Tuesday 11 November 2014

Dream 301

'Parties, Penises & Broken TVs'
I was in a house - it was not familiar and it appeared to be very crowded with people who I am not sure if I recognised or not because the dream started off very vague and then became increasingly vivid and memorable. The house seemed normal, if a little small for the amount of people gathered in it, and the furniture seemed to be past its best, sort of old-fashioned and worn. I was in the kitchen, where the majority of people were present - all doing their own thing. I was aware that someone was launching some kind of product of service (I cannot recall what) aimed as transgender people, but I thought the product/service was wrong and would exploit or misunderstand the transgender consumers. I felt that the transgender community deserved something better. I was sitting at the kitchen table, thinking about this. I saw that AP - a girl from my high school - was cooking something in a frying pan on an old stove. When I looked closer, it seemed that the 'food' was in fact just pebbles and stones. She was wearing pale pink trousers and a pink top, which did not match. I then saw SC - my neighbour - standing across a road, with some green bushes behind him. He was waiting for AP and I to join him, along with the others. He indicated that we had to dress in black tie and I was happy to note that I was wearing a ball gown (I just knew I was, I didn't actually see what the gown looked like). I felt sorry for AP who was dressed casually, but she was defiant and was not prepared to change her clothes.

I was then in my house in Norwich. FV - another neighbour - was in my hallway, by the front door. He was wearing tight black jeans. I tried to give him a hug, but he said 'don't touch me!' and I was aware that he had something delicate and breakable in his jacket pocket and I was crushing it. I am not sure what it was. 

I steppe through into the lounge/kitchen area, where my mum was making corned beef sandwiches and other buffet food. This area of my house looked reasonably the same as it should in real-life, but it was much, much bigger and there were walls which partially separated the space, instead of it being one big open-plan room. There were literally hindreds of people in the house, many of them running riot, partying. Some of them I knew, and others were unfamiliar. There were several children just running around, creating havoc, throwing streamers and balloons. I was slightly annoyed that my house had been invaded in this way. My housemate BG was present - in the kitchen area with my mum, helping her to make the sandwiches. My aunt, VF was also there, eating corned beef sandwiches as they were being made. I noticed that there was a male sitting on the kitchen counter. It seemed to be a composite between a boy I went to school with - JCW (who I have not seen in about 16 years nor had cause to think about) and someone else. This male was naked from the waist down, had an erect penis and was masturbating. His penis looked extremely white, but normal size, and bits of hair clippings were flying from the hole at the end as he wanked himself off. I was REALLY annoyed, not just because he was acting obscene in my house, but because he was doing this act in the kitchen, where food was being prepared. I noticed that he had orgasmed and his 'come' (semen) was lots of pairs of scissors which piled up around the microwave. No-one else seemed prepared to tell him to stop. I said to those gathered in the immediate vicinity: 'He's doing this in the kitchen, it's not right!' Although I could see my mum and BG were not pleased with him, they did nothing, leaving it to me to handle the situation. I said: 'F*ck off you dirty c*nt!' to him, and he jumped off the counter, but on his way out of the house, he touched my hand with the tip of his penis, which made me feel violated and repulsed. I mentioned this fact to my mum, BG and VF. I then saw a group of male children running past me, and I tried to stop them and tell them to calm down, but they dodged me. 

DL was then with me and could tell that I was angry that my house had been invaded. People were leaving the house now, but VF was still eating corned beef sandwiches at the kitchen counter. I knew she had to leave to go back to her own house soon and I was aware that the party had been in her honour, although I am not sure what was being celebrated. I saw a computer screen with Facebook open on it. There was a comments thread under someone's status (not someone I knew, either in real-life or the dream). I started to read the comments and was aware that some of the replies were missing, which meant that the conversation did not make sense. I realised that the missing replies must be from someone who blocked me. I did not know any of the people involved in the thread, but I could see that one person had written: 'She said she doesn't even know you, so you have to leave her alone'. I was aware that this comment was in relation to me and that the missing person who was commenting on the thread was a person I know in real-life (only through Facebook) who is called Kelly and a male, who lives somewhere in Africa. In real-life I had added Kelly after he sent me a friend request a couple of years ago, and we did at that stage have a mutual friend, RBA, who has since unfriended Kelly. I had to block Kelly because he kept harassing me, telling me he loved me and not listening to him when I told him he didn't know me at all (we have never met, never had a full conversation, he doesn't know the first thing about me other than what I post on my Facebook and he had even started leaving antagonistic comments on my statuses in response to my actual friends and family members). The final straw came when I noticed (from my news feed) that Kelly was writing messages about me on his own Facebook, sometimes in his own language, which meant I would just see my name in English, but not be able to read the rest of his status to see what he had written. He would bombard me with personal messages about living me and how much it hurt him that I didn't like him, even when I informed him it was harassment. I finally blocked him about a month ago when I could no longer take his behaviour. In this dream, Kelly had started writing about me on his Facebook again, and it was clear that his friends were telling him that he was stupid and inappropriate to chase me when I didn't want to know him and had no feelings for him. 

I then noticed that the lounge area had extended and now had a large table by the window (instead of the coffee table which is there in real-life), on which was a TV (not particularly modern) on a black matte plastic stand. DL, AK and a few other people I know from university were present - the rest of the people having left by this time. I said I would use the TV to show my friends who Kelly was and the type of harassment I had suffered. I think I was planning to log onto my Facebook profile via the TV. AK joined me at the desk. I could see that it was daylight and the walls were decorated differently (although I cannot recall how). There was also a door in the corner, adjacent to the window, when in reality this is just a wall separating my house from SC, my neighbour's house. It felt like we were in the 1980s, but not the glitzy, yuppie-type 1980s, more like the dreary, poverty-stricken suburban experience of the UK during the recession. I am not sure how this feeling was conveyed to me, but I just got this notion that everything was more retro than normal and the environment somehow felt similar to one I might have experienced in my childhood. I guess the best description for this experience was that of 'déjà vu'. As I went to switch on the TV, it fell off the stand. It looked like the stand had broken, and partly melted. I felt anxious as I realised that this was not my TV, but I was actually in my mum's house (although it looked more like my own house in Norwich still). AK would not help me to lift the TV up, so I struggled to do so myself, and eventually managed to get it back on the stand and secured. The door by the window opened and I saw my stepdad standing in the doorway. 

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