'Choosing the Love of My Life in a Dream'
Date: 30 June 2019
Scene 1: An Unknown Interior - Time Unknown
I was in an interior environment with my ex-boyfriend PS. I cannot recall much about the location of the dream, other than it felt very 'fairytale' - there was some wood and some plants. There was also a bed. I recognised PS was being very weird with me - quiet and vague, as if his mind was elsewhere, or he did not want to be with me. I decided I needed to ask him, and he reassured me he did want to be with me. I was stressed. I noticed PS was wearing a leather belt with some kind of white studs on it - not the style I would associate with him in real life. Although I did not pick up on it in the dream, his jeans were higher up towards his waist - he used to wear them very low, below his butt cheeks. There was something (unrecalled in detail) about a blonde woman who I felt jealous of, as if she was my rival for PS' affections - I am not sure if she appeared in the dream in person, or whether I was just thinking about her. This part of the dream was unclear. I was laying on the bed and PS tried to mount me in the missionary position, while undoing his belt. I then moved away from him, which made him angry with me, because I was avoiding physical contact with him. I said that we should go for a walk.
Scene 2: A Street - Day
PS and I were then outside, walking, with N the Dog beside us. We were on a city street and it was very overcast - this is something I specifically remember noticing in the dream. I am not sure if I noticed any other dream characters in this outside location, but I do remember seeing tall red brick walls to my right, at a point where it felt like I was standing in front of PS, facing him, rather than standing beside him. It was as if we were in some backlot or wide passageway behind buildings at this point. We were arguing. I cannot recall the specifics of the argument, but it was clear that it was about our relationship and the way we were not getting on. PS told me he needed to go and make a video and he would be leaving me by myself (this was something that used to happen in real life at times, when I was living with PS in London, around the time I began this Blog).
I was walking alone in the city and I came to a shop window display. I knew it was night now, suddenly, because the window display was illuminated against the dark of the street. I did not think it was odd that the time had changed so rapidly. I am still not sure if there were other dream characters present, but this was a main street. The shop window was displaying diamonds - of all sizes, from very small (which would fit in a modest ring) to huge ones, the size of tennis balls, or perhaps a little larger. The rest of the display seemed to be white and glass, but I cannot recall many details. The window was on a corner of the building, so it had an edge and 2 sides. I was impressed by the beautiful display of diamonds, but not as much as I would in real life - it seemed almost ordinary in the dream.
A car then pulled up and I got into it, as if it was what I was intended to do - although I do not recall how I knew it was OK for me to get in the car. It was dark - perhaps black or navy, grey etc. The back of the car had a partition between whoever the driver was and those sitting in the back - like a limousine or a taxi. RBA was sitting with his back to the driver, in a rear-facing seat. He was wearing a pair of large aviator shades, with very reflective silver-blue mirrored lenses. I cannot recall what else he was wearing in this dream. I sat opposite him, in the front-facing seat. RBA told me he was in the middle of a weed deal and he was delivering a large quantity of cannabis in a black bin bag to someone on this street (he may have said who, but I cannot recall). I then remember looking out of the car window, to my right (weirdly, I have realised that, because of the way the car approached me (from the right) and how I got into the back seat, behind the right-side driver, this means the car had been driving on the wrong side of the road for the UK). Now it was daylight - and sunny. Again, I did not find this odd. The diamond shop window display should have been right in my field of vision, as we had not driven anywhere at all and had remained parked on the curbside. Everything had a yellow tinge to it, maybe from the sunshine. The shop was now selling 'Oombies', which were small, knitted spheres, the size of pool balls, in a variety of colours. I knew what they were because they were a popular thing - a trend. The outside of the Oombie shop looked like it was made of sandstone and belonged at the seaside. The large window display was gone, and there was a small serving hatch, with a striped sunshade on it, which again looked like it belonged at the seaside.
RBA told me to try on his sunglasses. I did - and when I looked at my reflection (not sure how I saw myself, as it just seemed as if a mirror popped up in front of me as soon as I tried the sunglasses on). My face was bright red and flushed - I noticed this as being odd in the dream. RBA said: 'they don't suit you' and I agreed with him. He began to exit the car to head into the the Oombie shop, with his black bin bag of cannabis.
