on doing, but lost interest in after suffering badly with anxiety, depression and insomnia for several years. I felt that I had lost some aspect of my identity - if only a visual part. The reference to 'Kickstarter' and my role as 'Administrator' (someone who is in charge and control) may be a sign that I can change this situation, but just need to kickstart myself to make the necessary changes. There may also be an element of daily residue at play here.

I think this dream is a sign of an underlying identity crisis. I am not sure if the references to Russia are particularly linked to Monroe, but it is the only area of this dream with which I am able to make any possible connection to my incubation topic, other than the recurrent theme of 'motherhood' as previously discussed in my earlier post.

Dream 4 - Saturday 22 November 2014

'Dirty Mathematician'
I was in the pub my mum used to run, with one of her former barmen - WW. I confused WW with another of the barmen who used to work there - BF. WW/BF told me that his brother, SMF (SF is actually BF's sister, his brother is called MAF!) had recently become the youngest 'dirty mathematician' at the age of 37. I associated 'dirty maths' as being the opposite of pure maths.

I was then in my nan's house in the evening. The lights were very bright in the room. I was sitting in the armchair in the corner. My nan was there, as was my uncle, GC, who was seated at the table. GC said he had to get an extension cable/plug, and left the room, but when he returned, he had the wrong extension cable, and the attached electrical plug was plugged into it's own socket, and could not be removed. He left the room again, and returned with another extension cable/plug - this time a black one, which was in working order. 

I was eating ice cream and watching something on either a TV or a laptop. I thought I was watching a video of a lion walking down a driveway outside a house, but my uncle looked over my shoulder and said: 'That dog has become a hyena!' When I looked at the screen again, I saw that it was a hyena on a driveway. 
  • Timing: After WBTB, during the last stage of a 5 hour sleep
  • Lucidity: NO
Dreaming of being in a pub is a sign that you desire an escape from the stresses and strains of life and want some pleasure and frivolity. This pub represents a very happy time in my life (from childhood through until my late teenage years), and also a workplace in which I learned many skills and displayed a good work ethic from a young age. During this time, I was largely carefree and very popular, with many friends and a great social life. The fact that 'Lifeboats' appears in the name of the pub is also a sign of safety and security. When I had this dream, I was heavily intoxicated on alcohol and therefore this may have also influenced the content of my dream - as pubs are primarily associated with the consumption of alcohol and drunkeness. I contrasted 'dirty' with 'pure' because perhaps I saw myself as having lost the 'purity' which came from my previous near-teetotalism by drinking heavily in real life. I had also been sick in real life, which may account for the reference to 'dirty' in my dream. The age 37 is relevant (as DL had recently celebrated his 37th birthday) and I had discussed mathematics and my inability to understand physics because of my poor numeracy and lack of mathematical ability earlier that day, which may be a form of daily residue in my dream content. WW appeared because in real life I had seen someone with the same last name (someone I actually thought was dead!) post on Facebook a day or so before this dream, which had attracted my attention (because I wondered whether the person I knew to have died had the same name as the Facebook post-maker - who is also from my local area - or whether I had made a mistake about one/both their actual names). This might also explain why in the dream I made a mistake as to the names of the brothers/sisters and who was actually related to who.

Dreaming about maths is an indication that you are evaluating something in your waking life and you need to be more rational in your thought process, and try not to act on your emotions. 

I am pretty sure that seeing my uncle in the dream was daily residue, as I had just attended his surprise birthday party. Dreaming of an uncle is a symbol of family heritage and shared traits as well as new ideas and emerging awareness. Electrical plugs represent power and energy and also potential and untapped sources of these. An extension cable is a sign that you need to associate yourself with more energetic people and acknowledge an aspect of yourself which has been left dormant. Cables typically represent durability and stamina and ways of channelling energy. These interpretations are pertinent, as I saw my aunt, VF, who I have not seen in many many years and immensely enjoyed her fun-loving, carefree personality and energy. As a family we discussed how great it was that we all came together and reconnected over my uncle's birthday, where we also received the good news that he was reconciling with his wife following a brief separation. This might also explain why the plug which was inserted into it's own socket was replaced by another one - which worked better - a metaphor for the marriage over and above single life. My uncle had recently been staying at my nan's in real life, during the separation, and I think his dissatisfaction with the first extension cable/plug refers to his desire to end the separation (being 'plugged into himself as a single person') and make the marriage work again. I see this as very positive symbolism.

