Wednesday 10 July 2019

Dream 1005 (PARTIAL NIGHTMARE)

'Bare-chested Nightmare Stalker Woman & Beanstalks'
Date: 10 July 2019
Scene 1: An Unknown Interior - Night
This dream was very vivid - perhaps as a result of REM Rebound Effect and also the Vitamin B6 in the Vitamin B Complex pills I have been taking. I woke up briefly from this dream and then fell back asleep before doing anything to consolidate the memory or record the dream. I was awoken from the second period of sleep by a telephone call from AJR on my landline. This means that I have forgotten a large amount of this vivid and complex dream, which is unfortunate as I remember that I found this very interesting and extraordinary when I first woke up from it and was excited to record it on this Blog. 

The first scene took place in an interior, which I cannot recall. My cousin HM was present, along with some other (maybe 2?) female dream characters, who I know are familiar to me in real life - I think they may have been girls I went to high school with. In the dream I found it odd that my cousin knew them and was socialising with them. I had a distinct feeling of being isolated and left out. I wanted/needed to buy gifts for my cousin HM - I am not sure why. I was confused as to what gifts would be age-appropriate for her, as she seemed to be a child (she is 3 years younger than me in real life, and a married mother). HM and the other female dream characters were sitting around a table, closely, heads bowed, talking about something, or doing some kind of unseen activity - there was a sense of secrecy about what they were doing. 

I left and went to what I think was a section of the WH Smith shop in York Train Station (I feel that this shop has appeared in previous dreams - which at the time of writing this dream record, I have not yet investigated/researched - I will do this and post my results below. I have not been to York or the train station there since my undergraduate degree days in the early 2000s). I was looking at a shelf of items - it is not clear what items were on the shelves - I did recall when I first woke up, but I have forgotten. I remember that I selected a few items, but were doubting if they were appropriate for HM. I cannot remember exactly what items I bought as gifts, other than there was a pot plant, a doll or teddy bear and a colouring book. I was unsure about these gifts. 

Scene 2: AJR's Mum's House - Night
This was the most interesting dream scene in my memory, and it is the one I have forgotten the most detail about, which is a shame. I was in AJR's mum's house (I have never been there before in real life - I will visit for the first time when he is released from prison). The house was very open plan and the lights were very bright. There were sliding patio doors leading out to a garden and the room appeared to be a kitchen and lounge area, although I cannot recall anything else about the decor or furnishings. I had come running into the house in a panic, from outside. AJR's mum showed concern as to why I was scared and I told her I was being stalked by a small woman. AJR's mum was talking to me about this, when the small woman attempted to enter the house via the patio doors. She was small - about 4.5 foot i height and very bent over and crooked. She was white and had messy brown hair - and appeared to be older than myself and AJR's mum, but I cannot recall anything else about her appearance, other than she was wearing a white top which was torn at the front and was exposing a bare breast, which had a very prominent lactating nipple. This made me feel even more scared of her. I knew the woman had bad intent towards me, although the details of this have been forgotten. AJR's mum said that the cats (apparently there were a number of cats in the house) would deal with the situation. The idea was that the cats would be used to scare the bare-chested stalker woman away. I felt terrified and was trying to stay away from the patio door in case the woman got to me. I cannot recall what happened, but I know that either AJR's mum or the cats did manage to get her to leave and I was unharmed. This section of the dream felt like a nightmare. 

Scene 3: An Unknown Interior - Time Unknown
There was a large quantity of this dream scene which I have forgotten. I remember feeling very unsettled during this part of the dream, although I cannot recall why. There was a very strange feeling. I was in an interior, which I cannot remember, although I had a thought about the Two Lifeboats Hotel, Sheringham, where I used to work with my Mum. Something to do with wanting to work that day and not being able to. I saw my cousin HM and the other female dream characters from Scene 1 - they had the gifts I had purchased for them earlier in the dream. The small pot plant had not grown into a huge beanstalk (still in the pot), which extended for hundreds of meters into the sky (which meant that the ceiling was extremely high and I could not see it). I was surprised by this - and again, very unsettled, as it did not appear to be 'normal'. I still felt isolated and ostracised - no-one was directly acknowledging me. 