Scene 3: A Bedsit - Day
I then found myself round the back of some buildings, and I knew that I was near to the sea, although I cannot recall if I ever knew what town/city I was in. The sun was shining. The back of the buildings were very rundown - with a lot of rubbish/litter on the ground. The walls of the building I was standing in front of were white and peeling/cracked (looking back on this with hindsight, this was very much reminiscent of Seacliff (aka 'Salty Towers'), a building containing bedsits, on the clifftops of Sheringham (which I happened to refer to in conversation a couple of days before this dream - see below images for reference). However, I do not think I was actually in Sheringham in this dream. This was definitely the back entrance to the property, as I knew it was a block of flats/bedsits and that I was not going in the front entrance. I entered and the building was dark inside and felt either old or unclean, or both. There were doors going off the corridor, and then concrete stairs/steps up to the next floor. I cannot recall any furnishings/decor in this place. I went up one flight of stairs, which curved round. On the first floor, it was similar to the ground floor, but I knew which door to approach. I entered as it was unlocked. I was in a bedsit - it was furnished in a typical way - no specific details stand out in my mind, other than there was definitely a bed and an armchair in the same room, that everything looked old-fashioned or retro in a way I cannot describe, and that the curtains were letting sunlight stream into the room from between the holes in the fabric (blue/green?) AJR was in the room - he was standing by the window, with his back to me. When I came into the room, he turned around. I was there to tell him that I had chosen to be with him, and it appeared that this had been a decision I had always had to make (i.e. within the dream it was not a spur of the moment thing, or as spontaneous as the dream narrative makes it seem), because AJR said to me that he had been waiting for me to make up my mind since I'd come home - the implication being I'd been in a foreign country (I have no idea where, it was just clear to me in the dream that I had been somewhere and that it was overseas - in real life I do not travel and have not travelled since 2005/6 time when I went to Amsterdam for the weekend with my ex-boyfriend HL, prior to my relationship with PS). AJR told me we were going to eat lobster for breakfast, which made me pleased (breakfast appeared to be the next meal, which is in keeping with the weird time skips in this dream). He said we should walk 'down to the traffic lights' to go and collect the fresh lobsters from the fishermen. At this stage - and I recall this clearly - I noticed AJR was wearing blue and white checked tracksuit bottoms (see below image - with hindsight, they resembled chef's trousers, as pictured, due to this being the exact same design I saw in my dream) and a blue T-shirt. I know I only just noticed this, because within the dream I thought it was odd that I'd never seen him wear a blue T-shirt before now (I don't think I have! Maybe I've noticed a blue T-shirt worn under the HMP Wayland regulation shirt).
I cannot recall anything else about this dream.
Scene 1: An Unknown Interior - Time Unknown
I was in an interior environment with my ex-boyfriend PS. I cannot recall much about the location of the dream, other than it felt very 'fairytale' - there was some wood and some plants. There was also a bed. I recognised PS was being very weird with me - quiet and vague, as if his mind was elsewhere, or he did not want to be with me. I decided I needed to ask him, and he reassured me he did want to be with me. I was stressed. I noticed PS was wearing a leather belt with some kind of white studs on it - not the style I would associate with him in real life. Although I did not pick up on it in the dream, his jeans were higher up towards his waist - he used to wear them very low, below his butt cheeks. There was something (unrecalled in detail) about a blonde woman who I felt jealous of, as if she was my rival for PS' affections - I am not sure if she appeared in the dream in person, or whether I was just thinking about her. This part of the dream was unclear. I was laying on the bed and PS tried to mount me in the missionary position, while undoing his belt. I then moved away from him, which made him angry with me, because I was avoiding physical contact with him. I said that we should go for a walk.
Scene 2: A Street - Day
PS and I were then outside, walking, with N the Dog beside us. We were on a city street and it was very overcast - this is something I specifically remember noticing in the dream. I am not sure if I noticed any other dream characters in this outside location, but I do remember seeing tall red brick walls to my right, at a point where it felt like I was standing in front of PS, facing him, rather than standing beside him. It was as if we were in some backlot or wide passageway behind buildings at this point. We were arguing. I cannot recall the specifics of the argument, but it was clear that it was about our relationship and the way we were not getting on. PS told me he needed to go and make a video and he would be leaving me by myself (this was something that used to happen in real life at times, when I was living with PS in London, around the time I began this Blog).