The reference to the dog/hyena on the screen is daily residue, as the day before this dream I had seen someone post a picture of their dog on one of the dog pages I follow on Facebook. The dog's face was pressed up against a patio door, and the owner had referred to him as looking like a 'hyena' because of the expression on his face. Hyenas typically represent greed, scavenging and uncleanliness - which is interesting considering the earlier reference to 'dirty mathematician' and the fact that I had been sick, which I considered to have been 'dirty' (because the vomit went on my own leg). However, a hyena can also be a sign of over-reliance (on the dreamer by another, or by the dreamer themselves); a sense of humour or laughter. As stated in my earlier dream interpretation, a dog is typically symbolic of loyalty, protection and trust and is a popular dream theme for me because I follow so many dog pages on Facebook and am an avid dog lover. 

This dream does not seem to have any connection with Marilyn Monroe, but I just noticed that when I initially recorded this dream several days ago, I absent-mindedly referred to one of the persons appearing in this dream as 'MAF' (his initials are MF, but I included the 'A' to differentiate between him and my former boss, MF, who appears in other dream reports). Maf was the name chosen by Monroe for her pet dog, given to her by Frank Sinatra. Mafia referred to Sinatra's Mafia connections. 

Dream 5 - Sunday 23 November 2014

'Escape from the Heroin Addicts'
I was in a sort of burnt out building - like a shooting gallery or crackhouse. It was falling down and decaying, with rubbish and dirt everywhere. I lived here with some heroin addicts, but I was not using drugs myself, and neither was the man I was dating (a dream character, unknown to me in real life, slim with black hair). All the people who lived in this drug den were unknown to me in real life. The two that I remember the most clearly, were a small, chubby blonde woman (who looked like RBR, a girl I know from school), who had a big blue tattoo on her upper left arm, and a tall thin male with long black hair and many tattoos. Everyone in the house was planning to shoot some heroin together, and I felt fed up of living around their unhealthy lifestyle. My boyfriend was also planning to try some heroin, but I could not persuade him otherwise. It was daylight, which I knew, because the window in the room we were gathered in had been smashed in, and a torn white sheet had been hung at the window, and it was blowing in the breeze. One of the addicts came into the room, having scored the heroin for everyone. He said: 'I've also brought some dirty needles (syringes) for us to bang up with'. The plan was that everyone would share the same 'dirty' needles i.e. they had already been used by other addicts to shoot heroin. My boyfriend was keen to do this as well, but I was desperately telling him that he should stay clear of the dangerous behaviour and leave the shooting gallery with me. He refused to listen to me, so I decided the only thing I could do was to break up with him. He was crying and asking me why, and the other addicts were getting involved in our dispute. I said: 'Because you will get HIV from the dirty needles and then pass it onto me, especially if we decide to start a family in the future!' He joined the other addicts to shoot some heroin and I left. I didn't feel all that sad about the break up because I was looking after my own interested and he had declined my help and support in favour of intravenous drugs and potential disease. 

I was then at some kind of parade. I was sitting on a carnival float, with the female blonde heroin addict and the tall, long-haired male heroin addict, riding through Sheringham High Street. Both addicts were berating me for breaking up with my ex-boyfriend, telling me he was devastated by me leaving him. They told me I was uncaring and cruel. I reiterated to them that I was fearful that he would contract HIV/AIDS from sharing dirty needles and then pass it onto me. The blonde woman said: 'Why is that a problem?' I said: 'I don't want HIV, but I want to be able to have sex with my boyfriend without taking risks'. She looked at me with an annoyed expression on her face. She told me that she was pregnant. I asked her if she had HIV and she said: 'Yes, we call contracted it on the day you left!' This confirmed to me that I had made the right decision to leave. 