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Additional Notes:
  • I am sure I have had a previous dream set in York train station, and specifically the WH Smith's shop there, but I cannot find it on this Blog, which leads me to believe it might be a false memory. I have a distinct (real life?) memory of being in that shop and flicking through a magazine which was running a story about Mariah Carey's mental breakdown, her 'feud' with Jennifer Lopez and the fact she thought Marilyn Monroe was communicating with her through a piano she once owned that Mariah had bought. Searching Google about this latter incident reveals articles dating back to 2001 - which would have been the period during which I was an undergraduate at the University of York, and regularly travelling by train (I used to go to Manchester on the weekends as I was dating someone, CW, who lived there). I will keep investigating this, as I was 99% certain I had a dream which referenced these real life memories, which stand out so clearly in my mind
  • I had a telephone conversation with AJR's mum shortly before I went to sleep and had this dream
  • AJR's mum said she would be 'sorting' some things out - this involved not only purchasing certain household items for AJR, but also in relation to a problematic woman with bad intent who has a fixation on AJR
  • AJR's mum mentioned she had hedgehogs in her back garden
  • As I was falling asleep, I was watching a Youtube video from Nexpo, which involved a mysterious incident involving home security cameras, cats and a presence causing fear in a Reddit user. I noticed that the next video on autoplay was about an experience with a stalker
  • On the night before this dream I was preparing thumbnails for my latest video - part of The Dreamhacker Series, which teaches dreamwork. Initially I had considered using an image of myself on the thumbnail and the one I had selected showed me wearing a white top which dropped down and exposed my shoulder 

UPDATE
I continued to search this Blog for a dream involving York Train Station and WH Smiths, and eventually managed to find one - looking at this dream, I am shocked beyond belief at some of the content - I have copied the dream below - rather annoyingly, I had labelled this dream 'Lucid Dream Report 2 - Explanation of an Orgasm Dream' (28 January 2012), meaning that it does not follow my usual sequential numbering system for recording my dreams. I hate re-reading past posts on my Blog as everything seems inconsistent and messy! However, I want to spend some time explaining why this dream seems so odd and prophetic to me.


"The Explanation of an Orgasm Dream"
28 January 2012
This wasn’t a full lucid dream, but I have recorded it as if it were one due to the fact that, during this particular dream, I experienced the most successful application of the MILD technique yet. I feel as if this dream was some form of ‘breakthrough’ in my lucid dream training.

Techniques/triggers
Mental/training
  • MILD technique (20 minutes, accompanied by alpha binaural beats – see below)
I devised a new mnemonic technique over the last few days to see if it would be more effective. I began practicing the MILD technique at random, but regular times throughout the day (usually during a study break, when I was able to lie in a quiet room). I formulated a new mnemonic over a period of 2 – 3 days, starting with the phrase ‘Awareness, control, recall’ (i.e. ‘next time I dream I want to be aware I am dreaming; in control of my dream; and able to recall my dream on waking’). This was gradually condensed in meditation to a simple mental repetition of ‘ACR’. When I focus on this mnemonic, I picture the infinity symbol (a horizontal figure 8), as it seems to come naturally to mind when I meditate on my mnemonic. I also mark the back of my hand with the letters ‘ACR’ as a form of lucid dream trigger during waking hours.
  • WBTB (Wake-Back-to-Bed) technique (woke after 7 hours of delta sleep; remained awake for 20 minutes, then returned to above MILD technique/sleep)

Binaural beats 
  • 20 minutes of alpha beats during MILD (before delta sleep)
  • 90 minutes of delta beats (to properly induce delta sleep)
  • 20 minutes of alpha beats (following WBTB/MILD technique)
  •   1 hour of theta/gamma mix beats following alpha meditation (to induce REM sleep/lucidity)

Lucid dream supplements
  • High strength cod liver oil enriched with omega 3, 6 & 9 (3,600 mg)
  • Multivitamins A – Z with evening meal
  • Sea kelp (iodine) (90 mg)
  • CoEnzyme Q-10 (150 mg)
  • Gingko Biloba (120 mg)
  • Vitamin B Complex & added vitamin B6 (10 mg)
  • No 5-HTP (experimenting without to test improvement in dream recall)

Time of dream
During 1st hour of morning sleep following WBTB technique (after 7 hours of delta sleep)