I was walking alone in the city and I came to a shop window display. I knew it was night now, suddenly, because the window display was illuminated against the dark of the street. I did not think it was odd that the time had changed so rapidly. I am still not sure if there were other dream characters present, but this was a main street. The shop window was displaying diamonds - of all sizes, from very small (which would fit in a modest ring) to huge ones, the size of tennis balls, or perhaps a little larger. The rest of the display seemed to be white and glass, but I cannot recall many details. The window was on a corner of the building, so it had an edge and 2 sides. I was impressed by the beautiful display of diamonds, but not as much as I would in real life - it seemed almost ordinary in the dream.
A car then pulled up and I got into it, as if it was what I was intended to do - although I do not recall how I knew it was OK for me to get in the car. It was dark - perhaps black or navy, grey etc. The back of the car had a partition between whoever the driver was and those sitting in the back - like a limousine or a taxi. RBA was sitting with his back to the driver, in a rear-facing seat. He was wearing a pair of large aviator shades, with very reflective silver-blue mirrored lenses. I cannot recall what else he was wearing in this dream. I sat opposite him, in the front-facing seat. RBA told me he was in the middle of a weed deal and he was delivering a large quantity of cannabis in a black bin bag to someone on this street (he may have said who, but I cannot recall). I then remember looking out of the car window, to my right (weirdly, I have realised that, because of the way the car approached me (from the right) and how I got into the back seat, behind the right-side driver, this means the car had been driving on the wrong side of the road for the UK). Now it was daylight - and sunny. Again, I did not find this odd. The diamond shop window display should have been right in my field of vision, as we had not driven anywhere at all and had remained parked on the curbside. Everything had a yellow tinge to it, maybe from the sunshine. The shop was now selling 'Oombies', which were small, knitted spheres, the size of pool balls, in a variety of colours. I knew what they were because they were a popular thing - a trend. The outside of the Oombie shop looked like it was made of sandstone and belonged at the seaside. The large window display was gone, and there was a small serving hatch, with a striped sunshade on it, which again looked like it belonged at the seaside.
RBA told me to try on his sunglasses. I did - and when I looked at my reflection (not sure how I saw myself, as it just seemed as if a mirror popped up in front of me as soon as I tried the sunglasses on). My face was bright red and flushed - I noticed this as being odd in the dream. RBA said: 'they don't suit you' and I agreed with him. He began to exit the car to head into the the Oombie shop, with his black bin bag of cannabis.
Scene 3: A Bedsit - Day
I then found myself round the back of some buildings, and I knew that I was near to the sea, although I cannot recall if I ever knew what town/city I was in. The sun was shining. The back of the buildings were very rundown - with a lot of rubbish/litter on the ground. The walls of the building I was standing in front of were white and peeling/cracked (looking back on this with hindsight, this was very much reminiscent of Seacliff (aka 'Salty Towers'), a building containing bedsits, on the clifftops of Sheringham (which I happened to refer to in conversation a couple of days before this dream - see below images for reference). However, I do not think I was actually in Sheringham in this dream. This was definitely the back entrance to the property, as I knew it was a block of flats/bedsits and that I was not going in the front entrance. I entered and the building was dark inside and felt either old or unclean, or both. There were doors going off the corridor, and then concrete stairs/steps up to the next floor. I cannot recall any furnishings/decor in this place. I went up one flight of stairs, which curved round. On the first floor, it was similar to the ground floor, but I knew which door to approach. I entered as it was unlocked. I was in a bedsit - it was furnished in a typical way - no specific details stand out in my mind, other than there was definitely a bed and an armchair in the same room, that everything looked old-fashioned or retro in a way I cannot describe, and that the curtains were letting sunlight stream into the room from between the holes in the fabric (blue/green?) AJR was in the room - he was standing by the window, with his back to me. When I came into the room, he turned around. I was there to tell him that I had chosen to be with him, and it appeared that this had been a decision I had always had to make (i.e. within the dream it was not a spur of the moment thing, or as spontaneous as the dream narrative makes it seem), because AJR said to me that he had been waiting for me to make up my mind since I'd come home - the implication being I'd been in a foreign country (I have no idea where, it was just clear to me in the dream that I had been somewhere and that it was overseas - in real life I do not travel and have not travelled since 2005/6 time when I went to Amsterdam for the weekend with my ex-boyfriend HL, prior to my relationship with PS). AJR told me we were going to eat lobster for breakfast, which made me pleased (breakfast appeared to be the next meal, which is in keeping with the weird time skips in this dream). He said we should walk 'down to the traffic lights' to go and collect the fresh lobsters from the fishermen. At this stage - and I recall this clearly - I noticed AJR was wearing blue and white checked tracksuit bottoms (see below image - with hindsight, they resembled chef's trousers, as pictured, due to this being the exact same design I saw in my dream) and a blue T-shirt. I know I only just noticed this, because within the dream I thought it was odd that I'd never seen him wear a blue T-shirt before now (I don't think I have! Maybe I've noticed a blue T-shirt worn under the HMP Wayland regulation shirt).