I was then with another woman - also unknown to me in real life, but a friend in the dream. She was slightly older than me, and had purple dye in her dark, fluffy shoulder-length hair. I knew that her and I had made a plan to rescue some of the children who lived in the shooting gallery with the addicts, by arranging to visit the house while the adult addicts were out scoring heroin. They always left the children alone in the house. We had met two kind men who had a car and would meet us by the house and help us to escape before the addicts returned. The house was in woodlands - I could see the road from the forest, and the two men were standing by a pale blue car, waving at us. They joined us, as we walked up a hilly path in the woods towards the shooting gallery. We then noticed that just to the side of the woods (and the path we were walking along) a car was pulling up. It was the 'neighbours' - a middle-aged woman named 'Janet' and her husband (joined by some friends). They were interfering, and we were worried that Janet might inform the addicts that we had taken the children. Janet and her husband called out to us and started approaching from the right. The two men helping us were ahead of me, with my female friend behind me. I started to hurry, walking faster to catch up with the men, while my female friend hung back to distract Janet and her husband from seeing the mission. I heard my friend tell Janet that we were going to collect some glass from the shooting gallery which had belonged to us and we needed for a project. Janet was happy with this explanation and left us to it. Our group of four, then walked through a brick shed/outhouse, which had no roof and two of the walls collapsed into rubble. In the middle of the room was a workbench, with big sheets of glass, with graphic lines dissecting them, as if part of an architectural project which had been abandoned. We were about to reach the house/shooting gallery when I woke up.
  • Timing: After WBTB, during the last stage of an 8 hour sleep
  • Lucidity: NO
A large part of my dream content may be explained by daily residue, as I had been reading Irvine Welsh, Skagboys (2012), which is a prequel to one of my favourite novels, Trainspotting (1993), which is largely about heroin addiction and the HIV epidemic in Scotland during the 1980s. The location of the shooting gallery/crackhouse and drug addiction which takes place there may be symbolic of a toxic state of mind or situation from which I need to escape, by breaking away from it. Dreaming of someone injecting drugs represents feelings that others are not seeing things from a realistic perspective (trying to escape reality) or from the dreamer's point of view. They may be self destructive and sharing their environment is a sign that you might be on a downward spiral, trapped or out of control in a situation. The needle/syringe is linked in Freudian interpretation with the penis and act of sexual intercourse. In this dream, the notion of a 'dirty needle' and the risk of HIV infection from unprotected sex also points towards this interpretation, but it is a positive sign that I was anxious to escape this early on in the dream, despite the protestations of the addicts with whom I wanted to break ties. Disease and contamination often relates to a fear of tension the dreamer is experiencing in their waking life, particularly if the dreamer is feeling vulnerable or exploited in a relationship. HIV/AIDS may be a symbol for a lack, or breakdown, of internal defence mechanisms.

Again this dream involved the recurrent theme of motherhood and also involved a parade - which I have already interpreted above and elsewhere.

In the dream, I - with the help of others - plan an escape, signalling a desire to break away from a restricted situation or attitude. However, it may also symbolise a failure to confront an issue directly, with a preference for running away. I see the escape and saving of the children in the dream as a positive dream element - there was a plan of action, a journey through a wooded area, an overcoming of a potential interference by others and also the presence of the strange glass which was reminiscent of plans/blueprints. My intentions in this dream scene were 'good' in that I wanted the best for the children who were being neglected. Dreaming about rescuing others is often a symbol that aspects of your self are being ignored or neglected - it may be a subconscious cry for help. Instead of myself feeling neglected and needing saving, I projected these anxieties onto vulnerable children and then formulated a successful plan of how to help them. The forest may be representative of a transitional phase and also a need to escape, which ties in which other symbols within this particular dream scene. Glass tends to represent passivity and protection and acts as an invisible barrier. Depending on the quality of the glass, it may reflect whether or not you are seeing things clearly. 

Again, this dream seems to have little to do with Marilyn Monroe, save for the rather tenuous fact that she was a vulnerable and neglected child herself and later, a drug addict who entered into toxic relationships with others. 

Dream 6 - Monday 24 November 2014

'Consciousness Scissors, Memory Loss & Coercion'
Someone (an older female dream character, I cannot recall who) was demonstrating a movement with her arms, which looked like she was holding them out at right-angles at her sides and then swinging them forwards and back, alternatively (so right arm to front, left arm behind, then swapped). This was called 'consciousness scissors'. I felt a bit confused, but then, as I ran a bath (in my Norwich home) I realised that the 'consciousness scissors' was a movement designed by Jennifer Aniston. I was then in my old bedroom, in Pine Grove, Sheringham, looking through my wardrobe. I was trying to find drawings/paintings I had made when I was younger, to show someone (I think it was DL). BBM was seated at a desk in the corner of my room, but it looked more like he was floating on a cloud, godlike, but smaller than a normal adult male. I noticed that in between my paintings was a note written by BMM, which was about two sentences long and in very poor handwriting. It said: 'Thank for for coming to see me...' and then something else I cannot recall. He had signed it underneath. The paintings I had found were all on A4 lined paper and very brightly coloured - usually involving a female face in rainbow colours with a swirly abstract background. They weren't very good, but were quite eye-catching. I was thinking about the 'consciousness scissors' and Jennifer Aniston at this time.