Content
No lucidity at the start. I was standing watching a race/athletics running track. Running towards me was a white female nurse in full uniform, wearing sweatbands on her wrists and holding a notebook in front of her in both hands. She seemed to be massively tall – perhaps 7 foot tall. I didn’t try to communicate with her, but I realised that the race track was exactly the same as a local one in real-life which PS had used for shooting a music video (although the rapper in the video was a black male of normal height). I think this may have been a clue that I was dreaming – I was able to recognise what I was seeing in my dream as being ‘inspired’ by something I saw in real-life. The dream scene transitioned and suddenly I was sitting backwards on a dining room chair. I realised I was naked, but for a white thong. I was sticking my butt out and I turned round to check whether I really was naked, seeing my bare flesh. Suddenly I felt a male’s hands on my lower body, squeezing the flesh. I heard a voice say; “I still think you are the sexiest woman alive”. I didn’t recognise the voice exactly – it wasn’t one known to me in real-life. I then found myself walking down a corridor of a building and through double-doors – I wondered if it was a hospital – the decor was all brown and drab and the double-doors were made of rough wood, with circular windows cut out (I was reminded of the series of Doors paintings by British contemporary artist, Gary Hume). I stepped out onto a train platform – I noticed straightaway that it was York (where I attended university for my first undergraduate degree, although I have not visited in many years). I remembered (a real-life memory, recalled whilst in the dream) that I had once read an article in a magazine about Mariah Carey’s mental breakdown (several years ago) whilst standing outside by the glass-walled waiting rooms. I went into the WH Smiths store and looked at the magazine rack – sure enough, a magazine featuring a story of Mariah’s breakdown was prominently placed on the shelf – my eyes were instantly drawn to it. I wondered if I had gone back in time. I walked onto another platform (the one I used to depart from when visiting Manchester – i.e. westbound). There was a male character there, in addition to many other bystanders, all going about their business. The male was white with medium brown hair – unknown to me in real-life, and fairly non-descript. I would age him at approximately 20 – 25 years. I didn’t really care about getting to know him or finding out why he seemed to be waiting for me on the platform, but I knew I was supposed to speak to him (it was as if it were a ‘necessary chore’). The male asked me what an orgasm was and I found myself explaining, although I was finding it very difficult as I’m not an anatomical expert, nor a doctor. I was using crude, non-medical terminology and no matter how many times I tried to explain, the male couldn’t comprehend the concept of an orgasm whatsoever. I was becoming frustrated. I asked him what his name was. He answered; “ACR” and instantly I became lucid. I felt absolutely elated and recognised the fact this was my lucid dream trigger in operation. I then had the following realisation: ‘I bet I’m in York because earlier I told a friend and mutual fan of writer/actress Julia Davis (my favourite woman on British TV and idol) that she had attended York to read English & Drama and this has influenced my dream location’. I didn’t know what to do with my lucidity as I felt so excited. I said to the male character: “I’m in control of this dream, I can do what I like”. He said: “go on then”. I didn’t have a clue what I should do. I remembered that two days before when I was on a train to London, we had been trapped onboard due to a fatality (someone getting severed by the train) which had become a potential crime scene. I thought: ‘should I push him into the side of a train?’ I heard a train approaching the platform at speed. I changed my mind. Instead, I took my index finger and poked him in the forehead. I felt my finger push through his skull into his brain. He fell down dead on the platform. I said (in reference to a conversation I had being having earlier in my waking-life, about the footballer Diego Maradona): “hand of God!” I thought that I had better leave the scene and almost immediately I found myself standing in a glistening skyscraper, looking out to a glittering metropolis (it seemed to be in America to me, or at least that is the association my mind made). The sun was so bright and hot, it was bouncing off the millions of glass windows and the cars below. I could see wide sandy-coloured roads and luscious palm trees and thought: ‘California’. I then knew it was not the present time, but sometime in the golden age of the 1980s economic boom – I could see people at street level with 1980s fashion and primitive mobile telephones – yuppies. I felt very happy and positive – everything seemed to be buzzing with life, business and success in this city. I couldn’t get myself down to ground level – I was stuck in the skyscraper looking out. If I wanted to see what was below me in closer detail, I could - but it was more like a mental projection – I was always standing in the office space above, by the floor-to-ceiling window, feeling the sun radiate onto my face and obscure my vision. I was content, but as I found myself only able to watch the actions of others, I decided to try to move to another location. I thought about going to Cromer (as in real-life I am planning to view some flats for rent there). I was standing on a residential road which runs parallel to the beach/sea. There is a hotel situated on this road, which is the main coastal route into Cromer. I was standing outside the hotel, with various members of my family across on the other side (closer to the promenade/sea). I had a drink in my hand and I realised that it was carnival time (it seemed to be early evening and although I could not see any carnival floats/persons in fancy dress, there seemed to be a celebratory atmosphere with throngs of people, of all ages, milling about and standing in gatherings, drinking and laughing). I wanted to cross the road to get to my family. I pushed my way through the crowds of party-goers to get to the road-side, but before I could cross, the scene transitioned (beyond my control). Suddenly, I found myself in the Jarrold’s Department Store in Norwich. It was just before Christmas and the store was buzzing with customers, everything brightly lit and decorated with gold, red and green. It was quite dark outside. I was aware my Mum and Nan were somewhere in the store and that we were all taking part in a shopping trip. I saw a make-up counter and decided I wanted to get some free luxury brand make-up, but felt the instant need to pee. Over the tannoy system, a female voice said (in an overjoyed tone): “it’s the ‘90s!’ I was incredibly happy, as I have always vowed to use lucid dreaming to re-live the 1990s, my favourite period of recent cultural history, as the adult ‘me’. However the need to pee was so distracting and I thought to myself: ‘I can’t go to the toilet in the dream in case I wet the bed in real-life’. I concentrated on waking up, disappointed to have to cut my lucid dream short. I woke up, still desperately needing to pee, but in a very dry bed (fortunately)!!!

