Thursday, 23 April 2015

Dream 418

'Nail Glue'
Dream date: 22 April 2015 

Day 1 of 14-Day Dream Incubation Experiment - The 'Dream Town' Dream
This is Day 1 of my 14-Day Dream Incubation Experiment. Click on the red link to access the article which explains the experiment.

I had a false awakening, but I did not realise this at the time (only after when I was fully awake). This should have been a lucidity trigger, because the experience was not only recurrent (see Dream 412), but it was also odd enough to have made me question whether I was dreaming. However, I did not. The false awakening started with me waking up in my bed, tangled in my duvet, which was completely enclosing me. Through a gap to the left side, I could see my hand(s), but instead of just two, there were many mirror images of the palms of my hands, like a kaleidoscope image. I have tried to include some similar images below. Looking at your hands and noticing they look strange or deformed is a perfect way of triggering a realisation that you are dreaming, but I missed the opportunity. I heard my cleaner Tony come into my house. He may have actually come into my house during this dream, but I am aware (post-factum) that the actions described were from my dream. not his real-life actions. I could also hear Rachel, my former cleaner, in the house next-door (this was not true in real-life, as the cleaners work singularly and Rachel has been promoted to an administrative role). Rachel was conversing (in a shouting voice) with Tony through the walls separating the houses. I am not sure what they were talking about. I then heard Tony shouting my name, which he continued to do for ages, with no response from me. He asked me (from outside my bedroom door): 'I wanted to see if the pillow I left you was OK' and then said: 'It's an intimiate pillow' (neither of which remarks made real-life sense to me on reflection). Tony then left and I fell into a normal dream state again.

I was with PS and we were in an outside environment, supposedly going somewhere together, but I got the distinct impression that PS did not want me there with him. I am not sure where we were, but it wasn't my 'Dream Town' - it may have been Sheringham or a part of Norwich/London, as we both seemed familiar with the area. PS was really angry and during this part of the dream, his face was in a deep frown and he had an aggressive tone to his voice. We turned down a road and found ourselves on Handford Drive, Sheringham, which is a cut-though which joins adjacent roads - the one my nan lives on, and Pine Grove, where I used to live for part of my childhood. I used to walk this route many times a week (see Google Maps image, below). It was a bright sunny day and there were some random dream characters in the general vicinity - local people. PS was telling me that LRB (a friend of his with whom I am acquainted) had been saying bad things about me, judging me and telling PS that I was no good for him and he should leave me alone. It appeared that PS was somewhat persuaded by LRB, despite me reassuring him that I was no longer the same person with whom he had had a long-term and chaotic relationship and had changed for the better. PS did not seem convinced by what I was saying, and we continued our argument as we walked down the road, with PS seeming to be more and more set on going somewhere without me. 

There was another scene which I cannot recall, other than it involved white objects and me having to select something.

I was then in my nan's living-room in Sheringham. It was evening. My mum was in the kitchen, doing something. I was sitting on the sofa, giving myself a manicure. I was putting on fake nails. The sofa was not the usual brown one, but a white leather one. I realised that I had got nail glue on the white leather arm of the sofa. I was worried as I knew this was a new sofa and my mum would be angry that I had ruined it. I wondered how to remove the nail glue without her noticing. She was speaking to me from the kitchen (I could see her through the open doorway). I then saw there were black shapes on the sofa, which I perceived to be ink spills. I felt relieved, as if the sofa had already been stained and ruined from ink then I would not be blamed for spilling glue on it. I then realised the black 'ink spills' were part of the sofa design, not stains and felt worried again. I know these black patterns had not been there the first time I looked (just after noticing I had spilled the nail glue). I woke up. 

TIME: 09:00 - 13:00 hours

  • My hands looked like a kaleidoscope image (A - Action/F - Form)
  • The recurrent dream scene of Tony/Rachel in my house should have been a dreamsign (IA - Inner Awareness/A - Action/C - Context)
  • The blank 'ink spill' patterns suddenly appeared on the sofa (A - Action/F - Form)

Recurrent Dream Themes:
  • False awakening involving my cleaners Tony and Rachel (see Dream 412)
  • PS as a dream character
  • My nan's liing-room as a dream scene

Potential Day/Dream Residue:
  • I had seen LBR post on Facebook and I also mentioned him in a conversation very recent to ths dream. He has expressed misogynistic views regarding women, appearance and rape culture which I strongly disagree with.
  • I had a few conversations with a friend very shortly before this dream, which related to respect for women's lifestyle choices (I was being implicitly judged by a male friend because I rejected his romantic advances and prioritise sexual chemistry and excitement over early emotional attachment and 'love' when forming new relationships. I find it hard to become emotionally attached and empathetic and am not an affectionate person - traits which were being viewed as 'negative' by this male friend who was interested in me, but dejected by my strong sexual identity and lack of interest in romance/relationships. I also discussed this conversation with other friends, to seek their opinion. 
  • A couple of days before this dream I had given myself a manicure, which involved putting on fake nails.

Waking Thoughts & Emotions:

This dream left me feeling slightly uneasy as PS had seemed so rejecting and hostile towards me and I could not work out what might have given him this ill-feeling towards me. This dream had negative emotions attached to it, which remained with me when I first awoke. I was also frustrated by the fact I seem to have lost my ability to recognise a false awakening and turn it into a lucid dream.

* I have forgotten a scene in the middle of this dream. If I recall anything further, I will record it below.

I cannot analyse the false awakening aspect of this dream, other than to suggest that the sight of the 'hand kaleidoscope' was a missed opportunity to perform a reality check and realised I was dreaming. 

The dream incubation experiment involves me visiting my 'Dream Town', but the main parts of this dream took place in my childhood (and occasional adult) hometown of Sheringham. This (my nan's house) was the place I returned to after breaking up with PS and moving away from London. One of my main issues with LRB was that I always felt he might be badmouthing me to PS behind my back and I thought he had a slightly misogynistic and embittered view of women - particularly because when PS and I had relationship problems, he had probably been made aware of them and voiced an opinion on me and my value as a girlfriend. PS has since indicated to me that LRB can be argumentative and wrong in his strong opinions. I know my 'Dream Town' isn't Sheringham (which is a very small town and completely unlike the my 'Dream Town', which is larger and more urban. However, the fact ths dream involved Sheringham most likely relates to the fact I see this location as a safe haven and the place where my family reside - so it is my most fixed home address (considering I have been quite a transient person, living in temporary accommodation for most of my adult life). Handford Drive, in Sheringham, is the cut-through road which links my nan's house and my former childhood home on Pine Grove. 

This dream had many negative emotions attached to it - the feelings of being rejected by PS and judged by LRB; and the fear that I would be in trouble for staining the new sofa with nail glue through my carelessness. 

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