I then found myself in Castle Mall, Norwich. I was with someone - I think it was my nan - standing on the upper floor, by the escalators. There was a glass partition in the middle of the floor. I then saw about 10 massive dogs - all looking exactly like lions (I knew they were dogs, but they would appear to be lions to anyone else) walking in a line. One of the lion-dogs broke away from the pack and started to approach the glass partition, as if it were about to attack. It was growling and barring it's teeth. I ran quickly into a shop, which was actually empty, with no furniture/fittings or stock displayed. I could see the lion-dogs passing by the window. I then was in my bed in Norwich, with three Dalmation dogs (my pets in the dream) snuggled up with me. I thought to myself: 'I wish I just had Staffordshire Bull Terriers' (my favourite breed of dog, and suddenly, the three Dalmations became two Stafffies, which made me happy.

I was then in another room somewhere - it might have been a cafe. ED1 was there, holding a baby. I realised that he had been in a very short relationship with a girl at university and this was his child with her. I had a short conversation with him (I cannot recall what it was about at the start) and he ended up telling me that he regretted becoming a father so young and while he was still in education. He was the main carer for the baby, which made his studies difficult. I then became aware that myself and a number of other people (girls from my high school, including RBR, although I cannot recall exactly who, only that I knew them all) had all undergone a form of memory loss. It had been intentionally inflicted on us by someone. We went out into a dark forest and started to wash a white car together, all aware that we had lost our memories. Two boys from our high school, MR and LM came by and we stopped washing the car to talk to them, standing in a little clearing in the woods. We tried to tell the boys we had lost our memory, but we had forgotten how to speak properly. We were then in a shop, looking at stationary. I could see some lever arch files on a shelf, but when I tried to talk about them to the boys, I could not remember the word 'file'. 

Next, I was in an outside setting - on a big flat piece of concrete which was raised above another level (of grass) which was several feet above ground level. It was daylight and temperate, but not sunny. On the piece of concrete with me was PS, wearing a white T-shirt with pink writing on it. We were both laying on our sides. PS said to me: 'I wasn't shy'. We looked over at the next level down and could see a woman laying on the grass, surrounded by other people. I said: 'Look it's Megan Fox!' but as the woman turned over (she had been facing away from us) I saw it was actually Eastenders actress Samantha Womack, who plays 'Ronnie Mitchell'. PS, Samantha Womack and I were then walking through a crowded corridor in my old high school. Samantha Womack looked like Leticia Dean, who plays 'Sharon Watts/Mitchell' in Eastenders. I had a card with me. On it was some typed writing, but I found it very difficult to understand what it said. It was some form of instructions for a game, but written in such a convoluted and complex way that it barely made sense. The most sense I could make from it was that we were involved in a game where we could use coercion and force against Samantha/Leticia. I said to Samantha/Leticia 'We are going to coerce you!' and then PS and I started to push and shove her into the walls of the corridor, although this upset her.
  • Timing: After WBTB, during the last stage of an 8 hour sleep
  • Lucidity: NO
This dream was frustrating as it involved a lot of female celebrities, but none of whom were Marilyn Monroe! However, Megan Fox used to have a Marilyn Monroe tattoo on her arm, which she since had removed by laser, and Leticia Dean once dressed up as Monroe in an old episode of Eastenders - and according to my nan, publicly compared herself to Monroe. 

