Thursday, 13 November 2014

Dream 303 - Worst False Awakening I've Ever Experienced

6 Level False Awakening
Yesterday, I attended my first meeting of the Exploring Lucid Dreaming in Norwich Group and as a result of setting a personal goal of having a lucid dream and using it to ask a dream character something about myself, incubated an intention to experience lucidity in a dream, performing my usual reality checks. I went to bed early (for me).

(1) I woke up and my laptop was on my bed, on my chest/stomach area. It was playing a Kendra Wilkinson sex tape. In the video, Wilkinson was laying on a beach and someone was inserting a bicycle pump into various holes which had been cut into her body, while she was masturbating. I had my own hand down my trousers, touching myself.

* Note in real life, Wilkinson has been confirmed as a contestant on the ITV show, I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here and this week reports re-emerged that many years ago she had made a sex tape which has been leaked. I did not consciously know about the sex tape and had not seen the recent news articles, certainly not yesterday or the say before, when I hadn't used the internet or seen/read any news (I discovered the news about the sex tape by Googling it now).

I realised immediately that I was asleep and this was a false awakening, because (a) I wouldn't have my laptop on me while I was in bed asleep; (b) I wouldn't watch a celebrity sex tape; and (c) I wouldn't touch myself while watching Kendra Wilkinson or any other celebrity making amateur porn, especially not when there is blood/gore and bicycle pumps. I did not need to reality check. I decided to change to Youtube and see what video started playing. I didn't even need to type in the URL, as immediately upon thinking about changing the image on the screen, a movie/TV show started playing. It was a drama about a young man and his girlfriend who ran a bar in America. The woman befriended another young, attractive girl and invited her to the bar to hang out with her and her boyfriend. This backfired on the girlfriend, because the new girl got completely drunk on spirits while at the bar (which was crowded with patrons) and then stripped off and started dancing in her underwear, attracting the attention and admiration of the boyfriend, who decided to cheat on the girlfriend with the new girl. I found this movie/show quite boring, so I moved my laptop and placed in back on my set of drawers at the end of the bed (where it usually sits and where it was in real life at this time). I then felt something alien moving around in my stomach, trying to push its way out through my belly button and I felt scared, and so tried to go to sleep.

(2) I woke up again. Something felt odd, so I performed a reality check and found that my right hand was the back of an old school 1990s Nintendo Gameboy. I realised I was in another false awakening. I saw lots of very small red demons floating in the air, in a diagonal line, above my bed. I reached out to try and swipe them away with my hand, but my hand went through them as if they were holograms. I felt a little bit anxious and tried to wake up properly, but instead just went back to sleep.

(3) I woke up again and saw that a coat hanger with a white T-shirt was floating in the room, near my desk/chair. It was being shaken. I felt even more scared because the third false awakening in a row. I tried to wake up, and felt a little bit relieved that on no occasion did I have sleep paralysis which would have made the experience worse.

(4) I woke up again, this time, seeing that the white T-shirt was in fact a white carrier bag from my university shop, which was upright on the desk (in real-life, the only white thing on or near my desk is a white bath towel which is draped over the back of my desk chair). I heard someone moving around downstairs and just knew it couldn't be my housemate, BG. I then heard someone whispering my name in a voice which was neither distinguishably male or female. I desperately wanted to wake up and so started screaming: 'Help, help, help!' hoping that my housemate would hear me in my sleep and come and bang on my door to see what was wrong so I would wake up. Nothing happened and I knew that I wasn't making any actual noise, it was just in my dream. I tried even harder to scream at the top of my lungs (it seemed very loud to me) and even hoped that my neighbours, SC and DB might hear me through the walls. Nothing happened again. I started jumping up and down on my bed, hoping this might wake me up and I felt paranoid that I was stuck in this series of false awakenings. 

(5) I then 'fell back' onto my bed, and woke up with a start - in my fifth false awakening. It was if I 'landed' in my own bed and the jolt of landing 'woke' me, but I knew I was still asleep, because the strange voice was still repeatedly whispering my name and now I could hear heavy footsteps on the stairs (which run parallel to the wall beside my bed). I then heard a noise which sounded exactly like someone using a broom to sweep the carpet behind my bed (I sleep at the foot of my bed so I can face my drawers and watch my laptop in bed, so the 'top' (head end) of my bed is a foot away from my bedroom door, facing away from it. I turned around and I could see nothing which would be making this noise, but blue mist was rising from the floor. I felt so panicked that I thought I might hyperventilate and was so confused as to why I was experiencing so many false awakenings, one after the other, with no escape. I pushed myself out of the bed and fell on the floor, landing hard.

(6) I woke up with a jolt in my bed again - in the sixth false awakening. I could still hear the sound of a broom sweeping the carpet behind me. I actually thought I would be trapped in this false awakening situation forever at this point, because I was so out of control of the experience. I didn't dare get out of bed to investigate because I didn't want to 'meet' the thing/person who had come into my house and walked up the stairs, as I was sure it/they were lurking outside my bedroom door, waiting for me to do this. I had no belief in my power to control the experience, as so far every attempt to end the terror had failed. I tried to go back to sleep.

I woke up and I was really awake. I did a reality check to confirm this and saw my laptop was on the screen which had been open when I fell asleep in real life and that the white towel was on the back of the chair. There was nothing odd, but I decided to check my mobile to see the time - it was 6:23 am - so I had been asleep for roughly 5 hours. I then wanted to distract myself, so I logged onto Facebook to shake away the fear which I was left with. The fear came from the fact I was lucid and consciously aware that I was in a false awakening state throughout, but could not leave or control the experience.

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