Analysis of this past dream in a 2019 context
  • I have recently made a Dreamhacker video which mentions the Wake-Back-to-Bed method, mnemonics and Vitamin B6 (as well as 5-HTP and REM Rebound Effect)
  • Lucid Dream Report 2 - The Explanation of an Orgasm Dream refers to a mnemonic I was using at the time to help induce lucidity in a dream - 'ACR'. Bear with me, while I attempt to explain why this appears to be so odd reading this back in 2019 within the context of this current dream. During my conversation with AJR's mum I mentioned 2 women who (for very different reasons) appeared to pose a threat to my relationship with AJR at one point in time. One of them was the woman referred to above in the Additional Notes section, who I will refer to as LPB. The other was a friend of AJR's, NJ - who is now a friend of mine on Facebook. NJ has a son, who I will refer to as 'AC' (this is literally how you pronounce his real name). Therefore, the reference to ACR in Lucid Dream Report 2 - The Explanation of an Orgasm Dream (bearing in mind the connection to AJR - who's last name begins with R, and the context in which NJ's son was mentioned) is especially pertinent. Even more pertinent is the reference to the 7-foot woman dressed as a nurse in Lucid Dream Report 2 - The Explanation of an Orgasm Dream. LPB is a care assistant and is extremely large - both in height and width. It is a running joke between AJR and I that LPB (who was infatuated with JR) once sent him a photograph of herself wearing a latex naughty nurse's outfit (I have seen this photograph, and without being too negative, it is extremely unpleasant and unsexy, revealing a lot of cleavage and taken from a strange upwards facing angle, which a lot of filter on the face. AJR told me he had recently found this photograph in his paperwork and had destroyed it
  • There is nudity referenced in Lucid Dream Report 2 -  The Explanation of an Orgasm Dream - specifically, my naked butt. AJR tells me he likes small boobs and large butts (which is my body type)
  • Lucid Dream Report 2 - The Explanation of an Orgasm Dream clearly outlines the memory of being in WH Smiths in York Train Station, and seeing the magazine containing the article about Mariah Carey's breakdown
  • 2012 is the year in which I randomly dreamed of AJR (during a period in which we had had no contact at all for nearly 6 years, and ostensibly no reason to even think about one another - see STORYTIME: I DREAMED OF THE FUTURE LOVE OF MY LIFE MANY YEARS AGO (EVIDENCE PROVIDED!) and Dream 70 (2 August 2012) - I wonder if the white male dream character who was waiting for me on the train station platform in Lucid Dream Report 2 - The Explanation of an Orgasm Dream was actually representative of AJR? This might be somewhat of a stretch, as there were no defining characteristics which would lead me to come to this conclusion - obviously, the thing which would stand out the most would be if the male dream character was a criminal convict/prisoner or wearing the E-list (anti-escape) suit I associated with AJR whenever he randomly popped into my memory (this being the outfit he was wearing when I first met him). In Lucid Dream Report 2 - The Explanation of an Orgasm Dream, I was explaining the concept of an orgasm to the male dream character, and it felt like a chore having to speak to him (reminiscent of all the pointless, trivial legal visits AJR had requested of me, when I first met him in 2006/7?) He said his name was 'ACR' - which is strikingly similar to 'AJR'. AJR and I have another running joke about female anatomy - based on some screenshots from social media which I had described to him due to their humorous nature (one was from a webcam model - a Facebook friend - who had posted a screenshot of a webcam chat in which a male customer had said 'your clit's tight' and the other was in a Facebook group, showing a text conversation in which the male participant had referred to the female's 'clickoris') - we had been joking about 'tight clits' and 'clickorises' in our telephone conversation on the night of this current dream. AJR and I had also discussed 'control' and 'doing what we wanted' in a joke context. Lucid Dream Report 2 - The Explanation of an Orgasm Dream refers to 'hand of God' and me killing the male dream character -  whenever I say the phrase 'Oh my God', AJR jokes that I should say 'Oh my AJ[R]' - this was said during our telephone conversation on the night of this current dream, and I had also made jokes about killing AJR when he is released from prison (we always joke about violence, as we have a dark sense of humour)
I could analyse this (Lucid Dream Report 2 - The Explanation of an Orgasm Dream) much more, but a lot of what I write would be assumptions or trying to find spurious links between this, the current dream and my real life. However, I am genuinely bemused at how significant some of these links appear to be. 

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