Wardrobes/closets represent something which has been kept hidden. In my dream, there were childhood paintings hidden in my wardrobe, which I wanted to show to DL. I believe the drawings represent my 'hidden' or 'untapped' creativity and artistic side which I have suppressed and neglected, but wish to uncover and express. Wardrobes often symbolise our external image and the way we want to portray ourselves to the outside world, so this fits in with this interpretation. The BBM character may represent a person who has recently praised me for my creativity and writing on this Blog, but whom I feel misunderstands me and also annoys me through his selfish reasons for giving the praise (to ingratiate himself with me, knowing that I am not interested in his friendship). Discussing my Blog is the only way he can communicate with me, but my maintaining a veneer of civility is equally as selfish on my part, as I know he is a fan of what I do and confirms my abilities and skills in a way other people may not. My feelings that he is not as intellectual as he suggests may be reflected in his bad handwriting on the note I read in the dream. 'Consciousness' may be a reference to the art of dream interpretation itself, although I am not sure how this relates to 'consciousness scissors'. Scissors typically represent decisiveness and control, especially when cutting something or someone out of your life. Jennifer Aniston is likely to have appeared in this dream (reference only) due to the fact that the day before this dream I had read an article about her in which she claimed she had 'broken the internet' by posing nude, prior to Kim Kardashian's recent publicity stunt. 

Daily residue is also an explanation for the lion-dogs - the same day as this dream, I had watched an old movie (I cannot recall what it was called) about an American circus, in which a lion was released and attacked one of the characters. Dreaming of a mall symbolises decisions, option and choices you have in your waking life, all of which shape who you are as a person. It may also be a sign of materialism. The presence of the glass partition, offered protection from the lions, but also may have symbolised my ability to see a situation clearly. 

In the dream, I had nice dogs, but wanted to swap them for my favourite breed. This suggests that I will not accept second-best and am willing to give up what I have in order to pursue a more preferable situation. Linking to the theme of motherhood, I know of someone who is unable to bear children, so focuses her maternal, nurturing side on her three Dalmation dogs. Perhaps I am putting myself in her position - reassuring myself that even if I do not ever have a baby I can still have Staffies (two would be ideal for me!) and therefore, in the dream, I projected my understanding of her situation onto myself, but consciously changed her choice of Dalmations, to my choice of Staffies, should I ever be in the same circumstances (i.e. childless). I think this part of the dream was reassuring me that I have options and choices and that despite my anxieties, I do have a nurturing side, if towards dogs rather than children. Marilyn Monroe, also unable to have children, lavished attention on her dog as a substitute for a baby, so I may have been subconsciously articulating this notion in my dream.

Again, parenthood features in this dream - this time in the form of one of my friends having an unwanted child. I wonder if the name 'Womack' somehow relates to 'womb' in this dream? Dreaming about memory is a sign that the dreamer is ready to let go of old ideas and undergo a transformation. To dream of memory loss is a sign that you need to let go of the past in order to move forward in your life, and it is no surprise that this dream features people from my past - former school mates, my ex-boyfriend etc. Memory loss/amnesia may also be a sign that the dreamer is trying to block out a rejected or negative aspect of the self and is afraid of necessary change, which could be correct because I hate change and often hold onto old emotions instead of confronting situations. Perhaps the 'consciousness scissors' is a reference to the need to cut out the past in order to move forward in the future? 

Washing a car infers a need to clean up self-image and a sign that you are ready for a fresh start in life. Therefore, this works alongside the interpretation of the other dream themes which suggest a need to forget the past and cut out negative aspects of my life. However, seeing old classmates in a dream may also relate to a need to draw on former associations and learn from them in order to gain insight into current situations. Later in this dream, I also return to school, as my adult self. This usually means that the dreamer needs to wake up to the real world and take on-board lessons they have learnt. The dreamer may have anxieties which stem back to their younger school-age self (inadequacies or insecurities), or feel they are not meeting up to expectations other hold of them. Alternatively, returning to school in a dream may signal that the dreamer is undergoing some form of spiritual lesson or awakening and needs to expand their knowledge. I did not feel out of place in the school, and certainly, I am using my dreams as a way of learning about myself and expanding my mental capacity and psychological growth. This loosely relates to some new quotes I recently read, from Japanese Zen Buddhist Dogen (1200 - 1253): 'Forgetting oneself is opening oneself' and 'To study the self is to forget the self'. Finding yourself in a corridor in a dream is a sign that you are undergoing some transitional form of self-enlightenment and emotional growth. Pushing something is a sign of power, effort, energy and motivation. However, in this dream, the shoving was linked to violence and coercion against another person - putting them under pressure in some way.