I cannot recall anything else about this dream.
Additional Notes:
- THIS IS DREAM 1000! To celebrate, I will record a Youtube video (with a direct quote from AJR about this dream) and do a detailed dream analysis/interpretation separately from this post - therefore I will comment on specific/particular dream residue events/real life influences in that post, rather than here
- I am so pleased that Dream 1000 seems (on the surface level at least) to have some kind of significance. I had been having trouble remembering dreams which would be recorded as Dream 999 and Dream 1000 - maybe because I was placing so much emphasis on them, and perhaps because I was smoking some cannabis at this time, which has a negative impact on dreaming/dream recall (until you experience the REM Rebound Effect - click here for an explanation of this phenomena and also click here for an article on the effect of cannabis on dreaming). This dream happened to take place during a short period in which I had not smoked any cannabis, making the REM Rebound Effect a possibility. I had also taken a Vitamin B Complex pill, which, contains Vitamin B6, which is known to have a positive effect on dream recall (I started taking the vitamins 2 days before this dream took place)
- Of course, this dream appears to be very significant due to me 'choosing' AJR over PS. It is also worth noting that I first started dating PS shortly before I met AJR 11-12 years ago - it would have been during the first 6 - 8 months of my relationship, because I had not yet moved to London with PS, and therefore left my law firm, through which I met AJR. I also first met RBA around that time - I knew of him from online (he was/is a successful battle rapper) - I first met him in person at the same time I started dating PS, this being around the same time I met AJR. The fact the dream characters and narrative of this dream all have some contemporaneous link within my real life makes it appear more significant, if that makes sense. I will analyse/interpret this dream more thoroughly in due course. Meanwhile, check out these posts which explain my relationship with AJR and strange dream phenomena surrounding my relationship with him:
- STORYTIME: I DREAMED OF THE FUTURE LOVE OF MY LIFE, MANY YEARS AGO (EVIDENCE PROVIDED!)
- Lucid Dream Phenomena - Telepathic Boyfriend?
- Love on Lockdown | A Very Candid Insight into Tallulah La Ghash
- Dream 998 - 'My Dream Town Becomes Victorian' - I'm linking this dream record because at the bottom of this post there is a list of previous dreams which involve my 'Dream Town' - a location which exists as a recurrent symbol/theme throughout my dreams over the years. This post also explains a potential anomaly between the name of this 'Dream Town' and my relationship with AJR - the name of my 'Dream Town' (which I had investigated and questioned in the past) is pretty much that of the nearest town to where AJR will be living when he first comes out of prison. I am hoping to do a through investigation into my 'Dream Town' dreams at some stage, so I will address this there, too. However, I felt it was worth highlighting this ominous aspect of my dreams since it felt significant to me
The following conversation took place during a telephone conversation with AJR, a few days after this dream. I had previously told him the content of Dream 1000, and during this subsequent telephone conversation I asked for his impressions/reactions so that I could put it on record. I transcribed this conversation verbatim during the conversation:
Me: What do you think about Dream 1000?
AJR: I can't remember it. I remember you telling me, but not the details
[I tell AJR the content of Dream 1000 again]
AJR: OK, you want a quote. I wish you'd stayed with him [my ex-boyfriend, PS] for fuck sake!
Me: You can't say that or I'll get demonetised!
AJR: Oh the phone beeped [indicating the phone call is about to time out, after approximately 20 minutes per call] Saved by the bell! I love it when that happens!
The following part of our conversation was not transcribed, so I am recounting it in my own words. When I described the outfit that AJR was wearing, and pointed out I had never seen him wear a blue T-shirt before, he said that he was wearing a blue T-shirt at that very moment - and blue and white shorts (striped).
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