Dream 7 - Tuesday 25 November 2014

'Cheating Husbands & Abused Sons'
I was in my bedroom at my nan's house in Sheringham. with CCK, but instead of her being a guest in my house, I was her guest. Things were fine and we were getting on as normal. She was telling me that her husband, K (a religious man) had been cheating on her with another woman and she was desperate to find out who this woman was so she could take out her revenge. I was trying to persuade her to not act too rashly and to speak with her husband, but she was intent on harming the other woman. When it was bedtime, we both went to sleep in my bed next to each other. I was eating a chocolate biscuit while I lay in the bed, and the crumbs were falling out my mouth onto the pillow. CCK took some of the fallen crumbs and tasted them, She then became enraged and said: 'You're the woman having an affair with my husband!' This wasn't true, and I tried to persuade her otherwise, but she rose from the bed and started attacking me. She was far stronger than me and I could not fight back. She punched me in the face many times and then picked up two biro pens, both of which she pushed into my eyes, at the inner corners (a pain I felt in my sleep). I was begging with her to stop. I then saw my hair straighteners (210 degrees in heat when on) plugged in and became aware that if she noticed this, she would use them as a weapon against me. I managed to get up, with her still beating me, and ran into another room, which was no longer a room in my nan's house, but rather a laundry room in CCK's home (in the dream - I have never been to her current home or met her husband in real life). There, I found my bag, which was a black shopping-style bag, filled with clothes. My makeup was on the side, and I was trying to put my makeup into the bag so that I could leave. CCK ran in and started pulling on my arms to prevent me from putting the makeup in my bag, and hitting me at the same time. I saw a load of silvery, glittery eyeshadow pans fall loose from a palette into the top of the bag. Satisfied that my possessions were in the bag, I ran outside. It was daylight and I was on a balcony/walkway of a high rise towerblock. CCK came out after me, and I realised that she was going to throw both my bag and then me over the walkway barrier - which would lead to my death. She was swinging me around by my arm which was holding the bag. I managed to break free and run back into the building, this time, into a communal hallway, where there were three young, mixed-race people (two males, one female) leaning against the wall, smoking. The girl, knowing I was being chased and attacked, pointed me towards the lift and told me to use that to escape the building. I got into the lift, wondering if CCK could make it down to the ground floor using the stairs by the time I used the lift to descend 10 floors. However, by the time I reached the ground floor and left the building, I was by myself, with no sign of CCK. I left safely.

I then found myself in the pub in Sheringham, which my mum used to run. Someone (I am not sure who) told me that my 8 year old son 'Aaron Normalmorman' had been in a sexual relationship with CCK. This was 'consensual' in that she had not used force against him, but there was no real consent due to his extremely young age, so I recognised it (as everyone would) as statutory rape. I became furious and decided to go back to CCK and confront her. I found myself back in my bedroom at my nan's house with CCK. I told her that I had not had an affair with her husband, but in any event, it didn't matter, because she had done the evil act of abusing my young son. CCK started pleading with me and telling me she was sorry, but I just left.

I was then drafting a letter to the police - although I am not sure why I was writing to them rather than reporting the matter in person. On the envelope, which was addressed in the normal way, I also wrote 'Aaron Normalmormon' and then heard a voice say: 'You better write on the sides of the envelope so the paparazzi don't intercept it!' I wrote lengthways down either side of the address, although I am not sure what I wrote, but it was in black biro.

I was then standing outside (daylight), beside the entrance to a house. I was with my son, 'Aaron Normalmorman'. He was small, with thick blonde hair and freckles. I was bending down, hugging him and telling him that everything would be OK, when we were approached by a middle-aged woman. Before I could ask her what she wanted, she said to my son: 'Are you Aaron Normalmormon?' He said yes, and she pulled out a camera and started snapping pictures of him. She was a member of the paparazzi.
  • Timing: After WBTB, during the last stage of a 6 hour sleep
  • Lucidity: NO
In this dream, I was under attack - for a misconception of myself, and error of another in judging me for something I had not done. I think the physical attack was metaphorical for an attack on my identity in some way. Indeed, when I learned that my 'son' had been abused, I felt vindicated and was able to confront my attacker with evidence of why she was a bad person and I was actually the victim of the scenario. Adultery can relate specifically to sexual expression, but it is also interpreted as a sign that you are betraying your subconscious in some way. You may be entangled in a dangerous or negative situation and experiencing feelings of guilt. However, I can confirm that just prior to this dream, I had been involved in a discussion with CCK in which she told me she would kill her husband if he cheated on her, so this dream may be partially due to daily residue. Eating biscuits in a dream may be a sign that you are allowing trivial matters to trouble you excessively, while chocolate biscuits/cookies in particular, relate to guilty indulgences, which may be why the biscuit led to me being (wrongly) attributed with the guilt for CCK's marital problems. The fact that I am sharing a bed with her - in my childhood home (she is a childhood friend) may also indicate that in the dream I was sharing her 'marital bed' (although I actually wasn't! I was innocent!)

The attack in the dream seems to point to the notion that my character is under attack in some way and that I need to defend myself and confront the issues in my waking life. In this dream I was almost blinded by the pens which were pushed into my eyes - pens represent communication and expression. A hot iron (the hair straighteners) is a sign of aggression, ruthlessness and conflict, which is understandable,  given the content of this dream, which was largely about violence and abuse. Dreaming of makeup is a symbol for superficiality, self-image and too much emphasis being placed on physical appearances, but it is also a metaphor for needing to 'make up' with someone. The dreamer may also be trying to cover up or conceal some aspect of themselves. Being on a balcony reflects a need/desire to be seen or noticed. In the dream, I only wanted to be noticed in order to get help so I could escape the violent and unjustified attack. A lift is typically associated with a rise/fall in circumstances, status or wealth, but also may relate to emotions and thoughts emerging from the subconscious, which is most likely in this dream interpretation, as there has been no change in my status or wealth, but I have been intentionally pursuing the goal of accessing my subconscious thoughts. 

Again, there is the recurrent theme of motherhood, which I think has permeated every single one of the dreams I have experienced throughout this week of dream incubation experiment! Dreaming that a child has been abused is a symbol for the fact that the dreamer's inner child has been denied a voice and part of their childhood has been lost. They may be feeling victimised, or fearful that past actions will come back to haunt them in some way because of emotional scars which have been inflicted. If a child - particularly offspring of the dreamer - has suffered rape, it may be representative of the fact that the dreamer does not want to let go of childhood - either their actual child's dependency on them, or if (like me) they do not have a real life child - their own child, projected onto the dream character. This also relates to the fact that I have been previously told by people that I have a 'victim complex' and like to feel victimised so that it excuses my own actions or vindicates my feelings of inadequacy and failure, by blaming other people - a form of learned helplessness or a self-defeating personality trait, in a way. These were also traits attributed to Marilyn Monroe, who was variously described as suffering from bipolar disorder (which I am also diagnosed with), schizophrenia (which her mother was diagnosed with), narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personality disorder. Monroe was sexually abused as a child - and I myself have been victim to sexual assault as a young person, for which I never sought justice and has had some impact on my later emotional state.

In the dream, I did not seek help from the police in a normal manner, but instead, wrote a letter (so took a long route to getting legal resolution for my son) and then confronted my attacker with accusations of their own wrongdoing in order to appease my sense of personal justice. Envelopes symbolise opportunities and testing limits and boundaries. The paparazzi in this dream (a possible link to Monroe, who was a paparazzi favourite?) represent a perceived invasion of privacy and a loss of identity. It may also be a sign that the dreamer needs to capture and idea/concept and focus on a specific situation. 

The name 'Aaron Normalmormon' is interesting as it appears to have religious connotations, but it may also be a play on words - the repetition of the 'orm' sound. I cannot think of a particular waking life experience which may have influenced me to dream of this particular name.

So, that concludes my 7 Day Dream Incubation Experiment. I think I am going to extend the period of the experiment for another 7 days, commencing Thursday 27 November 2014 (officially yesterday, but I haven't gone to bed yet, so it will be the sleep which followed my being awake on Thursday, if you see what I mean). While this dream incubation experiment has not been particularly successful, in that I did not actually dream of Marilyn Monroe, it has not been a complete failure, as not only have I had amazingly vivid and well-recalled dreams on every night (even on the night I was out-of-my-senses drunk on vodka and passed out!) but also, I feel I did learn something about myself subconsciously, by paying attention to both my manifest and latent dream content, and undertaking an interpretative analysis of each of my dreams, noting recurrent themes and the influence of daily residue on dream content. I will conduct the next 7 days of dream incubation in the same way as before - see the aims/methodology which is contained in the first two posts linked above and also here and here. Please stay tuned for more updates on my Dream Incubation Experience!

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